The Gift of Misfortune
by KNeu21
Summary: Direct off-shoot of my 'Re-Vamped' series! I HIGHLY SUGGEST READING THAT FIRST! After waking up as a nine-year-old again to find the entire rest of her life had been a dream, Leandra struggles to find answers where there aren't any. None that make sense, anyway. She learns to trust all over again, and learns that the future can change. RATED M! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Allllrighty. Here goes the beginning notes, okay? Pay attention, my wonderful readers.  
One: This is going to start off DIRECTLY where 'Hunting for the Day - Re-Vamped' left off. A lot of you asked if it really ended that way, and I was originally going to let it end there. Because I'm cruel like that, but after enough time of thinking about it, and going over it and over it and over it and over it and over it in my mind, this is the gem I came up with.  
Two: The first two chapters are almost EXACTLY the same as the beginning chapters of 'Beneath the Twilight - Re-Vamped' because I'm creative like that.  
BUT!  
Pay attention, because there is a change here or there.  
And finally, THREE: This is going to be a LOT longer than 'Beneath the Twilight - Re-Vamped'. Just a heads up. So be prepared for it to take several chapters to get to the real good stuff. You know, like in my other stories, where I completely skipped over everything we _don't_ already know.  
And that's about it. So... On to the wonderful, but necessary:  
DIsCLAIMER!  
I own NOTHING! I don't own Twilight, or ANYTHING affiliated with it! I only own Leandra, except sometimes, she runs away with my imagination, and refuses to let the damn story end where I wanted to leave it. Okay? Is that good? Or..  
Yeah, whatever. It's good enough.  
*Pushes up sleeves* I think I'm finally ready to get back into this.  
ONWARD!**

**Chapter One**

Shaking off the dream I had the night before, I stood there for a moment, clinging to the door frame of my bedroom. Carefully choosing my breaths, waiting for the intense pain to become tolerable. Both physically and emotionally.

It had been hard, so unbelievably hard to tell myself that none of that had been real. The crushing, debilitating disappointment squeezed my heart, making it difficult to breathe. Coughing a sob, I listened to the sound of it return to me. I looked around me with a heartbreakingly torn expression, searching for some way this was fake.

That's all it was. That's all it had been. A dream.

I'd had a family. I'd had a life. I'd had something worth living for.

I'd had dreams of them before. Of the kindness they showed me, but even as it faded even faster, I had to admit that it had been more vivid, more real than the others I'd had in the past. Regardless, it had been a dream, otherwise I wouldn't still be here.

Who were they? These people I dreamed about? Probably nobody worth thinking about. People I made up.

There were bits that I'd forgotten right away. Most of it, most of the details had faded. Gone the moment I opened my eyes, but some stuck. The color gold. I didn't know anything about what that had to do with anything, but it was something that stuck out. I remembered how it felt to be supported, to be cared about. All the events, every single one, and every lesson I'd learned faded slower, but faded nonetheless.

I struggled now to hold onto the feeling of being safe. That was one of the main emotions that stuck out to me. I needed that, but I had to struggle to hold onto it.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't often I had nice dreams like that. My mind obviously cracking, turning against me in rebellion of what Jack put me through. Showing me what life could be like, but tearing it away from me the second I opened my eyes.

With a deep, shaky breath, I forced myself forward. Clinging to the one thing I could still recall clearly, the color gold, I kept moving. Losing all the apparent strength I'd found in that dream, I forced myself to face the facts. I was unlovable. Unwanted. Worthless. I was alone. I always would be until I finally died of a broken heart.

At that thought, a sob tore free. I'd been doing so well up until that point, but that thought nearly crumbled me. My heart broke, as if telling me I was already half way toward death, sending waves of emotional pain through me.

I didn't remember anymore what I'd lost by waking up, but I wanted it back.

Coughing another sob, I limped from my bedroom, attempting to ignore my mother's quiet snores behind me on the couch in the living room as I made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower. I've felt this way before.

I couldn't stop living because of a dream. I had to continue living for myself. I should have been grateful to wake up at all, but I couldn't help hating the fact just a little. Quite a bit, actually. I had to keep moving, though.

New and old bruises covered every inch of me that could be covered, even a few places I had to be creative at hiding. Meeting my own lifeless clear green eyes in the mirror, I slowly eased my hand up, and moved my mid-back-length dark auburn hair from in front of my face. Shoulder to toe screaming in pain, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

This was a daily ritual for me.

Proving to myself by taking a deep breath as I held my reflection's gaze that I was still alive. I dared not hope that anyone would care enough to look passed my blatant lies, but some part of me refused to give up. I would survive these years. Despite how I often never wanted to, I would. If I hadn't died yet, I doubted much of anything would kill me.

I showered quickly, hating the way the ice cold water caused even more pain than before.

The harsh spray of the icy water made it difficult to take a breath as it poured over my welts. It was more of a rinse than a shower, letting the previous day run into the drain with the water. As I could only bear the pain for five minutes. If that. Clenching my teeth around the sharp cry of agony that attempted to claw its way out.

And as I stood there, placing water-resistant concealer over older, fading bruises on my cheek, a pleadingly desperate prayer that had always sat in the back of my mind came forward once more.

Please. Let someone see me today.

Anybody. A teacher, a classmate. A passer-by on the street. Anybody. I didn't care who, just somebody who would look passed my carefully constructed facade of attitude. Somebody who wouldn't fall for my lies. Somebody who would just take a second glance. See passed the attempts I always made to push them away, and see that I wasn't okay. I wasn't alright. To see that I needed somebody to just look at me. To see me, the real me, the frightened me. The me that desperately needed a helping hand, but had always been too afraid to ask for it.

I hated giving that prayer much thought, especially after the dream I had, because once that thought was through, another thought would squash it flat.

Today would be no different than any other day. I'd go to school, and I'd suffer. I'd survive that minimal suffering, and return home to Jack's sadistic anger, and suffer then too. I'd survive that Hell, and I'd return to school, where I'd suffer some more. That was my life. Sad, disgusting and abysmal. I was the lowest form of a child, and that was my life. It'd never change, so I never understood why I bothered to hold even a shred of a hope.

I was the runt that nobody saw. The equvallent of a stray kitten on the rain-soaked street that nobody stopped to pick up, despite my drenched fur and obvious desperation and malnutrition. The kind that would run from anyone who attempted to pick me up, but look back at once they gave up. Wondering why nobody ever tried harder.

I saw my life like a shattered mirror. Broken, pieces missing. Damaged, unfixable.

I left the bathroom, and I dressed in my long-sleeved dark brown sweater, and baggy, holey jeans. I hated wearing things twice in a row. I'd washed them, of course, but it didn't matter to a lot of my classmates. All they saw was the fact I wore them again.

I didn't have much to my name. A few torn articles of clothing, and that was about it. My tennis shoes, which should have been a size too small, but still fit easily, were nearly giving in, and I hoped they had another year left in them.

I hardly ever got new clothes. And when I did, they were never new. They were always whatever Jack could find in the dumpster behind the thrift store. Clothes that no one would ever be caught dead wearing. As it was, I was wearing the best piece of clothing I owned. My sweater. The sleeves overtook my hands, but was thin enough to not do much in the way of keeping me warm. It was heavily comfortable, though. Loose on me, so it didn't irritate the brand new bruises and welts, but covered them very effectively. It was about three sizes too big for me, falling to about my upper thigh. I didn't mind that so much, though. I liked it.

I pulled my dark pink wool hat over my loose hair, and I was set.

I took a deep breath, allowing myself a handful of sobs, before leaving my bedroom. Closing the door behind me with a deep sniffle, I rounded the corner and stepped quietly over to where my mother laid on the couch.

Despite her heartbreaking choices, I still loved her. Despite the way she consistently ensured that she'd never see me, I still loved her. I shook my head, grabbed the small blanket off the end of the couch, and laid it over her.

"You drank too much last night." I told her quietly, knowing she never heard me. She continued to snore, oblivious to my presence. I sighed and turned, looking to the pack of cigarettes she had sitting on the coffee table within her reach. I lifted the pack, and the lighter sitting beside it. Looking to the clock, I had time.

My snarling stomach never ceased to ache. For as long as I could remember, I'd been hungry. Jack purposefully kept the house void of any kind of food. My best hope was that he brought left-over lunch home, and gave me a few scraps, or the school lunch.

The lunches the school provided never satisfied my hunger, and definitely wasn't enough to live on. Today, we were supposed to bring a packed lunch, for the field trip, so that killed any hope of eating today. I'd just have to deal with it. The best I could do to deal with it, was give my mouth something to do. It was the only thing I had.

I gingerly took a seat on the loveseat near my mom, and lit up a cigarette. I smoked quickly, sitting there calmly, nibbling on my thumbnail between drags. I knew that even if my mom woke up and saw me doing this, she wouldn't have enough energy to care. Her pale skin told me she'd had too much to drink the night before, and would probably wake up soon only to puke, grab another beer, and fall back to sleep. She was killing herself with her choices and habits, completely forgetting that she had a daughter that needed her.

It never had been much different, anyway. Remember, I told myself, I'm the runt that nobody wants. Even my own mother.

I smoked for maybe five minutes, listening to her snore beside me on the couch, before deciding to just take it with me. I shoved the half-full pack into a small, faded black backpack, and headed for the door.

"Have a good day, mom." I murmured as I opened the front door, "Try not to drink too much." No one answered me. It was as if the house were empty. I had no doubts that she'd still be there when I got home from school.

Luckily, my little school was just up the road from my house. So I could make it there within thirty minutes if I walked fast enough.

I managed to finish my cigarette before it really started to rain, sticking to the shelter of the trees on the side of the highway until it was done. Cars passed me, and just like any other day, no one slowed down or even attempted to prevent themselves from spraying me with the mist off their tires.

It was days like this, I truly hated my life. Days after beatings like the one last night always seemed darker, more nauseating. One thought that always managed to make my heart ache, was that my father was out there somewhere. My real father, not the monster I lived with. My father had left, divorcing my mother when I was just a toddler. I'd not heard from, or seen him since I was three years old. Even then, I wasn't sure the memories I had of him were real.

I'd seen a picture or two of him, and found that I'd taken most of his looks. Hardly any of my mother found in my features. I always felt a heavy sense of bitterness when I thought of how he seemed to forget about the fact that he had a daughter out there, and never bothered to check up on her. I hated him for leaving me and my mother, but he just had to be better than Jack.

My shoes were useless in protecting my socks from getting hopelessly soaked as I stepped in puddle after puddle. I considered skipping school today as I arrived within sight of the small building. I knew I couldn't, though. They'd call Jack, and he'd be pissed.

"Leandra! You're all wet!" I ignored Rachel's irritating voice as I walked passed the playground, and headed toward the front doors of the small elementary school.

I hated Rachel with a passion. She was always relentlessly mean to me. Coming from one of the best families in town, and having the attitude to match. Pretty, to boot. Long blonde hair, and crystal blue eyes always made me jealous of her. Not to mention, she'd always had the best clothes. Her parents relentlessly providing for her and her older brother who had started middle school that year. I wished I was pretty, but I knew that even if I were, I'd probably not even be able to hold a light to Rachel's looks. Even if I didn't have all my scars, or bruises, I would never be as pretty as Rachel.

Which was why I hated her.

There weren't many of us here, maybe 35 kids to this school, and it covered Kindergarten through sixth grade. That was it for us in this town.

Sappho was just a little side town to the only slightly larger town of Forks, Washington. Fifteen minutes away, tops. The parents in town demanded at least an elementary school be built, just so they wouldn't have to pay the three cents extra a year in taxes for the busses to take us to Forks instead.

I was glad, however, that this school existed. Walking to the elementary school in Forks would have sucked. I didn't know what I'd do when I had to start going to the middle school in two years. Maybe by then, I'd be tougher, and have the stamina to walk that far twice a day five days a week. Right then, there was no way.

By the time I walked into the front doors of the school, the other kids had noticed me as well. Calling after me in a sneer as they played on the covered, bright colored jungle gym. Squealing like animals when the cold rain would somehow drip on them off the overhang. As always, I kept my gaze down, walked faster with my hands stuffed deep into the pockets of my jeans. I headed inside to try to dry off before the bell rang.

Walking through the small main hallway, my wet shoes made quiet squeaking noises on the shiny linoleum. Just being here, though, seemed to comfort me. It wasn't the blood-stained house I came from. I made my way into my classroom, glad the door was open.

"Hi there, Leandra." The teacher, Mr. Daniels spoke, looking up from his desk, "Didn't feel up to playing outside today?" I shook my head, sitting down at my desk.

I took my hat from my head, letting my hair fall down in front of my face, and laying my hat flat on my desk. Taking my little backpack off, I laid it under my desk at my feet. Keeping tabs on it by tucking my foot through one of the loops. I'd know if it was moved, and I'd punch the one moving it.

I often came inside first thing upon getting to school, so this was nothing new to him. My lack of a jacket stopped bothering him long ago, and much like he always did, he sighed and looked back down at whatever was on his desk. I never bothered him, sitting in here, so he never minded. I was quiet, and all I ever did was just sit here. Sometimes snoozing, other times staring at my hat. Absentmindedly smoothing it flat over the desk.

The longer I sat there in the silence, the more I felt myself unwinding. Relaxing from the hectic weekend I'd just had, receiving one of the worst beatings I'd gotten in awhile. I could still feel each slam of the belt against my skin. I could still hear the way he grunted with effort as he brought it down over me. It still echoed in the back of my mind, along with my cries for mercy, and I hoped I'd have at least a night off, but I doubted it. Those were few and far between.

I stared down at my hands as I slowly smoothed my hat out, making sure to stay sitting up straight, and keeping my back off the back of the seat. That would have been intolerable. Not with how fresh these welts were.

"Are you excited for the field trip today?" Mr. Daniels asked me, and I jumped. Not expecting his attempt at a conversation. I just shrugged gingerly, keeping my eyes on my hands. I was never excited for anything anymore, to be honest. In fact, I hated the field trip today. If it weren't for the stupid field trip, I would be able to look forward to eating something today. I wouldn't be missing out on lunch if it weren't for this stupid field trip.

"Did you have a nice weekend?" He asked, and I began to fear he was looking too closely.

"Always do." I mumbled quietly. I nearly choked on the words, hating the way my lie burned in my mouth. Inside, I was screaming, crying so unbelievably hard. On the outside, however, I merely continued to smooth my hat over my desk. Perhaps only a bit more tensely flattening it.

"That's good." He replied, a small smile on his face. He stopped trying to make conversation after that, probably sensing I wasn't up for talking.

I never spoke much during school. I never acted out, and I never caused any problems. I was always afraid that if I spoke too much, I'd start screaming and never stop, so I kept silent.

The bell rang a few minutes later, calling all the little urchins into class. I kept my gaze down as the desks around me became occupied. I tucked my little bag closer between my feet, paranoid somebody was going to try and take it from me. I knew we'd only be sitting here for maybe half an hour, before we all had to get up again and go out to the bus.

Mr. Daniels began his stupid speech about manners and behaving ourselves once everyone shut up enough to listen. How we all wanted to make a good impression on the high school students. I would have much preferred to just stay where I was. I already knew I was going to hate the high school as much as I hated this one. It would never be anything more to me than somewhere to go to let myself heal a little bit from Jack's actions. Before being forced to go right back home for more.

I tried running away from home once. When I was five. I never made it passed the back steps. The night around me had scared me deeply, and I froze where I stood until Jack lifted me and carried me back inside. Where I received a beating, the threat of losing my life if I ever tried that again, and locked in my room for two days. Needless to day, I never tried that again.

"You have nothing to be nervous about." Mr. Daniels smiled at me, patting my shoulder as he saw my hesitation outside beside the bus. I swallowed the shout of pain and sighed, resigned to my fate.

It certainly didn't help that I was the smallest in my class. In my school, actually. Most kids were over 4 foot, I was still stuck far under that. I'd always been small, probably thanks to Jack starving me most of my life. I didn't grow as I should have started to by now.

One bus could easily hold all of us. The yellow of the bus seemed ominous to me, like I wanted to turn and run from it. I just knew today was going to bite.

"Come on, Leandra." Mr. Daniels urged me and I sighed again, stepping forward and climbing the steep steps. Walking down the aisle until I got near the back, I chose myself a seat on the left and sat down near the window.

I fixed my hair until it was covering my face once again and I stared out the window, already in my own world, ignoring everyone around me. I wished I could say the others ignored me too, but that wasn't the case. I did sometimes have my blissfully ignored moments, but a lot of the other girls didn't think I was "cool" enough to be left alone. Rachel especially.

The bullying got bad sometimes, but it wasn't anything like I received at home, so I was thankful it hadn't escalated.

I didn't even look over when the seat next to me became occupied. I just gingerly slid down in my seat, my knees resting in the middle of the seat in front of me as I stared up at the window.

Too soon, we were all on our way.

"Hi, Leandra." I sighed at the voice of Rachel in the occupied seat beside me. I was considerably smaller than she was. I was the runt of the class, which already called for some picking on me. She didn't like me because I'd spit at her once.

"Hi, Rachel." I murmured, trying to be polite.

"So." She said, "You wore that shirt on Friday. Do you own anything else?"

"No." I said sarcastically, "There wasn't any fabric left after they made your shirt."

She laughed, "You know, I don't know why you bother coming to school at all. You're not smart enough to learn anything." Her sneer was beginning to irritate me. I honestly had no idea what made the other kids attempt to bring me lower than I already was.

"Oh," I said, sitting, "I come to school purely for our conversations, Rachel. I wake up each morning thinking to myself, 'Oh, I hope Rachel degrades me today!' It's all I think about until you come up to me, and grace me with your hideous presence." I glared at her.

"You're so ugly. That's why you have to wear that make-up." She laughed, switching seats. I sighed, sliding back down in my seat. I already knew that, thank you.

"At least I have an excuse." I said a little louder than I should have, "What's yours, Rachel?"

"Excuse me?" She asked, standing back up and sitting beside me again.

"You heard me." I murmured, not bothering to look at her.

"I don't think I did." She growled, "Repeat that."

"I said, at least I have an excuse. What is yours?" I looked at her.

I flinched at the rough slap she gave me. Involuntary tears coming to my eyes. Though her slap was nowhere near the strength I was used to, it triggered my instinct to cry. After a moment of her laughing at the few tears that trailed down my cheeks, I looked at her, glaring now.

Without thinking, I brought my fist across her face. The way it'd always been done to me. As hard as I could. I didn't think. She hit me, so I hit her back. She started to cry harder than I had, and immediately unoccupied the seat beside me.

"My apologies, Rachel." I snapped, "Was I too rough on your pretty little face? Good. Hope you rot in hell." I continued to cry as well, glaring back out the window. Though it wasn't near the degree of Rachel's tears. I'd dealt with a lot worse than what she gave me. Rachel's horde of friends glared my way as they comforted her.

I hated the way she thought she could hit me and not get hit in return. There was only one person who was allowed to hit me, and that was Jack. I cried quietly, hating Rachel even more.

All I wanted, ever, was to be left alone. Why couldn't anyone see that? I would live out my sentence in purgatory, and all I asked was to not be bothered. Was that so much to ask for? I didn't think it was. I found myself thinking thoughts that I often did.

Maybe I should just kill myself.

I didn't have much of a future where I was living. I didn't have much of anything where I was living. I didn't have anything to look forward to, except beatings every day. Maybe the next one would kill me. Maybe this next one would be the last, and I could finally just let everything go. I cried harder thinking about that, ignoring Rachel's sniffling laugh behind me at the sight of me still crying.

Though I was only nine years old, I already found myself aching on a daily basis for it all to end. I was so tired already, having been through so much in just nine years, I didn't care what the rest of my life had in store for me. I didn't care. I just wanted a way out.

Count on teachers not to be paying attention to what was happening in the back of the bus. The twenty minute ride was uneventful from there.

We pulled out front of the high school, and everyone started standing before the bus had even stopped moving. I knew what the high schoolers were probably thinking. 'Great, a bus-load of brats.'

I stood, and as I went to step out into the aisle, Rachel placed her hand on my head, shoving me roughly back into the seat. Again, I swallowed back the loud cry of pain that exploded through me once I landed against the side of the bus, squeezing left over tears out of my eyes as I fought for breath. A choking, quiet sob left me once I managed to stand again, having to pull myself up by the back of the seat in front of me. I was the last to climb off, dabbing tears from my cheeks, hoping the concealer had stayed after my emotional bus ride.

As soon as I made my way off the steps, Mr. Daniels took me aside.

"Leandra, did you hit Rachel?" He asked quietly. Shit. She ratted. A tremble rolled through me as I hoped beyond hope that Mr. Daniels didn't decide to call Jack.

"Yes." I said, "But she hit me first."

"You girls need to learn to get along." He sighed, "I've switched you to her group for the day."

"What?" I asked, looking up at him, "That's not fair!"

"I'm sorry, Leandra." He said, turning back to the rest of the class. I huffed and stuffed my hands in my jeans pockets. Great. Just fucking perfect. What chance I had at any kind of fun I'd have today was just smashed into little tiny pieces.

I gripped my little backpack closer to me, leaving my eyes down. Glaring at the ground, I waited for the teachers to hurry up and make sure we were all accounted for. It'd never happened before, but I wondered what they'd do if they ever lost one of us before the field trip even really started.

What was the protocol for being an unobservant dumbass?

I was half tempted to run off, just to see what they did. I never would, but I was honestly curious. I doubted they would even notice anyway.

"Alright." I looked back up, squinting up at Mr. Daniels, "Find your groups. Know your chaperone. They're the ones that will be escorting you around campus." We each were given a paper, telling us where to go and when. On this paper was a map of the school, in case any of us got seperated. It also had a list of our group member's names, with the exception of one name on my list being crossed off, and my name written below it. The one I took the place of, Julie, didn't seem to mind the fact that she'd changed groups.

Lucky me, Mr. Daniels was our chaperone. Probably to keep an eye on Rachel and I.

There were only enough of us fourth graders for three groups of four, so it'd be easy to keep track of everyone. Only one group would visit a class at once, alternating between them. By the end of the day, we'd have visited all of the classes. It was a way to let us get to know the high school for later on. Educational, and supposedly, fun.

Holding the piece of paper in my hands, I studied it as we began to walk. Unfortunately, Rachel and I were pressed tighter together in the group. I felt a foot place itself in front of mine, and I hit the ground with a whimpering cough. The landing spread pain throughout my body once more, and I couldn't hold back the quiet sob. That was quickly getting old, and I looked up, glaring after Rachel with my teeth clenched.

Picking myself up off the wet pavement, I watched Rachel as she grinned my way, continuing on with the group. One of the other teachers, Mrs. Kline, helped me up.

"Are you okay, sweety?" She asked, concerned.

"No." I grumbled, dusting off my jeans.

"What happened?" She asked, frowning as she watched me try and collect myself.

"The earth shifted." I told her dismissively. I bent down and picked up the piece of paper, now wet and crinkled. I smoothed it out, biting back tears as I quickly continued on to catch up to Mr. Daniels. Of course, the fact that he was deep in conversation with Mr. Carter was reason enough to not have seen that.

I watched as most of the class split up before heading into one of the several buildings with my group. I made sure to keep distance between Rachel and me for the time being. Hating her even worse with each throb of pain that pounded through me. I felt my patience with her thinning, and the day had just started.

I wasn't usually one to have a temper, but she was pushing it. She wasn't normally this persistent, and I half wondered why she was such a bitch today. I quickly decided I didn't care the reason why. All I cared about was the fact that if she didn't knock it off soon, I'd probably wind up getting into trouble. Wouldn't that be fitting? Pushing her down a flight of stairs, and _me_ getting into trouble for it. Picturing that, imagining pushing her down a flight of stairs brightened my day just a little bit.

I sighed and followed, sticking close by Mr. Daniels as we made our way into the first class. Looking around carefully, the older kids' eyes were on us as we stepped into the room. Some seeming annoyed, others enthusiastic about our arrival. The high school students all sat watching as we made our way in. Some of their faces lit up at our apparent "cuteness".

"Class, your first group is here." The teacher announced to them, "Move into your groups, and choose a student." The desks had already been rearranged, pushed into large groups of four. One of us for a group of theirs. I looked down, already hating this day.

I stepped closer to Mr. Daniels, but that didn't hide me enough not to be chosen.

A boy in my group was chosen first, before I heard a very feminine voice call.

"The small, darker haired girl." I looked up, realizing I was the only dark haired girl in my group. I looked to the group that had someone standing, and was greeted with a very kind, enthusiastic smile from the girl that stood watching me.

I found someone deeply familiar. Her eyes on me, my eyes on her. The depression melted from my eyes, and recognition entered them. I knew she saw it. Her smile faded ever so slightly, watching the emotions in my eyes.

I didn't know where I knew her from, but I knew her. It scared me. Giving another quick glance around, I stumbled a step back. Right back into Mr. Daniels.

"Go on." He urged, and I looked up at him.

"God," Rachel snorted, "I'll go. What a baby." That was unacceptable to me. I got moving then, stepping forward quickly. Blocking her path, spinning and shoving her back with much effort. All without a word. I gave her a look, and she looked nervously toward Mr. Daniels. Not daring to say a word either.

I slowly turned again, stiffly making my way to the open seat beside her. I didn't know what to think, but the color of her eyes was the same color I recalled from my dream. The very same. I sat down slowly, barely managing to hide the wince as I did so. I looked up at her, trying so hard to remember where I'd seen her.

"Have I ever met you before?" I whispered to her when the focus was off of me.

She hummed a little in thought, her smile still there, "No, I don't think so."

"That's what I thought." I mumbled, sitting straighter. I was so concerned about my sanity at that point, I had no idea what to think anymore.

"Why do you ask?" She asked, laughing a bit.

I closed my eyes in slight humiliation, "I don't even know." She studied me, but didn't comment. That had to sound so crazy. God, what was I thinking?

"What is your name?" She asked me, and I glanced up again, before looking back down at the table. Should I answer her? She had the gold eyes, though. She had to be okay.

"Leandra." I answered quietly, "I-I.. I'm sorry. A-About saying-"

"It's fine." She assured me, laughing a little. I fidgeted a little, trying to ease the pain. I cursed under my breath when all it did was make it flare. Squeezing my eyes shut. I didn't know what to say to her.

I tried to ignore the deep, resonating sense of deja vu. This felt so familiar. My frown was back. The one I had when I first woke up that morning. I nodded, letting her know I heard her. I couldn't speak, though. Not until I knew why I knew her. My own distrust keeping me silent.

Her smile was still kind, as were her golden eyes as I met them. For a moment, only one second in time, I swore she looked at me as if she'd met me before. Like she already knew me, and it shook me.

I looked back down, trying to gather my thoughts. There was no way she could know me. I didn't know anybody.

"Aww, she's so cute!" I turned my head, looking at Rachel's group, glaring. I shook my head and turned back forward, now glaring at the table. Running my hands over the printed wooden patterns. Like Rachel needed any more reason to feel superior.

"I'm Alice." She smiled at me, "And don't worry. You're cute too."

"No I'm not." I said immediately, a hint of confusion in my tone, "Not even close." Her eyes grew concerned, meeting my confused gaze.

"You don't like her?" Alice asked, and I simply shrugged gently. Her deep golden eyes seemed out of place, but her short black hair accentuated her features fairly well. She really was beautiful, making me not like her just a bit. Some kids had it all. Despite the jealousy, however, she had this air of happiness that seemed to draw me to her. I liked her, despite being devastatingly jealous of her.

"No." I finally said, looking down, "I don't. She's such a little..." I bit my tongue around the word I wanted to use, "Brat."

I turned my head again, my hair uncovering part of my face. I watched Rachel laugh, giggling obnoxiously along with the group she'd been chosen for. I desperately ached to hit her.

"Why not?" Alice asked. The rest of the group seemed content with leaving her to ask all the questions, not caring one bit that we hadn't gotten into anything in particular. Choosing to use this time to socialize with each other.

"I-I don't know.." I wasn't used to being asked so many questions. Normally, nobody ever tried this much, "She's not the easiest person to like." Instead of clamming up like I normally did, I found myself wanting to answer Alice's questions. Actually wanting to speak to her. Maybe it had something to do with the sense of familiarity, but I wasn't sure.

"Is she mean to you?"

"Yeah." I murmured, "All the time." It was the strangest feeling, actually having a conversation with someone.

"Well, don't listen to whatever she tells you." She said, smiling, "Don't let someone like that get you down."

"Yeah." I snorted, looking down, "I have so many other reasons to be thrown down." A short silence took place and I felt her studying my expression. For a small second, I feared some of the concealer had come off of my cheek. There was no way for me to check, so I had to settle with easing my nerves by the fact that nobody else freaked out. I kept my gaze down, trying to slow my racing heart.

"Oh, it can't be that bad, can it?" She asked, her smile fading in concern. For the oddest reason, I had to force back tears. I blinked a few times, clearing my vision enough to see the desk under my hands. The last thing I needed was to cry at such a simple question.

Hoping she didn't see that, I cleared my throat quietly, and sighed. She saw it, however. I knew she saw it. The pain in my tired eyes. Misery in every single one of my features.

I hated my life, and everybody in it. I hated everything about myself. I spent each waking moment in physical agony, and obviously each sleeping moment torturing myself with thoughts of how good life could be. How could it not be that bad?

"You have no idea." I gave her a forced smile, hoping to ease her concern.

"I think I can imagine." She replied, not falling for it. Something about the gold in her eyes made me uncomfortable. It made me feel as if she were actually looking at me. Not just seeing me, but her piercing gaze made me feel as if she could see every single thing I tried to hide.

I shook my head. There was no way. Shoving away the urge to hope. Even if she did have the slightest inkling of what went on at home, there would be nothing she could do. I scolded myself quietly. I had to get it together.

That dream had my head all messed up.

"So." She said, and I looked back up at her, "Tell me about yourself." Her tone had completely changed, throwing me off again. It returned to the same, chipper tone she'd first used. Open, friendly.

"There isn't much to know." I replied, gently getting more comfortable in the seat, "I'm not very interesting." My tone was quiet, much like it always was. Especially considering I was still confused. Very confused.

"I'm sure you're plenty fascinating." The way she said that made me believe her, if only for a moment. The smile she gave me was slightly contageous as well. I gave her a small, genuine one in return. I was quickly growing to like her. Too bad I'd never see her again after this class.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I asked, meeting her eyes again.

"How old are you?" She asked curiously.

"Same as just about everyone in my class." I said, "Nine."

"You're just a baby." She smiled, "You look a lot younger."

"I know." I said, my mood dropping as did my gaze. I blushed, sensitive about my height. I was sensitive about it because I knew the reason behind it.

"I only meant," She said quickly, trying to make up for her comment, "That I thought you had maybe skipped ahead a grade."

I sighed, shaking my head, "I'm not smart enough for that."

"Oh." She said, seeming worried now, "Okay, well. Tell me about home."

"No." I told her defensively, looking up again. She seemed slightly surprised at the finality of my tone. There was a quiet pause as we held each other's gaze. A solid wall of defense in my gaze until I realized that she'd meant no harm by that request. I was being rude, which I often did when someone asked about that part of my life. I looked back down, cursing quietly to myself, "Sorry. I just.." I trailed off, unsure of what excuse to give her.

"It's okay." She said quietly, comfortingly, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I just.. Don't like that subject." I murmured, shaking my head gently, "Pick another."

Luckily, the others seemed fine with Alice and I talking. They didn't bother interrupting us the entire hour we talked, letting Alice do all the interacting with me. We covered no part of what they'd been covering in class, and I was okay with that as well. I didn't mind so much just talking to her.

Okay, so the color gold was proving to be a good one. I honestly still had no idea what to make of the way I recognized her, but I didn't want to ruin anything. Perhaps it was best to distance myself from that color. Just to be safe.

**A/N: _Again_ with the A/N? Yes.  
So. There's the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it (Again), and look forward to the second chapter.  
Be nice to me. These last few weeks haven't been kind to me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

After the first iffy question, she carefully avoided any others like it. After the first defensive reaction, I didn't have to give another. I definitely wasn't used to this much talking, and my voice was starting to hurt. I didn't seem to mind, though, and just for a moment, I nearly completely forgot about how much pain I was in. Just talking to Alice distracted me for one blissful hour.

Sitting beside her, I felt the strangest sense of protection. As if just having a friend like her, people like Rachel no longer mattered. For an hour of time, the field trip seemed bearable. The longer I sat with her, the familiarity only got stronger.

Maybe that was why I got along so well with her? I searched my mind, trying to remember where I'd met her before. It just didn't sit right with me how I recognized the color of her eyes, and seemed drawn to her like I knew her. It scared me, but I couldn't be scared.

The entire time I answered her questions, she had given me her full attention. It was very strange to me, but I found I liked it. I was used to being in the background, always just there. Never listened to, never given a second glance. Never receiving attention, unless it was meant to hurt me. I found myself meeting her eyes more often, and I found myself smiling just a bit more often. I'd never had the opportunity to just talk, and it felt good.

"I want to ask you something, but I don't." I admitted quietly, and she gave me her attention again.

"Why not?" She asked, curious.

"Because I don't know what it is I want to ask." I mumbled, "And I've found out that it's better not to ask many questions. Nobody likes someone who asks too many questions."

"That's not how it should be." She frowned a little, "Who told you that?"

I looked down, "It doesn't matter."

"Is that why you're so quiet?" She asked, and I glanced up.

"I just never have much to say." I sighed, "I'm stuck in my mind a lot of the time."

"Sometimes it's good to talk." She offered, offering a bit of hope. I immediately shook my head.

"No it's not." I answered firmly, "It's not good to talk. Not at all." Worry crossed her features.

"This is the first time I've heard her speak so much." I looked over, up at Mr. Daniels as he came to stand beside the table, "What's your secret?"

I stopped talking then. Looking down immediately, I studied my hands in my lap. Even after he walked away, it was difficult for Alice to get a reply from me. Right back to my quiet self, but she never stopped trying.

By the time we had to leave, I didn't want to. I nearly cried saying goodbye to her.

At the end of the hour, Alice stood up as my class did and gently hugged me. The very slightest pressure that she gave me told me that she was being incredibly careful, which completely threw me off. How'd she know that any harder pressure would have hurt?

Not to mention the fact that I wasn't used to being hugged. Not in the slightest. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. She didn't seem the slightest bit discouraged by the fact that I didn't hug her back.

"Stay strong, Leandra." She told me as she pulled away, and I looked up at her. Though the rest of the group clearly found this behavior strange, they didn't comment.

"No promises." I found myself murmuring in response, meeting her eyes one last time before Mr. Daniels called me again. I glanced back to him, before sighing heavily, "And thank you. For talking to me."

"Why would she do that?" Rachel's sneer made me close my eyes and look down, "She was probably bored to tears the whole hour."

"Actually," Alice replied, "Leandra is very fascinating to talk to. I found her very intelligent and incredibly polite. She very easily held my attention the entire time she spoke to me. How many times have you been given that compliment, Rachel?" I smiled, despite the situation. Rachel didn't reply, aside from huffing and storming away.

"Thanks." I murmured, looking back up at her.

"Any time." She smiled encouragingly at me, and I couldn't help but return it.

"Leandra." Mr. Daniels called, "Let's go." I sighed, my smile fading.

"Bye." I told her.

"Take care, Leandra." She told me, and I paused before turning. Making my way toward the door where Mr. Daniels stood waiting.

I followed my group down the hall. This next class was english, which wasn't so hard. I didn't hate it as much as I hated math. I sighed, already missing Alice. This was going to be a very long day. I doubted I'd find another friendly face in this place. I just counted my lucky stars that I'd found just one.

I felt myself distracted by how strange the situation was. The sense of knowing this person, but having no idea where I'd seen her before. That didn't happen to me often. Usually, it was difficult for me to even look up and around enough.

By the time lunch rolled around, and the class gathered in the cafeteria with everyone else, I was nearly desperate to slip off on my own. Just as I had predicted, no one else attempted to talk to me the way she had. I kept my mouth shut, letting whoever prattle on about whatever subject they were on in the class we visited. Staring out the window.

I looked around the loud cafeteria once Mr. Daniels chose a table in the center of the room. So many people were in here, and it intimidated me. Much as situations like this often did. It made my stomach hurt. Although, I wasn't sure if that was from nervousness, or the smell of food in the room. My stomach snarled, and I rubbed it gently, whimpering quietly. Knowing I'd get nothing to quiet it.

I slowly looked up, and around at the feeling of being watched. Finding Alice's eyes again. It wasn't just her this time, but others sitting with her across the crowded room. I blushed and waved a little, trying to let her know I was okay, and survived the day so far. Though I was nowhere near okay on the inside. She smiled sadly and waved back, probably to make me feel less alone. I appreciated the gesture.

A boy to her left looked to her, seeming to murmur something quietly. I didn't see her reply, but he looked to me next, and I immediately looked down. I didn't like being watched, or caught looking at anyone else. It was just something that made me uncomfortable. I continued to stand there, even as most of my class had seated themselves, unfolding lunches.

I debated taking something from someone and hauling ass for the door, but I wouldn't. I'd never do anything like that. I knew what it was like not having anything to eat. I wouldn't do that to anyone else.

I turned my attention back to Mr. Daniels.

"Can I go use the restroom?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, just hurry back." I nodded and turned, clutching my bag to me and heading from the room. I looked around me in the deserted hallway, heading the opposite direction of the restrooms to outside. Pausing at a water fountain in the hall, I took several moments to drink. Hoping to calm the empty ache in my stomach just enough to survive until tomorrow. The cool water helped the pain, and soothed the nausea I felt.

Glancing up and down the hallway, I noted that I was still alone as I continued on. I slipped out the doors quietly, and darted over to the next building, hiding behind it nearest the trees. Opening my little backpack, I looked around me again, making sure I was alone before quickly taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

I smoked quickly. Downing it, so to speak. My back stayed turned to the side of the building, but my ears listened for any hint I was about to be discovered. Not picking up any, I continued. Especially after the long weekend with nothing to eat, I needed this. I closed my eyes, just taking a breather. Regathering my patience and soothing my nerves before heading back inside. After awhile, just being around so many people grated on me until I just wanted to run. The stress on me started to become too much after while, and I needed to take a few minutes to myself.

Nobody ever noticed when I scooted off on my own, so it didn't become an issue. I normally cried when I was off on my own, the deep, debilitating emptiness in my heart coming forward amidst the stress. Today was different. Today I didn't cry as much, because I was at a different school. I couldn't cry today, because I had to be on my best behavior.

It was chilly today, and the cold made my forming bruises ache.

I cuddled in my thin sweater as the rain started to pick up, thudding almost loudly as it hit me. I shivered, but continued on with my cigarette, trying to stand closer to the building where the rain wouldn't get to me. When the hot end started to get too close to my fingers, I stubbed out the cigarette on the bottom of my shoe and pinched the end between my fingers. Making sure it wasn't still hot before tossing it into the trash can in front of me.

I took a deep breath, and held it for a moment. Letting it out when I was sure I was ready to head back inside. I waved the air around me, trying to clear it of smoke. Feeling confident I'd pulled this off, I spun, ready to jog back into the building, but stopped dead in my tracks, nearly bouncing backwards with a gasp.

My heart racing, I met the eyes of a high schooler, same golden eyes as Alice, but a guy, with auburn, almost bronze colored hair. I recognized him from Alice's table. The one who'd spoken to her. I stared up at him, wide eyed. Maybe he hadn't been standing there long.

His eyes had the same piercing effect as Alice's did, but it was far more intimidating coming from him. I took another careful step back as my eyes found the one standing beside him too. He didn't look the same as the dark haired one, with his lighter dirty blonde hair, but immediately, I noted his eyes too.

I frowned a little, noticing the sense of familiarity with these guys. Just as much as I had felt toward Alice. What the hell was going on? I chose to file that question away for later, while I focused on the more pressing issue. Being caught.

The darker haired one stood on the left, while the one on the right looked even more unhappy than the first one, and at first, I didn't know what to do.

"H-Hi." I mumbled, "You scared me." I laughed a little nervously. Despite the way I tried to make my heart slow down.

"Care to explain what you were just doing?" The left one asked me quietly. For emphasis, he gestured gently to the bag on my shoulder. I chose to ignore that. His friend beside him glanced to him, but I had feeling he wouldn't be the one to talk to me. His gaze was intimidating.

"Oh, uhm.." I hesitated, looking down, "N-Nothing. Just getting some air. It's a little crowded in there."

His eyes searched my face, and I suddenly worried my concealer had come off in the slight rain. I thought of the yellowing bruise along the left side of my face, my darkening eye. Hoping he couldn't see them.

"That's not what I saw." He replied. My cheeks blushed. I knew I'd been caught, so might as well try to make this just a little better. My heart pounded, and I took slow, deep breaths. Trying to calm it.

"Okay, look." I said quietly, "I don't do this often. Just.. Just now and then."

"Now and then is often enough. How old are you?"

"Nine." I answered, my tone almost hesitant as I looked away.

"Nine years old and smoking." He shook his head, "Should I let someone know? Have them call your parents?"

I flashed my eyes to his, "No." I told him firmly, instantly trembling, "Please." I lowered my voice, "Don't tell anyone. I-I won't do it again, just please. Please don't get my parents called. Please."

He looked somewhat surprised at the fear in my voice. Studying my face closer, something of a carefully curious expression entered his eyes. Puzzled. As if he were piecing things together that I hadn't mentioned.

"Okay." He finally said with a sigh, "Give me the ones you have, and I won't tell anyone." I quickly nodded, reaching into my backpack and handing the pack over, my heart still racing. Not even caring I was handing all the ones I had over. I was just thankful, beyond thankful Jack wouldn't be called. He nodded, "Just don't do it again, alright?" I nodded.

"I won't." I said quietly, "I promise." He sighed, tossing the pack in the trash. It was quiet for a moment, until I spoke again.

"What are your names, anyway?" I asked, trying to figure these guys out. They weren't nearly as open or friendly as Alice was. The left one smirked at my question. The other stayed with a frown. Seeming puzzled.

"Edward Cullen." He replied. I nodded, looking down before glancing to the second one.

"Jasper." He gave me a nod, "Hale." Those weren't common names. I couldn't help focusing on their eyes. Like Alice's, Edward's eyes were golden. A strange golden color not commonly seen. Jasper's were darker, but somehow just as confusing.

"Leandra." I said quietly, silently debating for a moment. What could it hurt to give them my last name?

"Leandra Wallace." I finished just as quietly, "Nice to meet you. Maybe I could have done it another way, but-"

"Why do you fear your parents?" Jasper asked. His tone was both curious, and firm. Not quite commanding, but with an authority. Instantly taking my attention. He wasn't being mean with that question, but I couldn't just ignore it like I wanted to.

I still didn't know what to make of either of them, so I stayed guarded. My mind working a million miles a minute, trying to come up with an answer.

"I-I.. I don't fear them.." I mumbled, keeping my eyes away from his, "I just.. Jack, my stepdad, gets mad if he gets a call from the school and he has to leave work to come sort it out." I placed my bag back on my shoulder gently, awkwardly shoving my trembling hands into my pockets, "I don't like making him mad. That's all."

"Your stepdad." He spoke again with the same tone, "He's strict?"

"Very." I said without thinking. I instantly kicked myself, "I mean. Y-Yeah, he has rules.." I looked down awkwardly. I was bombing. Quickly. I had to fix it, "Trust me. You've never met anyone like him before."

"What about your mother?"

"She's.." I recalled her passed out drunk on the couch every day, "She's very.. Laid back."

I couldn't understand where all these personal questions were coming from, or why I bothered to answer them, but they agreed not to have Jack called. That's what mattered to me, and I wasn't afraid of them like I was always afraid of strangers. I was more comfortable than I had been all day, oddly enough.

I moved to the side, their eyes following me. I attempted to step around Jasper, and they just followed. Letting me pass, but walking along beside me. Jasper to my left, Edward to my right, as if herding me. I wasn't afraid, though. Only curious.

"Tell me about him." Jasper requested, and I glanced up at him.

"How much time do you have?" I replied quietly. I couldn't help the bitter edge to my voice. I wanted to ask him if he'd ever met Satan before, but I sighed instead, "He's taught me a lot." Understatement, but the finality of my tone had to tell him I was done talking about Jack.

I looked to Edward, "You're Alice's brother?"

"It's safe to assume." He replied. I really couldn't tell by his tone if I'd pissed him off or not, so I got a little nervous.

"Well, i-it's just.. I saw you sitting with her earlier, and you two sort of look alike, I guess.. I just thought-"

"Relax." He told me, noticing my nervous rambling, "It seems you've made quite an impression on her."

"I have?" I asked, surprised. That really surprised me. I never made an impression on anyone. I certainly wasn't trying to leave any impressions. I wasn't aware I had, "I'm sorry."

"It's not a bad thing, Leandra." He seemed confused at my nervousness. Jasper, remaining quiet, just walked along beside me.

"Oh." I murmured, looking down, "Then.. You're welcome?"

He smirked again, chuckling quietly. I was extremely out of my element. I avoided talking to anyone like the plague. I half wondered what was wrong with me today, until he spoke again.

"Are you going to eat lunch?" He asked quietly. I sighed, remembering I didn't have anything.

"No." I murmured, looking up at him, "I'm not hungry. How about you?" I smiled a little, "Do you always follow fourth graders outside?"

"Only when they go off by themselves." He chuckled slightly. I smiled a little, shaking my head. My smile faded as I realized I'd have to go back inside soon. They'd start wondering if I fell in.

"I gotta go back now." I said sadly, looking up at him. He nodded. I hated having to tell them that. It was nice having someone to talk to. It surprised me to find that it was just as easy to talk to him as it was Alice.

Despite him not being as friendly as she was. He had a carefully calm sort of air about him. Like he was listening to something I couldn't hear. It almost made me want to shut up, not wanting to interrupt him.

Jasper's presense alone was almost as calming. It was the oddest sort of emotion. Being both intimidated by him, but not minding it.

"No more smoking, alright?" Edward asked quietly.

"Alright." I agreed. At least not here. Today would be the last time I ever brought cigarettes with me on a field trip. He followed me as I changed my direction and started walking back toward the lunch room, my hands still in my pockets.

"Are you from around here?" Edward asked, following. Jasper did as well, which I was quickly learning not to mind. I liked them.

"No, I live in Sappho." I said quietly, looking over at him, "This is the only high school anywhere around, so they bussed us here. Technically, I should be going to the school here, but some of the parents thought it would be cheaper to send us to the one closer."

"Shame." He said, "There isn't much to Sappho, is there?"

"There isn't much to Forks, either." I pointed out and he allowed that with a chuckle. My small smile faded and I sighed, "I didn't even want to come on this stupid trip."

"Why not?" He asked curiously.

"I don't like new places." I explained, "But I didn't want to stay home." I instantly kicked myself again. Fuck. I just knew now he was going to ask about my shitty life at home, and I'd have to lie even more. To my surprise, he only nodded.

"So what class do you have next?" He asked instead.

"Oh, uhm.." I paused on the sidewalk, and reached into my little pack. Trying to shake off my surprise. I sighed, looking at the paper, "Biology."

He nodded again, "I'll see you there then."

I smiled a little, "If you see a girl named Rachel, trip her for me."

"Is she mean to you?" He asked, frowning a little. The second time I'd been asked that today.

"We've never gotten along." I murmured, "So the stupid teacher thought it was a good idea to put me in her group." I sighed, "She trips me one more time, she won't have a foot left to trip me with. She's just mad I socked her this morning."

He saw I was getting irritated, "Is that how you got that bruise?" He asked, pointing to the left of my face. I blushed again, looking down. My eyes involuntarily widened, and my heart sped up.

"Uh.." Should I say yes? "No, that.." I couldn't think of anything. My panicked mind stayed blank. I reached up and touched it gently with my fingers. Nobody had ever asked about my bruises before. Nobody had ever even acknowledged that they'd seen any of them before. I didn't know how to react now that someone had. My stupid mind wouldn't come up with anything but the truth. Jack's fist.

Edward seemed to stiffen again, but I ignored it.

"You don't have to answer." He said. I picked up something of a hidden meaning in his words. Something he wasn't saying. Despite that, my panic slowly began to ease. I still trembled subtly, and my hand lowered.

"Yeah." I sighed, "So.. See you in a bit then." I tried to smile up at him, but his eyes seemed angry. I subtly put distance between him and I, not sure what to expect. What had I done to piss him off?

"Yeah." He said, turning and walking into the cafeteria. Jasper's eyes lingered on me for a moment, before he followed Edward. Just leaving me there, confused and worried.

I watched after them for a few seconds, half considering going back for another cigarette, but I decided against it. I'd been gone for too long as it was. I doubted anyone would care what I'd been doing, but I didn't want to risk it.

I shook my head, making my way back inside after them. I was half worried I'd made Edward mad by not answering, but oh well. I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't tell anyone the truth. I was still in complete shock over the fact that he saw the bruise I tried to cover up. Never, in all of my school career, had anyone ever seen it. Any of them.

I suddenly thought back to this morning. My wish. I'd wished that someone would look close enough to see the pain I was in. I'd wished someone wouldn't buy my lies.

Maybe today was different.

What with the dream this morning, how much I hated waking up. Add this on, it only created an even stranger mystery. Did this mean that these people wouldn't accept my assurances that I was okay?

That thought scared me, despite how hard I'd wished for it. It scared me, because I sure as hell didn't know what to expect, should they insist. Seeing me wasn't saving me. It was ensuring more pain if they ever told anyone.

I stepped into the bathroom, looking over my face in the mirror. The concealer had stayed, almost completely covering the bruise. It confused me as to how he managed to know it was there, when I almost never gave him direct sight of my cheek. How he'd seen it wasn't the issue, though. The issue was that he had.

Who would he tell? Was he so upset that he'd run to a teacher and tell them to ask me about it? Would Jack be called? Would he be told that I had told someone? My heart sank at that thought.

Despite my efforts to hold it back, I started to cry. My breath coming in quiet, panicked gasps, I cried gently in fear. My legs trembled, threatening to give out, so I held tightly to the sink.

Just the thought of Jack finding out I told anyone, caused fear to race through me. My heart pounded a million miles a minute, and I knew I had to calm down. I couldn't walk back into the cafeteria like this.

I calmed myself slightly with the thought that when I saw him next class, I'd have to explain where the bruise came from. That would divert his suspicion, and it would keep him quiet. Keeping him quiet was the number one priority right now. My life depended on it.

But.. What if he didn't wait until next class?

That got my feet moving. I scooted from the bathroom as fast as I could, my panic renewed. Left over tears still on my cheeks. I had to find him now. It couldn't wait.

I had two minutes to come up with an excuse, before I made it to his table. I fell, I ran into a pole, I got hit by a car, a goddamn bear mauled me, just keep your damn mouth shut!

I took a deep breath, holding it before letting it out. I had to calm down. What was believable? I was standing outside a door, and someone came through it really quickly. They apologized repeatedly, and I had to swear that it was okay, and accept five dollars from them before they'd shut up. Yes.

To my relief, he was sitting there when I walked in. They all were. Despite the way I recognized three of the five sitting there, I was still nervous. Would they mind me going over there? I took the long way around, my breathing still racing as I made my way closer. Their eyes on me as if I were crazy as I stepped to Edward's side. Confused, he looked at me.

For a moment, it hit me. I wasn't even taller than Edward with him sitting down. I hated how small I was. Shaking that off, I sighed and got back to what I needed to say.

"I ran into a door." I mumbled with finality.

"You ran into a door?" He asked, "Lovely. Nice to know."

"No.. I mean.. The door kind of.. Ran into me."

"I'm not following you."

"That's how I got.. This." I murmured, touching my cheek briefly, and understanding came to his eyes. Which I was thankful for, as I hated getting the feeling he questioned my sanity, "So.. Yeah. That's how I got it. A door hit me."

"You came all the way over here to tell me that?" He seemed surprised.

"Yeah." I panted, "I just.. Didn't want you to tell anyone about it.. Because you're kind of the only one who's ever noticed it, and-"

"Not true." Alice's voice had me look to her, "I noticed it. I just didn't ask about it." I looked to her side, to Jasper seated close to her. A blush came to my cheeks as I looked at the other two looking my way. The very large guy across the table had an amused smirk on his face, the blonde looked annoyed.

"Um.." I mumbled, suddenly very intimidated and I looked to Edward again, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Relax." Edward told me, "I wasn't going to."

"She sure is a shaky little thing." The large one smirking chuckled, "I wish she'd come to my class."

"Emmett.." Alice scolded, "Stop."

"You weren't going to?" I asked quietly, half afraid to hope, "You're not going to now, are you?"

"No." He said, "I won't tell anyone. Although, maybe I should-"

"No." I whimpered, my breath catching, "Please. I-I'll be more careful. I promise. I won't stand near any doors. No doors. I won't even walk through them." My words came out quickly, panicked, "I'll stay away from them forever, if you just shut up."

I was stared at, concern around the table. Even the smirking guy's smirk faded, and I sighed. Trembling from head to toe. That was something that couldn't happen.

"Jack can't know." I murmured quietly, "Please just forget about it." Edward was quiet for a moment, glancing to the side at the others, "I don't know how you saw it, but it really is nothing."

"Did he put that there?" He gestured to my face.

"No." I said instantly, "I ran into a door. I mean.." I sighed, "You know what I mean." He didn't buy it. I saw the difference immediately. Between the ones that only went as far as asking me if I was okay, and Edward's suspicious gaze now.

I held his gaze, hoping that helped me. I wouldn't say another word unless he did, as he was clearly waiting for me to continue denying it. What he didn't understand, was I was trying to protect my life. That wasn't something I took lightly.

Before I could even concentrate on what that thought meant, I saw his expression change ever-so-slightly. Not enough to identify what it was his emotion had changed to, but enough to see.

"You say I'm the only one ever to notice?" Edward asked finally, "Nobody has ever noticed?"

"No." I replied shakily, "Nobody." He was quiet, "Because there's nothing to notice. I just didn't want you to think the wrong thing." Nailed it. I still amazed myself at how I was able to lie. If Edward knew how right he was, I was a gonner.

"Alright." He told me, "I won't say a word about the door hitting you." The way he worded that worried me instead of comforted me, "Can you tell me more about where you live in Sappho?" My previous slight relief was squashed immediately. There was only one reason he'd need to ask where I lived.

There were rules I followed. Rules I knew well, as it was a requirement. One, don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. Two, don't look at anyone for too long. Looking at them just opens me up for trouble. Three, never give away where exactly I live.

That third rule was one placed by Jack, but I edited it a little. Never telling anyone where the house was meant safety for me, and for whoever wanted to know as well. If I could keep one less person from knowing what kind of hell I lived in, or meeting Jack, I'd do whatever it took.

"Way across town." I said after only seconds, "Behind the last gas station before you hit the highway. In that little group of houses there." A complete lie. I glanced behind me, "I gotta go. Just.. Don't tell anyone. Please. It's really nothing."

Please, I thought. Just let him agree. I just needed his agreement that he wouldn't say anything to anyone about anything. That's all I wanted. I didn't need my life more complicated.

"I won't." He sighed. As if he really didn't want to agree to that.

"Thank you." I sighed as well. Even if he didn't want to agree, he agreed. That's all I needed, "I'll quit bothering you guys now." I pursed my lips, glancing around before I got moving. Hoping my heart calmed down before I got to my class' table.

Should I have stayed? Made sure he didn't tell anyone? That could have been a bad idea, considering I seemed to just keep getting myself into more trouble.

"Leandra." I glanced back at Alice's call, "Wait."

I waited, watching her dance around the table, and came to stand in front of me. She held her hand up and offered something to me. My eyes widened at what it was, and I looked up at her. I shook my head slowly, refusing the apple she offered. As much as it bothered me to.

"I can't." I murmured, "Really. Thank you, but it's yours."

"I want you to have it." She insisted, "It's okay." I was tempted. I really was, and I probably would have taken it had Mr. Daniels not called to me.

"Leandra." He called behind me, "There you are. It's about time to go." I looked around, noticing the population in the cafeteria had thinned out.

"I can't. I have to go." I told her, "Thank you, though. Really." Her gesture had nearly brought tears to my eyes. I bit them back as I turned.

"Leandra." She spoke again, and I glanced up at her again, "I worry."

"Don't." I replied, "You shouldn't. Not about someone like me."

Before I could cry in front of her, I turned again, and hurriedly made my way to Mr. Daniels' side. Sitting down with a quiet sniffle.

"I saw that girl trying to give you something to eat." Rachel called from the side, "What? Wasn't your lunch enough? Have to take others too? What a hippo."

I looked down, feeling that edge of my patience coming even closer. I glanced behind me at Alice now back at her table. Jasper's arm around her as she spoke quietly, her eyes on me as well. They were getting ready to go, gathering their stuff, probably to make it to their next classes ahead of time.

"I never took it." I said, looking forward again, "So shut your face."

"Too good for other people's food now?" She countered. I chose not to reply. If I would have acknowledged her comment, I would have burst into tears, and started beating on her as I did so.

This day was proving challenging to me, and we'd only just finished lunch.

Watching as Alice and Edward's group left their table behind, and started toward the door. Alice still in Jasper's embrace, I sniffled again. I half looked forward to seeing Edward next class, but I was also very nervous about it.

I'd be in the same room with him, giving him a chance to look at my bruise some more. If only he knew that wasn't the only one on me. He'd for sure freak out if he knew about the others. I wouldn't be able to talk him out of telling anyone about the others.

I frowned, watching his steps falter a bit on his way by a few tables away. I wondered if he was okay, worried now. I eventually shook it off, watching after him and his group, figuring he probably just stumbled over a backpack someone left on the floor. I'd done that before.

We followed them not long after. The groups once more splitting up once the bell rang. Leaving my group to head into the next building to visit the biology class. Mr. Daniels paused outside a door, opening it slowly for us. The rumbling of talking slowly died as we made our way in, the class' eyes on us. I looked around at all the eyes watching us. As with every other class, some looked happy to see us, others looked annoyed.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Wincing a little, and choosing to just rub my right eye instead. My stomach growled, reminding me what I'd just missed as we waited.

We stood at the front, again waiting for the class to get into their groups. I met Edward's eyes and smiled a bit. I waved, and he returned it. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rachel's eyes on me.

I was chosen first this time, and of all the groups, Edward's was the one that got me. I walked over almost happily. I chose the seat beside another boy, closest to the wall. Settling into the chair slowly, I looked up.

"Hi again, Leandra." Edward greeted me almost loudly. I looked over at Rachel's wide eyed expression at witnessing Edward calling me by name. I almost burst out laughing as I pictured her imploding in jealousy.

"Hi, Edward." I replied, turning and smiling back at him.

I kneeled up in the middle of the chair, my elbows on the table. I found this position felt better, ensuring my back stayed away from the hard plastic back of the chair.

Unfortunately, Rachel was in the group just beside mine, our chairs only inches apart. I scowled at the table as she shoved my chair out of the way, nearly dumping me out of it, so she could pull hers out directly behind me.

"Jesus, fat-ass." I yelped, looking back at her, "Calm down over there. The cake is down the hall." Both of our groups started laughing as she glared at me.

"A-At least I own more than one shirt." She snapped back at me.

"Too bad they're all size 'Tent'." More laughter around us. Even Edward was smirking at the look on her face, "Aww hey, don't get mad." I said, laughing a little myself, "It'll be okay. They'll make more fabric one day, and your mom can take you shopping again."

"At least I don't need my brother to say hi to me to try and make people jealous." She huffed. I looked confused at Edward before looking back at her. She thought he was my brother? I mean sure, we did have the same hair color, but that was it.

"I don't have a brother, sasquach." I told her, "We don't even look alike."

"Sure." She drew out the word, and again, I wanted to hit her.

"Really," I laughed, "I'm an only child."

"See? Even what siblings you could have had can't stand to be around you." Okay, that stung a bit. I almost told her it was because my stepdad preferred me over my mom that way, just to see what she said to that, but I bit my tongue. Instead of replying to what she said, I just rolled my eyes and turned back to the table. She grinned in triumph and sat down.

I righted my chair when she was seated, tucking it in more. I wouldn't want a brother from Jack anyway. No doubt he'd be spoiled rotten, and be just like him. I didn't need another Jack in my life. One was more than enough.

I sighed, looking up and around.

"So.." I said, "Biology." Edward looked angry again, but I didn't point it out. A girl beside him smiled my way.

"I'm Bella." She said, reaching her hand across the table. I reached out and shook it. The stretching motion set my back into a deep, throbbing pain, but I ignored it the best I could.

"Leandra." I said.

"You're pretty quick with those come-backs." The boy sitting to my left said. I laughed bitterly, shaking my head.

"I just can't stand that..." I gestured over my shoulder. I laid my weight on my arms, and scooted the chair closer to the table with my feet, still kneeled in it. She shoved her chair back, having heard what I said. I winced heavily as the motion shoved my chair forward, slamming my ribs into the table in front of me and pinning me there. I lost my breath for a second, wincing hard in pain.

"That hurt, you stupid fucking cow!" I snarled back at her when I recovered, spinning as much as I could, "Back up before I knock your goddamn teeth out." I ignored the shocked eyes on us now, having gained the attention of the entire class.

"Leandra." Mr. Daniels scolded me from across the room, "Watch the language."

"Yeah, Leandra." Rachel told me, "Watch the language. I'm awfully sorry if that hurt. I just forgot you were there." Her tone was dripping with false innocence. Slowly, painfully slowly, she scooted her chair in, and I pushed mine back, whimpering as I did so.

"Here." Bella offered, starting to clear off the area of the table against the wall, "Sit up here-"

"No." I said quietly, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded.

"She knows if she does it again, I'll beat her ass." She laughed in response.

"You wouldn't dare." She said, looking back at me, "We both know that I won that fight this morning. You cried like a baby for like an hour. So you can just deal with it." I grit my teeth and looked down.

"I only cried because your stench makes me want to puke. You should try showering once in awhile." That shut her up. Gasping offendedly, she turned forward again.

"Okay," The boy beside me laughed, "You are officially my favorite fourth grader."

"Thanks." I muttered, keeping my eyes down. I didn't like insulting others. Normally, it made me feel as bad as I was trying to make them feel, but if she was going to insult me, I wasn't going to take it lying down.

I looked up across the table, spotting Edward watching me closely. I quickly looked back down, sighing heavily. I turned my head to the side, hiding that side of my face from his gaze. The wall across the room suddenly became so incredibly fascinating.

"I do shower." Rachel grumbled behind me, regaining my attention.

"No, no." I said, "The objective here is to shower more than once a week. Otherwise, you start smelling like a moose. Hence, my point earlier." Again, both groups laughed, and I turned forward again.

"Yeah," Rachel said, "I guess you're right. Who on earth would ever want to smell like your mom?" She shuddered, and her group laughed louder than they had before. That had hit a nerve.

"Ouch." The boy beside me chuckled, shaking his head. My cheeks blushed, and I glared at the table.

"What?" Rachel asked among the laughter, "No come-back?"

"Leandra?" Edward's voice had me look up, my cheeks burning in embarrassment. I couldn't speak yet, as I was seconds away from turning around and hitting her.

"Back to work, guys." The high school teacher said, having made his way over, "Come on. Stop arguing." I took a deep breath, calming down enough to speak.

"Yeah. Let's get off of the subject of moms." I mumbled, "I can't say anything about Rachel's mom." I turned, looking at her.

"That's right." She grinned.

"I don't even know the man." I finished, and the look on her face was priceless.

The deafening laughter that resulted from every group made me feel a little better.

**A/N: And again, yes. This is about the same, but be prepared, beautiful readers. It does change.  
*Insert evil laughter here*  
I know I'm releasing this directly after the first chapter, but it's because I want to get you guys to the change. :D  
Anyhoo. Hope you enjoyed this one, and on to three.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPORTANT NOTE: This fic is rated M for adult themes. This chapter isn't for the faint of heart. It's not very descriptive, but you'll get the point. Just don't say I didn't give you a heads up. Kay? Kay. On we go.**

**Chapter Three**

After I shut Rachel up with that come-back, she didn't talk to me again.

The hour seemed to go by too quickly. I was actually liking this lesson, despite the fact that Rachel sat inches from me. It was nice having kids to talk to, even if I chose not to speak that often. I was quickly starting to realize that I got along better with older kids than I did kids my age.

Sitting there listening to them, I focused on a strand of my hair. Holding it between my hands, my elbows on the table. I considered cutting my hair when I went home that day, just so it'd be harder for Jack to catch a hold of.

It was a hard decision to make, as I knew that when I screwed it up, Rachel would have a field day with the insults. Should I make my life easier at home, just to make my life harder at school? Or should I leave my hair the way it was?

No contest. I'd cut it when I got home. Jack would be mad, but when wasn't he?

Fifteen minutes in, however, Rachel began throwing things at me. The first three times, I ignored it. They were just little pieces of paper. Nothing worth getting upset over.

The fourth time, fifteen minutes until the end of the lesson, it was a piece of paper soaked in spit. I spun and slapped her across the back of her head, letting her know that shit wouldn't fly.

"I'm telling!" She gasped, her hand massaging the back of her head. Nobody commented. Despite her threat, though, she didn't get up.

"Go ahead, mammoth." I spat, "Don't spit on me."

"I didn't spit on you, stupid." She said, "I spit on the paper."

"And you threw the paper at me. It's the same thing, and it's incredibly gross." I grumbled, rolling my eyes, "I get enough shit at home. I don't need you adding to it." I instantly shut up, not even breathing. Going quiet once I realized I'd admitted too much. I blushed, looking around at all the eyes on me, "So, uh.."

"Yeah." Mike, the boy sitting beside me said, looking back down at the text book. Obviously wanting to just drop it. The typical reaction. I was used to that. I was used to people avoiding the subject at all costs.

"What kind of crap?" Edward spoke up. I looked at him, hoping it wasn't the question I feared it was, "What kind of treatment do you get at home?" Everyone's eyes were on me as they waited for my answer. That was something I wasn't used to. Someone actually asking. Especially the way he asked.

"I-Well, uh.." I was quiet for a few seconds. I was trying to come up with some stupid excuse about how an only child had too many chores, when Rachel decided to comment.

"Her mom probably hits her." Rachel turned around in her chair, "Even her own mom doesn't want her." My face flushed hotly, and my heart beat sped up in anger. Instantly, I was trembling. She was wrong about the first part, but the second part hit home.

I wanted to hit her so badly, and I glanced up. Noticing Edward's eyes directly on me. I wanted to hit her so bad, but my clenched hands on the table relaxed.

"No she doesn't." I finally said. I was actually answering her second statement, agreeing with her, but she took that as further argument.

"I bet she does." Rachel laughed, "Nobody wants you, Leandra."

It was odd, and even through my anger I realized that. I'd just been faced with a decision. A life altering one that would send me one way, or another, depending fully on what I chose to do in this moment. It wasn't so much a knowledge, but a feeling. An instinctive feeling that I felt in my stomach.

Do one thing, get one result. Do another, get a completely different result.

"Leandra?" Edward spoke quietly, trying to gain my attention. Trying to calm me down, obviously, but it wouldn't work this time.

I sat there for a few seconds longer, trembling. Until finally, I pushed myself up so suddenly, my chair scraped loudly on the floor. Rachel cringed just a bit, watching as I stepped around her, and strode straight for the door.

I was tired, and after that dream this morning, I was done.

From what I could remember, the very vague details, I'd dreamed I was wanted. I didn't know what that felt like before, but now that I knew, it hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt to let it go. I'd lost _everything_, and here was Rachel, hurting me even more.

I'd found my limit, and as much as I wanted to punch her stupid face in, I couldn't. Besides that, I was seconds away from crying like a baby, and I didn't want to give the bitch the satisfaction of seeing it.

"Leandra?" Mr. Daniels asked after me, too far from the door to stop me physically. I slammed the door behind myself, heading up the hall.

Until I couldn't move anymore, and I could no longer hold back the emotion. Her words had hurt more than I could ever begin to describe. I stopped when I could no longer see where I was going, stepping back to the wall, and sliding carefully down to sit against it. The pain in my back only made me cry harder. Reminding me that no matter what it felt like, it had only been a dream. Just a stupid dream that was making me cry now. Hours later.

Mr. Daniels followed me out a short few seconds later, finding me easily.

"Leandra?" He asked, squatting down in front of me, "What happened?" I couldn't speak. Only cry harder. My eyes could hardly open to look at him. Tears spilled from my eyes too quickly to clear my vision, and it wasn't stopping.

Why couldn't anyone see me? It wasn't fair. I'd had enough. I was so busy, striving so hard to make everybody's life easier by keeping my mouth shut. I was protecting Jack, even though it was clearly involuntary, but what about me? I was tired of struggling, of making his life easier while I worked my ass off for more pain.

I'd lost so much. I'd lost too much, and this wasn't at all like it should be. I was scared, alone, and I didn't have what I needed to change that. I sobbed, my quiet cry echoing in the hallway.

Laying my head back, I hit it against the wall. Squeezing my eyes shut.

After a few minutes of waiting for me to calm down, and finding me unable to, Mr. Daniels sighed and stood. Taking my hand, he stood me up.

"I'm going to call your parents." He informed me, "I think you should go home." I couldn't blame him, but all that news did was make me cry harder. I knew what this meant.

Jack was the kind of person nobody wanted to cross. Not ever. He was tall, strong. Respectable looking guy, but had a firm personality that intimidated everyone he came across. Maybe it was just me, but he could intimidate me with just a glance. Not even looking directly at me.

He was handsome. Not even that old, really. Only two years older than my mom's thirty years. Nobody would ever suspect he had such a secret.

He had a way of changing faces at will. Honest, open one minute, sadistic the next. His eyes were a clear, dark ice blue that stayed a constant glare when they were on me. His dark brown hair never seemed out of place.

Jack was the kind of person who got what he wanted. Every time, mostly without much effort on his part. He could lie, and sometimes I couldn't even tell if he believed what he said as a lie or not. Not one thing could give him away. Not his voice, not his eyes, and definitely not the way he laughed. I'd only seen him have to lie only a handful of times. He very rarely let anyone look at me too long when I was with him.

Sitting there, waiting for him to make the trip through town to get me, I had a feeling I would see that again today. Mr. Daniels waited with me, trying to get me to talk about what happened back in the classroom, but I wouldn't say a word. I was far too afraid to.

I knew when Jack got there, glancing up as Mr. Daniels noticed him approaching. Standing from his seat beside me, he watched out the front office window.

Jack greeted him with a very tense smile, stepping into the building. Fear had my heart speed up, but I kept my eyes on the multi-colored carpet.

"I'm sorry you had to be called down here, Mr. Wallace." Mr. Daniels kept his voice quiet, even as I felt Jack's eyes on me. I hardly moved, even to breathe.

"Me too." Jack replied, "What'd she do this time?"

"From what I understand, one of her classmates upset her." He answered, "She's not in any trouble, but I think she should be allowed to go home. I think she's just having a hard day."

"That happens." Jack chuckled understandingly. His tone was easy. Only giving away a slight bit of his annoyance. Only to me, as I knew what to listen for.

"I'm so glad you understand." Mr. Daniels replied, "I hope she feels better soon."

"Come on." Jack sighed, gesturing at me, "Let's go." I sniffled roughly, climbing to my feet immediately. I knew better than to hesitate. Hesitating would only worsen my punishment. I was to do as I was told the moment I was told to do it. That's how it worked. That's how it always worked.

Before we could leave, however, we were both stopped in the doorway by Edward. Standing on the other side of it. I looked up at him with a quiet gasp, startled into looking up. Normally, I didn't bother when I was with Jack. Tears slipped from my eyes even as I looked up at him. He looked from Jack, back down to me.

I looked down after just a second. Suddenly very afraid of what would happen if Jack even suspected I'd made a friend. No. No, that couldn't happen. I prayed Edward wouldn't say anything friendly to me. Just to save me the pain later.

"You left this behind." Edward told me, holding my bag up. I didn't know what to say. I looked up at him again, glancing to Jack briefly.

"Well?" Jack prompted me, "What do you say?"

Reaching up, I slowly took it.

"T-Thank you." I mumbled, pulling it to me. I looked down again as Jack squeezed me into his side. Such a false display, as he was actually hurting me. He was tense, I could feel that. He was unhappy, very much so, and I had no doubts about what would happen once we were at home. Maybe this time, I wouldn't wake up.

I found myself actually hoping.

"She's _very_ forgetful." Jack spoke firmly to Edward, "Thank you for bringing it for her." With that, he pulled me along, around Edward and his suddenly distrusting gaze. I felt it following us up the hall, and before we left the building, I looked back. Meeting his eyes one last time.

That last moment, that last glance was all it took. It suddenly clicked, my memories of the dream I had the night before. As vague and as dim as they were, almost like they were afraid of the present, I realized with a sharp drop of my heart that I knew Edward. I'd dreamed about him. About Alice, and even tense Jasper. Even the other two, even if I'd never officially met them yet.

I'd seen them before, but nowhere before today.

I didn't remember anything else about what I'd dreamed, but I knew him. I knew Jasper, and I knew Alice. That was where I'd recognized them from. That moment, that instant realization seemed to make time slow down for me. My thoughts rushing through my mind faster than I was used to.

My mind struggled, fought hard to remove the fog and see what I should be able to remember, but it was nearly impossible to with Jack tugging me up the hall toward the door. Part of me understood that something had just changed, but focusing on that was hard.

I kept my eyes on Edward for as long as I could, trying to figure this out. I'd never seen him before, that was clear, but I was absolutely positive that he, and the others, had been in that dream I woke from just this morning.

I managed just one glimpse of Edward's eyes widening in understanding, before we were outside. Practically running across the parking lot to his truck. As if instinct, those thoughts and that realization moved quickly to the back of my mind. Carefully stashed away for later. I had more pressing issues to focus on at the moment. Like what would happen when we got home.

I managed to climb in on my own, thankfully, sniffling as I closed the door behind myself. Jack didn't have to grab my shirt and pull me up.

"Get in the back." He told me once he was in, and for once, he didn't yell at me. Despite that, I got moving. Climbing over the center console, and landing in the back bench seat of his truck. Stepping on a few old food wrappers and empty cigarette packs as I did so.

As soon as I was on the seat, he started the truck, moving before I was even really settled. Glancing out the window, I noticed Edward now stood in the doorway, watching us leave. The fact that I'd dreamed about him confused me. Why would I dream about him or Alice when I'd never met them before today?

It had definitely been him, though. I was sure of it. Edward or Alice weren't the type of people easily confused with someone else.

I wished I could thank him. Even if I didn't die today, I doubted deeply that I'd ever get the chance to see him again. Or Alice. I'd remember them, though. I had no clue if I'd ever get the answers to my questions, but I wouldn't forget them. For showing me the kindness they really didn't have to.

The moment we stopped in front of the house, I knew the routine. I knew things had just slid from calm tension to survival. We were out of public now. This was where things got interesting.

Climbing from the truck as quickly as I could, I slammed the door shut, and I ran. Over the overgrown yard. I listened to Jack shut his door, and I knew I'd better move faster.

I jogged up the steps to the small porch. On the way up the steps, I heard him directly behind me. Throwing open the door, I didn't even manage two running steps toward my room before the door slammed shut behind us as he lifted me off my feet with one arm. His other hand balling in my hair and yanking my head back. I cried out a sob, the pain resounding loudly through me.

Both my welts, and my head protesting agonizingly.

"What have I told you about running?" He growled into my ear, "Especially from me?"

"I'm sorry." I instantly cried, "It won't- Ow! It won't happen again."

"How'd the field trip go?" I knew what he was really asking, "Why was I called?"

"It went good." I answered immediately, "I was good."

"Why don't I believe you?" He asked quietly. He squeezed me tighter, until I gave a coughing cry, sobs shaking me.

"Some little bitch in my class made fun of mom." I explained tearfully, "Instead of hitting her, I left." He didn't reply right away, "Because I knew that would just cause more problems. I didn't mean to have you called. I swear."

I waited with bated breath, waiting for what he'd decide to do.

"Jack," I finally had to say, "It's hard to breathe." He chuckled, and for a moment, I thought I'd just made it worse, but when he let me down onto my feet, I stumbled a bit.

"Go to your room." He told me, and I obeyed. Not running, like I wanted to, but forcing myself to move slowly. With that, we'd gone back into the calm tension. I knew it wouldn't last, however, and at any second, it could turn back into survival. For now, I'd escaped.

I didn't have many clothes, but I needed to wash the clothes I'd worn on Thursday before tomorrow, and I didn't want to ruin the clothes I wore today with the inevitable fight later, so I took them off. Pulling on the one thin pajama tank-top I did have. It was thin, very thin and bloodstained, but it was something. I'd given up wearing pajama pants, because they always tore. Though I longed for more coverage, I hardly ever got anything new to wear, so I had to protect what clothes I did have.

Around the house, things were both harder, and easier than at school.

Around the house, I didn't have to bother hiding the bruises. The only ones that would ever see them was me, or Jack, making it easier on me. Harder by the fact that at any second, I could get more. Nobody ever came around to wonder why there was a half-naked kid running around the house. Out here, nobody ever bothered us.

During the day, it was easier, but I could feel it. Knowing the storm was brewing, but helpless to stop it. Something I would do or say would piss him off, and I'd be right back on the floor. Crying my eyes out as pain rolled through me. Exactly like the night before.

That was how it always was. Sometimes, when the bruising got too bad, he'd leave me alone for a few days. It was never bad enough to avoid the slap upside the head, or man-handling, but it was enough to avoid the belt. Or rope, or whatever else he chose to use on me. Hurt just as much, if not more, but did less damage than his boots or fists.

After washing my clothing selection in the bathtub, and hanging them up to dry stiffly before the morning, my next task was homework if I had any. Since I didn't have any, my next choice was cleaning up the house.

I wandered through the living room and the kitchen, picking up bottles and throwing them into a bag. Empty cigarette packs, and empty fast food boxes and paper bags that Jack decided looked best on the floor went into another bag. It was far easier to sort this stuff now instead of later. If I didn't pick these things up, it stayed. And I usually got into trouble for it.

Since I was doing as I should be, Jack stayed in the bedroom. Probably resting since he had the rest of the day off. Gaining energy for later, when he'd take all the money he lost from those hours he could be working from my hide. After I got done with this, I'd be doing the same. I never got much sleep at night. This calm before the storm was the best time to snooze.

Looking over, I noticed my mom still laying right there. Right on the couch where I'd left her. My heart broke at just the sight.

"Mom, wake up." I called, "Go to bed already. Jesus." I wandered over, laying the bag of trash on the floor. She didn't budge, so I grabbed her wrist and tugged. She only woke a little. Enough to fight from my grip and lay back down.

"Mom." I called again, gaining no response other than her snoring starting back up thirty seconds later. Mother of the year, for sure.

"Mom!" I called louder, almost screaming the word, "Get up!" I was getting fed up. Fast.

I finally gave up, shaking my head and beginning to cry. I knew if she even did get up, she'd hurt herself trying to get to the bedroom anyway. I allowed myself to cry for thirty seconds before choosing to just keep moving. I gathered the fourteen empty bottles around the coffee table, the clanking sound in the bag loud as I tossed them in.

I sighed and wandered into my bedroom once the bag of paper trash was full and tied. There was a reason Jack gave me this room. Outside my bedroom window, was a small dog run. An almost rectangular covered cage, which had a locked door on it. Since we didn't own a dog, there was one use for it that Jack saw fit to use. Inside that dog run, nearly up to the glass of my bedroom window, was a pile of trash waiting to be burned.

That's where it stayed, since there was never any trash pick-up out this way, so it was up to me to get rid of it somehow.

The glass bottles, of course, didn't burn, but everything else did, so that went into its own separate bag. I'd learned long ago that it was faster to separate them before they were tossed outside, and bag them up for Jack to take into town. He never beat me for the bags of glass bottles I'd drop into the back of his truck. They'd just be gone when I came back with another bag another day. An unspoken sort of deal.

I hadn't burned in awhile, not feeling up to it, but if I didn't soon, I'd regret it later. Not today, however, and I tossed the bag of paper trash out the window. Watching it land on the pile, and I closed my window again. It would be difficult to escape when an attempt at climbing out the window would land me waist deep in old trash.

In the adjoining bedroom, however, that window was unblocked. So if I ever were tempted to escape, I'd just use that room instead of my own. I hadn't done it yet, though. Freedom wasn't an issue. If I wanted it that badly, and if I knew I could get away with it, I just wouldn't come home from school. Jack trusted me, however. He knew I wasn't stupid, and I'd be back. Just like I always was. Just like I was trained to as a small child.

Once my window was closed, I sighed. Crawling over the metal bars of the footboard and laid down on my bed. Curling into my caseless pillow, on the bare mattress. Hating my life, and everyone in it as I closed my eyes.

As I laid there, I hesitantly thought back to the mystery of before.

Why would I dream about the five of them if I'd never seen them before? Dreams, I knew, were just things you experienced thrown together into movies played while you slept. That's it. This was different. I had never seen them before. I'd never met them, or even heard their names. Yet, I felt like I did know them. I didn't know what the dream was, as I couldn't remember events, but they were there. All of them.

My conscious mind told me this was impossible. The part of me living now, in this hell hole, reminded me that this was real. However, another part of me, insisted I wasn't supposed to be here. That this was the fake thing, and I wasn't meant to be here.

I questioned my sanity, yawned, and I fell asleep. Knowing full well that until I figured this out, I would wonder about it.

I didn't hear from Jack until much later in the afternoon. Passed evening, and closer to night. The way he called my name now told me that he was upset about something, but if I didn't go to him, I'd be in worse trouble.

My day was far from over.

He stood there in the living room, beside the coffee table as I came to stand in front of him. Feeling very vulnerable in my limited clothing. My mom still laid right there on the couch, but I could see she was waking up enough to move to the bedroom. Still asleep, but no longer unconscious.

"Why the _fuck_," His tone scared me, "Was I just called by someone asking to speak to you?" His tone was more pissed than it had been in a long while. My body tensed, waiting for the signal to run.

"I-I-"

"I thought I made it specifically _clear_ never to talk to anyone." He interrupted, "I did, didn't I?"

"W-Who was it?" He was quiet. His eyes narrowed a bit. I could sense it. I'd just made a very stupid mistake, and I'd pushed my luck. My luck had just come to an end.

"It doesn't fucking matter who the hell it was." He finally growled, "I told you what would happen if anyone knew you were alive enough to bother me with stupid shit like this."

"I didn't tell anyone anything." I moved a step back.

"Then why the fuck would they call?" He demanded harshly, and I looked down.

"I really don't know." I replied quietly, shaking my head, "I swear, I didn't say a word."

Things suddenly snapped.

He got moving, straight for me, and as a repeat of the night before, I spun with a squeak and raced away. He followed me with a loud growl of anger, his eyes on me. Watching as I slammed through my bedroom door and shoved it shut behind me.

I'd effectively just trapped myself. Why couldn't I learn?

I slammed by back against the door, bracing my feet on the rough carpet. Hoping to just be strong enough to hold it shut. Squeezing my eyes shut, I whimpered. Waiting for it.

I yelped as he pushed it open easily and I jumped forward.

He stormed in and I ducked around him. My heart pounding quickly, darting passed him back out of the room. I felt his quick swipes for me, which only fueled me into nearly tripping in my haste. I was terrified, and for once, felt none of the new bruises.

I raced from the room, through the kitchen. My goal was the back door, but I didn't make it that far. His arm circled me, and he yanked me to a stop. Lifting me with one arm easily, much like he had before. I grunted, losing my breath as he whipped me around. Dragging me back through the kitchen, straight back toward my room. All while speaking.

"I warned you." He told me in a loud, firm voice, "I warned you. How many times have I told you how much I _hate_ it when you run from me?"

I kicked free in the short hallway outside my room, darting away from him as he attempted to adjust his hold. I fell as he released me, but literally clawed my way back to my feet and I ran.

He followed quickly. I flew across the darkening living room, and I scrambled this time for the front door. I'd had enough. The pure terror pulsing through me with each quick pound of my heart. I had just touched the doorknob when he lifted me again. My cries only got louder now. An urgent, breathless cry of denial clawing up my throat.

He held me easily, returning the both of us to my room. With his free hand, he slammed my bedroom door closed.

"How many times do I have to prove how stupid it is to fight?" Jack asked, a quiet chuckle in his voice. He'd learned long ago that speaking quietly to me was just as effective at scaring me as shouting was. Took a lot less effort, for just as much fear.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed out breathlessly, unable to keep my eyes open. I was too afraid, too scared to move now.

"Not yet you aren't." He sighed sadly, "Not yet."

"No, I'm sorry." I repeated, "I'm really sorry. Really, _really_ sorry."

"Are you correcting me now?" My heart dropped, and I gasped for breath. Worn out from my fight, he seemed to sense it.

"No." I replied immediately, "No. I'm not."

A beating wouldn't do this time.

The rain poured down hard that night. Pouring down roughly in buckets. The sound of it hitting the house was the only thing I let myself concentrate on. Another sense of numbness, the same one I felt during the dream, wrapped me up in itself, and refused to let go. That was nothing new.

The light outside gone, I laid there in the dark with him for a few minutes. I hated, absolutely hated the dark. Everytime he decided this punishment instead of beating me, it always happened at night. In the dark.

I wasn't allowed a lamp or light in my room. None whatsoever, so when it got dark, was when I knew to fear. The kind of dark that left nothing visible. The suffocating darkness that made all the other senses work twice as hard.

Which was why I had a petrifying fear of the dark.

I was terrified of the dark, but not for reasons other kids had. Jack knew this, and for that reason, refused to let me have any sort of light in my room. No lamps, no candles or anything that would illuminate the room.

Aside from his breathing, it was silent in the room now. I didn't speak, I didn't even move. I was always petrified afterwards, so tonight was nothing new. How I was still fighting, I didn't know. I let my eyes close.

In many ways, I both preferred this punishment, and hated it more than being beaten. Usually, he used restraint with this one, and it didn't hurt near as badly as being beaten repeatedly. There were no marks left behind, no bruises I had to hide.

But this one scared me more than being beaten. Even when I thought I didn't pay any attention to what he was doing, there was always some part of my mind intently focused on it. I couldn't help that.

The only reason he did this to me at all, was because he could and because he knew it hurt me a lot more than physically. He knew I was scared that any moment, he could always hurt me more. Especially on the nights he made me participate. Just the thought made my stomach turn painfully, panic squeezing my throat closed.

Jack sighed, sitting upright beside me. Tears trailed silently from behind my closed eyes, deeply regretting each breath I had to take in. Already telling myself.

Trusting anyone was stupid.

My disappointment only fueled by the pain, the physical pain I was in, I was determined. I would never let myself feel this disappointment again. I told myself this every time. It had nothing to do with anyone else, only myself. I was only reenforcing my distrust of people, and I knew that, but being hurt this much taught me a lesson. Every time.

Nobody was good. Nobody was okay. Nobody was safe. Everyone was out to hurt me, and I wouldn't let myself be fooled into thinking otherwise.

When I made no move, continuing to lay there in the position he left me in, he chuckled behind me. He continued to sit and wait. I knew what he was waiting for, and soon, he got it.

The sobs started slow, quiet. Picking up in emotion, and soon, they were agonized. Choking cries, the ones that steals my breath. The kind that could only come from being scarred in more than one place at a time. My fear only fueled it, making me tremble where I laid.

This was the way it was every night. Every time the sun set, darkening the room, it turned out like this. Always ending in my cries in the dark.

He stayed, waiting for me to move, and eventually, I did. I finally allowed myself to move just enough to roll over. I rolled over onto my left side, facing the wall. My back to him, and I continued to cry.

He leaned over. I tried to scoot over, hugging the edge of the mattress against the cold wall. Trying to get away from him. Squeezing my eyes shut, clenching my teeth and cringing, inches from the wall as I felt him sigh into my hair, kissing the back of my head. Breathing in, he sighed contentedly.

The last I heard of him that night, it was my bedroom door closing.

I appreciated this time I had after he left. This time I had alone. I always had. He was finally tired, so chances were he would leave me alone for the rest of the night. It was times like now that I could cry. Curse, bawl, beg. Hate myself in peace. Hate how small I was, how weak I was compared to him. I hated everything during this time.

I laid there, clinging to the edge of the mattress against the wall, sobbing quietly. That was the best I could do, was cry. I didn't know what else to do. My head ached, thanks to the emotion and the starvation. My stomach was in knots, pain and hunger turning it against itself. My heart broken, torn in more spots than one.

I was hungry, had very little energy, but somehow, I found myself able to think.

Maybe tonight, I would dream again. Maybe I wouldn't have to be confused for long. Maybe tonight, I wouldn't wake up. Maybe tonight, I'd die as I slept. I cried harder as I thought about that.

Maybe I wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

My thoughts drifted. Someone had called, asking about me. I sniffled quietly, thinking about that instead of the pain, and I found it easier to take a breath, and calm down. Despite how that phone call had gotten me into trouble, I couldn't help being surprised by it.

Who had it been? The only people I could think of, were Mr. Daniels or Edward. Those were the only two who saw how upset I'd been. Mr. Daniels had spoken to Jack on our way out, and he'd never bothered to call before, so it probably wasn't him. It didn't make sense to me, though, why Edward would have been the one to call. I was nothing. Why would he bother to worry about me?

I fell asleep to those thoughts. Curled into a tiny ball on my bare mattress. One bare leg tangled in the thin, scratchy blanket that I knew I'd eventually get cold enough to cover myself with. Keeping myself as protected as I could. Tears drying on my cold cheeks.

I woke stiffly the next morning, sighing heavily as I realized I hadn't dreamed of them again. My morning started all over again, including the very painful shower. It was easier to move, however, as most of the bruises and welts had just about finished forming. I had to at least be thankful he hadn't decided to renew them.

Regardless, I chose a baggy, long-sleeved shirt. I didn't know what I'd do about warmth, but that wasn't Jack's problem. My one other pair of jeans was worse off than the ones I wore the day before.

Jack had already left for work, so I knew I had maybe half an hour to breathe before I had to leave. Mom hadn't come out of the bedroom yet, so I sat in the living room alone. Sitting in the silence, smoking a cigarette before I had to start walking. I shook today, weaker now. I absentmindedly watched the cigarette smoke curl lazily toward the ceiling, I stared off into space. My thoughts a jumbled, tangled mess.

I was disappointed that I hadn't dreamed about them the night before, but maybe it was for the best. Why bother trying to remember anything when I'd never see them again? Why bother to worry about whatever I remembered about the dream? Sure, it was nice to think about the safety I remembered, but that's all it was. It was only a dream. Some wishful thoughts my mind decided I needed to see to make life worth existing through for a few more days.

And it could easily have been a coincidence. Maybe those in the dream just reminded me of Edward and Alice. With as scarred as my mind was, it wouldn't surprise me that I'd make an instant attachment to anyone who looked at me twice.

It was pathetic.

Naturally, I was confused at the knock at the door. It was quiet, almost hesitant, and it confused me. Deeply. I sighed quietly as I set my cigarette in the ashtray in front of me, fully intending to come back to it. Standing, I slowly rounded the small loveseat, and headed for the door. I really wasn't sure if I should open it or not.

We never had visitors. Nobody ever voluntarily came here. The last time anyone had come knocking at the door, was two years ago, and I had to hide in my room for that. I didn't even know who it had been.

I jumped at another knock, reaching out slowly and pulling the door open. Who stood there surprised me even more.

"Alice?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Good morning." She smiled in return, "I was wondering if you'd like a ride to school." I glanced behind her, spotting a very unfamiliar black car sitting in the driveway, "My dad's giving me a ride, and I thought we'd take a side trip."

"Oh." I mumbled, "That's a pretty big side tri- Wait." I cut myself off, "Your dad?"

"He's very nice." She assured me, smiling confidently even as my smile had faded.

"I-I.." I was trying to come up with an excuse, "I really don't know." I distrusted anyone with the title of 'dad'. I wasn't sure if I wanted to test that distrust. I didn't want to be proven right.

"Come on." She murmured, "It's just up the road, right?"

She had a point there. A few minutes, at most, didn't seem so bad to me. I liked Alice, and didn't mind going anywhere with her. Just because her dad was with her didn't make me like her any less, but it was hard to just trust her word. Especially after the night before. It was stupid to go around hating anyone male, but I couldn't help it.

I sighed, eventually nodding.

"Sure." I mumbled, "Just let me get my shoes on."

**A/N: Well, this is different.  
Yes. Yes it is.  
"But KNeu, why is it so short?"  
Well, because I couldn't fit much else in there without going into where chapter four begins.  
What do you think? Good? Bad? Lemmie know below. :D  
Until four, my friends. (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

To my surprise, she didn't hesitate when I stepped back. She followed me inside, looking around. I blushed a little at how messy the place must have seemed to her. Before I could apologize for the state of the place, she spoke up.

"Are you here by yourself?" She asked curiously.

"No." I replied, "My mom hasn't felt very well the last couple of.. Well, years." I sat down, pulling on my shoes sitting in front of me. She gave me a look, and continued to look around, "And Jack is at work."

"Jack is..?"

"My stepdad." I mumbled, unable to keep the sound of bitterness from my voice. I sniffled, sighing as I tied my shoes. Concentrating on that instead of the embarrassment of Alice having to stand in a house not fit for someone like her. I spoke again, "Sometimes I think it'd be better if I was here alone."

She didn't reply to that, watching me. In front of me, on the coffee table, the cigarette still burned. Catching my attention. I couldn't just leave it like I wanted to. Nervously, I looked up at Alice. Hoping she didn't tell Edward about it. I looked down briefly before picking it up, and putting it out.

I stood up, shouldering my mostly empty backpack. Other than a few old graded test papers, and one beat up old notebook with most of the pages missing, I didn't have much in it.

"Just one second." I mumbled, heading for the kitchen. Pulling open the refrigerator, void of anything but beer, I reached in and grabbed one.

I felt her eyes following me as I came back through, a single brown glass bottle in my hand. I slowly stepped into the master bedroom. Walking around the king sized bed against the nearest wall, and setting the bottle on the table beside where my mom laid. She was half awake, half asleep it looked like.

"I'm leaving now, mom." I told her quietly, knowing not to be loud, "There are eight more in the fridge. I'll tell Jack you're getting low."

"Thanks, baby." She mumbled, and I pursed my lips.

"Do you need anything else before I go?" I asked, and she sighed. I didn't miss the dark circles under her eyes. How pale her skin was. I knew I was watching her die, but there wasn't anything I could do to change her decisions.

"Anything to eat?" She asked sleepily, and I sighed. Shaking my head.

"There isn't anything to eat here." I replied, "There never is. I can.." I sighed, shrugging a little, "I don't know. Bring you the phone, so you can call Jack? He'll bring you something."

"This is fine, baby." She mumbled, pushing herself up slightly. Just enough to open the bottle.

"Okay." I knew better than to try to talk her out of drinking instead of eating. That was what she did, "I have to go now, mom."

"Yeah." She mumbled after a few heavy drinks from the bottle.

"Don't drink too much today, mom." I told her, fixing her blanket a little, "I mean it."

"I won't." Was her usual reply, "I promise." Right. With that, I sighed and looked down.

I turned without waiting for her to make excuses, or promise anything else. I glanced back, watching her reach out and place the now half gone bottle of beer back on the table. Laying back down heavily. Shaking my head as I stepped back around the bed, headed for the door.

I looked down, closing my eyes. Fighting back the emotion yet again. It never did me any good to cry about her. Although I couldn't help it sometimes. There was _so_ much I wanted to blame her for, and I actually did blame her, but she didn't even know it. She didn't even care. She had to know how much I needed her, but she chose never to see it.

Opening my eyes, and looking forward again, I jumped a little at Alice standing there in the doorway, looking at the scene with an unexplainable expression. I forced a tiny, sad smile before continuing on. Passing her. Closing the bedroom door behind myself, I sighed again.

She didn't say anything about what she'd just seen. Much to my intense relief, but I had to say one thing.

"That's my mom." I murmured, glancing up at her before looking back down.

Giving me a smile as I rounded the loveseat, headed for the door. I chose not to try to explain, either. The truth was, I was embarrassed. Humiliated at the way she was, but I didn't have a chance to dwell on that for too long.

I was scared, and I was sure it showed as I crossed the soggy, overgrown yard with Alice to the shiny black car sitting running in the driveway. I could almost see myself with how smooth the paint was. I'd never seen anything like it.

I hesitated, looking up at Alice as she pulled open the front passenger door for me.

I thought I'd get the back. The back seat would have been acceptable. Further away from her dad, I'd counted on that safety. Sitting up front with him was not only more difficult when it came to dropping me off, but to me, it seemed borderline cruel. Testing my nerves in a way I wasn't used to.

"It's okay." She said, giving me a confident smile again. I didn't protest out loud, knowing what that usually got me. So I took a breath, and slowly climbed in. Already trembling. I noticed him sitting there, out of the corner of my eye, and I chose to sit as far away on the seat as I could.

I jumped, startled at the door closing quietly beside me. My heart had to have been beating a million miles a minute as I settled in the seat. Squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to steel myself. I whimpered as I listened to the back passenger door opening.

She quickly climbed into the back seat, and I looked back at her. Though I was thankful she seemed to hurry getting into the car as well, she seemed so far away back there. Wondering if there was some reason for this arrangement. I kept my eyes down once I turned forward, nervously biting my lip.

"Leandra," Alice said, "This is Carlisle. My dad." I hardly glanced to him sitting there, unable to look for very long. Never meeting his eyes.

"N-Nice to meet you." I mumbled quietly, hating the tremble in my tone.

"You as well." Carlisle's quiet voice seemed too soft to be afraid of. Kind, but also slightly concerned. There was no mistaking that voice. Nobody else in the world could have made their voice sound like his did. That's what grabbed my attention, and my cooperation. Hearing that had me glancing up again. This time, I actually looked.

Just as with Alice, and with Edward, part of me recognized him. My nervous expression slowly eased, and curiosity took its place. Something about this man seemed so familiar, like I'd met him before. Had I dreamed about him too? Meeting him for the first time, it was very hard to tell.

Alice watched silently from the back, smiling a little. A little smug. It seemed odd, but I didn't ask.

After a moment or two, I forced myself to look away from him. I looked to Alice, before looking back down. I didn't want to sound crazy. So I tried not to let on that I knew him too. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him glance to Alice as well.

I kept my eyes out the window as we got moving, my thoughts already racing. I sat in a very insecure posture, one arm hugging my desperately empty stomach. The other rested on the armrest on the door, quietly nibbling on my thumbnail. A seemingly permanent crease in my brow as I struggled to make some sense of this.

This was hard, but it wasn't near as hard as I thought it would be.

The trip was relatively short. A few minutes, like I had known it'd be, and the entire trip was spent in silence. I sat there for a moment, sighing quietly as we arrived. I glanced back over at Carlisle, to see him glance to me.

"Thank you." I murmured, "For giving me a ride."

"You're quite welcome, Leandra." He replied, and hearing his voice again only intensified the familiar feeling. It was the weirdest feeling to me, and I had to look at him again. Something about him told me I was alright. I was okay.

It took me a moment to realize that the feeling I felt was safety. The same, very same feeling of safety I'd had during the dream. I wanted to figure this out. Suddenly very deeply curious.

After just a few seconds to wonder about that, I forced myself to climb out of the car. Alice climbed out as well, smiling.

"See?" She said, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Not at all." I mumbled, shocked. She gave me a quick, gentle hug, which I returned this time.

"Here." I looked up as she stepped away. Surprised as she shed her jacket, and held it out to me. My thoughts instantly raced. Surprised yet again at the gesture, just as much as I had been the day before.

"I-I can't.." I shook my head a little. If I got caught wearing that, I'd be so screwed. Jack would immediately think I stole it, and he'd be so mad.

"It's okay." She said, "Take it. It's pretty cold out today."

"R-Really.." I murmured, "I can't. It's yours."

"I'll get it back from you when we pick you up this afternoon." She assured me. Well, that didn't seem so bad. With a solution, I didn't feel so bad.

"I'll see you again?" I asked, hesitantly hopeful.

"This guarantees it." She smiled, gesturing to the jacket. That made up my mind, and I reached up, taking it from her.

"Thank you." I finally said, pulling it on. It was big on me, but that was easily fixed by rolling the sleeves a few times. She didn't seem to mind letting me borrow her jacket. Pulling my hair out of it, and fixing it gently, all with a small smile on her face. I definitely wasn't used to being treated so kindly. Looking up at her the whole time.

She nodded, giving me another hug. With that, I turned, slowly heading toward the building. I looked back at her, still quite confused. I wished I knew why I'd dream about her, but so far, I didn't mind the fact that I had.

True to her word, she and Carlisle were there once school let out.

I made my way toward the car I scanned the parking lot for, smiling a little as I did so.

"Who did you steal that from, Leandra?" I cringed at Rachel's voice behind me before I could reach the car, "You should probably give it back, since it costs more than your house."

Thankfully, that was all she said to me as she passed me. The two friends she had with her giggled obnoxiously. I watched after her, deciding not to reply. Why couldn't Rachel just leave me alone?

Looking to the car again, I noticed Alice had climbed from the car during my distraction.

"I've avoided her all day." I mumbled as I reached her, "She must have taken all day to come up with that one." I looked back at where Rachel was bidding her friends goodbye for the day, "At least I won't have to see her for awhile."

"I could talk to her for you." Alice offered, and I shook my head a little.

"You'd be better off talking to a gorilla at the zoo." I replied, "It would listen better." She smiled, finding that amusing. I sighed, looking back up at her.

"Can you not take me all the way to the house?" I asked as I removed the jacket. Hating to do so because of how warm it was, but I handed it back to her.

"Why not?" She asked, frowning a little in confusion.

"Because.." I looked down, "Jack will be there. Tuesdays and Wednesdays he gets off work early."

"And he wouldn't approve of you getting a ride home?" Alice asked, and I looked down.

"Uh.." I murmured, "Well, no. Not really." She sighed, looking into the car at Carlisle.

I was less hesitant to accept the front passenger seat this time. I wasn't nearly as nervous as I had been before, but I still avoided looking at him. I honestly didn't know what to think, and that made me nervous.

However, before we'd even left the parking lot, I was asked yet another hard question.

"Leandra, is Jack the reason you don't like to talk about home?" I was suddenly very fascinated with a wrinkle in my jeans. Biting my lip and smoothing it out. She waited, "Leandra?"

I didn't know what to say to that. If I said no, then she'd continue asking. Perhaps asking if my mom was the reason. If I said yes, then she'd ask why.

"Yes." I finally answered quietly, "I hate him."

I waited for her to continue on that path of questioning. To my surprise, however, she only nodded. Not asking why, not inquiring any further. With my nerves eased by that, I sighed.

"I hope I didn't get you into any trouble yesterday." I looked back at her, "I called yesterday, hoping to talk to you." So it had been her to call. I hadn't even considered that.

"Jack told me someone called, but I didn't know who it was." I admitted quietly. That didn't seem so bad to admit, but just considering what punishment I got for it had me looking down, biting my lip.

"Edward said you were pretty upset when you left the school." Alice just kept going.

"I was." I allowed quietly, "I didn't want to cry in front of Rachel, so I left the class. The teacher called Jack to take me home."

"He seemed pretty irritated when I called." She prompted, leaning forward. Why was she still so interested in Jack? As far as I was concerned, he was the least fascinating person on the planet. Someone best avoided.

"That's just how Jack is." I admitted, looking out the window, "He's always that way. You'd have to meet him to get it."

I was desperate to change the subject. I needed to talk about something else besides how irritated Jack always was. I didn't want Alice to think I was easy to get answers from. That would be the opposite of helpful.

"Why did you call?" I asked, curious, "Nobody ever worries about me."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." She answered. She smiled a little, before it faded, "Are you?" I bit back what I really wanted to say. Avoiding answering. The way she asked that told me she really wanted to know the answer to that. I didn't know how to answer her honestly.

"How did you know where I lived?" I had to ask, "Or the number to call?"

She smiled sheepishly, "Edward's pretty good at getting information." The way she admitted that seemed like it happened all the time.

"So he knows I lied." I sighed, looking down, "I'm sorry about that."

"He understands." She said, "Can't just go around telling strangers where you live, right?"

"Right." I agreed quietly, sighing again. My stomach rumbled painfully, and I absentmindedly reached up to rub it. I bit back a whimper, remembering the lunch I never got to have. Rachel was especially ruthless today, considering how I had to be sent home early the day before. I'd rather avoid her than have something to eat that was never enough anyway. Even if I couldn't completely get through the day without having to hear her.

"Hungry?" Alice asked, and I looked to her.

"You heard that?"

"Wasn't hard to hear." She replied softly, and I accepted that with a sigh, "Don't you ever eat?"

"No." I mumbled, my tone suggesting I was done talking about it. I sighed, sitting back in the seat. I turned my eyes out the window again, closing my eyes for a few seconds. Hating my life.

I felt the car pull to a stop and opened my eyes again. True to his word, Carlisle had stopped up the road. Not far, but far enough to stay hidden from view of the house. I didn't even have to tell him where to stop, much to my surprise.

"Thank you." I murmured gratefully, and he gave me a small nod. I wondered if I should bother to hope that I'd ever see them again. I wanted to hope. I really did.

Reaching down, I gripped the strap of my bag with trembling hands. I stepped out, already dreading the coming few hours. I stood there for a second, busy mentally preparing myself. Trying to steel myself, but it never worked.

Alice climbed out as well, and at first, I was nervous. Looking up at her, I hoped she didn't offer the jacket again. I couldn't take it this time. Until a new worry came through.

What if she decided she wanted to walk me to the door? Glancing back in the direction of the house, I knew Jack wouldn't be able to see us where we were, but I wasn't in the clear yet.

"We'll pick you up again tomorrow." Alice offered, and I looked to her again. I couldn't help the small smile. I nodded, letting her know that was acceptable. Gratefully acceptable. It was weird, so weird allowing myself to believe her.

Already looking forward to the next day, I returned the hug she gave me, letting her hold on longer this time.

"See you in the morning." She told me, and I nodded again. Did this mean she wasn't going to walk with me?

Despite that worry, I didn't want to let go. Not to go through that small group of trees to the house. Not to go to Jack. I took a deep breath, and stepped back. This was difficult. How I already strongly preferred her and Carlisle's company over home. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was actually moving.

A fat raindrop landing on my shoulder told me it was time to go, so I sighed heavily, giving her a forced smile.

"Thank you again." I mumbled, and she smiled.

"You're welcome." She said, "Better get used to it." She meant about the jacket. Reluctantly, I nodded.

"Bye." I murmured. She responded quietly, and I forced myself to turn, walking away. To my relief, she didn't follow. Even if I knew she still stood there. Stumbling through the trees, I eventually broke out into the yard, just a few feet from the driveway, where Jack's truck sat.

I kept my eyes down as I stepped up onto the porch and pushed open the front door. To my surprise, he wasn't standing there waiting for me. He must have been in the bedroom with mom. I laid my bag beside the couch and sighed.

Crossing the room, toward my bedroom to get out of these clothes so they wouldn't get ruined later. I'd just gotten out of them, when he called for me.

"Leandra." I paused at Jack's call from the master bedroom. I sighed heavily, laying my half folded jeans on the bed, and turned. I left my room, crossed the living room to the master bedroom door.

The first thing I noticed was the wide open closet door. That was out of place. Jack sat on the side of the bed, seeming more stressed than I ever remembered him being. Looking to the closet again, I noticed a lot of the clothes were missing.

"Bring me a beer."

Jack never overdid it. I didn't have to worry too much about him drinking too much. I half wished he'd drink as much as mom did, but he never did. No. Everything he did was his own doing.

I gave him a nod, turning and leaving the room again.

Returning, I kept my eyes down as I held it out for him, jumping with a gasp as his hand snapped out and gripped my wrist. Sitting up straighter, he pulled me closer. I stumbled just a bit at the unexpected tug, but stayed upright.

It always made me nervous to come into their room anyway. I hated it. Maybe it was because it was where he always went when he wasn't terrorizing me? I didn't know.

He sighed, his hand still on my wrist as he looked up at me. He didn't say anything at first. When he did, it just confused me.

"Do you know why I do what I do?" He asked, and for a moment, I wasn't sure how to answer, "Answer me honestly." I shook my head, "Do you wish I'd stop?" Again, I didn't know how to answer. I stayed quiet, briefly dropping my gaze down. I knew better than to answer that one honestly.

After a moment, he sighed again.

"Come here a minute." He tugged me around, sitting me down beside him, "Here. Open this for me." He let me go, sitting up fully and reaching over as I struggled with the top to the beer bottle. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes, he shook one out, before glancing to me and shaking out another one. He knew I smoked.

He lit them both, offering one to me. I traded him. I was surprised he was being so nice to me, but I knew it wouldn't last.

"Sit up here." He barked, patting the bed near the headboard, "I want to talk to you." I turned over. Holding the cigarette in my lips, I flipped over and crawled painfully up to sit beside him.

The one thing I managed to focus on besides the fact that he was being civil to me, was that my mom wasn't there. She wasn't laying on the other side of the bed where I'd left her this morning. That confused me, as did the still half full bottle of beer I'd brought her. Normally that would have been gone minutes later.

Maybe she was on the couch? But I didn't remember seeing her when I laid my bag down. There weren't any other places she would be. The bathroom door was open across the room, meaning she wasn't in there. Where was she?

"Do you know why I do what I do?" He asked again once I was settled, taking my attention again, and I shook my head once more.

"No." I answered quietly.

"Because I can." He replied, and I looked up, "For one," He continued, reaching for the ashtray, "Your mom is in no condition to stop me, and that's her own fault. I was the one stuck raising you, and I intended to do it right."

I stayed quiet. This wasn't news to me. I knew this.

"Two," He continued, "You deserve it. If you would just stop fucking up, I wouldn't have to. Understand?" I nodded. This wasn't news either, "You just fuck up so damn much, I have no other choice."

"I don't mean to." I mumbled, and he looked to me.

"I know." He said, "I know you don't, but that's my job. To beat the hell out of you until you learn."

Feeling a little braver, I had to ask.

"Why do you hurt me at night?" I asked, my voice almost silent. He looked to me again, and I had to look down briefly. His gaze intimidated me.

What he did when he came in at night was something neither of us mentioned to each other during the day. Never. That was an unspoken rule that we both followed since it started. I'd just mentioned it, and for a second, I worried I'd just killed his generous mood.

"Well," He said, and I was surprised for a second that he was about to answer me, "I know what that does to you. What good is beating the hell out of you if you have time to recover at night? What I do to you has a purpose, bitch. You don't even know yet what it's doing to you. I like the idea that every time, I ruin your life a little more."

His chuckle had me look down. That wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was the one I expected.

"But look." He said, "I've decided to make more of an effort with you." I was confused. He seemed uncomfortable, not even looking at me, "Thursday, we're going on a trip, so be ready tomorrow to get some clothes." I nodded immediately, "I think all this bullshit with the school and people calling just means we need to get out of town for a little while. What do you say?"

I really didn't want to go anywhere with him, but I couldn't tell him that. So I just nodded.

"Is mom going?" I asked quietly, looking up at him. I hoped that one question didn't piss him off, but unfortunately, it did. It was difficult to slap me from where he sat, but somehow, he managed to.

"No." He answered sharply, "She's not." It could have been so much worse, and I knew that. I was just thankful he stopped at one, open-handed slap across my face.

I desperately wanted to ask where she was, but I knew it would be stupid to ask. I whimpered, but otherwise, stayed quiet. Sniffling a little, I kept my eyes down. I didn't need another one of those.

"Now, as I was saying." He said, his tone firmer now, "We're leaving on Thursday. Don't ask any questions, and we'll be alright." I nodded immediately. He was quiet for a moment.

"And don't ask about that again." He commanded, and I looked down.

"Which thing?" I asked.

"You know what I'm talking about." He replied, "I mean it." I had more questions, and I really wanted to ask them, but I didn't. Knowing that pressing him for answers would only come back to bite me in the ass. I looked up at him, and he kept his gaze on the cigarette in his hand.

I was quiet, trying to understand what I'd ever done to him. I wondered what it'd be like to be on his good side for once. All I ever wanted was for him to treat me like something worth even caring about. Just a little bit.

I wasn't asking for everything in the world, but he was the only one I had to look up to. My mom was hardly worth looking at at all, much less looking up to. Considering she was never upright.

"What?" He suddenly barked, knowing I was still looking at him. I gasped, turning my eyes down once more.

"Sorry."

I finished smoking sitting there beside him.

"Go to bed." He told me, "You're staying home from school tomorrow, but I want your ass up early. Got it?"

I climbed over his leg to get off the bed, sighing. I had to know, though.

"Where's mom?" I asked quietly, "Jack, where is she?"

"Why do you always have to ask a million questions?" He demanded, "She's not here. That's all you need to know."

"Did she leave?" I whimpered, "She left?" He sighed, clenching his fists. I knew he was trying, which was surprising to me. He was making an effort not to hit me, but I couldn't help taking a step back. I was tensed, waiting for the moment when he stood up, and I'd have to run.

"She left." Jack told me, answering me after a moment. It took me a second to understand.

"She left?" I repeated. I couldn't believe it. My voice reflected that, and I was sure the look in my eyes did as well.

"Apparently, her brother came by and picked her up. This morning." Jack answered, standing as I took another step back, "Now, again, go to bed. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night."

"Okay." The way I said it had me instantly kicking myself. It was quite sassy, but defensive. The truth was, this news had hit me hard, but he could hit me harder. Which he did.

The sudden slap to the side of my head had me toppling over, hitting the floor. I sat there, stunned for a second. I definitely have to learn to stop pissing him off. I would think I'd have learned that with six years of practice, but so far, I hadn't quite gotten it down. Apparently.

He waited until I managed to pick myself up off the floor to speak again.

"Drop the attitude." I looked down, "Get out."

My mom had been my one fruitless hope in this hell. The fact that she'd just leave me behind hurt. It proved that what Jack had told me all these years, about her not wanting me, was true. She just dropped me, and left.

His voice was one I hadn't heard before. Almost sad, like mom leaving had bothered him. I nodded, instantly turning doing as he told me to do.

I had my own sadness and shock to get through.

I opened my bedroom door, stepped in, and closed it. Leaning against the door, I started to cry. I knew it. I could feel it, that now that she was gone, things would get so much worse around here.

He'd have free reign, freedom to do whatever the hell he wanted. Not that he didn't have that before, but there had always been this hesitancy hanging around before. A worry, that maybe, she'd wake up sober enough to see what was happening.

That was gone.

I was stuck here. Alone, with him. How could she just abandon me? Just leave me here? If she was getting out, why couldn't I? I dealt with way more things than she did, and she still felt she had the right to get out when I didn't?

I didn't see Jack for the rest of the day. He stayed in the bedroom, probably trying to come to terms with it just as much as I was. I wasn't used to being left alone. Allowed to get my clothes washed by hand in the bathtub without being bothered, and that normally took quite a bit of time.

I kneeled there beside the tub, trying to warm my freezing cold hands on my legs. Thinking. It was just so hard to believe. Never, in the last six years, had she ever let on that she wanted to leave. I didn't even know she had a brother.

As I kneeled there, thinking, my thoughts crept slowly toward other scenarios. She wasn't here, that was clear. Had Jack done something? Had he hurt her? Lost his temper with her, and gone too far?

I didn't want to ask him about it, and possibly get myself into the same spot. It just really didn't sit right with me. How suddenly, she could just be gone.

Unfortunately, there he was that night.

Without the light, he seemed angrier now. Without the light, he was going back on what he told me earlier. About trying. Unless he was trying, and if so, I should have been grateful it wasn't worse. Where he would tolerate my struggles before, now it was unacceptable. One particular open handed slap left my ears ringing, and my lip swollen.

Thinking about other things, hoping he'd just leave me there. I thought about where he'd possibly be taking me, and I thought about what would happen if we were there too long. What if Alice forgot about me? What if we were gone for too long, and I missed my chance to find out why I would ever dream about her?

I made myself hold on. To keep myself from giving up.

However, the following morning, I knew my limit was coming up. I hadn't eaten in five days now, and it was harder to find energy to hide everything. My darkened eye, in particular. I cried while doing so. Kneeling on the sink to see closer, I made sure to cover it the best I could with concealer. My hands trembling.

There wasn't much I could do about my swollen lip. Even if I tried covering it, anyone would be able to see it was swollen. It wasn't hard to see.

My stomach snarled desperately, and I cried along with it. I knew better than to ask Jack for some food, however. That would just make sure he didn't feed me for awhile longer. Just because I had the nerve to ask.

Again, I couldn't help thinking. Kneeling there on the sink, facing my own reflection. What about me? My mom may have forgotten about me, but I haven't. I just wanted something different. I was getting so tired of having to lie, to explain away the things he did to me. I was tired of taking the blame, and somehow making it okay.

I was so tired of somehow pulling off miracles, and staying right in the situation I was in.

I stopped those thoughts in their tracks. It wasn't fair, but it's just how it was. No matter what my dreams told me, that would never change. So what if Alice was real? So what if I'd dreamed about her? So what? Was getting my hopes up, and being disappointed yet again worth it?

I wasn't so sure. Normally, I'd tell myself no. It wasn't worth it, but now, I wasn't sure. Was that feeling, the feeling I'd woken up remembering, worth fighting for or pursuing? Did it really matter? It did matter to me, but what did the fact that it mattered to me matter? That didn't matter.

I looked down, away from my own eyes, and I sighed. Confusing myself seemed too easy these days.

I'd have to hurry if I wanted to keep him from getting upset with me. Thunder rumbled above us, drowning out the sound of my next heavy sigh. I climbed off the counter, turning to look out toward the dark living room.

Jack was getting ready himself in just the next room.

I didn't know where he was taking me, but I hoped it was to get something better than just the rejects from the thrift store. I didn't mind either way. Something new to me was new enough.

Jack wasn't poor. Not by any means. He could afford just about anything in the world he wanted, but he chose to keep the bare minimum in the house, and put the rest away. Which included keeping me in the bare minimum. Now that I was fully his, I wondered if things would actually get better.

I knew better than to hope.

It was much too early for me to be awake, as normally Jack had already left for work by the time I even woke up, so I was pretty worn out. Hurting and sore, and I knew the cold of the morning would only make that worse. Dawn had just come, and school didn't start for another two hours.

Pausing to look me over before we left the house, Jack's hand gripped my chin and turned my face upwards. Looking me over.

"Good job." He allowed, a hint of surprise in his voice, "Do you always cover it this good?" I nodded to his question.

Releasing my chin, he gripped my shoulder and steered me out the door.

It was raining in the lightening yard, so I shielded my head the best I could with my arms as I waited for him to unlock the truck. Once he did, I scrambled up as quickly as I was able to, shutting the door behind me. Shivering slightly.

I turned, knowing the drill. Climbing over the center console, I landed in the backseat with a quiet grunt of discomfort. The backseat of his truck was a flat, hard bench. Very little to no padding, whatsoever. Back here, it was easier to hide me. He hated to be seen with me, and I was never exactly thrilled to be seen with him.

"I don't go in until noon." Jack told me, starting the truck, "But you'll be staying home, so I'll drop your ass off back here. You better be here when I get back, or you'll be sorry." We got going, leaving the porchlight on behind us. I was particularly moody this morning, and I surprised myself by having to bite back a retort. I already was sorry.

"Okay." I agreed quietly, "Where would I go?" He only chuckled in response to that, knowing as well as I did that I wouldn't have anywhere else to go, "I'm not stupid."

"Yes you are." He laughed incredulously, "Where would you get that idea?" I didn't answer, sighing as I looked out the window, "What? Suddenly someone calls asking for you, and you think you deserve better? Uh-uh." I watched him shake his head out of the corner of my eye, "Don't flatter yourself, you stupid little bitch."

"You're the one telling me you're making more of an effort." That one couldn't be stopped.

What the hell was wrong with me? Since when did I ever, _ever_ talk back? Not only just now, but earlier. And before then? I had to keep my eyes down, and I had to keep my replies to myself. That's what I did. I didn't talk back, and I didn't challenge him. Why was I challenging him? Why was I talking back to him?

He caught that, pulling over onto the grassy side of the path. Spinning in his seat, he reached back and caught my face in his hand with a tension I knew was controlled. Despite knowing it was controlled, it still hurt. Badly. Pulling me forward, his glare was enough to send ice through my veins.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled instantly, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Let's get one thing straight right now, cunt." He growled, "I am making more of an effort, so you'll quit your bitching. I'm tired of you." I whimpered as he shook me a little.

"I'm so _sick_ of seeing you cry." He continued through clenched teeth, inches from my face, "What I do to you is our business. Nobody else's. Get it?" I hesitated, only whimpering as I attempted to pry his hand loose. That never worked, so I don't know why I tried it now. When I didn't answer, he slapped me repeatedly against the side of my head, "Huh? Do you get that, or do I have to repeat myself?"

"Yes." I answered, flinching at each slap.

"Good." He pulled me even closer, and I had to kneel on the edge of the seat to keep from falling, "Because if I _ever_ have to tell you that again, things will be much worse for you. You remember the box?" I instantly recalled what he was talking about.

Two years before, I'd broken something, and I knew then that I was in for it.

Outside the house, out the back door closer to the trees, there was a small, wooden box. Not a shed, but more like a chest. The lid flipped up, and inside was a small space for small tools, and on the lid, was a latch for a lock. The box was far from waterproof, and the damp earth under it smelled horribly of mold.

The small space was supposed to be used for tools. Not seven-year-olds.

I was beaten, and dropped in that box for three days and nights straight for what I'd done. By the time he let me out, I was sobbing so loud, I was sure the neighbors could hear me. When he finally let me out, he only laughed, and told me that he'd forgotten all about me. That I was lucky I didn't starve to death out there.

"Remember?" He prompted again, and my wide eyes turned pleading.

I nodded in his hand, "You don't want that again, do you?" I shook my head as much as I could, letting out a sob, "No. You don't. So cut the shit, or I'll make sure you never see the light of day again." I knew I had to have done something huge if he used that threat again.

I didn't know what to say to that.

"Drop the attitude, bitch." He continued, "I don't know where you picked it up from, but that isn't going to fly here."

"Yes, sir." I mumbled, unable to clearly talk. His grip was really starting to hurt.

"You're going to sit down, shut the fuck up, and if I hear another word out of you, it's right back into that box." He paused, glaring into my eyes, "And if anyone ever shows the slightest bit of interest in you again, you'll disappear. I'm not playing around anymore, Leandra. I don't care who the hell it was on the phone the other day. You make them forget your name, or so help me, you'll regret the day you were born."

He didn't wait for me to agree.

With a shove, I was sent back into the backseat. My welts and bruises exploded in pain as I landed, but I didn't dare make a sound. I just scrambled upright, curling into an upright ball on the seat. He turned forward again, satisfied with my changed tune. Or lack of one.

That was it for the conversation.

**A/N: This almost came out to be over 10k word(s). I got a little crazy with the editing process.  
So... What I took out will be in chapter five. This story is taking its time this go-round, so bear with me. We're learning more about her home life. Isn't that great? :D  
No. No, not really.  
But anyhoo... THANK YOU! To my reviewers! It's usually quite rare to get reviews on the first few chapters, but I'm so happy with the way it turned out so far. Good start, guys! THANK YOU SO MUCH! *Squee*  
Anyhoo.. Again..  
I'll see you guys for chapter five. (:**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I was given clear instructions on what type of clothing to get, and how much I was allowed to spend as we got to the store. As it turned out, and to my surprise, I was allowed to pick out whatever I wanted, which was something I didn't take lightly.

T-shirts and jeans. Pajamas, preferrably thin ones. New shoes, and whatever else I might need. I was given two hundred in cash, and sent in alone. Jack waited out in the truck, telling me to make it fast, which I just couldn't do. It was clear he hated letting me do this, but given permission, I couldn't pass it up. I took my time. I carefully poked through the aisles, not particularly eager to make it quick. I knew I had to be careful, find sturdy clothing that would last. I wasn't after the clothes that looked good.

With a lot left over, I chose a few more long sleeved sweater shirts, just so I'd have some sort of variety when we got back from wherever we were going. I didn't know when I'd get this opportunity again. I knew he'd approve of me not spending it all, which he did. He gave me a nod, taking the change I offered him. Even the pennies.

We got back to the house around eleven, and Jack left me alone from there. Not even caring what all I got.

At his instruction, there was an old duffel bag in my mom's closet I could use to pack the new stuff in, which I did. Carefully folding everything, I packed the things I needed. Neatly, otherwise Jack would throw everything at me and tell me to do it again.

He left with another grumbled warning to stay home, and I was alone again.

While Jack was gone, I thought I'd try to gain some points by finishing picking things up around the house, and starting a burn. Maybe I'd earn something to eat, but I wasn't counting on that.

I wore a pair of my trashier pajama pants and a light hooded sweatshirt. Pulling the hood over my head, I made my way out back and wrestled the lock free of the dog run. Sighing as I took three big bags from the middle of the pile and kicked a fourth one toward the filthy burn barrel off toward the trees.

Ignoring the mice that ran from the pile.

I tossed two bags in first, got the fire going, and grabbed the stick I used to keep the pile down. I didn't mind burning stuff so much. It was nice to just stand there, watching the fire for awhile. Now and then stirring the stuff in the barrel.

How long I was out there depended on the weather, and how confident I felt that I could stand the cold water later to get cleaned up. If I was brave, I'd burn six or seven bags at a time. Or finish the pile with ten.

Inevitably, I was covered in black ash. Always, because I had to take the ash that didn't burn away and do something with it, otherwise the barrel would fill up, which was dangerous.

Today, I chose only five bags, kneeling on the dirt when standing got too tiresome. Burning was boring, because it took hours for everything to turn to ash. While I waited, I watched the flames, and I thought.

I wondered how much Alice hated me for not being home. I wondered if she actually came by like she said she would. I felt bad for not being here, but I had no choice. I felt bad for not giving her a heads up.

I stayed kneeling there for hours, just watching. I had to move a few times, as I got too warm next to the fire, but that was it for the movement.

"Leandra?" I stood quickly, turning sharply at Alice's voice behind me. I smiled a little, having not expected to see her there. She'd rounded the house, Carlisle following to my surprise, "What are you doing?"

"Just burning some trash." I replied with a small shrug.

"You're filthy." She frowned, coming to my side.

"Someone's gotta do it." Was all I said, sighing.

She was quiet, but she seemed upset. Carlisle stood to her other side, and given the concern in his eyes as he looked to me, my late night the night before showed in my tired expression.

"Uhm.." I paused, glancing up at the clouds, "This should be about done. Just let me put some dirt on this, and we can go inside. It'll be fine with as rainy as it's been lately." I'd been burning trash since I was five, and had yet to burn anything down, so I was pretty confident I knew what I was doing.

I hesitated only a second before reaching into the small wooden tool box a few steps away for the small shovel.

"Here." I glanced over as Carlisle spoke up, starting forward, "Let me do that for you."

"Oh no." I said, surprised, "You don't have to. I can do it." He gave me a look, and I sighed, "Well, okay. If you really want to." I hesitantly let him take the shovel from me, dusting my hands off on my jacket. I felt horrible letting him do my work for me, but I really wasn't up to arguing with him.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Alice was still upset, and I couldn't understand why. I glanced back at Carlisle as Alice placed her hand on my back, leading me toward the back door.

"Are you sure?" I asked, my eyes still on Carlisle, "I really can do it."

"I promise that it's fine." He replied, giving me a small confident smile and a nod. I let Alice lead me up the shaky back steps, and in through the door.

I pursed my lips as Alice closed the door behind her, standing in the back room with me. Back here was where the washer and dryer was, but I wasn't allowed to use it. I sighed, leading her from the small laundry room, into the kitchen.

"I don't like that he has you doing that." She spoke up, and I looked over at her.

"Oh, that's not that bad." I replied honestly, "It's easy if you know what you're doing. Anyone with half a brain-cell would know what not to do to keep from burning the forest down."

"It's not the forest I'm worried about, Leandra." She was still unhappy. I must have pissed her off by not being here this morning.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't here earlier." I murmured, stepping through the kitchen toward the bathroom, "Jack took me to get some clothes." She followed me, standing in the doorway as I turned on the light.

"He did?" She asked, watching as I took the one washcloth I had use of and turned on the cold water. With ease, I climbed up onto the sink, seeing all the ash coated on my cheeks.

"Yeah." I mumbled, wetting the cloth. I had to be careful how much I wiped off.

She stayed in the doorway, watching me as I cleaned my hands and the smudges off my cheeks.

"Which is your room?" She asked, and I looked to her, "So I can get you clean clothes." My jacket and pajama bottoms were dirty, so I knew why she'd ask.

"Um." I froze a little, my heart sinking, "I'll get it."

"Really, I can." She offered, and I instantly hopped down. She turned, sighing.

"Wait." I mumbled, watching as she headed for exactly the right door, "Alice, let me." Thankfully, the back door opened, and Carlisle came inside, taking her attention as well as mine.

"That was quick." I muttered, surprised.

"Those steps are highly unsafe." He murmured. I didn't know what to say to that, sighing. I still wasn't sure if I trusted him yet, but Alice moving again regained my attention. To my relief, she only moved toward the living room.

"I'll be right out." I muttered, and she gave me a nod as she looked around tensely. I made sure no one was looking before shoving open my bedroom door quickly and slipping inside through a two inch opening. Closing it firmly behind myself.

I took a few seconds to breathe. My head was still spinning at the fact that they had bothered to actually come back a second time.

I quickly pulled on cleaner clothes, shedding my jacket and trading that for one of my old, torn sweaters. Jeans, of course. I had nothing else, really. Leaving my shoes off, I left the room again. Closing the door behind me firmly, I made sure there was no way for it to come open on its own.

Slowly stepping back out, I spotted the two of them standing there. Well, Carlisle stood there. Alice wandered slowly, looking around.

"Better?" I asked quietly, and she looked to me. Nodding a little. Watching her look around, I was glad I'd picked things up a little more.

"That's not one of the new ones, is it?" She asked, and I shook my head. She meant my sweater.

"No." I sighed, "I'm not allowed to wear them yet." She glanced to me.

"Why not?" She asked, continuing to look around. She still seemed agitated, and I didn't understand it. The place was cleaner now than it had been before. I turned, taking the now open spot beside Carlisle to watch her curiously. Glancing up at him, I noticed he watched her too.

"Not until we get to whereever we're going." I clarified, "We're leaving tomorrow."

"Leaving?" She seemed far more interested in that, "Where are you going?"

"I don't know." I admitted, "I'm not allowed to ask."

"He's taking you away?" She asked again, seeming disappointed.

"I know, I'd rather stay too, but since mom left, he figured we needed to go somewhere I guess." I replied, looking down. It still bothered me, thinking about my mom leaving. I sighed, looking down.

"How long will you be gone for?" She asked, and I was half surprised, half confused about why she'd ask. I wasn't used to the forward way she was asking these things.

"I really don't know." I answered again, "He didn't tell me anything, except that we were leaving tomorrow." I waited a few seconds for her to ask another question, "Maybe it's better he doesn't tell me anything. Less stuff to dread that way."

I watched her, almost transfixed, as she wandered over to the coffee table. Cleared of any beer bottles, but she picked up something that always made me nervous. No matter who held it.

Jack's folded utility knife. I hated that thing, and I looked down. I never touched it. If I had to, it was only to give it to him. The sound of it clicking open always made me jump, and unconsciously, I took a step back as it did so now. My heart pounded uncomfortably. There was a story behind that thing.

"Alice." Carlisle spoke, and I had to look as she closed it again and put it down. Noticing her looking down at it with what I could only guess was disgust.

"So he didn't tell you anything about where you're going?" She asked again, and I shook my head.

"That's nothing new, though." I murmured.

I glanced back up when she didn't reply, seeing that she was looking closer. I met her gaze, and her eyes grew concerned. As if she could see right through all my careful face-paint. Just like the other day.

"I think you should come over." She finally told me firmly, and yet again, I was taken off guard. Surprised by the sudden way she said that.

"Over?" I asked, "Like, to your house?"

"Yes." She said positively, "You haven't really gotten to meet everyone yet." I turned, glancing to the clock. The first thing I thought of, as usual, was how long I had until Jack got back.

"I shouldn't." I replied quietly, "He'll be home soon, and if I'm not here, he'll get mad. He told me to stay here." With an extra beat of my heart, I remembered the box, and I started to shake my head. I thought about everything Jack told me that morning.

"I just want you to meet the others before you go." She insisted, "We won't keep you long." I wasn't sure why she wanted this so much. Like it mattered to her.

"I-I can't." I wish I could tell her why.

Going over to their place was the opposite of making them forget my name.

I was supposed to make them forget me. Not make more friends. I was torn between what Jack told me, and what I wanted. I liked Alice. It wasn't fair. I wanted a friend. This was a once in a lifetime kind of chance. Jack just didn't understand that.

Maybe if I told him about how I dreamed about her, he'd let me keep talking to her. Maybe if I told him this wasn't just someone who'd seen me, but someone I'd seen, he'd calm down about it. I doubted it, but I didn't let myself think too much about that.

Something was telling me, tempting me to take her offer.

"Please?" She really wanted this, and I found it harder to keep telling her no. She was too nice of a person to deny, and it was harder to keep telling myself no. She didn't even know what she was asking of me, though.

"How far away do you live?" I asked quietly after a moment of thinking.

"Twenty minutes, tops." She replied, and I started to consider it. I had two and a half hours before I needed to be back, so I sighed.

"I have two hours before I have to be back here." I told her, "That's when he gets back." Why was I even considering it? Jack had told me to stay, but she was wanting me to go. Why was it even considerable? Why was I even tempted?

"Two hours." She agreed, nodding. So I sighed.

"Okay." I mumbled, glancing up at Carlisle, "I just have to get my shoes." What was wrong with me today? I wasn't myself today. That hadn't happened before. Normally, what Jack told me specifically stuck. It must have been the once in a lifetime thing. I wasn't willing to just let it pass. Despite that, though, it scared me to go against what Jack told me to do.

I understood the consequences of what I was choosing to do. Alice didn't, but that wasn't her fault. I knew how much trouble I could get into. She didn't. Until she did understand, there was no way she could know how hard this was for me.

I slowly stepped around Carlisle, a frown on my face as I headed back toward my room. I didn't know how to feel about her insisting. I was both grateful for her insisting, but uneasy.

I pushed open my bedroom door, stepping over the stained carpet to my shoes by the bed. I listened for any hints they were about to follow me, the one squeak in the floor in the hallway, but never heard it. So I kept my gaze down. It would have been far easier to just close the door behind me like I had done before, but I was already across the room when I remembered that. I sighed, questioning my ability to think. Shaking my head, I blamed it on being tired.

I had to find out what made Alice so special, and I had a feeling I would find out if I let them take me home.

"_Their _home." I corrected myself out loud, "_Theirs_." I shook my head, sighing as I continued on with my task. I was taking a huge, huge chance, and that fact wasn't lost on me. I just needed to be a little brave.

I'd go there, find out there actually wasn't anything special about these people, and be disappointed, but at least I'd cure my curiosity.

I'd just gotten one foot into the first shoe when I was startled.

"Leandra?" Carlisle called, his voice closer to the room. I jumped up quickly, racing across the room with my other shoe in my hand as I left the room, slamming the door behind me as I looked up at him.

Standing there, we watched each other for a moment. Me leaning back against the closed bedroom door, looking up at him watching me with gentle suspicion in his eyes. I didn't dare move until I was sure he hadn't seen the room I'd just left.

"I just wanted to let you know to grab a jacket." He finally said quietly, "It's a little cold out."

"I'm okay." I answered just as quietly, if not quieter, "I'm pretty tough." Not to mention, the only jacket I had was currently coated in ash that didn't smell too good.

"Okay." He allowed, not pressing, much to my relief. Slowly, I stepped away from the door. Glancing up at him as I stepped passed.

"Thank you." I murmured, "By the way. For.. Outside."

"You're welcome." He replied, following me back toward the living room. I took a calming breath, looking to Alice still standing there. I paused against the wall, leaning against it as I pulled my other shoe on. Ignoring the pain as I did so. My heart skipped a beat, but I was otherwise fine.

I was getting better at that, I thought to myself. It was always harder when the wounds and bruises were fresh.

I tied my shoe quickly, sighing as I stood upright.

"I _have_ to be back before he gets home." I stressed, coming to Alice's side, "Okay?"

"Of course." Alice assured me, "You will be."

I left with them, feeling more nervous now, but I comforted myself with one thought. If Carlisle had seen any hint of my room, there was no way he'd be so calm. No way in hell.

It was a close call, and I had to be more careful.

Once again, I was in the front passenger seat, but this time I wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I was before. Just nervous. Until one thought tried to steal any confidence I might have had.

What if Jack got off early? If I wasn't there when he got back, I'd be in so much trouble.

"Leandra," Alice spoke from the backseat, distracting me enough to keep me from panicking, and I looked to her, "I wish I knew how to word this in a way you won't be offended, but here goes nothing." I waited, "You look horrible." I looked down instantly, unsure how to reply.

"I know." I mumbled in response, "I'm just always tired."

"Don't you get enough sleep?" She asked, and I couldn't help feeling as if she had been waiting for the opportunity to ask that question. There was no pause to think of the question, just a split second of hesitation.

"No." I replied quietly, "I never get enough." That didn't seem like such a bad question to answer, "I don't get to."

"Why did your mother leave, Leandra?" Alice asked, and I kept my eyes down. Sighing quietly. More personal questions. It really did seem like she was interrogating me, but in a subtle sort of way.

"I don't know," I mumbled, "But it's not fair."

"What do you mean by that?" Carlisle asked, and for a moment I was surprised that he'd take an interest in my life. Sure, he'd helped me earlier, but that was different. I felt in the way enough, what with Alice insisting they come all the way to Sappho two days in a row. I figured the least I could do was answer him.

"It's not fair that she got away when I can't." I turned my gaze out the window, "That she'd just leave me behind like trash."

"That's never easy, Leandra." Alice murmured, and I shrugged. Trying to hold back my emotion as she continued, "I can't tell you for certain what she was thinking, but maybe she just didn't have time to take you."

"I shouldn't even be complaining." I mumbled bitterly, "I don't even know why I expected anything different. I should be happy she's gone." I lightly rested my head against the window, closing my eyes. I was exhausted. The heat in the car was making it tough to stay tense. I stifled a yawn, biting my lip as I did so. Wincing slightly as the action brought me pain.

"Has she always been that way?" Alice asked quietly, and I knew what she meant. How'd I know this question was going to come up?

"Yeah." I muttered, my head still against the window, "For as long as I can remember." It was clear she didn't know what to say to that, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that." She countered, and I didn't even look at her. I pursed my lips a little, sighing. It was quiet for a moment as we found the highway. The one that'd take us from Sappho to Forks. It was this road that turned into main street.

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke again, and I looked to him, "I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be truthful with me." Why did they always warn me before telling me something? Sure it was nice to have a heads up, but that didn't make it any easier to answer.

"Okay." I mumbled hesitantly, waiting tensely.

"What happened to your lip?" The forward way he asked that question made my heart drop, and I looked down. Nervously biting my lip again, gently trying to subtly hide it.

"How do you guys see so much?" I asked quietly. I knew it was pointless to deny it, not when he seemed to certain, "Nobody ever sees so much." I waited, and he waited. Obviously neither of us wanting to answer the other's question. I kept my eyes on him, and he kept glancing to me. The silence answering for me.

I didn't even know how I knew to ask that one question. It was the one question that kept him from insisting I answer, which was exactly what I needed. I wished I could tell him, but there was just so much standing between me and admitting the truth.

It seemed like in no time at all we were getting to Forks, and even less time to pass right through it. The trip to their house wasn't very long, but it worried me. The entire way, I was thinking about what would happen if Jack got home early.

Since he specifically told me to be there, it was so hard to go against what he told me to do. I was questioning my sanity yet again, for even thinking about going against what he specifically told me.

Despite the worry, I watched, fascinated as Carlisle turned off the highway, onto a drive mostly hidden in the trees. It was a very remote area, I could already see that. Not many places were this hidden. Not around here.

I thought where I lived was pretty out of the way, but even our road wasn't this hidden, and it definitely wasn't paved. This one was.

"Leandra," Alice spoke a moment later, "I want to ask you something. And I want you to be truthful with me." Again with that line. I sighed in slight irritation, waiting as I turned slightly to look back at her, "You recognized me that day." So she had noticed. I neither nodded or shook my head, staying quiet as I looked at her, "You told me you did."

To be honest with myself, the fact that she hadn't asked about Jack eased me, but what she was asking about now made me less likely to speak. It puzzled me how she knew to ask about it, but it also scared me. I couldn't explain it to her any more than I could explain it to myself.

"Do you recognize anyone else?" She asked, and I looked down, "Like you've met us before, right?"

"What does this have to do with anything?" I asked quietly. My tone was defensive again, giving away how I felt. I wasn't about to admit that I knew what she was talking about. I didn't want to tell her that I remembered them from a dream I'd had two days ago. Not only would she probably laugh her ass off at me, but she probably wouldn't want to be my friend anymore.

For a moment, I was distracted by the fact that I actually considered her to be a friend. That was incredibly dangerous of me to do, and I knew it, but I hadn't even noticed it happening.

"There's a reason." She answered, and I was momentarily distracted, turning my eyes back out the window as we broke free of the trees, and approached a rather large house. I had to stare. A dull ache swam through my head as I looked at the large house, my eyes glued to its beauty.

Some part of me felt like I'd been here. I _had_ been here.

Alice's eyes were on me, watching my reaction closely. I smiled just a bit, unable to help it. My mind struggled, aching the entire time, to recall where I'd seen this house before. It was very confusing, and very disorienting, but I had no control over it.

"I see that." I looked to Alice, her smile throwing me off. I looked down.

I wasn't sure why I was intimidated, but something about the way she looked at me made me think she expected something of me. Maybe to say something, or to do something, I really wasn't sure. So I just turned my gaze back out the window.

It started to hit me, however. I was being taken to a stranger's house. Despite the fact that I knew them, in some weird, indescribable way. They were still strangers to me, and I had to decide whether or not I trusted my dream enough to test it this way.

I didn't know these people. Not well enough to let them take me to their house. They could be some kind of kidnappers. Isn't that what kidnappers did, I questioned myself. Earn the trust of the kid, and take them away?

That thought didn't seem so bad to me. Anywhere with them had to be better than anywhere with Jack. I was still hesitant, however, glancing to Carlisle again. Did I trust him? Had he given me a reason to trust him? Would I find any reason in the world to distrust him? I would.

Once in the garage, and once we'd stopped, Alice climbed out and immediately opened my door for me. I hesitated, unsure.

"Come on." She said, "It's okay."

"Maybe I should go back." I mumbled. I was intimidated. Scared. I didn't exactly know what was going on, but it had become suddenly clear to me that they knew something about me that I didn't know, and I didn't like that. Carlisle stood from the car as well, but I stayed.

"It'll be okay." She peered in at me, but I had to stay firm. Not when it came to not knowing where I stood. It wasn't that I didn't trust them. I just didn't like not being told everything. I shook my head, choosing to stay sitting.

"Come inside." Carlisle spoke now, and I looked up at him, "Just for a moment." It was quiet as I debated. I really wasn't so sure anymore. Did I really _have_ to be so worried? Was it really _that_ important? They hadn't hurt me yet. That was the deciding factor. They'd been absolutely nothing but kind to me. More kind than I deserved. Maybe it wasn't so bad.

"It's alright." Carlisle prompted, and slowly, I moved. Standing from the car with a quiet sigh.

As I followed Alice toward the door inside the garage, probably leading into the house, I had to stop. Whimpering as my vision suddenly became unsteady. The room spun, and I reached out. Alice willingly caught me, keeping me upright as I nearly lost all strength in my legs.

I'd gone too long without eating. I knew exactly what it was causing me to feel like this, because I'd felt like this before.

I prayed I didn't pass out, breathing slowly with my eyes closed tightly. Opening my eyes briefly, I noticed Carlisle now looked me over. I knew what he was seeing. When I got like this, I always noticed I lost a lot of color from my face. Which was bad, considering when that happened, more bruises were visible.

I looked up at him, dizzily managing to hold his gaze.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" He asked, concerned. I considered my options carefully. Would they believe me if I lied, and told them only a day? A day wasn't so bad. I opened my eyes, glancing to my hand holding tight to Alice's, trying to stay upright.

After just a few seconds, my cooperation decided then to run. The nervousness overwhelmed me, and going with my instincts, I wanted to get away from what made me nervous.

"I have to go back." I mumbled, shaking my head. Trying to release Alice's hand. She wouldn't let me go, however, so I whimpered. I was getting more worried, more intimidated as more seconds passed.

Something told me I didn't have to be afraid of these near strangers, but a more dominant part of my personality told me I had to get out of having to admit anything about Jack. I'd cooperated up until that point, but that had to stop if I wanted to keep my life.

"Leandra-"

"Take me back." I said, "Please." I looked up, meeting Alice's eyes. She had to see my worry, my fear. I was fighting this. I knew what they were trying to do. I could see it. The pressure I felt with that one realization was enough to stop my cooperation right in its tracks.

They saw something that told them something wasn't right, and I knew they were just trying to get me to admit it. To admit to what he did, and just like that, I became a brick wall. I had to put a stop to it, and now.

"No." Alice replied, "It's okay, Leandra." I knew by her tone, that I was right. That's what this was about.

"Take me back." I insisted.

"I know what he does." She finally sighed, catching my attention. It made sense now. She was trying to help me, but she didn't get that I couldn't be helped.

"No you don't." I had to correct her. Who was she to pretend she understood? There was no way anyone could.

"Bet me." She told me quietly, and suddenly, I wasn't so sure.

"You don't." I mumbled, looking down, "There's nothing to know."

"Leandra, please." Carlisle spoke again, and I looked to him again, "Let's discuss this inside."

"There's nothing to discuss." I insisted firmly, "There's nothing." The sure, calm way he looked at me had me getting even more defensive. He seemed to already know. Like he could see right through my words. What was the point?

"Leandra." Alice's tone was quiet, and she knew what I was attempting to do. I stopped resisting so much, whimpering quietly.

"B-But.." I trailed off, unable to really find an excuse. I needed her to understand, just a little, that what she wanted me to do was so far beyond what I could do, it wasn't going to happen just like that.

"Come inside-" Alice started.

"You're going to make it worse." I finally cried, instantly in tears, "You can't help me." I took a gasping breath in, taking a step back as she tried to hug me, "Nobody can. I didn't _ask_ for help. I don't need it."

"Those are two completely different things, Leandra." Carlisle's voice had me look to him, letting out a few sobs, "Not asking for help, and not needing it, are completely separate issues."

"I don't need it." I insisted, "Why can't I just be left alone?"

"Five minutes." Alice finally said, "If I can't convince you in five minutes, then I'll take you back myself. I promise, but you have to come inside. It's cold out here, and I know you'll be more comfortable inside."

That shut me up. I didn't like it, but she said. Five minutes. The longer I stood there resisting, the longer I'd be here. Five minutes didn't seem so bad.

"Okay." I agreed quietly. She smiled a little, taking my hand more comfortably and leading me the rest of the way inside. I was cooperating again, but the way she told me she knew left little doubt. How on earth would she know? I mean, I knew my behavior hadn't been the best, but how did that indicate Jack had anything to do with it? I could just be a bad kid.

Looking around myself, I ignored the sense of familiarity. My tired, still crying eyes studied everything I saw closely. It was undeniable, however, how I did recognize things. It was such an unreal feeling, but I hid it the best I could.

Alice released my hand slowly, and I looked around. On my own now.

My tears slowly stopped, as I hesitantly put my hand on the edge of the counter. This was really starting to freak me out, and it was becoming less and less ignorable. I'd been here. Like the strongest sense of Deja Vu I'd ever felt.

I wasn't about to tell Alice that, though. Not until I knew.

I jumped sharply, looking back at the door closing behind me. It was just Carlisle. I was shaken up, the slightest things setting me more on edge. My heart pounded, curious and scared at the same time.

"Relax." Alice told me quietly, "You're fine here." I didn't bother replying to that. I wished my thoughts would slow down. I was so tense, I didn't think I'd ever take another normal breath again. She smiled a little at me, "Come on."

I followed her now.

Alice led me through the kitchen, where we'd entered, and into the next room. The living room. I spotted everyone immediately, and despite their friendly expressions, I instantly felt intimidated. Particularly by the big one. The one smirking at me that day. I recalled Alice calling him Emmett.

"Uh.." I mumbled, stepping closer to Alice's side.

"Leandra, I said you're fine here, and I mean that." She murmured, seeing my discomfort, "I wouldn't tell you that if it wasn't true." I trembled. I was already regretting agreeing to this. If Jack found out I wasn't there, I was done for. My thoughts kept returning to that, and being locked in the box for three days. That scared me more than any beating.

I looked up as someone decended the stairs. I recognized her almost as much as I recognized Carlisle, but this made me sad. Would I ever stop meeting new people I already knew?

I'd dreamed about her too, and I missed her. It was just a little stronger than the way I recognized the others, so I was taken off guard. I did something now, however, that I hadn't done with any of the others. Just officially meeting her for the first time, she came to stand in front of me. Offering her hand in greeting.

"Hello, honey." She smiled, and I just looked up at her for a moment. Instead of taking her offered hand, I stepped forward and hugged her. My tears restarting as I held onto her. I had no way to hold back the emotion. No way at all.

I remembered her, and one question echoed through my mind, tripling the emotion I felt. How could people I barely remembered from a _dream_ I'd had already mean so much to me? I'd been so preoccupied with wondering _why_ I'd dream about them, that I refused to focus on the fact that I had.

I had dreamed about them, and I hated waking up. That should be all that mattered.

"Oh." She murmured, surprised. She gave a quiet laugh, "I see." She gently returned the embrace, but the pressure she did give to my back hurt. I gave a quiet cry, but refused to let go. Squeezing my eyes shut tighter.

She was worried, however, "Did I hurt you, honey?"

"No." I mumbled, "It wasn't you."

After I'd calmed down enough, I let her go. Stepping back.

"I'm sorry." I told her, my voice quiet, "I didn't mean to-"

"It's perfectly alright." She assured me, smiling. Offering me comfort.

"Leandra, this is Esme." Alice told me, and I nodded. Alice smiled a little at Esme, before looking back down at me, "Esme, do you think you can make something for her to eat?" I perked up slightly, looking to Alice, "She hasn't eaten in awhile."

"Of course." Esme seemed only too happy to do so. I looked up at Alice, both surprised and hesitantly hopeful as I hesitantly turned to follow Esme as she started back the way we'd come.

"It's okay." Alice assured me, "Go ahead." I didn't argue this time. I just followed her.

Whatever this talk with Alice was, waited until after I was done eating. It was just Esme and I in the kitchen, which I was fine with. Alice and Carlisle stayed in the living room, talking quietly with the others. I could hear their muted voices, but I couldn't hear what they said.

I kept looking in that direction, wondering what Alice could be telling them.

"You don't need to worry." Esme assured me quietly as I ate, and I looked up at her, "Nobody is going to bother you here."

"It's not that I'm worried about them bothering me." I replied quietly, "I'm worried that they'll all look too closely. Alice says she knows, but I just don't believe her. The longer I'm here, the harder it'll be to still go back."

"Why is that?" She asked gently.

"Because I don't want to leave." I admitted, "At home.." I sighed, pausing, "It's hard to explain. I can't say I'm unwanted, but it's tough." I found it very easy to talk to her. Like I knew she wouldn't actually do anything unless I told her she could. She would just listen. Be there. She was safe to talk to.

"I wish nobody would look." I continued admitting, "It just makes it harder."

"Alice is just worried." She replied, "She isn't trying to make anything harder on you."

"I know." I mumbled, "But that's just how it is. I can't have friends. If Jack knew I had friends, he'd be so mad." She chose not to reply to that, "I try not to piss him off, but nothing I ever do is right. I can never do anything right." I was coming closer to venting how I felt. I had to stop myself.

"Darling, let me tell you something." She sighed after a moment of silence, "No child should ever feel that way. That isn't how it's supposed to be." I knew that. I knew it was wrong what he did, but there was nothing I could do. I kept my eyes down.

"How long has it been, honey?" She asked, and I pursed my lips, "Since you've eaten?" I knew what she meant.

"It's been.." I sighed, "It's been awhile."

"How long is awhile?" She asked, "I'm just trying to understand. You don't need to worry."

"Five days." I admitted, shyly looking up. I hoped she wasn't mad, for the weirdest reason I thought she would be.

"Five days?" She was only concerned. I nodded a little.

"The longest I've ever gone is eight days." I told her, "But that was during the summer. When I couldn't eat at school."

"Why so long this time, honey?"

"The weekend," I answered, "Monday was the field trip, yesterday I couldn't get to the cafeteria because Rachel was looking for me, and I stayed home today." I answered her honestly, "I avoid Rachel if I can, just so she can't make fun of me."

She sighed, but was otherwise quiet. Nodding, she gave me a sad smile. Watching as I continued to eat. I really couldn't eat much, unfortunately. As amazing as it was, I could only eat as much as I had by taking breaks.

I stepped back into the living room with Esme beside me, and looked around at everyone again. I tried to leave again, but Alice calmed me down. Reminding me that I was safe there. I already knew that, but another part of me wanted to just go. I didn't like how long this was taking.

I was officially introduced to Emmett and Rosalie, and I greeted Jasper and Edward, who I hadn't seen since that day. Edward and Jasper both watched me like they had that day.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, looking up at Edward, "About lying to you about where I lived."

"I understand." He replied quietly, giving me a nod.

"A-And.." I continued, "I'm sorry. About that day. How I left. If I hadn't of left, I'd have hit her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't." I wasn't about to mention anything about having to hide my tears from her as well.

"Leandra," He sighed, "I'm going to be honest. The last I saw you, you looked terrified. Was that him?" I looked down.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "That was him. You would be scared too if he was mad at you." I shrugged, sighing as well.

"No." He said, "I wouldn't." He was so sure, and his tone suggested he was looking forward to a chance at Jack. It puzzled me, but I just shrugged it off. He just didn't understand.

"Please be honest with me." Edward continued, "Did he hit you?" I kept my eyes on the floor, taken off guard yet again by his forward question. Why did it matter so much?

"Uh.." I mumbled, "Okay. I've been here longer than five minutes." I looked to Alice now, where she stood by the couch.

"And has anything bad happened?" She asked in return.

"Well, no.. But-"

"And besides," She continued, "I haven't even had a chance to talk to you yet." She had a point there. That ended my arguing, and I sighed. Nodding a little.

I couldn't describe how tired I was. Like I just wanted to sleep, and having a full stomach only added to that. The emotion hadn't helped. So I sat down stiffly at Esme's urging, not liking how I could clearly feel all the eyes on me. They were quiet, too. Not saying a word.

They had to see how tense I was. They had to see how tired I was. With how easily they seemed to notice things, there was no way they couldn't see those things. Reminding myself, I looked up at Carlisle.

"Is anyone going to tell me why you guys can see more than everyone else?" I finally asked.

"I need to ask what you mean by that." He replied and I sighed.

"I-I don't know." I mumbled, "Nobody notices me. That's just how it works. That day? At the school? I was sure I'd never see either one of you again. Why do you care?" That seemed to open it up for an answer. I could see it.

Alice was going to be the one to answer me, given the way she stepped forward. Probably because she'd been the one to have the most interaction with me, which I understood.

"Let me just start by saying that I know." She sighed, sitting on the couch in front of me, "I know what he does." I stiffened a little, my eyes dropping to the carpet. I didn't like this. I didn't want this. I had gotten away from the subject before, in the garage, but now there was nowhere to go.

"No, you-"

"Yes." She interrupted me with a tone so sure, I couldn't deny again, "I know." I looked away, "Just trust me, okay? I know."

"Prove it." I mumbled stupidly, "How do you know? Even if he did do anything, there's no way you'd know it. E-Even then, there's nothing to prove."

"Raise your sleeves." She challenged, "Or your pant legs." I froze, stiffening even more in my seat, "Show me clean skin, and we'll stop this right now." I didn't say anything, nor do as she asked. I just sat there, holding her gaze nervously. She sighed, "That's not even all." What could she possibly mean by that?

Then I understood. I felt my face pale, and subtly, I drew in on myself in defense. Tensing as I felt my breath catch slightly.

I wasn't exactly scared, but that was the only way I knew how to describe it. How would she know? There was no way anyone could know about what happened at night, unless either I or Jack told someone. I was more guarded about that than being beaten, so there was no way I would ever tell anyone, and I knew for a fact Jack wouldn't.

She waited, probably waiting for me to continue denying it. I trembled, sitting there.

"As if hitting you weren't enough." She murmured, more to herself than to anyone else when I didn't say a word. Her tone was sad, and I just felt lucky she wasn't angry at me, "I haven't, and I won't tell anyone." I looked to her again, "That's up to you to do, but I just want you to know that you're not alone anymore, okay?"

"How do you know about that?" I asked almost silently, "Nobody knows about that."

"The same way you know who I am." She answered, "The same way you know who Edward is. Or Carlisle. The house. You've seen it before."

Her tone held just a hint of excitement to it. Her sadness was still very evident, however. Despite getting onto the subject I knew she wanted to touch on. Not enough to fully scare me, though. It was silent for a moment, as I thought about what she was telling me.

Was now my chance to get some answers? About the dream, about knowing them?

"When did you see us, Leandra?" She asked, "I know you did." I was quiet, not sure if I should say anything.

"I'm not crazy." I mumbled, and she instantly shook her head.

"Of course not." She said, leaving no doubt she was telling me the truth, "I know you're not." I studied her expression, suddenly so sure I could trust her. Out of nowhere, I was calmer. Comforted by the fact that she was asking me about this. I was still tired, but not nearly as guarded.

"I don't even really know." I finally murmured, "I can't figure it out, but.." I paused, and she waited. Obviously very interested in what I had to say. I fidgeted nervously, glancing around. She wasn't the only one listening closely. Until I looked back to her. She was the one I was talking to. Not everyone else.

"I dreamed about you." I sighed, looking down, "Two days ago. The night before the field trip, when I woke up. I don't remember it, but I'd dreamed. About you, and Edward. Carlisle, Esme, the house. Everyone. I don't know why, or even how, but I did." She smiled a little, "I didn't know that was where I remembered you from at first. I think that's why I asked you what I did."

I suddenly had to keep talking, knowing she was listening. Knowing they were listening.

"I don't remember anything, except you." I wished I could make my voice stronger, "And I remember.." I paused, trailing off, "It was a really long dream. I remember a lot happened in it, but I don't remember anything about what it is that happened."

I paused again, looking down at my hands, "A-And I remember.. I remember the way I really didn't want to wake up." Despite the calm I felt talking to her about this, the sudden overwhelming sadness I felt took me off guard. Glancing at her, I could see she knew how much this bothered me. The sad concern in her eyes told me she heard it, "I wished so much that the dream had been real, because even though I don't remember it, it hurt _so_ much to open my eyes."

"I was just trying to forget it." I explained, "I just wanted to forget about it, because I knew no part of it was real. Just like all the other times. Then I saw you. In that class that day. That's all I know." All this emotion was making me tired.

"I think I can explain that." She said, and I looked up, "Leandra, are you familiar with gifts?"

"Gifts?" I asked quietly, frowning, "Like for birthdays and stuff?"

"No." She shook her head a little, "Abilities. Things you can do that other people can't do." I was still pretty confused, so she smiled, "You can see the future." I blinked in surprise, frowning. It took a moment for me to actually believe she meant what she said.

Now I knew she had to be nuts.

"You're joking, right?" I asked, but given the fact that nobody smirked or even seemed amused told me they all believed it. I couldn't believe this.

"Right." I snorted, shaking my head, "Okay, take me back now."

"How else would you know me?" She asked firmly, "Or anyone else? Leandra, you know as well as I do that we've never met before, but part of your mind _has_ met us before." I glanced to Carlisle standing there. Listening quietly.

"I don't know." I sighed, frustrated, "Maybe I've just met someone like you before. That's the only thing I can think of." Even I knew that was a lie. I'd never met anyone like them. Ever. I knew damn well that it wasn't possible to ever meet anyone like them and not remember it.

"Leandra, I've seen you." She said, "I saw you that day. You came in, just the way you did. I've seen what it's like for you at home. Maybe not in explicit detail, but I think I can imagine-"

"No you haven't." I argued again, "There's no way."

"Like I said," She murmured firmly but gently, "I haven't been able to see everything, but I don't need to."

"Nothing's wrong." I insisted, "Just take me back. Please." I realized I was going back on everything she did manage to get me to admit, however slightly, but I didn't care.

I was back to denying, and she recognized that immediately.

"I know why you're scared, but you don't have to be." She murmured, "Not here. Nobody here is ever going to hurt you." I didn't know what to say to that. Looking down, my resolve crumbling even as I stood up.

"How else would I know?" She pressed, standing up with me, "Leandra, you can't go back."

"He said he'd try." I blurted, shaking my head, "You'd know that if you-"

"Trying, and doing are two totally different things." She told me gently. I glanced to the clock. I'd already been here for over an hour. I was cutting it too close for my taste.

"You're fine." She assured me, "He's going to be thirty minutes late today." I looked back to her, unsure. I was listening now. She was quiet for a moment, as if debating before she spoke again, "And when you told us two hours, you purposefully left off half an hour, so you essentially still have two more hours."

Taking half a step back, I was suddenly intimidated. Yet again, she managed to know something only I would know. There was absolutely no way she'd know that. I was closer to believing her, but I was also more afraid. What else would she know? And if she knew that, then there was a very good chance she actually did know everything about what Jack did to me.

"This isn't funny anymore." I whimpered. I didn't like the way she knew. I didn't like this.

"It never has been." She replied, sighing. She sat back down, probably to ease my nerves. Everyone else stood around, and that was probably what made me so nervous now, "Leandra, what you have is a very powerful ability."

"I don't have anything." I couldn't help the tears that fell, "I'm nothing special." I trembled where I stood now, suddenly so upset. I stayed quiet, closing my eyes. I just needed to rest. This was way too hard on me. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe her. I wanted to, but I knew that what she was telling me was untrue. I wasn't special in any way.

I took a few deep breaths, forcing myself to calm down. I had to pull this off. I needed them to believe me.

"Take me back." I turned, "Time's up."

"Leandra-"

"You promised." I reminded her firmly, despite the tears that still trailed down my cheeks. I crossed my arms over my chest. I was being unreasonable, I knew, but I was scared. I wanted to save myself the only way I knew how. Lessening the punishment.

"I know that I promised, but if you'd just listen-"

"No." I said firmly, "You said. You said you'd take me back if you couldn't convince me in five minutes. I'm not convinced, and it's been seven." She sighed, giving me a look as she sat there. I sighed as well, "Fine. I'll walk back myself."

I was fighting this, because I was scared. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe I had some purpose to living. That would have been amazing to have, but I was scared.

"You don't have to go back." Alice told me firmly, "Let us help you, Leandra. Please." When she put it like that, it sent an almost echoing sense of familiarity to me. Even more than before, and as much as I tried, I couldn't figure it out. I stood there, silent for a few seconds, trying to remember anything at all about that dream.

When I couldn't, but kept the sense of knowing, it scared me even more.

"Yes I do." I replied, "I have to go back." Nobody was listening to me, "Before he gets back, and knows I left." She waited. I recalled Jack's earlier threats of the box, and I took a step back. More convinced than before that here wasn't where I should be.

"Alice." Edward called her attention, gaining mine as well. He sighed sadly, and gave her a nod. I didn't know what that was supposed to be, but I wasn't about to waste more time by asking.

Silence followed me as I sighed heavily, giving Esme beside me a pleading look before I turned around and left the room. I was headed for the garage, knowing for sure that was a way out.

Pausing before I closed the door behind me, I listened. I could just make out their words.

"We've got to be careful." Alice murmured, "If we push too hard, she's going to run. The point of all of this was to get her to trust us. If she insists on going home, we have to let her."

"She's scared." Jasper's voice was quieter than the others.

"With good reason." Edward added, a hint of bitterness in his voice, "You can't even imagine, Carlisle."

"You can't be serious." Rosalie spoke up now, "We just let her go back?"

"If we push this, all it's going to prove to her is that we'll never listen to what she says." Alice reasoned quietly, "I don't like the idea any more than you do, but it needs to be her choice to trust us enough to ask for help. That's just how it is. If we push her, she'll push back. She'll fight every step of the way, probably wind up resenting us, and that's not what we want."

"Or I can go there right now and kill the sick son-of-a-"

"No, Rosalie." Esme corrected, "No. We can't just go around doing that."

"_Tell_ me you don't want to do that as much as I do." Rosalie was angry, "Come on. So I won't kill him. I'll just break a few bones, and leave him alive."

She hadn't even seen my bruises. I sighed, my head aching. Did I really want to try walking back myself? It'd take me forever, ensuring I didn't get there before Jack did.

"Leandra." Alice called from inside the house. I quickly turned, sitting on the step just inside the garage. Acting like I hadn't just heard what I heard. The door opened behind me, and I glanced up at Alice, before looking back down at my hands on my drawn up knees.

"I don't like making people fight." I mumbled quietly, "I never asked for help." She sighed, stepping out with me.

"I'll take you back now." She murmured, offering her hand. I hesitantly took it, letting her help me to my feet, "Under one condition." I paused, waiting, "When you've finally had enough, don't hesitate to call me." That was easy enough to nod to. She handed me a laminated card, and I looked it over, "That's Carlisle's number. Any time of day you can reach him there. No matter what."

I nodded, looking it over.

"If you ever just need to talk, you can always just call anyway." She seemed so sad, "If you have any questions. Need advice, or anything like that. We'll be here."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I just wish I knew how to say it right." I sighed, looking back down at the card in my hands, "All I've ever, ever wanted was for someone to see me. To notice me. Maybe that's why I dreamed about you, because you did, but I never knew before how hard it would be to actually have someone see me. I'm afraid, but not enough to get you into trouble."

"You aren't getting us into trouble, Leandra." She assured me quietly.

"Because it's my fight." I continued, "Not yours. I can handle it. I know I can."

"The offer stands, Leandra." She sighed, "No matter how long it takes. Just remember that." I nodded, appreciating the thought more than she knew.

The ride back started quiet.

"You say you can see the future too?" I asked quietly, looking over at her. She smiled a little, nodding, "Can you tell where he's taking me?"

"It's difficult to see you." She answered, "Which is why I haven't been able to see anything very specific." I nodded a little, "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on by what I have seen, though."

"Why can't you see me?" I asked, frowning.

"I didn't say I couldn't." She replied, "Just that it's difficult. I do know that we'll be friends for a long time, so don't worry about that." I liked that thought.

"You're not mad at me?" I had to ask.

"Of course not." She replied, appalled at the very idea, "Why would I be mad at you?"

"For how I acted." I answered, looking down at my hands, "I do and say stuff I don't normally say or do when I'm scared."

"And we understand that, Leandra." She told me gently, "No, none of us are mad at you. You'll always have us on your side." I smiled a little, "Even if you were eavesdropping." I froze a bit in my seat.

"Was not." I mumbled, and she smirked.

"We also understand that it'll take a lot to earn your trust enough for you to let us help you." She continued, choosing not to argue with me on that one, "But because of your gift, and because I say so, we're willing to try."

"Because you say so?" I found that a little amusing.

"I like you." She answered, "And my family tends to listen to what I say."

"I'm not very likable." I murmured after a minute of considering that. I had to give her some sort of heads up.

"Tell that to everyone else." She countered, "You've made an impression on them too."

"I have?" I asked, and she smiled. Nodding a little.

"And believe me." She added, "It takes a lot to make an impression on us." I smiled a little more, sitting back in my seat. That made me feel better, "We just don't want you to get hurt. That's all this was today."

"I know." I murmured in reply. I did know that.

True to her word, she let me out of the car, and there was no sign of Jack home yet in the fading evening light. I sighed in relief, looking over at her. I was eased the second I noticed Jack was still gone. He wouldn't know anything about me leaving the house.

"Anytime?" I asked quietly, almost hesitantly, and she smiled sadly.

"Anytime." She confirmed, and I nodded. Letting her know I understood. I was already considering it.

I stepped inside, and reached over. Turning on the light, I sighed. Heading into my dark bedroom, peering out the window to watch her drive away.

It was very good to know that I hadn't lost her as friend because of this. Maybe that's what I had worried about from the start? I wasn't sure. I smiled a little now, sitting on my bed. Looking over the card in the dim light from the hallway.

I not only had one friend, but a whole family of them. They were going to be there for me if I needed them to be. It was almost funny how such a simple thought could give me strength. I'd have to hide the card before Jack got home, but for now, I just wanted to look at it. It was more than just some business card to me.

Was this what hope felt like?

**A/N: I knooow how long this is. I wanted to shorten it, but cutting it off halfway seemed wrong. I needed it to end here, as I've been working on this since Halloween lol  
And if this seems rushed, I apologize. I wanted to get this out there.  
It's 2:30 in the morning, the day of my birthday. I normally don't pay any attention to my birthday, but the hubby has plans. *Grumble*  
I wanted to get this out early, so I'm not worrying in the morning. ****So yes. It's my birthday, and I'm giving you all the gift of a too-long chapter. You're welcome. (:**  
**I hope you enjoyed it! Aaaand...  
_HUUUGE_ chocolate-covered THANK YOU to my reviewers. I never tire of reading what you have to say. :D**  
**Next chapter, we finally find out where the hell Jack is taking her, and why. ****Stay tuned!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I watched the clock closely, and sure enough, Jack had been almost exactly thirty minutes late. He was actually thirty-one minutes late, before coming in the door, complaining about someone being late to show up. I didn't know what else to think, but that Alice had been right. As amazed as I was about that, I couldn't let myself focus on that.

"Leandra." Jack called for me before he even had his coat off. I came jogging out, proving that I was right where he told me to be, "Bring your bag out here, and go get mine from the closet."

I immediately did as he told me, deciding to get his first. I struggled a little under the weight of it, but managed to place it beside the couch. Before I could turn to go get mine, he caught my arm. For a moment, I whimpered. I worried. Had I done something wrong?

I looked up at him, and he looked down at me.

"How long's it been?" He asked, and I frowned a little. I didn't know what he was asking. He got irritated when I wouldn't answer, "_How_ long?"

"How long since what?" I asked in reply, and he sighed in frustration.

"Since you've eaten, stupid." He clarified, "How long has it been?"

"Five days." I answered immediately. I didn't want him to know about my little outing earlier. Admitting I'd eaten anything sooner than when he decided I could was a very good way to piss him off.

For as long as I could remember, he'd starved me. Maybe when I was younger, I got to eat at least once a day, but that stopped when I was about five and a half. One day, he looked at me, and he told me it was about time for me to lose the baby fat. That I wasn't a baby anymore. From what I remembered of that age, I was never really fat, but that could have just been me forgetting something. Or so I told myself.

As I grew older, he adjusted me to eating once every two days. Then three days. Skipping every four days, and went straight to about once a week. There was nothing he could really do about the lunches at school, considering here, they made the lunches free for the kids that went there, since there were just so few of us. Just in case someone like me came along, where neither parent could or would sign them up for normal the free lunch program. That was one thing I was grateful for.

"I'll get you something later." Jack replied, "You've gone longer." I had. He released my arm, and I immediately set out continuing doing what he told me to do. Kneeling quickly by my bag, I pulled the card back out and pocketed it. Carefully making sure no part of it could be seen. I wasn't taking any chances.

I'd protect them.

"Now go to bed." He told me once I dropped my bag by his, "We're leaving later tonight."

I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should tell him. He noticed me hesitating, narrowing his eyes a bit.

"What?" He demanded, and I jumped a little.

"I burned trash today." I told him quietly, hoping I could earn points.

"So?" He asked, as if that would mean something to him, "And I care why?"

"I-I just wanted you to know." I mumbled, shrugging a little, "I-I knew how much it builds up bothers you, and I-I thought-"

"Did you burn yourself?" He asked, and I was quiet for a moment, knowing where this was going.

"Well, no." I admitted, "B-But I-"

"Next time, burn yourself." He barked, "Now go to bed." He repeated, and I looked down. I only gave him a nod this time, and did as he said. I didn't want to push him. As sad as that made me, I wasn't too disappointed. Not as upset as I normally would have been over his cruel words. Closing my door behind me. I smiled a little.

I laid in bed, wide awake as I looked over the card again in the dark. I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. It was quiet outside this time, no rain hit the house. I listened to the crickets, though, which told me rain wasn't in the forecast tonight. Thankfully. For once, my thoughts weren't on what to dread what was coming later in the night. Not all of them, anyway.

It was amazing to me that somehow, the fact that I remembered them was enough to grab their attention. Alice had told me she liked me. I doubted she knew how much that meant to me. She'd never know how much that meant to me.

It would take me awhile to figure this out, but I felt like they would wait. I hoped, anyway. What I heard while eavesdropping was probably right. If they pushed me, I'd push back. I always did that. I knew they didn't mean literally, but I didn't like people pushing me. I hurt one of my classmates by pushing him over when he said something mean to me. He came to school the next day with a brace on his wrist. I doubted I could push any of the Cullens that hard, but I could sure try. I didn't know myself well enough to predict if she was right or not, but it did make sense to me.

Of course, I couldn't tell her that. Telling her that would mean I'd have to admit to listening in.

She didn't seem mad that I was listening in. I was only curious. I wanted to know what they had to say about me when I wasn't in the room. That wasn't so bad, was it?

Okay, I reasoned with myself. When we got back from wherever we were going, I would apologize for it.

I frowned a little as I realized that I no longer heard the crickets. They'd gone silent outside my window. That usually didn't happen so quickly once they'd started up. I was just about to pull back the sheet covering the window, and look around outside when I heard the unmistakable sound of Jack's bedroom door opening across the house.

I rolled over quickly with a quiet gasp. Stuffing the card into the tear in the mattress against the wall. Knowing it'd be safe there. Dammit, I thought to myself. Couldn't he just leave me alone tonight? Just one night.

I curled into a small ball with my back to the door just in time for my bedroom door to open. This was nothing new. I squeezed my eyes shut, cringing into my mattress as I heard him step closer to the bed. I bit my lip, holding my breath. Trying to pretend I was sleeping, but it really wasn't working out that way. It never did work.

Jumping as I felt his hand on my arm. Flinching as if his hand had burned me, but this time, his grip was different.

"Time to go." Was all he told me as I rolled over, looking up at him, "Get up, and get dressed." I could only watch in confusion as he turned, leaving the room again. Leaving the door open as he did so. I didn't dare move until I saw the light in the living room turn on.

Did that really just happen?

Who the hell was he, and what had he done with Jack? Not a single curse word, no slaps, no hits. He didn't even really touch me, aside from getting my attention. I had to remember how to close my mouth as I sat up. Maybe he just didn't want to wear himself out before going somewhere?

My panicked breathing had yet to slow down, but I did as he said to. Carefully climbing off the bed. I paused to grab the card again, hiding it in my blanket as I got dressed. I debated with myself if I should wear one of my new sweaters.

Jack would find out about them sooner or later, so I decided. Why not? I liked it. It was a dark purple color, with three light purple stripes across the top of the front. Heavy, and warm, which I'd probably need since we were leaving before midnight. The best thing about it, was that it didn't have any holes that weren't supposed to be there.

I left my room, headed straight for my bag still sitting beside the couch.

Sure enough, the zipper was half way open. Which told me Jack had gone through it. He must have approved of how I'd packed it. Since he didn't take everything out and make me redo it. I was suddenly thankful for deciding to remove the card before going to bed. Smiling a little to myself, I realized I'd made the right decision the night before.

I was the one to carry both bags out to the truck, but Jack took them from me to throw them into the backseat. The bed of the truck was too wet to put anything in there, so I'd be scrunched in the back with them for awhile.

"Get in." He told me, and I did my best to do so. It was weird trying to get in on his side of the truck.

My shoe slipped off the step, and I mumbled a quiet, "Ow." As I landed painfully. Before Jack lifted me by the back of my sweater, and pushed me in. If he noticed my new sweater, he didn't say anything. I grunted in discomfort, but I was alright.

I scrambled to get out of his way as he wasn't waiting for me to move before sitting down. I made it into the back just as he started the truck. He was in a rush it seemed. Clearly, given the way he was starting this trip before midnight. Who does that?

Settling in the small open spot in the back passenger seat on the backseat bench, the bags beside me actually making me feel more secure.

Once we got going, I had to snooze. I was actually very tired. I should have slept instead of lay awake in bed all night, but I couldn't help it. My mind had been so busy, and it still was, but there were other things I had to focus on now.

Jack seemed just fine with very little sleep, but I was so tired. I leaned against the window, and it was pitch dark outside, so I just closed my eyes. Curled into a tiny ball, I did my best to sleep.

I still hadn't the slightest clue where we were going, but I knew by now not to ask questions. So I just went with it. That was all I could do. Despite how I would have preferred to stay. At least, though, Alice knew I wasn't going to be home. That was a plus, so I didn't have to worry about her being disappointed.

Jack didn't seem to mind letting me sleep. For a little while, anyway.

The radio was on low, playing some old rock song. Listening to him singing along with it under his breath, and the quiet roar of the partially open window was the white noise I needed to sleep. This was normal. I knew this.

Opening my eyes, I looked up out the window. The interstate was bare this time of night, aside from truckers or another random car. I tried to wait. I tried to see any sort of mileage sign, but I couldn't stay awake for very long.

Smelling the cigarette smoke that managed to waft back at me, I actually did manage to sleep. As much as I hated him, he was the only family I had. As much as I hated him, I couldn't help feeling something like comfort when I was with him. He was familiar, and I felt like I knew his behaviors well enough to know when I needed to be cautious. For the first time in awhile, I didn't need to be cautious.

I couldn't remember the dream I'd been having when I felt him tapping my leg.

"Hey. Wake up." He muttered, and I sleepily opened my eyes, "Get up here. Sit with me for a minute." I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes while doing as he told me to do. That almost didn't work, as I nearly tripped myself on the passenger seat. My foot getting caught on the seat back. I had to try again.

We were stopped somewhere, which only then registered to me. The radio was still on, and the parking lot we sat in was a gas station. He must have already had to stop for gas. He probably didn't fill up the truck before we left.

It was eerie here at night.

I yawned, climbing over the center console as he flipped it up. His hand actually supporting me on my quest between the seats. Creating a seat in the middle for me to sit down in right beside him.

I continued rubbing my eyes, whimpering a little in my sleepiness.

"Here." He pulled a bag up from the floorboard, reaching into it, pulling something out. He gave me a small smug smile, and I realized what he was offering me. It was a bar of chocolate. I gasped a little, looking up as I didn't hesitate in taking it.

The last time I'd had anything like this was when I'd stolen it from someone at school.

"Thank you." I immediately said, and he grunted in response. Nodding. I carefully unwrapped it as he sighed, setting the bag back down. Continuing on with his cigarette. Looking to the clock on the radio, it said we'd already been gone for two and a half hours. Two and a half hours from home, I wondered where we were.

"Later," He said, "We'll stop and get something to eat." I nodded, knowing he wouldn't tell me twice. Maybe he really was trying. I nibbled eagerly on the chocolate, not wanting him to think I was ungrateful in any way. This was such a rare thing.

"When we get to where we're going," He spoke again, "I want you on your best behavior." He paused, looking to me, "You know what that means, right?"

"Don't speak, don't move around, and don't look at anyone too long." I answered sleepily, and he chuckled.

"Good." He nodded, "That's right." I felt a very slight pang of relief. I'd done something right, "You'll be meeting someone important, so don't go running your mouth. Got it?"

"I won't." I replied, "I promise." As long as he held the offer of food up over me, I would have done my best to do a backflip if it meant making him happy. It happened so rarely, I knew never to let the opportunity pass. He reached over, and I glanced up at him as he started lazily running his fingers through my hair. Almost like he was petting me. I waited for the violent pull, but it never came.

This wasn't so bad. He wasn't yelling at me. He wasn't hitting me. I eased ever so slightly, adjusting how I sat. Closing and resting my eyes tiredly.

"There will be kids there." He continued, looking to me again, "About your age." I waited for his point, "Unless they talk to you first, don't say anything to them, either. Got it?" His fingers continued running through my hair. It felt a lot nicer than when he was trying to pull it all out.

"I won't." I repeated, "Nothing."

"But don't be rude." He added calmly, "Or I'll tan your hide." I shook my head, "I'm testing you, kid. Don't disappoint me. You know I hate being disappointed." I shook my head again, more vigorously this time. I did know he hated being disappointed. That was something I knew to try not to do.

He watched me for a few moments, until he sighed. Flicking the cigarette butt out the window, he reached over and lifted me. I stiffened in response.

"H-Hey, wait.." I mumbled, snapping my eyes open and looking around wildly, wondering what he was doing until he settled me on his lap. Thoughts of sleep flew out the window as he adjusted my weight, me facing away from him.

I didn't want to ask questions, so I just concentrated on the chocolate I nervously nibbled on. This was new. I attempted to move, to crawl back over to where I was sitting, but he righted me easily.

"Relax." He told me firmly, "You're fine." If he thought that tone of voice was soothing, he was mistaken. With both his hands on my shoulders, he held me there. I didn't try moving again, despite how much I wanted to.

Wide eyed, I trembled a little at first, waiting for what he was going to do.

As it turned out, he just wanted me to sit there. After he was sure I wasn't going to bolt, he removed his hands, giving my shoulders a light squeeze before doing so. Despite how light the squeeze was, it still made me wince. What was he doing?

Cooperation was all he was looking for, and just going with it was the right thing to do, because after only a few minutes of sitting there, he sighed.

"Alright." He mumbled, reaching up and placing his hand on my left shoulder, lightly shoving me sideways. I tumbled off his lap, sprawling ungracefully back onto the seat beside him.

Nothing had happened. It was like he just got bored of me sitting there.

I glanced up at him as I righted myself, confused. He gave me a calm look, not angry at my puzzled state. Reaching out, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes, once more shaking out two.

"Get used to that." Was all he said. His bitter tone wasn't angry. Just unhappy. Hey, if that's all he did now, was have me sit on his lap, I would be happy. If cooperating with that meant less pain for me, I'd do it.

He gave me no explanation, and I didn't ask for one. I just took the lit cigarette he offered, sitting beside him in silence. We didn't speak the entire time I smoked, but I was getting tired again.

"Go back there." He told me once I tossed my cigarette out the window, and I slowly got moving, "Go back to sleep." I made sure to take my chocolate with me, settling back into my spot. I watched him start up the truck again. What that was all about was beyond me, but whatever it was all about hadn't hurt me, so I didn't care. I was confused, but I wasn't about to piss him off by asking about it.

Was that going to happen all the time now? He'd never really done that before, and when he had, it'd been so different. He hadn't made me sit on his lap since I was four. I didn't like it back then, either, because there was always something wrong with doing that.

This time was different, though. That something wrong wasn't there this time, weirdly enough. Oh well, I figured. That's his business.

We got going again, and as confused as I was, I closed my eyes again.

I slept for a little while longer after that, and I opened my eyes to bright sunlight out. It was just barely morning, and the sun on my face felt strange to me. I'd opened my eyes just as he was taking an exit off the interstate. Somewhere in a place called Eugene. I recognized that as being somewhere in Oregon. No wonder it was sunny.

Having slept in the cramped backseat all night, sitting upright on a stiff bench, my muscles protested. Igniting the pain in the bruises I had, and now that I was aware of it, they hurt triple fold.

"Ow." I whimpered, and he glanced back at me. Noting the fact that I was now awake.

"Stop complaining." Was all he told me as he came to a stop sign. I rested my tired eyes a bit, waiting for more instructions.

He decided to stop at a gas station to eat, but I didn't mind where it was. My guess was he didn't want me dying while we were meeting whoever I was going to meet. He was usually more careful than that. Especially since he didn't know I'd eaten much more recently than he thought.

He filled up the truck, and pulled me out by my hand. Practically tugging me across the parking lot to the small diner there. I had trouble keeping up. I looked up at him, noticing the way he didn't even look at me. His stern blue eyes focused on where we were going instead.

I yawned, and shivered. For it being sunny, it was a little chilly here, and I was cold. I didn't like him holding my hand, so I tried to pull my hand from his. He still didn't look at me, only gripping my hand tighter the second I moved my hand in his. I hated when he did this. Pretending he was anything but someone who I lived with, and someone who tormented me constantly. Him holding my hand like he was my dad was such a big lie, it made me want to throw up.

This trip wasn't turning out half bad, though, despite the mystery the night before. It was sunny here, wherever we'd ended up, and it showed through the window. It was hard to see, as my eyes weren't adjusted yet, but I ate. Whatever was in front of me, I ate it.

"Here." He said, sliding his glass toward me, "You're going to want to stay awake."

"What is it?" I asked, peering into the red colored clear glass at the brown, bubbly liquid inside.

"Just drink it." He muttered through clenched teeth. Choosing not to piss him off this early in the trip, I hesitantly took a sip through the straw. This was something I'd never had before, and considering my glass only held water, I was expecting it to taste like water. How wrong I was.

This was sweet. Very sugary, and the bubbles almost burned my mouth with how sharp it was. So this was what soda was like. I wrinkled my nose a bit, looking up at him.

"Go ahead." He told me, firmer now. So I did. The bubbles took some getting used to, but once I had, I found I didn't mind it so much. It tasted okay.

"Oh, you're going to have one heck of a drive home, sir." The waitress had come by again, laughing as she noticed me drinking from his glass. I knew how it went. Looking up, she'd noticed me. That was bad, so I had to do everything I could to become less of a fascination. I smiled sheepishly up at her, slowly sliding the glass back over to Jack. She laughed again, shaking her head.

She looked to him again, and I looked away. I really deserved some kind of medal. It was just _so_ easy to squash suspicion or divert attention.

"She's precious." The waitress commented, smiling sweetly at Jack. He looked to me. She just wouldn't stop noticing me. I grit my teeth. Looks like it's going to be the entire act this time.

"Isn't she?" He chuckled. He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side like he often did. False show of affection. Lesson number one. I reached up, holding onto his arm. Mostly to try to keep him from smashing me, but to the waitress watching, it looked for all the world like I cared about him too.

"It's so nice to see a father spending time with his daughter." She smiled, "I have a little girl at home, and let me tell you. I'd _love_ for her to have such a dedicated father." Single mother. I looked up at her, then to Jack. I suddenly wondered if this was about the same way he met my mom. He laughed, refusing to meet my eyes.

Jack really was a charming guy. He could charm his way out of anything, just by smiling at the right person in the right way. I tuned out their conversation as he gently released me. I took his glass again as I scooted over a little, sipping from it steadily now as I looked out the window.

My thoughts held fast to thoughts of my mom now. I wondered strongly if she'd have changed her mind if someone had warned her.

Jack held her attention now, and I couldn't help listening to her giggles. I didn't like the sound. It meant she was falling for it. The same act he gave all the women. Leading them easily to believe he was such a great guy. I hated the way I helped him. If she only _knew_.

Jack stood up after placing a rather large amount of cash on the table, giving her a smile as I followed him.

"Have a good day." The waitress called after him as he turned, heading for the door. I hesitated just a second, looking up at her. She met my eyes and gave me a smile.

"Take care of her." Was all I said to her. Her smile faded slightly, watching me as I turned, and jogged to catch up to him.

We hadn't stayed long. Back on the interstate before an hour had even passed. This time, I paid attention. We were going south. Obviously, but it was still news to me. Even more south?

I was allowed to stay up front this time as we continued on. He obviously knew where he was going, as he didn't even need a map.

"We'll stop tonight at a hotel." He informed me and I looked over at him. That was all he said, but I could tell he was tired. I didn't understand what his rush was, but I wasn't going to point that out.

I figured out quickly why he had me drink that soda. It was difficult to sit still, much less sleeping. I was wide awake. More than I had been in awhile.

Sometime around six-thirty in the evening, he took an exit, and I was never more relieved. I understood the rush now, as sitting in a seat for so long was quickly taking its toll on me. Worse than sleeping in the back. My butt and my hips were in so much pain, and as much as I knew moving around would help that, there wasn't much I could do.

We found our room, and with my bag in hand, I was herded in first. He shut the door behind him, and immediately pulled on the chain lock. Looking around the room, I hated the sight of just one bed. The tiny room didn't even have a TV in it.

"Get clean, and get to sleep." He told me, "Early start tomorrow." I nodded, letting him know I heard him. I half hoped, that with as tired as he was, that he wouldn't be interested in me that night.

Pulling his shirt off, followed by kicking his shoes off, I waited.

"Jack?" I asked quietly, watching as he laid down with a heavy sigh. He didn't reply, and I stood there until I heard his quiet snores just a few minutes later. I had questions.

I was feeling brave, I guess, so as I took my shower, I wanted to try turning just a little bit of hot water on. Just to see what it felt like. I really wasn't looking forward to the cold of the water, but I was worried he'd know.

I didn't, though. Too scared, and the thought of Jack finding out made me refrain from doing so. So I suffered through the cold, because I just knew he'd know. Somehow.

I quickly crawled under the thin blanket beside him, trembling from the cold. I was thanking myself for deciding against the hot water, as my trembles must have woken him up. He turned half way to face me, pressing the back of his hand to my ice cold cheek, and chuckled sleepily.

"Good." He told me again, rolling over until his back was to me. I curled tighter in the blanket, my mind already busy.

How did I know that was going to happen? It had happened before, too. With the card. Knowing not to do something, to avoid getting onto Jack's bad side. I guess I'd always had that skill, but could that be considered part of the gift Alice was talking about?

I always figured that was brought on by being trained the way I was from the time I was little. Always staying out from underfoot, trying to avoid problems before they happened. They always happened anyway, but they'd be worse if I didn't try to avoid them. There was no doubt that dreaming about Alice was odd, especially the night before I met her, but could that _really_ have anything to do with me having some sort of gift? An ability?

The only gift I had was knowing when I was about to get beaten. Was that how I always knew to get moving before he did? With that question, it opened up the idea. Maybe Alice wasn't so crazy after all. Could it be possible, just a little bit, that I found her for a reason? Was there some sort of way for two people with the same gift or ability to find each other? She said she saw me coming.

It was just so hard for me to believe she knew I was alive, much less my name. Very much less actually liking me. Someone like her knowing me seemed wrong to me somehow, like I never deserved such a friend. What I'd ever done to earn her friendship, I never knew. All I knew, was that I was already looking forward to going home, so I could talk to her even more.

Confident Jack would leave me alone, I let my eyes close.

Whenever I knew Jack was nearby, I never slept very deeply. Some part of my mind always half awake, waiting for something. Though tonight, I did. I wasn't waiting for anything. Probably exhausted from the trip so far, so I just fell asleep. I wished I knew where he was taking me, but so far, it hadn't been bad at all. Aside from how painful it had been sitting still for so long.

When I opened my eyes next, it was to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. Dim morning light coming through the curtains over the window. He'd left me alone, surprisingly. He never bothered me. Not even him moving to get up woke me.

I almost felt like I didn't know him anymore.

I stayed in bed, snoozing lightly as I heard him get out of the shower. A short while later, I clearly smelled the scent of his cologne. I always cringed when I smelled that. I hated it.

"Come on." He called, and I jumped. Whimpering into my pillow with a yawn, "Get up. Get dressed." That line again. Looking over at him as he stood there. He already had his jeans on, and the belt he always wore was the first thing I saw, since he was shirtless. I always tensed when I saw that. If belts could speak...

I waited for him to cuss at me for a brief few seconds, until he gave me an incredulous look, and I decided not to push it, and started getting up.

"Put your new clothes on." He instructed, "We'll get there before tonight."

I did as he said, and it felt nice to be wearing anything but those itchy old clothes. A hairbrush landed beside me on the bed, and I assumed Jack had thrown it at me. With a sinking heart, I realized he'd had to have gone into my bag to get that. Looking up at him, he didn't seem mad, so I wouldn't freak out yet. I just had to bide time until I could look.

I took the hint, brushing out my hair as he pulled a t-shirt over his head.

"Cover that," He pointed at my face, "And meet me out at the truck." With that, he lifted his bag, and left the room.

He was trusting me here alone? Don't disappoint him, I told myself. This had to be another test. Like the diner was.

I finished brushing out my long hair, kneeling beside my bag to put the brush away, when my eyes landed on the card tucked away. I sighed in relief, relieved at the fact that it was still there. Hidden but in plain sight.

Slowly, I pulled it out. I smiled a little, reminded of my friends yet again. I sighed, wondering if there would be a time when I'd ever need to use the number on the card. Just knowing it was there, however, made me feel better. Knowing the offer still stood, it felt strange. As if despite the fact that I kneeled here alone, they would be waiting.

Nervously biting my lip, I tapped the card against my fingers, looking over my shoulder at the window in the room. Jack was waiting on me. I put it away again, safer this time, and zipped my bag back up before climbing back to my feet. I set off to cover my face, hoping I wouldn't need to do this much longer.

I did just as he said to. Coming back out, he was already seated in the truck. The radio on, and the slightest bit of relief entered his usually glaring blue eyes as I came back out.

Dropping my bag into the now dry bed of the truck beside Jack's, and climbing in. He handed me another bar of chocolate as I sat down, settling into the front passenger seat. I couldn't help feeling like a dog being trained, but if it meant I stayed on his good side, I didn't mind it so much.

Since we skipped breakfast, he stopped for an early lunch at an actual restaurant this time. Somewhere just outside the California border, I found out. I sat beside him, between him, and the window. Now and then glancing up at him.

Were we going to California? Was that where he was taking me?

I was still getting used to eating again, so I couldn't eat very much. I was still tired. Nervously looking around me. I still didn't know where we'd end up, but I knew. I had every right to be nervous. Something about this trip wasn't right. I could feel it, and the way Jack treated me now told me so. He was being too nice, which told me he had something planned.

I just wanted to go home.

When we got going again, I was seated up front once more. Watching him. He had yet to sit me on his lap again, so I couldn't help wondering why he would tell me to get used to that, if he didn't do it again. I wasn't looking forward to finding that out. If I could get away with not having to, I would.

We entered California, signified by the 'Welcome to' sign.

I didn't like how nervous I was today. On edge, and it was the first time I really realized how much a cigarette eased those nerves. Instead of just smoking to settle my empty stomach, I used smoking as a way to calm down.

"What the fuck?" Jack grumbled, glancing over at me, "You trying to kill yourself? Christ. Slow down." I was on my third cigarette in an hour. Sixth in two hours. He yanked the pack from out of my reach, and stole the cigarette I just lit. Pausing one last time to slap me on the back of my head, "Dumb ass."

Just like he said, we pulled to a stop outside a house later that afternoon. This house was huge. Especially compared to where we'd come from. I was intimidated by it, not moving to get out of the truck. He took my shoulder, turning me slowly to look at him.

"Remember what we talked about." He told me firmly, "This is it. Don't disappoint me, you little bitch. Come on."

He climbed out of the truck, and I followed him. Squinting in the late afternoon sunlight as we both stepped around the truck and headed for the front door.

The door opened before we got there, a rather loud man greeting Jack loudly. I jumped, actually stepping closer to Jack in fear.

"Nice to see you!" The new man called, laughing as he stepped forward. Greeting Jack with an enthusiastic hug, "And who's this?" He pulled back, looking down at me. I made a whimpering gasping noise, stepping behind Jack. He was big, and his voice clearly matched. I eyed him as I eyed everyone new I met. With distrust.

The man only laughed, "Sure is a shy little thing, isn't she?"

"Remember Gina?" Jack replied, "Well, this is her kid. Leandra."

"You never mentioned she had a kid." The man seemed puzzled, looking at him. He seemed nice enough, but I really wasn't sure, so I looked up at Jack as well. Waiting for some sort of hint as to what to do.

"I didn't think it was that important." Jack laughed.

"A secret kid?" He got in response, "It's kind of a big deal. You didn't kidnap her, did you?" He laughed, finding that funny. I wasn't so amused, and neither was Jack, though he forced a laugh as well.

The man's eyes fell back down onto me as he leaned forward a bit. Probably to be more on my level, but it didn't help much, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Leandra. My name's Mike." He held his hand out, and Jack gave me a nod, telling me to not be rude.

I hesitantly placed my hand in his, not liking the contact. Thankfully, he was gentle. Giving me a kind smile and chuckling as his hand closed around mine in greeting. He didn't shake it, or pull me anywhere, just held my hand like that for just a moment.

"She's got to be the cutest thing." Mike smiled, releasing me. Was this the important person I was meeting? He didn't seem so bad. I was usually pretty good at being able to tell.

"Is my dad inside?" Jack asked, and again I was taken off guard. Shocked. He had a father?

"He and Heather went to the store." Mike answered, "Had to pick some extra things for dinner. You know how much the boys eat." Who was Heather? And who was this Mike guy?

I followed Jack closely as they stepped inside. Looking around.

"Uncle Jack!" I flinched at a shout further into the house, and stepped away from him. Landing beside Mike as I heard and saw two boys running at him from the living room. Jack laughed, accepting their hugs.

I'd never seen him act this way. Never.

"Damn," Jack chuckled, "You two gotta quit growing." The smaller of the two seemed my age. Taller than me, but not as much as the other one. Dark brown hair on the both of them, and there was no question they were related to him. Given their color of blue eyes. Seeing him so happy to see them had me tilt my head a bit. More confused than I'd ever been.

"Leandra, these are my nephews." Jack's tone changed. Subtly, but I heard it clear as day, "Zack, and this is Josh." He touched their heads as he said their names. Zack was the smaller one, and Josh was the older one, "Guys, this is Leandra. My wife's daughter."

"Hey." Josh greeted, smiling and waving. I bit my lip, waving a little in return. Thankful I didn't have to touch them.

"She bunking with the boys?" Mike asked, and immediately Jack shook his head.

"Nah, she prefers to stay with me." Jack replied, "Isn't that right?"

"Yes, sir." I murmured quietly without missing a beat. He approved, given the look in his eyes.

"Lucky there's a couch in your room." Mike chuckled, "Well, why don't you help me start dinner, Jack? Let the kids get to know each other." I was given a warning with his eyes. Again, subtly, but I saw it.

"Sure." Jack finally agreed, sighing, "Leandra, go get the bags from the truck. Take them upstairs. Third door on the right is our room." I nodded, immediately turning.

"Be nice to her, you guys." Mike called after us, "Don't roughhouse."

Unfortunately, the boys followed me. Probably as curious about me as I was about them. I climbed onto the bed of the truck, pulling Jack's bag to me over the side first before grabbing mine, and pulling them out. I struggled with the weight of both, but Josh took Jack's from me easily. I looked at him.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"No problem." He smiled, leading the way back inside. That was it for conversation until the bags were safely in the room. I sighed, worn out. This room was actually pretty big. One king sized bed was centered on the far wall. A white, plush couch opposite it.

Now what was I supposed to do? I felt very uncomfortable standing here with the two boys. I'd never been one to get along with kids my age. As stupid as it seemed, I would have preferred staying by Jack's side. There, I knew what to do.

"Well, how old are you?" Josh asked, obviously curious.

"Nine." I answered immediately, my voice quiet.

"That's how old Zack is too." Josh replied, leading the way from the room, "I'm eleven."

"Cool." What else was I supposed to say to that? Congratulations for being born two years before I was?

We made our way downstairs silently now.

"Why can't we roughhouse with you?" Josh asked, peering over at me. I was learning quickly that Josh seemed to be the one to ask all the questions. Zack seemed as quiet as I was.

"I don't know." I replied, "Ask your dad."

"Wanna come watch TV with us?" Zack offered quietly, and I shrugged. That seemed better than trying to make conversation with too-personal questions. I only tolerated that from Alice. Not these two.

"Sure." I replied.

I chose to sit at the far end of the couch. Josh on the other end, Zack in the chair. I wasn't as tense as I was before, thankfully. I just didn't know what to make of these two. They hadn't been mean yet, and that was strange to me.

We only managed to sit there for about ten minutes before the front door opened again. I stared toward the kitchen, watching as Jack was greeted enthusiastically by an older version of himself.

That must be his dad.

I had never really given it much thought. None at all, really. I knew he had to have a family, but I really hadn't expected this. This was something I never had to think about before, considering the way Jack always liked to keep me hidden away.

The woman that came in with the older man came our way.

"Hi, mom." Josh greeted quietly as she placed a hand on his head, looking to the TV briefly. Her eyes landed on me, and I looked away.

"Oh." She spoke, "Who's this?"

"Jack says that's his wife's daughter." Zack answered, "Her name's Leandra." I glanced up at her, curious. Her blue eyes met mine, and she seemed to understand. At first glance, she seemed unhappy. Given the frown on her face, and the way she studied me for a moment, before she turned.

"Jack." She called, her tone also suggesting she wasn't happy. I watched after her, watching her head for the kitchen. She pulled Jack off to the side, arguing heatedly with him. I watched her insecure posture, her arms crossing over her stomach the way I always did. I hoped I hadn't done anything wrong. I really hoped I hadn't.

The older man caught my gaze, and smiled. Coming over.

"You must be Leandra." When he spoke, it was forced polite. Almost condescending in the way it sounded, "I'm Ken." He offered his hand, and since Mike hadn't bothered me, I took it. I was pulled to my feet, however, and lifted. He held me in one arm, hugging me with the other.

"We're family, kid." He told me, "No need for silly hand-shakes."

Resisting the urge to shout in pain, I bit my lip, waiting for him to get done with me. I didn't like him, but I was stuck. I had to grunt, squeezing my eyes shut. He was hugging me too tight, but I grit my teeth and dealt with it.

"Dad," Heather sighed, "Let her breathe." She called him her dad, and given the way Jack's nephews called her their mom, that meant one thing. She must be Jack's sister. He had a sister? She looked younger than him. From what I could see through my pain, anyway.

Ken chuckled, releasing me with his hugging arm. I sat up straighter in his arm, looking at him. He really was an older version of Jack. There was no question whether or not Ken was his father. I didn't like being held. Not by him.

I glanced behind him, finding Jack coming over. A quiet warning in his eyes to keep my mouth shut. I did, knowing full well this was a test as well. This must have been the important person I had to meet.

"She's beautiful, Jack." Ken seemed really pleased to meet me, which was a good sign. It meant I wasn't in trouble yet. If this was the important person, I knew I'd better be on my best behavior with him. I held Ken's gaze for as long as I could, eventually looking down. I might not have liked him, but that hardly mattered any.

I soon discovered why Jack had done what he'd done. Why he told me to get used to sitting on someone's lap.

Sitting down, Ken kept hold of me, sitting me on his lap. Just the way Jack had done. This stranger doing this made me uncomfortable, but he seemed to either not notice, or not care. Whichever. Whenever I'd try to move subtly, or get loose, his arms around me would tighten, holding me there and bouncing me a little.

I glanced to Jack, who went right on smoking his cigarette like he didn't even care. Heather, however, kept her eyes on me like she was afraid I'd steal something. Nobody else seemed to think anything of it, so I tried to relax, but it was difficult. It was hard to, considering how tight he held me there.

Every now and then, he'd shift under me, but that was it for the movement.

"What are you feeding her, Jack?" Ken finally brought attention to me, "She hardly weighs anything."

"She doesn't eat much." He replied, "Her appetite has been shit since her mom left."

"Who would leave a gem like this?" Ken asked, peering around to try to see my face. I looked away, biting my lip, "Lucky she has you, Jack."

"Very lucky." I murmured quietly, striving for points. Jack gave no indication on whether or not I'd earned any. I bit my lip, sighing.

I was deeply uncomfortable, and Jack was no help.

I wanted him to let me go, but he kept me there for what felt like hours. When he finally did let me go, it was because I'd had enough and told him I needed the bathroom.

"I'll show you where it's at." Jack offered, standing, "Come on." I followed him easily, glancing back at Ken's eyes following me.

Once we were out of hearing range, Jack sighed. Pulling me to a stop, he turned me to face him. I looked up at him, waiting for whatever he had to tell me. I hoped it went in my favor.

"You're doing great." He told me, glancing back in the direction of the living room, "Just keep it up. I know he's grabby, but he won't bother you too much." I sniffled, nodding, "He wants to hold you. You let him. Just thank me for saving your ass by making you sleep in my room."

"Thank you." I muttered easily, and he nodded. I didn't know what he meant by that, but I wasn't going to ask. I _was_ grateful.

"Go on." He gently pushed me toward the bathroom. Gently for him, anyway. I stumbled a little, but was otherwise fine. I took my time in there, and when I finally came back out, it was right back onto Ken's lap.

This was going to be tough.

**A/N: I managed to cut it shorter. I wanted to leave it somewhere else, but I figured it was too long as it was. So you'll have to wait until seven before you get more information.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! AHHH! I Heart you all. If I could put a heart in this without the site removing it, I would. (:  
And thank you to those who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. It was. :D  
Okay, so seven is already written out. I'll see if I can't get that out to you either today, or tomorrow. Editing may take longer than I thought before.  
So yes. THANK YOU to those that review regularly! You're amazing!  
For those that haven't yet...  
Lemmie know what you think. Please? :D Please please? Right down there. In the spot for reviews. See it? Right there. Lower. No. Too low. ...Higherrr... There. Right there. Just type in what you thought of the chapter into that neat little box, and it'll send it straight to me. :D And I'm sure if you listen close enough, you can hear me *squee* in happiness at a review notification. :D  
Just thought I'd ask lol  
See you in chapter seven, darlings.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I did my best to calm down, and I was getting the hang of it, but the tension always stayed there. Until it was time for bed, and I followed Jack up the stairs. I paused in the room, glancing around.

"I'm gonna take a shower." He told me, "Go to sleep. I won't be long." I vaguely noticed him lock the bedroom door.

I was half asleep by the time I felt the bed dip behind me. We'd be sharing a bed it seemed. Just like at the hotel, but even though he always hurt me while in the same bed, I felt more creeped out by Ken than by him at that particular moment.

Tonight was different, however. He laid down behind me, and must have felt my trembles, because he sighed and brought his arm down. Pulling me into his side, and holding me there. Hesitantly, I hugged onto his arm as I laid there on my side, hoping he wouldn't mind.

"He won't get ya." He muttered, deep annoyance in his tone, "Just sleep."

Jack had always been possessive of me. Always.

That had never changed, but this felt more like protection. What had changed? He never tried to comfort me. For as long as I'd known him, he'd always done everything he could to make my fear worse. This was so strange, and so weird to me.

Jack had never mentioned anything about his side of the family. I might not have liked Ken, but I liked Heather. She seemed nice when she wasn't watching me like a hawk. Josh and Zack were nice, too. They didn't treat me like something gross.

Mike would take some getting used to. I wondered if I would ever have a real chance to get to know him.

I closed my eyes, drifting off.

As I was falling asleep, my thoughts drifted to Alice, and I wondered if she saw where I was now. I wondered if she saw that Jack hadn't hit me yet. I hoped she had, and that when I got home, she would calm down.

The very next morning, I woke up to fighting. Sounds of arguing shouts downstairs. I sat up in the bed, looking wide-eyed at the door. Jack was still sleeping, so I slipped out of bed as quickly as I could. Leaving the room, and jogging down the stairs until a hand caught my arm halfway down. I gasped, and turned sharply.

It was Josh, and he shook his head.

The shouted voices were in the kitchen, and I clearly recognized them both. Heather and Ken argued, loudly, and we stood there silently. Both of us leaned over the railing, looking back toward the kitchen.

"Really, dad?" I heard Heather's attempt to keep quiet, "Again?" She wasn't doing well with that attempt.

"Oh, Heather." He replied sharply, "Would you just stop?" This was obviously something that had been brought up before.

"I saw that yesterday." She argued, "I mean it, dad. Leave her alone. Or I swear-"

"What?" He demanded, "What are you gonna do?" His voice took on the condescending, lowered almost growl I recognized in Jack. I'd heard it so many times before. From where we were standing, it was difficult to really see them, but from what I could see, he had her backed against the sink, and her head was turned. Away from him.

"I swear to God," She continued, "I will slit your throat while you sleep." I flinched back at those words, looking up at Josh in fear, "I swear on everything I am that if you touch that girl, I will put you down, you sick son-of-a-bitch."

I looked back up at Josh, and the lack of reaction to what she said told me this wasn't the first time he'd heard it. Josh nodded up the stairs, gesturing I follow him.

I let him take my hand, following him back upstairs. Into the other guest room, I looked up at Mike already sitting up in bed, a magazine in his hands. Zack stretched out, lounging on the bed with him.

"Keeping her out of it?" Mike asked conversationally.

"Yeah." Josh answered, sighing. He looked to me again, "We just stay in here until we know it's over. Mom and grandpa fight like that all the time. It's only gotten bad a few times." I was freaking out.

"Why would she say that?" I was suddenly in tears, upset. I didn't know why hearing what she said had upset me so much. Maybe it was because I'd only heard Jack say those things before. Never anyone else. I should have been used to it, but hearing it from Heather bothered me. It shook me.

"Hey." Mike instantly set his magazine to the side, "Come here." He was obviously worried, and he gestured me forward. I didn't trust Mike as far as I could throw him, but he seemed nice enough, and Jack had told me that if someone wanted to hold me to let them, so I stepped forward.

Still crying, he pulled me to him. Hugging me.

"Don't worry." He chuckled lightly, just holding me, "She didn't mean it. She'd never do something like that, Leandra." It was easier to accept being held by Mike than it ever was with Ken. He had this sort of air of comfort about him, "They say those things to each other all the time. I've never quite understood her relationship with Ken, but I do know nothing like that would ever happen."

"You should go out there." I whimpered, "Make them stop."

"All that does is piss them both off more." He explained.

"It's true." Josh added, "Last time dad went out and tried to break it up, they fought the entire day and half passed midnight. I'm not even kidding."

Mike reminded me, build wise, of Emmett. I half laid on him, the way he held me sort of comfortable. My cheek against his chest with his arms enveloping me. My legs draped over his leg, and I was sort of cradled. It felt nice, not uncomfortable like it would have with Ken. I was quickly beginning to like him.

Was this what safety felt like? I recognized it from the dream, but the real thing was a lot better than a faded memory of it. I knew Mike was a good person. It was a strong feeling that I trusted. It was the same feeling I got from the Cullens.

As I stopped crying, I realized that it felt like constantly, I was being reminded of the feeling I had in the dream. Why couldn't I just let it go? Why couldn't I just accept that my shitty life would only get better if I just let the dream go?

I chose to not focus on those thoughts right then. I was trying to _stop_ crying. Not make myself cry more.

"What'd she say this time?" Mike asked, looking to Josh.

"That she'd slit his throat." Josh sighed, sitting on the bed. Mike sighed as well.

"I wish she'd stop that." He replied, "I keep telling her that it's not good for you boys to hear that stuff."

"I'm fine." Zack pointed out, "I know she wouldn't, so I don't care. I'm getting hungry, though. Think they'd stop fighting long enough for me to grab a cookie or something?"

"No cookies for breakfast." Mike corrected, chuckling, "And wasn't dinner enough last night? You can hold on for a little while longer. They'll cool it soon."

A knock at the door had all of us looking that way.

"Yeah." Mike called, not letting me go yet. The door opened, and Ken peered in. A cheerful smile on his face as if Heather had not just threatened to kill him. His eyes found me first, before slowly, he looked to the boys.

"How'd I know you boys were up?" He asked, "Go get dressed. I'll take you guys out for breakfast." Zack jumped up, jogging from the room. Josh followed, glancing back at me as he left the room. He had heard, as clearly as I heard, Heather tell Ken to leave me alone. I had no doubts that Josh didn't know what she meant by that, but I had a feeling that I did.

"You too." Ken chuckled, waving to me, "Come on. Let's go."

I reluctantly crawled away from Mike, and climbed off the bed. Ken watched me as I passed, and I knew he had to have noticed the way I shrunk a little under his gaze on my way out the door. Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was just the fact that I knew he was the one that raised Jack. I didn't know, but I didn't like him. Heather obviously had reason to worry.

I scurried up the hall, straight into the room I shared with Jack.

He was still sleeping, so I crossed the room and jumped onto the bed. Crawling over Jack to get back to my side of the bed. Jack startled awake, sitting upright and looking down at me as I laid on my side, curling into an insecure ball.

"Leandra?" He grumbled, "What the fuck?"

"I don't wanna go." I replied quietly, "Not with him."

"Who?"

"Ken." I answered, partially muffled by the pillow as I curled into it, "He wants to take me, Zack, and Josh somewhere." He sighed a heavy growl, flopping back down as he reached up to rub his eyes.

"Just go." He told me condescendingly, "Good god. Did I raise you to be such a wuss?"

"Yes." I replied, rolling over to look at him, "It's not like I can just _trust_ people like him." He paused mid-rub, before looking over at me. Our eyes met, and I could see his resolve not to hit me fading. I recognized him a little more.

"People like him?" He asked quietly, and I instantly pursed my lips, recognizing his tone even more, "How about this." He sat up, throwing the sheet back. Standing, he turned and grabbed my arm forcefully. Flipping me onto my back, and leaning over me on the bed, "You get up, get dressed, and you will go. You'll go with him, and you'll smile like you're at fucking Disney Land, or so help me, I will beat you until you're _black_ and _blue_!" His voice made my ears ring, and I squeezed my eyes shut, cringing into the mattress, "Am I clear?"

I nodded vigorously, and he waited.

"Good." He said, standing. Cheerfully whistling a tune, he made his way into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind himself.

Okay, so there went that feeling of protection. Note to self. Don't insult his family.

Sniffling, I forced myself up and out of bed. Finding suitable clothes, I pulled them on. I wondered how long it would take for this bruising to go away. I chose a light pink long-sleeved shirt. It might have been thinner than most, but it still could be considered a sweater. It hid everything well, though, and Jack made sure of that before I even left the room.

I waited by the front door with the boys, and I seemed to be the only nervous one. Jack had followed me from the room, talking quietly with Ken before we left. Jack was being firm, given the expression on his face. I wished I could hear what was being said, but Josh took my attention instead.

I hadn't been particularly talkative since seeing him in his parent's room before.

"You sure are quiet." Josh pointed out, "Are you shy or something? Is that why you have to share a room with uncle Jack?" I stayed quiet, "Come on, kid. I'm not gonna bite ya."

"That's not funny." I finally mumbled, glancing up at him, "Don't you know biting hurts?"

"I know biting hurts." He laughed, surprised I finally spoke to him, "I live with Zack, remember? He bites me all the time." This kid didn't seem so bad, "So we're like.. Cousins, right? Or what?"

"I guess." I admitted, "I don't really know."

"Cousins." Zack answered from my other side, "Not blood related, though, since Jack isn't her real dad. Or is he?"

"No." I said, slightly offended. He seemed surprised at my tone, so I spoke again, "Sorry."

"Do you live in Forks?" Josh inquired, "How come we've never met you before?"

"I don't get out much." I mumbled, and he smiled.

"Well, that's too bad." He said, "Because you're cool. Quiet, but cool. I like you." It wasn't often I had interaction with boys around my age. Most of the ones I went to school with ignored me, or looked at me like I was a rock on the ground, but these boys didn't. And for the second time in just a few days, someone had told me they liked me. What the hell was I doing differently?

"You guys ready?" Ken asked, coming back over. Obviously a rhetorical question, given the way he pulled the door open for us. I made sure to fit myself in behind Josh, but in front of Zack as we all filed out the door.

The outting wasn't too bad so far. Breakfast was almost boring in how uneventful it was. Zack flung a piece of bacon across the table at Josh who managed to catch it in his mouth, but that was it. Ken only let them try once, and I understood that. We were out in public. Acting like animals was generally frowned upon here.

I kept to myself as I sat there beside Ken.

Ken didn't bother me as we walked around, looking through shops. I stood between the boys, listening to them argue about the pros and cons of the color orange. Zack liked it, and Josh was trying to talk him out of it. Such boring conversation was what I was quickly learning to like. The kind where I didn't have to say anything, but glance back and forth between them as they spoke. I felt Ken's gaze on me, however.

We wound up at a grassy park around noon, and I was quickly beginning to get too warm in the shirt I wore. It was one thing wearing long-sleeves around an air conditioned house, but completely different to wear them out and about. Especially here. This place was much different than Washington.

I gave in, and sat on the other end of the bench Ken sat on under one of the only shade trees around us. It was a small bench, however.

"Looking a little flushed there." He pointed out, reaching over and lightly pinching my cheek. I glanced over at him, leaning away. Wordlessly he watched me as I watched him. Until he spoke again.

"You know," He spoke up, "I've been hoping to get you by yourself. I wanna talk to you." I glanced up at him, watching as he lit a cigarette, "Let me ask you. Do you think my son is a good father?" I didn't know how to answer that. I didn't know Ken well enough to know whether or not being honest would get me beaten later.

"Come on." He said, chuckling, "Just tell me. Between us."

"No." I mumbled, "I don't."

"Why not?" He asked curiously. I was quiet again, biting my lip. How was I supposed to be honest with him when his son was pure evil? I knew nothing about this guy.

He waited, watching me, until I figured out how to answer him. Glancing around, nobody was watching us, so I reached over and stole the cigarette right out of his hand. Watching me as I took a drag, he seemed surprised, until understanding came to his face. I took another, holding it back out to him.

"I see." He said, taking it from me, "He starves you." I looked up at him, "Keeps you dependent. That's smart, but also a very dumb thing to do." I frowned, looking down. I was a little surprised, to say the least, that that one action told him everything he needed to know.

"Why's it dumb?" I had to ask. He leaned over to lower his voice, keeping his eyes on the boys playing several feet away as I did. Still very consciously aware of how close he'd gotten.

"Because that's the easiest way to get caught." He replied quietly, "Anyone with eyes can tell something's not right. See, the way to do it, is to threaten. Keep them scared of you." I didn't bother replying. It wasn't needed.

"How'd you know he doesn't feed me?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"I recognize that move." He gestured to the cigarette, "Heather used to do the same thing."

For the oddest reason, his confession chilled me. As soon as it registered to me, I looked up at him in shock. He was saying he had treated Heather the way Jack treated me. I wondered how much worse Jack's abuse was than Ken's.

It certainly explained why they fought all the time.

I really didn't like him. I thought, maybe for a second, that if I talked to him, I'd feel better about him. I was wrong. Something was telling me to get as far away from him as possible.

"She started smoking at about twelve." He said, "First I've ever seen a nine-year-old smoke, though." He chuckled, finding that amusing.

"Seven." I mumbled, and he looked over, "I started smoking at seven."

"Shit." He found that even more amusing, "And nobody's said anything to you?" I thought back to Edward. That day, at the school. Edward and Jasper catching me, and the promise I made to him. I was grateful, even still, that Edward hadn't made them call Jack. If he'd had to come get me because I was in trouble for anything, it would have been a whole lot worse.

"Not until recently." I admitted quietly.

"So I hear." I'd obviously stumbled upon a subject he wanted to touch on. I didn't want to hear it. Suddenly, frying in the heat didn't seem so bad to me anymore. I went to stand, but he caught my hand. Pulling me back down, but onto his lap this time. I landed with a whimper.

"See," He sighed, wrapping his arms around me and settling me more comfortably on his lap, "I wasn't done talking to you yet. I know the way my boy treats you, and believe me. I'm willing to help him any way I can. You see, his problem." He paused, reaching up and clearing my hair from my shoulder, "Is that he just doesn't understand what he's dealing with. He says there's been trouble. You see. People noticing you."

Each time he paused to take in a breath, my fear grew and I wanted so bad to cringe away from him. The sound of him breathing grated on my nerves, because it was right in my ear. His voice was quiet, attempting to be comforting, no doubt. I didn't know what he was capable of, but my instincts were telling me to be afraid of him, and I had no choice but to listen to them.

"That's going to stop now." He almost growled, "Because if I have to bail my son out of prison because you couldn't keep your stupid, slutty mouth shut, I'll kill you." His voice quieted, getting darker, "I will. Jack isn't the only one capable of pulling that off, you know. Who do you think allows him to pull it off?"

I gasped a quiet whimper, trembling on his lap. His arm tightened around me, squeezing me back against him until I started to cry. My sobs giving away how scared I was. His arms around me, I knew I was trapped. I wasn't going anywhere until he decided I could.

"Do you know why you're here, dear?" I heard the smile in his voice, unable to force myself to look at him, "Do you?" I shook my head, "Really? Such a shame. Ask me why you're here, and I'll tell you." It took me a moment to force myself to speak.

"Why am I here?"

"Because there's been trouble." He chuckled as if it was obvious, "We're still working out the details, but it looks like you're going to be staying here with me." That shocked me enough to turn my head and look at him. Unshed tears in my eyes, others drying on my cheeks, "Just for.. Say, a year or so. That'd be fun, right?" Instantly, I shook my head. Denying what he was saying. I really didn't want that.

"No? Don't you like me?"

"I want to go back now." I whimpered quietly, "Can we go back now?"

"See, he doesn't want me to have you. He wants to keep you. but he also knows that's a very stupid thing to do." That line again, "He knows how very stupid it would be to keep you there, and let those that have noticed you notice you even more. He called me. A few days ago, and he told me that you've been causing some trouble. So I told him to just take a few days. Come here, and bring you with him." That was what suddenly made him bring me here. As much of a relief it was to finally understand, it didn't make me feel any better.

"I'll keep you just long enough for those who noticed you to forget all about you." His tone was quiet, calm as he continued, "I'll keep you safe with me, and if he wants you back in a year, he can have you. Maybe." I didn't like the way he said that, "If not, well.. Then I'd be more than happy to keep you. I never thought I'd have another chance. One like you, I can only imagine what you'll grow up to be like."

He loosened his hold once Josh noticed my tears.

"Say a word." He murmured into my ear as the boys started over, "I dare you." Just the way his voice sounded now chilled me enough to keep me silent. I wasn't going to anyway, but now I knew how stupid of a move it would be.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, flopping down to sit beside us, "Leandra?"

"She got stung by a bee." Ken excused, stroking his fingers through my hair, "She'll be alright." I nodded, agreeing to what he said. He chuckled, hugging me to him now. A lot gentler than he had been before.

"Where?" Zack asked me, "I wanna see."

"You were stung last year, stupid." Josh quickly put that request to rest, "You've seen a bee sting before."

"Don't be mean to him." I spoke up, gaining all three of their attentions, "Please."

"Well." Ken chuckled, standing and letting me fall to my feet, "I suppose on that note we should be getting back. Your parents must be missing you three." He took my hand, and I sniffled. Having no choice but to follow him. We left the park behind, but the fear stayed with me.

So while this trip had started out fine, it was sliding downhill quickly. Instead of having only Jack to fear, I had Ken. And to me, Ken seemed even more dangerous than Jack. Probably because he was new to me, and I hadn't a clue what to expect from him.

Not knowing was probably what scared me more than Jack.

The moment I got back, I went in search of Jack. I went looking for who I knew. Not only scared, but I just needed to know that he wouldn't give me away. I would promise whatever it took for him to just keep me. To not give me to some stranger. He knew Ken, but I really didn't. I'd promise anything it took, anything. I'd promise to be good. To never talk to Alice again, if it meant I didn't have to stay here. I'd never go to school, I'd never leave the house. Just to keep him from giving me away. That thought hurt me most. That he was even considering just giving me to someone else. How could he do that?

I didn't know if Ken was just trying to scare me, which was what actually scared me.

I found Jack sitting in the living room beside Mike. Heather in the chair, all three watching TV and chatting. Instead of going to Mike, or to Heather, I chose to squish myself in between where Jack sat, and the armrest of the couch. Probably pale, still trembling. Looking up at him, seconds from more tears. He looked back down at me, rolling his eyes slightly.

He sighed, chuckling tightly as he pushed me from the spot. I tried to catch myself, but I wound up on the floor.

"Aw, Jack." Mike chuckled, "That wasn't very nice."

Ken came in, shaking his head at me on the floor, "Come here, honey." He reached for me, and I backed away. Scooting back across the floor until I hit Heather's leg. She sighed, as if annoyed, but looking up, her eyes were on Ken. Reaching down, she helped me up until I sat with her.

"No." I whimpered, and with that one word, everything seemed too still.

Ken hardly looked at me, the smile staying on his face as he shook his head at the floor, but I could tell what I'd just done had pissed Jack off. I looked to Jack nervously, wondering if he would dare beat me here. Maybe it would be better living with Ken. I whimpered almost silently, holding Jack's gaze stealing my breath.

"What'd she do, Jack?" Mike noticed this time, "I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad." Jack finally looked away from me. Glancing to Mike, then back to me. It was enough to let me look down.

"Leandra? Why don't you and the boys go play?" Heather suggested after a few tense, silent moments, "Josh, Zack, take Leandra and go outside."

Zack seemed less than thrilled, "But-"

"Now." She said, and Zack sighed as they both stood. Trembling, I followed. Scooting after them as fast as I could. In a situation like that, I had no idea who to listen to, but Heather gave the only instruction, so I followed it. Glancing back over my shoulder, I spotted Heather on her feet now.

I saw her differently now. Before, she was just someone who I thought didn't like me. Now she was someone strong. To have made it this far? If she was abused even remotely like I was, and she still managed to get older, get married and have two kids, what could I do?

Stopping in the kitchen to grab a bag of chips, Zack led the way out the back door. I kept my eyes down, unsure. I was still very shaken up, but once the door closed behind us outside, I felt better. Like I could breathe. I'd let them handle it. Until later, when I'd have to face the obvious disrespect I'd given Ken.

"Well," Josh spoke up, "What do you guys wanna do?"

"What the heck was that back there?" Zack asked, stepping out onto the warm grass.

"They probably just want to talk." Josh replied, "You know how it goes." Zack sighed, sitting.

"Probably." Zack murmured, "Well, at least I have my chips." He seemed really pleased at that. I stood there awkwardly, crossing my arms over my stomach insecurely. He grinned up at me, unrolling the top of the bag, "Want some?"

"No thanks. I'm really not up to eating." I replied quietly, shaking my head a little. Zack shrugged.

"More for me, then." He said, "Josh doesn't get any."

"Why not?" I asked, frowning.

"Because they're mine." Zack answered, "That's the rule."

"That doesn't seem fair." I mumbled, but before I even finished saying that, Josh darted forward and yanked the bag from Zack. Probably smashing all the chips inside it as he gripped it. Sitting on a struggling Zack, he pulled out a couple chips and threw them into his mouth.

"Those are mine!" Zack shouted beneath him.

"Mmm!" Josh replied, "That makes them better!" Watching the two of them, I took a step back, actually struggling now not to laugh.

"Come on!" Zack grunted, fighting to get up. I snorted a little, covering my mouth. The scene in front of me actually very funny. Just as Zack was almost loose, Josh took a few more chips, and crumpled the bag.

Tossing it at me.

I caught the bag instinctively, surprised.

"Run." Josh told me, and I did as he threw himself off of Zack, and followed me. I had no clue what I was doing as I led the way through the back gate, and up the beach. Josh right behind me, and Zack following.

I caught on, understanding the game now. Running faster, I found it was fun to run without someone behind me wanting to beat me. All Zack wanted was his chips back, and given the way he laughed, he wasn't mad. He found this game just as fun as Josh and I did.

I wasn't scared of these two, as funny as it sounded. I didn't know what had come over me, to be honest, and I hadn't realized how I had been laughing. This was so much better than being scared all the time.

Glancing behind me, I noticed Zack right on my tail, so I looked to Josh. He held his hands open, and I took the hint. Tossing the bag to him right as Zack caught up to me, and I jumped out of the way of his grabs.

Josh continued on with the bag of chips, and Zack's sights were on him now. I stopped running, completely out of breath as I watched them. A small smile on my face.

I had never been included in anything like that before, so it puzzled me, but not in a bad way.

I'd never really had anyone actually want to spend time with me before. All the kids my age at home always avoided me. I never knew how much fun playing could be. Even though it was brief, the feeling lasted. I didn't mind it.

"You coming?" Josh called, shoving Zack's face briefly into the sand, and I had to decide. Did I want to play it safe? Or keep running with them? I was already pretty warm, given my long-sleeves, but I didn't care. Jack had told me not to be rude. Declining would have been rude.

So I followed.

We always stayed in view of the house, but they ran up and down the beach now. I followed at my own pace, constantly trying to catch my breath. I was too hot, though. My throat dry, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

I had to stop, though. I'd started to feel too dizzy, and it was hard not to throw up. I kneeled down on the sand, sighing.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, noticing how I'd stopped. He came back over, frowning.

"I don't know. I don't feel so good." I mumbled, and he looked around.

"Let's go inside for a minute." He suggested, "You're probably way too hot." He offered his hand, but before I could take it, I yelped as he was tackled. Literally flying to the side, and hitting the sand with Zack as they both grunted. I looked over, watching as they wrestled. I deeply confused frown on my face. Didn't that hurt? I'd have cried if I were tackled like that, but Josh just wrestled free like it didn't even bother him.

Boys were weird.

"Say uncle!" Josh demanded, sitting on Zack's back, twisting his arm. I couldn't stop watching. It was like a trainwreck. Why did boys have to play like that?

"Stop it, guys." I mumbled, "Come on." Both Zack and Josh looked back at me, and for a second, I worried they'd somehow gotten the idea that I was up to wrestling like that.

"Uncle Jack." Zack laughed as Josh climbed off of him. I rounded, looking up at him standing behind me, "Don't worry. We weren't roughhousing with her."

"Good." Jack seemed fine now. Not a hint of his earlier anger to be found, "Now, Zack, you really have to work on your tackling. That was weak. Good try, though. Nice effort." Jack stepped around me, and I scooted back.

"Leandra." I looked back at Heather's voice at the gate, "Come here for a second." Slowly, I stood up. Resting had helped the dizziness, but it was still there. I came to stand on the other side of the gate, looking up at her, "Can we talk?"

"Sure." I mumbled, and she gestured toward the house. I stepped through the gate, and she followed me inside. I wondered what on Earth she'd need to talk to me about. I wondered how much trouble I was in for doing what I'd done earlier. I wondered just how much like Jack she was, and whether or not her hits hurt as much as his did.

Closing the door behind herself, she gestured to the kitchen table. Taking the hint, I sat down with a sigh. It was much cooler inside, and I appreciated it. Grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge, she turned. I tensed. Was she going to throw them at me?

"I'm sorry." She said, gently setting the bottle on the table in front of me, "About this morning." I was quiet, reaching out and taking the bottle of water, "Mike told me you overheard." I bit my lip. Nodding a little.

She sighed, sitting across from me, "You have to understand. I've never had the best relationship with my father."

"Then why do you come here?" I had to ask, looking up. She looked down, probably thinking, "Why do you still see him?"

"My sons." She said, "See, growing up, it had always been Jack to get the most of our father's attention. He was treated like.." She sighed, thinking, "Like royalty. Always the best of everything. Then, there was me." I waited, listening, "Remembering how wonderful our father treated Jack, I knew my boys would be okay. I didn't want them to miss out on knowing their family, as screwed up as it was. I couldn't be selfish that way."

It was quiet for a moment, before she spoke again.

"I tried, at first, to keep the boys from knowing my brother or my father." She said, "Mike never understood, but after awhile, I couldn't hide it anymore. When Josh had just turned three, and Zack was about a year old, Jack found us. We'd been living in Seattle, and I thought that was far enough away." She laughed a little, "I was wrong. Of course, him being him, he let slip to our father where I was hiding out, and that was it. It really wasn't like we could afford to just pack up and leave without some sort of help. Jack was so great with them when I finally let him see them, and they loved him so much, I couldn't keep them from him anymore. Josh talked about him almost non-stop." She smiled a little, shaking her head, "Uncle Jack this, and uncle Jack that.. He was happy."

She paused, "It was hard for me, and sometimes it still is, to see my father. I don't get along with him, but my boys do, and that's what matters most to me." From what I could tell, she was nothing like Jack was. I was paying close attention to her voice, and the way she moved. She gave me no indication that she was anything like either of them. She'd tried to get away, but couldn't.

Her gaze grew sad, as she looked down.

"I've met your mom." She admitted quietly, "And I've met you." That threw me off for a moment, "You've met the boys before."

"I don't remember." I admitted, shaking my head a little.

"When you were about a year and a half, your mom and I met at a park one day." She said, "I'd brought the boys, because they were just so energetic. She brought you, and you three just hit it off. She and I got to talking, and I guess I just liked having someone to talk to." I knew that feeling, "We met at the park almost regularly after that." She paused, keeping her eyes down as if she were ashamed, "That was how Jack met her."

I sat there, stunned for a moment.

"He followed me to the park one day, wondering where I kept taking 'his' nephews, and it just happened to be on a day I was meeting with your mom. I watched, and I knew what would happen, and I even tried to warn her about what kind of man my brother was. I really did, but she never listened. She was too infatuated with him, and I can see why, but waiting for the inevitable really killed me."

I was quiet for a moment, before I decided to ask, "Did you ever meet my dad?"

"I have." She nodded, "Quite a few times, Chris would come to the park after work. Just to spend time with both of you where you were most happy."

"Was he a good guy?"

She was quiet for a second, before she nodded, "Yes." She answered, "He is. I could tell by the way he interacted with you, that he loved you very much." I looked down, suddenly reminded of the waitress the other morning. How easy it was for Jack to fool her. That's probably all it was.

"Chris just worked _so_ much back then, and hardly had time for his family." She explained, "But Jack somehow always made time to be there. I saw it coming, the way he wormed his way into your mom's life, so it really was no surprise when Gina told me she was getting a divorce."

"I never gave much thought," She continued, "And I suppose I really should have. Jack never mentioned you again, so I just assumed your dad had taken you in the divorce." I was quiet now, keeping my eyes down, "How wrong I really was, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. Leandra, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to admit to anyone. How I'm the reason their family fell apart. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"You're really brave." I couldn't help telling her, and she smiled a little at me.

"Thank you, honey." She sighed, "But bravery is not what this is." I looked down. It was quiet again, until she finally spoke up again, "You were a surprise to us all, Leandra." I looked back up, "I honestly never thought I'd see you again."

That didn't surprise me.

"It worries me." She said, "To find out that he's hidden you from us for so long." She waited, probably waiting for me to say something.

"I never knew about you either." I finally mumbled, "Or Ken. I never knew he had a family."

"I see." She nodded a little, "Well, I'm not surprised you don't remember. You were just a baby back then."

"I wish I could." I replied quietly. We studied each other for a moment, when she finally sighed again.

"I don't have a lot of time to talk to you." She said, "In fact, I'm surprised we've been alone this long, but I want to ask you something." I had a feeling I already knew what it was she wanted to ask, "How does Jack treat you?" There it was. This had to be another test.

I looked down, "Fine." I made my voice as convincing as I could.

"Knowing you back then, and seeing you now, Leandra.. The change is painful to see." I looked back up, keeping quiet, "I know how hard it is to trust anyone associated with him." She wasn't convinced in the least, "Believe me, I know, but I can tell you that at anytime, you can trust me. You can trust me, and you can trust Mike." She smiled a little, "I chose well when I picked him, I promise you. We'll be here awhile longer, so if you need anything, please feel free to come to us."

I didn't know what to say, so I nodded.

"Now, about today." She murmured, "I'm only guessing here, but you were shown my father's true colors." I bit my lip, "But you were never really fooled, were you?" Unable to help it, I shook my head, "I'll do my best to stand between you two. As often as I can." I appreciated that, "I don't know why Jack brought you here, but that doesn't mean your trip here has to be completely miserable."

"I know why." I mumbled, and she waited. Before I could answer, the back door opened again, and Jack carried a struggling Zack over his shoulder into the house. Josh following, laughing at his brother's predicament. I looked down, shaking my head a little. Heather sighed.

"Feeling any better?" Josh asked, pausing by the table, "Not going to pass out again, are you?"

"Wait, what?" Heather asked, looking to me.

"I didn't pass out." I corrected him, frowning.

"Almost." He said, "You were _pale_." He looked to his mom, "She got too hot."

"It's no wonder, with that shirt on." She frowned, "Jack, doesn't she have any cooler shirts she can wear?"

"I can get her one." Zack offered from over Jack's shoulder.

"She's fine." Jack played it down, "Aren't you?"

"I'm fine." I said, "I just can't run around."

"It won't take long." Zack offered again, "I know right where one is."

"Yeah." Heather stood up, "Zack, go find that shirt. Leandra, come with me."

"I really am fine." I insisted, staying seated. I looked to Jack as he let Zack down onto his feet. He wasn't going to help me.

"What are we doing?" Mike entered the room, narrowly missing being run into by Zack. I was quickly getting overwhelmed.

"I'm getting Leandra a shirt so she doesn't pass out again." Zack answered, already through the living room and starting up the stairs.

"I didn't pass out!" I called after him.

"Come on, honey." Heather insisted, holding out her hand. I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I replied, "Everybody's freaking out for no reason."

"Oh," I closed my eyes at Ken's voice, "Meeting in the kitchen?"

"Got it!" Zack called ahead of himself, and I listened to him descending the stairs, "Don't worry, Leandra! I'll save you!" A thud in the living room told me he tripped, "Crap." Ken turned, looking back. Zack was obviously fine, given his running footsteps continuing a few seconds later.

"Leandra, overheating isn't something you want to play around with." Mike spoke up again as Zack made it back into the kitchen, delivering the shirt to Heather.

"I know, but-"

"Jack, you know better, man." Mike chuckled, "You know how hot it gets here. Why'd you let her take a shirt like that?"

"B-But-" I tried again.

"Here." Ken chuckled, starting forward. I darted up, stepping around the table. Away from him.

"No." Heather looked to Ken, "You stay there. Leandra, come with me." She repeated, gesturing to me.

"Oh," Ken chuckled again, "Really?"

"Stop it!" I finally shouted. I'd never shouted before. Not like this, so my shouted voice sounded weird to me. Startling myself, I blinked in surprise. Recovering, I spoke again, "I like my shirt. I don't want to change out of it. J-Just.. Leave me alone, okay?"

I walked away. Dodging Heather, and Josh, I went to leave the kitchen. Headed for the living room, but Jack caught me with a deep sigh. His hand around my wrist, his other hand yanking the shirt from Heather. Tugging me from the kitchen, into the first floor bathroom. I whimpered as he pushed me in, following me in. Closing the door behind himself, he turned to look at me.

Giving me no chance to stop him, he pulled my shirt above my head. Dropping it on the floor. I whimpered as he looked me over briefly.

"Damn." He muttered, "I did a number on you, didn't I?" He turned me around to face him, gathering the other shirt in his hands, he pulled it roughly over my head. This was one of my new t-shirts. A bigger dark blue one, so it was a little baggy on me. Coming down to almost mid-thigh, the sleeves fell just passed my elbows. Turning me around, he made sure I was completely covered. Which I was nervous about.

"There." He said as I reached up, clearing my now messy and loose hair from my eyes, "Now they can quit bitching." He bent down and lifted my old shirt, before he turned, pulling open the door again. Leaving me standing there for a moment in surprise.

I wandered out, still a little surprised at how quick everything had happened.

Everything seemed to calm down from there.

"There." Mike chuckled, "Don't you feel better?" I didn't bother answering him. Ken slowly shook his head, a disappointed smile on his face. As if what had just happened had proved his point earlier.

"Can I go back outside?" I asked quietly, and the boys seemed to perk up. Smiling.

"Just take it easy, kiddo." Mike said, "Come back inside if you start feeling like that again." I nodded, letting him know I would.

To my surprise, came outside with us for a little while, to wrestle a little bit with the boys. Of course, letting them win. I noticed how easily he could have picked up Zack, and toss him, but he didn't. He was a strong guy, but he let the boys wrestle him down to the sand.

After a good thirty minutes, he feigned surrender, and chuckling, climbed back to his feet as they turned on each other. This time it was Zack that had gotten the better of Josh. Zack was learning.

Mike sighed as he came to my side, sitting back down in the sand with me. Reaching over, he put his finger against my upper arm, and pushed me a little. Just a little shove, hardly moving me. I looked over, confused.

"What?" He asked, "I didn't do anything."

"Yeah you did." I frowned, still confused. I shrugged, looking back down at the sand running through my hands. Yet another little shove came, and I caught his hand this time, "Aha!"

"Caught me." He chuckled, and I couldn't help laughing a little as well. I released his wrist, looking back down.

"So." He started, "How is old Jack as a dad?" I paused, my small smile instantly fading.

"Fine." I answered immediately, concentrating on the sand again.

"I know he's great with the boys." He commented, "What I just can't figure out, is why he never brought you by to meet us. You've been hidden for.. What? Five years?" He must have never been there at the park with Heather.

"Six." I mumbled, sighing.

"Six years." He corrected himself, "And you seem very mature for your age." I didn't know what to say to that, "I haven't seen you step out of line once, but the way Jack watches you, it's like he's expecting you to burn down the house or something."

"I'd never do that." I murmured, shaking my head.

"You're a good kid, Leandra." He replied, "I know you wouldn't. Maybe you would rob a bank, or steal a car, but never burn down the house." Obviously a joke.

"Thank you." I smiled a little, appreciating the first part of what he said. I never heard that.

"But." I hated that word, "There's something about you. You don't act like any nine year old I've ever met before. You act more like some twenty-five year olds I know." I didn't know what to say to that.

"What's your story, kiddo?" I looked up at him, confused, "I know you've got one, and I know it's got to be a big one."

"Leandra." I sighed, looking down at Jack's voice calling from the house, "Come here." Why couldn't he just leave me be for longer than thirty seconds? I stood up beside Mike, and turned. Walking back toward the house, I sighed quietly.

"I'm being good." I murmured quietly to him. He took my wrist in his hand and tugged me inside. The way he held my wrist now told me something was off. It worried me, because it hurt. He hadn't done that in a few days, and I whimpered as I followed him. Ow, ow, ow. He was pissed about something, and I had a sinking feeling I knew what it was about.

"Jack?" Heather had noticed.

Through the kitchen, and up the stairs. Straight toward the room I shared with him.

When we got up to the room, he pushed open the door, and led me inside painfully. It wasn't that he had dragged me all the way up here that made me pause. It was the fact that everything in my bag was now in a pile on the floor. Sitting on the bed, was a little white card, that I knew he'd found. Slamming the door behind himself, he threw the lock, and crossed the room. His breathing racing in his anger as he lifted the card, looking to me pointedly.

Uh-oh.

**A/N: I'm so evil.  
I originally didn't have so much Mike and Heather in there, but I couldn't leave it so vague.  
I hope you enjoyed this little informative chapter. FINALLY we find out why she's there. I took my time getting to this, didn't I?  
It was a bit hard putting it together, because I wasn't exactly sure how to word everything. I hope it came out okay. :)  
THANK YOU to my BEAUTIFUL reviewers! I really can't tell you how much I've missed your input during my little break. :D  
Now, I know how long this is taking to get to the good stuff, but I really wanted to take my time with this story. So much had to be told this time around, and it just couldn't be done in under eleven chapters. I hope you guys don't mind. :}  
Until eight, my friends. :D  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**ImPORTANT NOTE: READ ME! I have to give you a heads up about some unhappy themes in this chapter. Be on the lookout if you're the sensitive type. Kay? Kay. Onward.  
**

**Chapter Eight**

Without even knowing what he was doing, Zack had gotten me into trouble.

Jack didn't say a word. Probably waiting for my nervous mind to come up with some sort of explanation.

"Who's this?" He finally asked, and though his voice wasn't shouted, I took a step back. I thought hard, "Where'd you get this?"

"I found it." I mumbled, hoping he'd believe me.

"You found it?" He asked pointedly, and I nodded, "Really?" He was giving me a chance to change my lie. I wasn't about to, however, "Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not." I replied, "I'm not."

"You know how much I _hate_ it when you lie to me." His quiet voice was anything but calm anymore, "Now explain to me. If you found this somewhere, why did you decide to bring it with you?"

"I-I don't know-"

"Why didn't you just.." He stepped closer, "Throw it away?" I was quiet, "I'm going to ask you, and I expect the truth. Does this have anything to do with whoever called the other day?" I bit my lip, keeping my eyes down, "Does it?"

That was the second, and I knew without a doubt if he had to ask a third time, it wouldn't be pretty. I kept silent, however, nervously clasping my hands behind my back. I didn't feel comforted by the fact that there were others in the house. Not with the anger in his eyes. I was nervous, but more protective of them. If he knew about them, that put them in danger too. Although, it would be pretty funny to see him try to hurt Emmett. That didn't make me laugh, though. I didn't want them anywhere near him.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, and that hardened his gaze. His eyes narrowing just a bit.

"_What_ are you sorry for?" He asked, stepping even closer. I was quiet again, stepping back. Whimpering as my back hit the wall beside the door, "Leandra? _What_ are you sorry for?"

"I-I.." I couldn't make my voice work, even if I could think of what to say. His hand came up, slowly grasping and tightening on my neck.

"Jack?" Heather was knocking at the door now, "Open the door."

Spinning me, he dragged me across the room. Away from the door now. Probably so he could talk to me without Heather overhearing, but I wasn't focused on that. I was more preoccupied with the increasing difficulty to breathe. Jack was quiet, as was I. We looked at each other now. His jaw clenched in anger, his eyes reflecting it as well.

"What are you sorry for, Leandra?" He asked again. I knew what he was worried about.

"I didn't tell." I whimpered quietly, "I didn't. I was good. I swear I was good." As much as I could whimper, anyway.

"Are you telling me this guy doesn't know anything about what I do?" He asked, holding up the card, and I averted my eyes, "Leandra?"

"They figured it out." I whimpered as his hand tightened, "I didn't say anything, I even denied it."

"Jack?" Heather again, "Leave her alone."

"And just _how_ would _they_ have a chance to figure anything out?" Oops. Now I'd have to admit that I'd seen them more than once. My silence this time pissed him off, given the too-tight way he held my neck in his hand. Completely cutting off my breath for just a moment, "You _stupid_ little slut." My hand came up, trying to pry his hand off my neck, but he captured it with his other hand and threw it off of him. I squeezed my eyes shut. I hated when he did this. He was going to hold too long.

I fought a little, but that just made him hold tighter. Pushing me back against the wall beside the window with a quiet thud.

"That's the last fucking straw." Jack muttered, crumpling the card in his hand, "That's it, Leandra." I watched as he tossed the card away from him. I tried to tell him to let me go, but he wasn't going to until I passed out. He did that to show me what it was like to die that way. Unless this time was different. Unless this time he actually did kill me.

I didn't have time to panic about that, as seconds later, my vision blacked out. I woke probably seconds later, laying on my side against the wall. He was still standing there, watching me as I dizzily pushed myself up. Looking up at him. It bothered him to see me awake. I could see that in his eyes.

Heather knocked louder on the door now, "Jack? Dammit!"

Neither of us spoke now as I rubbed my probably bruising neck. Looking up at him, I didn't dare look away now. The moment I did, I'd probably get kicked. At the very least. I flinched with a yelp as he suddenly turned around. Striding back across the room.

Yanking open the door, I stood there, watching as he left. Pushing passed Heather, and I heard him start down the stairs.

What did he mean by 'That's it'? What was it? Heather peeked in as I shakily climbed back to my feet, and walked over, lifting the squished card in the corner beside the bed.

"Are you alright?" She asked, and I nodded a little.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, smoothing out the card. It remained wrinkled, but it was otherwise fine. I was actually surprised he let me keep it. What did that tell me?

"What happened?" She asked, stepping in. I stood up, and moved to my bag now. Kneeling beside it, I started to put everything away, almost numb. What was that? I didn't recognize anything about the tone of his voice, so I had no way to figure out how much trouble I was in later.

Heather helped me, folding everything with me, and I knew she could see my uncertainty when I looked up at her.

"I won't try to make excuses for him." She finally said, "But I know he's got a temper. He's always had one." She watched me, "Show me a man who doesn't have a temper." She laughed a little, probably trying to cheer me up. I only glanced at her, no smile anywhere near my face, "I found it easiest just to give him space when he gets like that." That was all she said, patting my hands as she stood up. Leaving the room. Giving me my space as well. I always felt nauseous after he did that, but this was different.

Something was going to go wrong. I knew it. It wasn't over, and I knew better than to think it was. That had more to do with knowing Jack, though.

I came back downstairs after putting the card away again, hesitantly in search of Jack. Almost nothing seemed wrong by just looking around, but I could feel it. Especially seeing Jack standing there talking to Ken.

He didn't seem to notice me right away. Lost in his conversation. As if I were suddenly invisible. I suddenly worried. Had I made up his mind?

Something had changed. I knew that the moment they both looked at me. Jack was angry, that much was clear, but Ken was pleased. He was happy about something, and I didn't trust that smile one bit.

I tried to ignore it, the way Ken watched me all through dinner. I tried to ignore it, the way Jack acted like I wasn't even there. I didn't like this. The cold distance he gave me worried me. He wasn't possessive. He wasn't protective. He wanted me gone.

I was taken upstairs not long after dinner, and I actually hoped Jack would address what happened earlier. I was trembling on my way up the stairs. I couldn't help it, not with Jack directly behind me. I didn't think he'd hit me here, but I could be wrong.

Once in the room, the door closed firmly, I was shoved forward. Hitting the bed with a bounce, I flipped over and looked up at him.

"Go to sleep." Was all he said to me. He went to leave again, but I stupidly spoke up.

"He wants to keep me." I pointed out quietly.

"And?" He barked, "Whether or not he gets to keep you is not up to you."

"You won't let him keep me, will you?" I asked pleadingly, more scared than I had been in awhile. At least over something not life-threatening. I didn't want to stay here. Just leaving my life behind?

"Why wouldn't I?" He countered, "You're nothing but trouble. Something I never signed on for. Worthless, and weak. You're pathetic, Leandra." His words hurt more than I was sure he knew, "Why the hell would I want to keep you around? I should have shoved you at him the first chance I got."

He was getting more and more irritated the more he spoke. I looked down now, my eyes closing. Fighting back the tears, but losing. All I wanted was to be wanted. All I ever did was try to do as he said.

"Stop your crying." He barked again and I shrunk a little, looking down, "You should be glad he wants you. You're lucky I haven't dropped you off in the middle of nowhere yet. My dad raised me just fine. You'll be no different." He'd decided. What he said proved it. The way his ice blue eyes bored into mine also told me. He had decided. That's what had changed.

He crossed the room, seeing I was still crying. I whimpered, scooting back the way I had done to Ken just a few hours before. Before I could retreat much further, he kneeled on the bed beside me, and caught my neck yet again. Pulling me closer, I gasped a little in my fear.

"You're pathetic." He repeated, frowning at me, "I'm actually relieved to be rid of you." He sighed in annoyance, looking away, "I'm leaving tomorrow night, and you won't be coming."

"No." I cried, "You can't do that." I hadn't anticipated the slap. It was a harder slap than I'd gotten from him in a few days, and my cheek stung with the pain.

"You don't tell me what I can and can't do, little girl." He growled, closer to me now, "Stop crying." This was the second time he had to tell me. I whimpered, struggling to do as he told me. He shook me a little, only succeeding in drawing a sob from me.

Why was I fighting this so much? Sure, Ken was creepy and cringe-inducing, but he hadn't _really_ hurt me yet. Not like Jack had.

Maybe because I didn't want to be stuck here for a year, while Alice forgot about me. I couldn't let that happen. My hands came up, gripping onto his wrist as he shook me again. I shook my head, struggling to keep my tears under control.

He'd had enough.

Pinning me roughly to the bed by my neck, I coughed until I couldn't. Climbing over me, he sat his weight on my stomach, ensuring I couldn't take a breath anyway.

"_Stop_ crying." He growled, squeezing my neck in his hand. I remembered this. I really didn't want to go through this again, but I had little choice either way. Reaching up, he roughly wiped my face with his thumb. Clearing the tears from my cheeks. My tears only renewed as I struggled for breath.

"I should just kill you now." He said, "Then you'd be nobody's problem, but I won't. You don't belong to me anymore."

I had to be more than that to him. More than just some problem, but I knew better than that. I stopped struggling, knowing that was what he wanted. I stopped resisting, and sure enough, he released my neck a few seconds later.

"I don't want you anymore." He told me, "You're his problem now. I'm done dealing with you." I laid there, gasping for breath as he climbed off of me, "Since your bitch of a mother left, I don't have anymore of an obligation. Why should I keep you when this is easier on me?" A few more sobs left me, and I sat up.

Stupidly, I spoke up.

"You can't leave me here." I coughed a sob, "You can't."

"Watch me." Was his reply.

"I'll tell." Threatening him. Now I knew I defintely had lost my mind. He paused, slowly turning to face me. Even more stupidly, I kept talking, "I-If you leave me here, I'll tell. I swear I will, Jack. I'll do it. I'll tell everyone everything you did."

I realized my mistake a second before he reached me, and I struggled. Scrambling to get off the bed, but he caught my lower leg. Pulling be back onto the bed, and flipping me over back onto my back. He gripped my face in his hand painfully, and I knew if he applied just a bit more pressure, he'd break my jaw. He leaned over me, looking into my eyes as my hands reached up, trying to pry his fingers loose.

"No you won't." He murmured, "Because even someone as stupid as you are knows when something they do will get them killed. Trust me. You won't say a word to anyone." I couldn't reply to that. He knew me too well, "Not. One. Person." Each of those three words had a patting sort of slap against my cheek behind it.

He released me, and climbed back off the bed. Once he was far enough away, I sat up. Panting, and tears still spilling from my eyes. I watched him closely, watching as he pulled open the door.

"Watch me." I challenged, and he paused yet again. Looking back at me. Instead of coming back over, though, all he did was shake his head and leave the room. Closing the door behind him.

Now what?

He came back into the room before I'd even fallen asleep, but it wasn't brought up again. By either of us. I laid there, sniffling on the bed. Considering my options.

Maybe Ken wouldn't be so bad. Sure I hated him, but he hadn't even really hurt me yet. Jack had. Why was I struggling so hard to stay with him? Maybe it was more than being afraid of Alice forgetting about me. Maybe it was because Jack was all I had left of everything I knew.

My mom had already left me. Maybe I didn't want Jack to as well.

I only wanted to be wanted.

As I laid awake that night, I considered ways to get Jack to change his mind. I could beg, but that never got me the result I wanted. What I said earlier had given me an idea, though. Maybe if I pissed him off even more, he'd want to be the one to correct me? I would have to piss him off a _lot_ for that to happen, clearly. It didn't take much to piss him off anyway, so that wasn't an issue.

Thinking harder now, I listened to his deep breathing behind me, and I came up with an idea. It was stupid. Very stupid, but I had to try. I needed to piss him off, to change his mind. I wasn't about to just let myself be given to Ken like some cat nobody wanted anymore.

There was one sure way to do that.

I slowly rolled out of bed, standing in the dark room. Searching for something that would work. Looking around the room, I spotted Jack's belt hanging on the wall by the door. This was just stupid enough to work. Crossing the room, I slowly reached up and struggled it off the hook, the buckle hitting the floor with a thud.

Wincing, I looked back at where he slept. Waiting for him to move, but he didn't. I sighed, looking at the cold leather in my hands as I slowly crossed the room toward him. How could something so harmless hurt somebody so much? Just holding it made me tremble lightly, inspecting it between my hands. It felt too heavy, but I couldn't let myself think about that.

Could I do this? I stopped by his side of the bed, looking at him laying there. I gathered it the way he always did, my hand able to hold a lot less than he could. I brought it back, and paused. Thinking about what this would do.

Before I could swing it down across his face like I wanted to, he suddenly moved. His sudden movement scared me, and I yelped.

Reaching out, he grabbed me and spun me around as I dropped the belt. Slamming me down onto the bed, near his feet. Being laid across the bed so suddenly stunned me, and he pinned me there. His hand over my mouth, he strattled me. Like he'd done earlier, but much more forcefully.

"Lesson one." He murmured in a growl, "Make sure I'm asleep before _ever_ attempting that again." I whimpered behind his hand, writhing a little. Adjusting his hold over my mouth he pinched my nose closed, and punched me in the stomach. The pain was intense, but I couldn't make a sound. His hand too big on my face.

Fighting under him, I struggled to breathe. Squeezing my eyes shut around the involuntary tears. Releasing me after a few seconds, his hand released my mouth. I coughed hard, fighting for another breath in. His knees squeezed me, not letting that happen.

Unfortunately, he only released me for a slap.

"If you ever try that again," He growled, "You've got a lot worse than that coming."

He got off of me, probably making sure I didn't die right there. Letting me get a breath in.

With a sigh, he laid back down, "Now go to sleep, you stupid bitch."

After a few intensely painful moments, I rolled up and crawled to the other side of the bed.

"Oh, no." He chuckled as I laid down, "You fucked up." Sitting up, he took my arm violently in his hand, and pulled me off the bed. Pulling me over him and onto the floor, "You get the floor, and don't let me catch you on the couch, either."

I whimpered as he released me, letting me fall to my knees. I hadn't quite gotten the strength back in my legs. I kneeled there, rubbing my bruising arm as I looked up at him. Watching as he laid back down with a chuckling sigh.

"Moron." He muttered.

So there I laid, curled into a ball on the hardwood floor once I fully regained my breath. My plan failed, horribly, and I didn't have another one, so I gave up for the night. I was cold, but I knew I deserved this.

I woke in the morning to Jack kicking me on his way passed me to the bathroom. I rolled a little with the force of it, so I knew it wasn't an accident.

Thanks to my horrible night on the floor, I was tired. More tired than usual, and sore. I sat up, climbed to my feet, and crawled onto the bed and sat with my back to the door.

Blinking tiredly in the bright morning light, I sat there almost dazed for a minute. I raised my shirt, looking over the new bruise I had on my stomach. It wasn't as bad as it could be, but it hurt a whole lot. Looking up as Jack came back through, reaching down to lift the belt off the floor where I'd dropped it the night before. Inches from me. I let my shirt drop, not daring to move a muscle. I watched him closely, nervously biting my lip.

Glancing over, he noticed me watching him nervously, and he smirked. He chuckled, standing upright. Shaking his head, he turned. I thought he was going to ignore me again, so when he headed for the door, I looked down. Until I felt the pain.

He'd turned around, and gave me one good slap across my back with the belt. The sound echoing in the room as my skin erupted in pain. In what felt like a split second, he was there behind me. His hand back over my mouth, pinning my head back against his chest.

"Hold it." He threatened instantly in my ear, "Don't make a sound. Not one. Don't you dare." I held my breath where it threatened to leave me in a cry as he released my mouth. Testing me even more. Testing me to my limit. He obviously had more confidence in me than I thought before.

Biting my lip painfully as I laid to the side. He let me, watching. I let out the breath that tried to burst out in a only quiet sobbing whimper. The pain making my head spin, and my stomach turn.

"Ow." I panted quietly, and he chuckled.

"I'm impressed." He said, and he stood up. Seconds later, I heard the door close. Seconds after that, I was in breathless tears. Why did living have to hurt so much? I could feel the burning pain of the new welt raising over the older ones, aching deeply.

I stayed there, sniffling to myself quietly. Watching out the window at the sky. It was the only thing I could see from where I laid. I should be happy. I should be glad he stopped at one. I listened to the loud conversation downstairs. Jack's voice let nothing slip about the morning's activities. His laugh gave nothing away, until I couldn't hear it anymore.

Taking a deep breath, I realized how lonely I was. How much I wanted someone to understand. To be able to talk to someone. I thought about Alice yet again. She said she already knew. I could talk to her, I considered, just not mention where I was. All I wanted was to feel like someone cared about me again. Someone from home. Someone who could help me if I needed it. Heather was great and all, but she wasn't who I wanted. Someone like Alice wanting to be my friend was a very addicting feeling.

Forcing myself up, I hoped I had some time before I would be bothered. Glancing across the room, right to where I knew Jack's cellphone sat on the bedside table. I made a quick stop to my bag, and was incredibly relieved to find the card still sitting inside it. Still crinkled, but there it was.

I pulled the phone to me, sitting stiffly on the bed. Suddenly feeling incredibly lonely fueled me as I turned the card over in my hand. I dialed the number carefully.

Before I could call, however, the door opened. I darted to my feet. Standing there, I hid the phone and the card behind my back. Hastily clearing the number as Ken held my gaze. I slowly, very carefully slid the card into the back pocket of the pajama pants I wore, hoping he didn't see me move.

"Jack took the boys and their parents to lunch." Ken informed me after a few very tense seconds of silence, "As a sort of goodbye thing. Come on downstairs." If he noticed anything, he wasn't saying anything.

"When will he be back?" I asked quietly on my way passed him. He was quiet as he turned with me, sighing and taking my shoulder painfully in his hand. I winced, squeaking, but was otherwise silent. He noticed Jack's phone still in my hand, and he took it from me. Holding onto it himself.

"Leandra." He scolded, his tone half amused, "Now that you're mine, we can set a few ground rules." I stayed quiet, looking up at him, "Don't move, don't speak, don't ask questions unless expressly told to. Don't whine, don't cry, don't bug me. You'll go to school, and you'll come home. Dinner at five, and you'll be in bed by nine. Every day."

All of these sudden rules made my head spin a little. I was half surprised he was offering food every day. I nodded, letting him know I heard him. We reached the bottom of the stairs, and he led me toward the living room.

Those rules weren't much different than the ones Jack had set for me. They didn't seem so bad. Not so hard to live with. We stopped walking, and I looked up at him.

"Follow these rules, and we'll be okay." He continued, setting the phone down on the table, "Don't follow these rules, and we'll have a problem. I don't like having a problem." He was no longer trying to be comforting, "See, I'm not stupid. The way Jack went about things was stupid. I'm surprised nobody noticed you sooner, but that won't happen here. You're stuck with me, sweetheart, and I know ways to punish you without leaving a mark."

His tone scared me now. He meant every word, and I knew I had every reason to be afraid of him.

I realized then how small I was compared to him. I'd known it before, but somehow, his gaze made me feel even smaller as he turned me to face him. In a split second, I went from cooperative, to wanting to run. Just as I had with Alice, but this was out of fear, instead of self-preservation. I knew the difference.

I wasn't afraid of Alice, but I was afraid of Ken.

I tried to take a step back, but his hands captured my head, near my neck. Leaning down until he could stare straight into my eyes. I had no choice but to return his gaze. Even if it scared me. I gave a quiet whimper, trying to turn my head to look away, but he kept a tight hold. He waited until I stopped any attempts at freedom to speak again.

Just the way he looked at me made my skin crawl.

"To keep my son out of jail, I'll take you in." His tone was soft again, but still just as dangerous. Giving me a small nod, "You don't want him in jail, do you?" I was quiet, my breathing trembling along with me, "Do you?"

"N-No." I murmured, and he smiled a little. I bit my trembling lip briefly.

"Good." He said, his smile still in place, "That's good, because." He paused, holding me tighter as I whimpered and tried to pull away again. His thumbs rubbed my cheeks almost softly, "It's very easy for someone like you to go missing around here, and I'm a _very_ good liar. I can do the things I will do, and I will do them, because I know how, and there's nothing you can do about it. If you follow my rules, we won't have a problem. There's only one thing I'm asking of you."

I was alone with this lunatic. With one fleeting thought, my fear tripled.

This was how it would be when Jack left without me.

I couldn't speak now if I wanted to. A strong tremble drew a whimper from me. Until suddenly, he pulled me closer, and his lips pressed to mine. In a startled reaction, I fought, but he held me there easily. My strength no match for his.

My struggles only seemed to make him hold me tighter. I kicked and thrashed, but it did no good. My legs wouldn't hold me anymore, but he held me up. His kisses were painful, and I cried now. I squealed in protest as I felt his breath on my face, seconds away from loudly bawling. I sobbed against his lips, unable to do much else.

Jack never kissed me. Not once, so this scared me.

My legs were still useless in holding me upright, so when he finally shoved me away from him, I fell right to my butt. However, once I realized I was free, I turned over and raced across the room.

"You better pray they forget all about you, honey." He kept watch on me, "You're mine now and I won't stand for that." I crouched a little, retreating as far as the wall would let me. Tears streaking down both cheeks, I looked up at him.

I sobbed quietly, my hands pressed to the wall behind me. Almost willing it to disappear, and to let me out of this hell. I didn't know what else to do.

This trip suddenly meant something different. Jack had been planning this from the start. Ensuring I was no longer his problem. Did he know what his dad was like? Did he know what leaving me here would be like for me?

"One more thing." He told me, bringing my focus back to him, "Don't run from me." He took a step, and that's all it took. I ran.

I bolted, scrambling passed him. Just out of reach of him, so he couldn't grab me on my way by. I had to find some sort of safety. That's all I wanted. I even gave thought to trying to hide under the couch as I passed it, knowing full well I'd never fit.

That's when the chase started.

He gave a groan of frustration as he rounded to follow me. In my panic, I fumbled up the stairs, stupidly by-passing the front door.

I made it to the hallway, but he was faster. He plucked me up like I weighed five pounds, spinning me around and lifting me under my arms. Off my feet, holding me up easily.

"What did I _just_ say?" He shook me roughly, and though he was chuckling, he was mad. I knew that, "Don't you know how to _listen_, girl?" I whimpered as he shook me harder, until he dropped me. My legs tried to buckle, but he caught me again. Capturing my face once more. Kissing me for the second time. Harder this time. I screamed against his mouth, terror stealing my rational thought. Twisting and fighting again. Fighting this time did even less to free me than it had before. His grip on my head, partially down my neck was hurting me.

Something sort of snapped in my mind, and before I could even think twice, my teeth sank into his lip. I only had time to barely bite, before he was away from me. He pushed me back, and I landed against the wall with a light thud. I stood there for a second, petrified to the wall. Visciously trembling, quaking from head to toe. I was shocked my legs could hold me up with how badly I shook. I peered up at him, covering my mouth with my trembling hand.

He wasn't bleeding, but I knew if I had bitten him any harder, I would have drawn blood. It was obvious he was shocked, staring at me. Until his eyes narrowed.

"You little bitch." For a second I was stuck there, "You little bitch!" That got me running again. Shoving passed him and back down the stairs, listening to him slamming his hand against the wall as he rounded to follow me. Jack was more like him than I thought. I didn't stop to think about that, though.

"How I've missed this!" He laughed behind me, but even the laugh was intensely angry. I nearly fell down the stairs in my haste, not touching the step for longer than a second as I yanked myself down. Squeaking in fear. Rounding quickly at the bottom of the stairs, I tore back through the house. My heart in my throat, I ran as quickly as I could toward the back door.

Until my hair was grabbed, twisted violently and I was pulled to a very painful stop.

I choked on my fearful cries now, half crawling and half being dragged behind him as he pulled me back toward the living room.

"You kids think you're fast." He chuckled angrily, stopping by a closet in the hallway. Slamming the door open with my hair still in his fist. Reaching in, he grabbed something, slamming the door closed again after him.

Dragging me, whimpering and crying, into the living room before dropping me onto the carpet. I attempted to scramble away, but he only had to take one step to catch up to me. He wasted no time.

I heard it whistle through the air, before it hit me. It wasn't a belt, but something much thinner. It was more pliable than any belt I'd ever felt, but the pain was deeper as it curled over me.

I only got six good whacks, curled in on myself until he was done. I breathed heavily, my arms shielding my head as I cried into the carpet. He stood back, watching me.

"I didn't want to do that." He finally said, listening to my cries, "You left me no choice." Kneeling beside me with quiet sigh, he took hold of my arm and pulled it away from my head, peering down at me. The thin rope still in his hand. I refused to look at him, so he reached down and gripped my face in one hand this time. Turning my head to look up at him.

I held my breath to stop my crying, whimpering at each breath out. At some point, while looking into his eyes, I suddenly thought of what I was doing before he came into the room. I thought about who I was about to call. I took another, deeper breath, before my cries restarted.

"Have you had enough?" He asked, and that only reenforced my thoughts of Alice. The way he asked that was like a trigger, reminding me of the last conversation I had with Alice. He didn't even know it, but he'd just made up my mind for me.

The answer to that was clear. They could help me. If I could get away, they could help me.

"Have you?" He asked again, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. I whimpered, pushing myself up a little. Not sure what else there was to do.

He pulled me closer, about to kiss me again, and that was it.

Another snap in my mind answered for me, and without waiting, I turned my head, biting onto his wrist. Going with instinct. The second the pressure in my face released I jumped away.

I flinched as he shouted in anger, grabbing for the cell phone sitting on the table before racing back toward the door. The door opened just as I reached it.

I didn't stop in surprise. I wasn't about to stop. Shoving passed Heather, nearly tripping in my haste. She tried to catch me, to steady me, but I fought away and continued on.

I didn't stop to wonder why they were back so soon.

"Leandra." She called in surprise, watching after me. Passed Jack, and passed Mike. Passed the boys. I didn't stop.

"Leandra." Josh called after me, "Wait up. Where are you going?" I didn't wait. I didn't stop running. I raced up the street into the afternoon light.

"Leandra!" Ken called after me, and that only made me run faster.

"Leandra, stop!" Heather called again, and as much as I hated upsetting her, I continued.

"Leandra." Jack's voice actually did have me slide to a stop, right there in the middle of the street, "Don't you take one more step." My panting panicked breathing shook, trembling along with the rest of me. I had a choice to make right then.

"Turn around." He barked, "And get your ass back here." I whimpered, standing stock still. Slowly, I turned. Looking back at them from where I stood up the street, "Come here." Stupidly, I sobbed, and I shook my head. For once, I was telling Jack no. I wouldn't. I couldn't let myself go to him.

"What did you do?" Heather suddenly demanded, her eyes on Ken standing on the porch. I wasn't paying attention to them right then, though. My eyes were on Jack's eyes on me.

"Leandra!" Jack's command was heavier now, and I flinched. Squeezing my eyes shut, I realized. I'd had enough. I couldn't go back to them. Not with what waited for me. I shook my head, still refusing. Jack only managed to take two steps before I got moving.

This was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, but instead of going back to Jack, I took first one step backwards, then another. Realizing that was harder than what came next, I found I could move again. Even if I went to him now, I would still be in so much trouble. More trouble than I was tempted to go through right then.

I spun, and I started to run again. I heard him growl, and that was the last I heard. I stopped listening to what was going on back there. Glancing back, I saw he wasn't chasing me. He was running back inside.

I didn't look back again. I had to hurry. In my mind, I was thinking about how long it would take for Jack to get into his truck, and chase me down. He'd have to walk back inside, and find his keys. They'd taken Mike's SUV out that morning, for the extra room.

In case Mike decided to hunt me down as well, with a whimper, I ran faster. Rounding the block, I bought myself a few more minutes if I was lucky, but I was still headed the same direction. I had a head start, and I wasn't about to waste it.

I thought hard as I ran, my thoughts racing as fast as I was. The cell phone held tightly in my hand. This was it. I could never go back. Jack didn't want me anymore, that was fine, but I wasn't going to stay with Ken. I knew, even then, that there was no way I could stay. This would have happened eventually, and I knew I'd learn to hate in that house. As okay as Heather seemed, I didn't want to become her. I had to get away now, before I learned to listen to Ken. That was nothing but a trap. Ensuring I'd always stay stuck there.

I wasn't going to be raised by Satan's father. I wasn't going to stick around, just to see what else Ken had planned for me. I could still feel his lips on mine, and his breath on my face. The memory of it made my stomach turn, and it was all I could do to keep running, and not throw up.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't stand it. The fear of remembering what he did pushed me on. Passed the ache in my lungs, passed the pain of the pavement against my bare feet.

I choked on a sob as I ran, as I realized. I was not only running for my life, but from my life.

The decision I just made was the single step I had to make for myself. Without even really knowing it, I'd decided to turn my back on everything I knew before. And for what? Alice had told me to call when I'd had enough, and I was praying harder than I ever had before that she didn't go back on that now. This had to be the very definition of blind faith. I had to trust not only her, but her family as well. That was a very hard thing to do.

My life, right then, was hanging on whether or not they could do something to help me. As much as that thought scared me, I hesitantly hoped.

"Please." I sobbed to myself, my breathing racing harder than it had in awhile, "Don't turn me away." I needed her. I needed them. I didn't know if they could really help me or not, but it was the best chance I had at getting away. My only chance. Without them, I'd have no choice but to go back, and hope at only three days in the box. If Jack didn't kill me for what I just did.

I could never do this alone.

My bare feet slapped against the pavement with each running stride, and I didn't slow down. Even when I reached the main street several blocks away. I ran across the busy street, narrowly missing being hit by at least three cars.

I didn't stop running. I had no idea where I was going, but I just ran until I found myself somewhere Ken would never look for me. Where his house was situated, wasn't far from the center of the city. It didn't take me long to reach a very populated area. Which was just what I was looking for. I hoped that maybe he'd think I had kept running. Not stopping to look until he was much farther away than I was.

Nobody stopped me, thankfully. Nobody seemed to think a kid running down the street in her pajamas and bare feet was odd. I preferred it that way. Fuck them.

The safest place I found was a dark alleyway between two buildings, and I crouched behind a dumpster about halfway down the alley. It was shaded down this far, and I knew it'd be difficult to see me if he were to come looking. Which I had no doubts he would.

Crouched there in my thin pajamas and bare feet, I had no other choice. I was out of options, and at my wits end. Scared, and now all alone, I had one option. The broken glass beside the dumpster stabbed into the bottoms of my feet painfully, until I laid a piece of cardboard box leaning against the wall down and perched on that.

I shakily pulled out the card scrunched into my pocket. Relieved somehow to find it there. Flattening it out over my knee, I dialed the number, already starting to cry again. My fingers shaking so hard, I had to start over twice. I was shaking so roughly, my teeth chattered. I wasn't cold, though. Even if it was a little chilly here in the dark alleyway.

It was a very big relief to hear Carlisle's voice as he answered. I couldn't speak at first, too scared to make a sound. What if he'd already forgotten about me? What if to him, that offer had expired?

"Hello?" He had to ask again, as I hadn't spoken yet.

"I've had enough." I sobbed into the phone, "I can't stay anymore. Please." I'd meant to ask for Alice, but I couldn't wait that long. I could barely hold onto the phone. How he responded now was what my life depended on. Every sobbing breath I took held onto his response.

"Leandra, calm down." Carlisle instructed me, the comfort in his tone more than I'd ever heard before. It was instant, like he'd comforted me before, "Just breathe. Tell me where you are, and I'll be there." Was he telling me he was going to help me?

"You can't." My sobbing voice hardly made a sound, "I can't stay anymore. I need you to come get me but I don't know where I am." I wasn't thinking straight. I meant that I didn't know where I'd run to, but that was too much to explain right then. Tears flooded down my cheeks. In my hightened fear, I almost forgot how to speak, "You can't, but I need you to come get me. Please."

I had to be hard to understand, but I couldn't calm down. I coughed two more sobs, looking around. I was just steps away from openly bawling, and I knew I had to cool it. I had to be quiet, or I was going to blow it.

"I'll be there." He told me firmly, and I gasped for breath for a moment. The familiarity of his voice took me off guard for a moment. Long enough to clear my thoughts enough. Just enough to realize he'd just told me exactly what I needed so badly to hear right then.

"California." I sobbed. I managed to sob out the name of the city, and begged him, "Don't let them find me, Carlisle. _Please_ don't let them find me." He couldn't stop that from happening any more than I could, but I needed to tell him. To somehow let him know how afraid I was. I was terrified. So scared of everything.

"I'm on my way." He told me, the same firmness in his voice, "Stay put." I sobbed in relief now, but not enough to calm down. I couldn't relax until he was there. How long had it taken us to get there? He continued, "If you find a cop, go with them."

"No." I shook my head, "He knows them. He has to know them." I recalled his threat. Telling me that he could do whatever he wanted, and from that, I took that he meant he would never get into any trouble.

"Leandra, he won't-"

"You don't know him." I cried, "I don't trust them. I trust _you_." He was quiet now, and I wasn't sure if I'd pissed him off yet, "Carlisle?"

"I'm coming to you." He repeated, "Be careful, Leandra."

I sniffled hard, nodding, "Okay." I struggled so hard to get myself under control, "Okay. I-I'll just... I'll j-just stay here. I won't move, okay?"

He kept me on the phone, and despite how I still looked around paranoid, I talked with him. I slowly calmed down enough to breathe, and uncurl from my crouched ball. I quieted down, something I never thought I'd ever be able to do. I listened to him when he told me to just stay calm, and I never even realized just how tight I held onto each word he said.

"Should I move?" I whimpered, "Find another spot?"

"No." He replied, "Stay where you are, okay?"

"Okay." I sniffled, "I'll stay."

"Are you outside?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I answered, "I'm hiding between the two bars on one of the main streets." That didn't tell him much, but I'd give him more information when I was brave enough to look for it. For right then, I was still too scared to move.

"Actually." Carlisle spoke again, "Yes. Move. Find another spot, but be careful."

"Okay. I'll try." I mumbled, sniffling as I pulled myself to my feet. Trembling where I stood, looking back toward the street. I hated the idea of moving out into the open. Even for the tiniest amount of time it'd take to find a new hiding spot.

With the phone in hand, I managed to dart back across the street, making it to the tiny alley between the general store and a restaurant on the corner. It wasn't much better, but it was better than where I was.

"I'm cold." I mumbled without thinking. There wasn't much I could do to fix that, aside from finding a building I could hide out in and hope the people inside didn't call Jack. I didn't trust anyone but Carlisle and the rest of the family. Everyone else could go straight to hell.

The battery on the phone started to die around three that afternoon, roughly three hours after I first called him, so I had to hang up and save what was left of it. I used that time to snooze until I got a call at about seven-thirty that night.

"Hello?" I asked, the first ring not even through yet.

"Where are you?" Carlisle asked, "I need to know where you're hiding." I gave him the name of the street, and the store I was beside. I hoped that was enough, "Give me three minutes." And he hung up again. I followed suit, now peeking around the dumpster, toward the street. I waited, my breath coming in trembling gasps. Each car that drove by I looked for some hint that it was him. Or Jack. I was so scared Jack was going to find me before Carlisle could.

It didn't even register to me how Carlisle had made about a sixteen hour trip in less than eight. I didn't care. All that mattered to me was the fact that he was there. He came, just like he said he would.

Cold from hiding in the shade for so long, and shivering from the fear I still felt, I didn't know what to think when I saw his car pull up. I couldn't think anymore. It pulled up outside the alley beside the curb, and I stood up from my place beside the dumpster. I had to make sure, though, so I waited. I recognized the shiny black paint, the pitch dark tint on the windows. I cried, suddenly trembling triple fold as I saw him stand from the car.

It was Carlisle, no doubt about it. The same one I was so scared of just a few days before. All I could think about was that he was there. He climbed out, rounding the front of the car in a hurry. I didn't hesitate now.

I ran forward the moment he took one step into the alley, and I hugged him. So relieved to see him. I just needed him to know. I wasn't trying to bother him, but this was just too much for me. I was alone, and I was tired. More scared than I'd ever been before. I needed him to know how much this meant to me. That someone who had no idea who I was would come through when I desperately needed him to.

Sobbing silently into his side, taking deep breaths before sobbing them out. Tears flooding down my cheeks, falling from my chin nearly constantly. I couldn't stop them any more than I could stop being so scared.

"I tried." I cried, "I tried to be brave, but I can't."

"Leandra." He sighed, "You are brave."

"No I'm not."

"I understand how much courage this has to take." He replied and I was quiet now. He let me cry for only a little while before he spoke again, "Alright. Come with me. I'll get you something to eat, and we'll discuss what comes next, okay?"

Sniffling, I nodded, reluctantly pulling back. He took my hand, and I paused, looking up at him. It didn't bother me for him to take my hand. Instead of leaving my hand limp for fear of him thinking I was resisting, I held his hand in return. I trusted him.

Despite how cold my hand was, his was even colder. That was significant enough to me that I paid attention to it. Even through the mind-numbing fear. Looking up at him, I was both desperately grateful, and intensely cautious.

He came through. That was all that mattered.

**A/N: I wish I could stab Ken with a butter knife. Repeatedly. In the face.  
So there you have it. The final straw, kids. She _finally_ called. I reeeeally didn't want to make all this happen in like three chapters. How lame would that be? ****THANK YOU to my reviewers! You made my afternoon! :D And it's because of you guys, that you now have chapter eight. All brand shiny new. (:  
Chapter nine may take a bit of time, because I haven't quite caught up to where I need to be on that one yet. It's going to be.. Familiar, I guess, from here on out. This don't happen the same way as they do in BTT-RV though. No worries. I'll be giving you something fresh to read, but it'll have just a subtle hint of familiarity. Maybe blatant, but who cares, right? :D  
Anyhoo. Until chapter nine, my friends. (:  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Carlisle led me back to the car, opening the back passenger door for me.

Inside the car was warm, and I wasted no time in climbing in. Eagerly crawling, scrambling across the seat until I got to the middle. I didn't want to be out in the open for longer than I had to be. Just the sound of the door closing gently behind me making me jump.

"Oh, honey." Esme's sad tone greeted me as she turned to look at me. I hadn't expected her to have come along as well, but I didn't mind. I liked the thought that she would want to come with him to get me.

My wide eyed expression had to bother her, but I couldn't help it. I trembled roughly, both scared and cold. Drawing my legs up on the seat, I lowered my head. Resting my forehead on my knees. A muted, muffled sob was all I was capable of.

"I want to know." Carlisle said as he climbed into his seat, "I want to know what I'm taking you from."

"Y-You mean, like.. W-What he does? What they do?"

"Yes." He answered, "I want you to be honest with me, Leandra." He paused, "No, I need you to be honest with me. No lies, no avoiding the answer. But first, we'll get a hotel room. You need a chance to calm down before anything else. We'll stay the night there, and start home in the morning." I nodded, sniffling. As long as he didn't make me go back to Jack right away, I didn't care what we did. Forcing myself to breathe, whimpering at each strong tremble.

I waited in the car with Esme as Carlisle went in and paid for the room at a hotel just up the street. I was silent. More nervous than I'd been in a long time. Esme watched me, a pained expression in her eyes. Curled into a tight ball, biting my lip.

Carlisle came back out, and opened Esme's door for her. I wasn't particularly eager to move immediately, so I hesitated as Carlisle opened my door for me as well.

"It's alright, honey." Esme was the one to get me to come out. Holding her hand out for me.

"They're going to find me." I whimpered, and her eyes softened.

"No they won't." She assured me, "And even if they do, we'd never let anything happen to you." I had no choice but to believe her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't spend all night out in the car. So I scooted closer to the door, and let her take my hand. Standing shakily, I instantly hugged onto her side. Squeezing my eyes shut, so I wouldn't have to see them when they did find me.

"Go ahead inside." Carlisle told her, "I'll be right behind you."

I held tight to Esme as we headed for the door. Shivering all over again, I couldn't calm down.

"He's gonna see me." I whimpered, "I just know it." She held me closer to her side, almost as if she were shielding me as she glanced around. Even walking the few short steps to the hotel was nearly too much on my already rattled nerves.

I was just paranoid, however, and we made it up to the room without a problem.

True to his word, Carlisle had followed us. Carrying a single duffel bag. Probably with their clothes in it. As curious as I was, I couldn't focus on that.

"I'll be downstairs." Esme offered once I was inside the room, "I'll get you something to eat, sweetheart." I looked up at her gratefully, letting her step away, before looking around the room. Two queen sized beds took up most of the space, and the one closest to me was calling my name. Esme left, closing the door quietly behind her.

I was beginning to feel safer. Just being inside somewhere made me feel better. The light on in the corner made the room feel warmer. It wasn't too much, but just enough to give me slight comfort.

I really didn't know what to do, though. Standing there with Carlisle, I continued to tremble. I knew he was watching me, but I didn't look up at him. Trying to calm down. I couldn't imagine how pathetic I had to look to him. Trembling, probably filthy. Having to call for help from someone two states away. Someone I didn't even really know.

Things had just gone so wrong _so_ quickly, I almost couldn't believe it.

The heat chose that time to turn on, and the sound of it clicking on was just enough to startle me. Jumping, yelping quietly. Stupidly, I started to cry again.

Hating how sensitive I was, how silly it was to cry over the heater turning on. After the day I'd had, however, it was all I could do. The slightest things would instantly raise my stress level to maximum height, until I'd tell myself I was okay. After spending the entire afternoon like that, it was hard to break myself out of that.

"I know." Carlisle's tone was quiet. Not at all annoyed, or irritated. He placed the receipt papers on the table, and reached for me. I let him take my wrist, much gentler than anyone had all all week, pulling me to him. Since I was too scared to move, he had to move me. He hugged me into his side, which I allowed. I just stood there, hugging him as tight as I could. I was both confused and torn.

I wasn't used to this. I wasn't used to relying on someone else, and them actually coming through like this. I squeezed the tears from my tired eyes, sighing a yawning sob.

I just wanted things to be okay. I wasn't asking for much. I didn't want everything in the world. I only wanted okay.

"Do you want to sit down?" Carlisle asked, and I instantly shook my head. Declining. I was just fine with standing. At least until I asked what I needed to ask. Taking a breath, I decided to just go for it. A tense few seconds of silence passed, until I spoke.

"Are you gonna make me sit on your lap, too?" I asked, looking up at him. I waited for his answer. My fearful eyes met his deeply concerned ones, and I already knew his answer, but I had to hear it first.

"Of course not." He answered quietly after a moment of obvious shock, "Leandra, none of us would ever make you do anything like that." Hearing him promise like that, using those words, I accepted it.

"I know it's stupid to ask that." I sniffled, looking down again, "B-But I had to be sure. I'm so confused." He didn't reply to that, only hugging me tighter. Even as another yawn came out, I didn't want to let go.

"Leandra, is that what they did?" He asked after a moment longer of silence.

"I thought Alice could see?" I looked up again.

"She wouldn't tell me." He replied, shaking his head, "All I know, is that it's bad." I looked back down at that word.

"It's worse than that." I corrected quietly.

"Leandra, please be honest with me." He requested, "Either way, you're not going back."

I sighed, stepping back. Turning away.

"You can't let them find me, Carlisle." I whimpered, "And if I tell you, you can't tell him I told you."

"You'll be fine." He assured me, watching me as I moved to the bed, sitting on the side of it slowly. Wincing a little as I did so. Warming up, I definitely felt the effort I had to put forth just that afternoon. My bruises hated me, and that was enough to make me hate breathing.

"You have to promise." I corrected, shaking my head a little, "He can't find out I said anything. It's bad enough I ran away. He's going to be so _mad_.."

"Leandra, he's going to know when they arrest him." He explained, sitting down at the table. I looked to him, instantly trembling again.

"Arrest him?" I asked, "Like.. Send him to jail?"

"If the abuse is bad enough, yes." Carlisle nodded.

"No." I shook my head, "That can't happen."

"What were you expecting to happen?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know." I mumbled, "Isn't there a way you can help me without him finding out?"

He was quiet for a moment, probably thinking.

"Leandra, why are you afraid of him finding out?" He finally asked, and I looked down. Glancing up as Esme returned, closing the door behind herself.

"Because I don't want to die." It was clear after admitting that, that they had underestimated Jack before. Esme paused setting the white plastic bag she held on the table, looking to Carlisle. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

"Where did you get an idea like that, honey?" Esme asked, concerned.

"He told me." I answered, "If I ever told anyone about what he did, and if he ever found out, he'd kill me." I looked down, "And now, there's Ken. He told me that if Jack ever went to jail, I'd be the one he'd come after."

I could tell by looking up that I had even more of their attention. To them, this just got a whole lot more serious. To me, it always had been, but they didn't understand before. Now they were starting to.

I looked down, sighing.

"I never should have run." I mumbled, "I'm going to be in so much trouble. I-I don't even know why I did. I was just.. So afraid."

"Can you tell us about it?" Esme asked quietly, sitting beside me. I looked to her, sighing again as I leaned forward. Drawing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them.

"There's so much to tell." I murmured after a moment, "But you can't tell him you heard it from me. Even if he's in jail, he won't stay there. That's even if he goes at all."

"Start with today." She suggested, "What made you finally decide to call us, sweetheart?" That seemed pretty easy to answer.

"I don't want to live in California." I admitted, looking to her, "Not here."

"You don't have to." She assured me, shaking her head a little, "Was Jack going to move here with you?"

"No." I answered, "He was going to make me live here with Ken."

"Who is Ken?" She asked, and I bit my lip. Just the thought of him made my heart drop uncomfortably.

"Jack's dad." I mumbled, swallowing nervously, "I don't like him. I would rather stay with Jack. I tried to change Jack's mind, but it didn't work. That's why he brought me here. He was going to go back home, but I would have to stay."

"Why?"

"Because I'm too much trouble." I whimpered, resting my chin on my knees, "Ken said it was because I was noticed. I couldn't stay there with him, though. I thought if I tried, I might like him at least a little more than Jack, but I just couldn't." I hardly noticed the tear that scattered down my cheek, "I couldn't. I got scared, and I ran, and if Jack ever finds me again, I'm done for."

"Okay." Carlisle sighed, "Leandra, I want as honest of an answer as you can give me." I looked his direction now, remaining in my insecure little ball, "What does Jack do to you?" I looked down. Silent now. How was I supposed to tell him that when he knew what it would mean?

"I don't know how to say it." I mumbled after a moment, my voice hardly making a sound.

"Straight-forward." He replied, "Just tell me."

"He hits me." I found myself blurting, "All the time." Briefly, my fear tried to shut me up, but somehow, I pushed through it. Carlisle needed to know, "S-Sometimes, it's not so bad. Just.. A slap here or there, but other times, it's.. It's hard." I kept my eyes on my hands, "We fight. W-Well, I mean.. It's not really fighting. Not really. He yells, and I run." I glanced over as Esme sat down beside me. I bit my lip, "I still have bruises from the last bad one, if you have to see them."

"What else, Leandra?" He asked gently, "Why did you ask me that? Before?" I was thinking, trying hard to come up with some way to get him to forget about that, "Leandra, he did more to you than hit you, didn't he?"

Just by hearing him ask, my nervousness exploded. Increased triple fold, and because of that, it was much harder to keep from crying yet again. I was a wreck.

I didn't know how to say it, so I stayed quiet. He'd found a subject I wasn't willing to budge on.

"Leandra?" He prompted. Receiving nothing but silence.

If he ever needed me to be quiet for any length of time, it was easily achieved by asking me about this. Nothing but silence remained now, and I couldn't change that. I focused on the comforter I sat on, nervously tugging on a loose thread.

I didn't know what it was. I knew it was rude, to act this way, but it was the only way I knew of not to have to answer. I wasn't exactly pretending like I didn't hear him, because I did hear him, and I knew he knew I heard him.

"Leandra, honey. It's okay." Esme tried now, and I glanced to her before looking back down. I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. My voice just wouldn't work. I was tired, and I was scared. Though I knew they weren't impatient in the slightest, I knew they were waiting.

I was positive it would take all of their patience to get this answer from me.

After several intense minutes of silence, he sighed.

"Why did you ask me that, Leandra?" Carlisle asked again, and though that was the same question he asked before, it was worded differently.

"I had to make sure." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"Why?" He asked, and I was quiet again, "Do I give you that impression?"

"No." I answered immediately, "No. You don't."

"Has someone done that to you before?"

"Yes." He already knew that, though. It was quiet for another few minutes. He was obviously waiting for me to make the effort, but I was so afraid.

"I need you to be honest with me." He finally spoke again. Still gently, but I looked up.

"I haven't lied." I told him.

"No, but you're avoiding the answer." He pointed out, "Why?"

"I'm scared." I replied honestly.

"I know you are." He allowed, "But you don't have to be anymore. Part of you knows that. You know you're okay now. Don't you?" I nodded a little, "Then answer me. Please."

I was trying to, but it was harder than I thought it would be. He was giving me all the patience in the world, yet here I was. Stalling like I expected him to beat me.

"Leandra." Carlisle took my attention again, "Please." I was quiet, hesitantly meeting his gaze. I didn't see anger there. He wasn't mad at me, only deeply concerned. He was worried about me, "Can you tell me?"

"I'll try." I murmured after a minute more of silence, "But can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything." He replied.

"Don't hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?" He asked in return, and I looked down again.

"Because I hate me." I mumbled, "And if I hate myself, then it shouldn't be that hard for you to hate me too."

"Why do you hate yourself?" Carlisle asked, and I glanced over as Esme sat closer beside me.

"Because of what he does." I couldn't ignore how stupid that sounded, "He always told me that if anyone ever found out, they'd hate me. I never used to care. Not really, but I care if you hate me."

"Honey, that isn't possible." Esme assured me, and I looked to her, "Would it be easier to tell me?" I thought about it.

"Not really." I admitted, "It's not easy at all."

"We understand that, sweety." Before she even finished saying that, I started to cry again. This was definitely harder than I ever imagined before.

"I think we should take a break." Carlisle murmured, standing.

Before I could think too much about it, I forced myself to answer him. Before I could stop myself, I spoke.

"I didn't want to." I mumbled, and I knew by the way he looked to me that he was listening, "What he did, I didn't want to do. Not once." He was quiet, listening as he slowly sat back down, "He comes into my room at night, and I know that what he does, he shouldn't. I know it shouldn't be that way, but it is that way. I know it's wrong."

I had yet to look at him, my cheeks warm with embarrassment. Esme wasted no time in reaching over, hugging me into her side. Just that action was enough to comfort me enough to keep talking.

"I asked you what I asked you," I continued quietly, "Because Ken liked it when I sat on his lap. He'd hold me there. Jack told me to just deal with it, because it wouldn't change. Ken hasn't hurt me the way Jack hurts me yet, but I know he would have. I'm not stupid."

"There are two questions I have to ask." Carlisle murmured, and I kept my eyes down. Hesitantly, I reached over and took Esme's hand in mine, holding tight to it. I waited, listening.

"First, I need to know." He was careful now, his voice reflecting that, "What exactly would he do? I have an idea, but I need more of an answer if you can."

"I can't say it." I whimpered, biting my lip.

"Okay." He replied quietly, "Okay, Leandra. The details can wait." That eased me. He wasn't going to push me on this, which I appreciated. Without the pressure there, it was easier for me to consider how to answer without actually saying it.

"It wasn't just his hands." I admitted after a few moments of silence, clearly feeling and hearing how my emotion quieted my voice as I shook my head, "It wasn't just that. I wish it was, but it wasn't."

That answer bothered him. Given the way he stood up. Esme hugged me tighter, so I knew she at least wasn't upset with me. They didn't say anything, which both worried me, and eased me. It was strange.

"I didn't want to." I had to make sure they understood that part.

"Can you tell me the last time that happened?" Carlisle asked, and I sighed. That was much easier to answer.

"The last time was.." I trailed off, thinking, "The night before we left. To come here. A few days ago."

"Alright." He sighed after a moment, "Thank you for telling me, Leandra." I sniffled, and nodded. He didn't think any less of me. He wasn't disgusted by me, or ashamed of me.

"That's the worst of it." I murmured, finally looking up shamefully. He might not have been ashamed of me, but I was ashamed of myself. I didn't even know why, but there was no denying that emotion was there, "There's a lot more to it, but that's the worst of it."

"There's one thing I want you to do right now." He told me quietly, and I waited, "Just rest now."

"I don't know how."

I watched as he moved to the bag sitting on the floor, and opened it. Curiously, I watched as he lifted out a warm set of pajamas.

These pajamas were a really pretty blue color, and looked a little too big for me. They weren't very heavy looking, but not as thin as the set of pajamas I was wearing currently. He set them on the table, noticing me watching him.

"These are for you." He explained gently, "Get clean, and I'll be right back in a moment, okay?" I pursed my lips, sighing, but I nodded anyway.

I hesitantly stood, finally moving away from Esme.

"Esme, a word?" Carlisle wanted to talk to her alone. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

By the time they came back in, I had already taken my cold shower, and was too close to falling asleep to move. Much too tired. I shivered under the blanket, colder than I had been before, but my mind needed sleep too much to let that keep it awake.

"Honey." Esme was concerned at how tight of a ball I was curled up into.

"The water is colder here, I think." I mumbled, leaving my eyes closed. I felt the bed dip, looking up at Carlisle beside me. He gently placed the back of his fingers against my cheek, and I kept my eyes on him. Tensing. He frowned, sighing.

"What do you mean by that, sweetheart?" Esme asked, sitting by my feet.

"The water." I mumbled, finally looking to her, "From the shower."

"Did the warm water not work?" She asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't know. I'm not allowed to try it." I answered, and she turned her horrified gaze to Carlisle. Trembling like this hurt. I was tense like I always remembered being. I closed my eyes again, curling tighter into my ball. I always hated the warming up after a shower. It hurt so much.

"Come here, honey." Esme stood up, gesturing I do so as well. I hesitated, watching her, "It's okay." Slowly, I uncurled, whimpering as I kicked the blanket off of me, and my shivers restarted full force.

She led me into the bathroom, and I stood there, watching her restart the water. This time, instead of a shower, it was a bath she started. Biting my lip as she fixed the temperature of the water with the hot water. I hadn't had a bath in so long, as I switched from baths as soon as I could. A cold shower was more tolerable than sitting submerged in cold water.

After a moment, she looked to me, "There you go, sweetheart. That should be a little better." I waited, unsure, "Come on, honey. It's alright."

"I've never been allowed." I replied quietly, standing there shivering, "Are you sure I won't get into trouble for it?"

"Why would you get into trouble for using hot water?" She asked, concerned.

"Jack." I mumbled, "He always told me I never earned it, so it's always been cold showers for me."

"Well," She said, "I think you've earned it long ago. Give it a try, honey." I hesitated, until I curiously stepped forward.

"Am I allowed?" I had to make sure, looking up at her.

"Of course you are." She told me, and I nodded, stepping closer to the tub. Slowly, I reached my hand out, and touched the water. The warmth that surrounded my hand made me shiver, and I smiled a little.

She gently smoothed my hair, turning to leave. I turned, following her a little.

"C-Can you stay?" I asked quietly, and she paused, "I'm a little nervous."

"Of course." She gave me a comforting smile, and I nodded.

I hesitated for just a few seconds. Realizing that I was about to show someone else what Jack did for the first time. I waited, steeling myself. I'd already dug my own grave by telling them, why not show them too?

I turned my back to her, and carefully lifted my shirt over my head. I paused at her quiet gasp. Glancing back at her, noticing her deeply saddened gaze. I felt bad.

"Sorry." I mumbled, pulling the shirt all the way off. Freeing my arms, "It's like that all over."

"Oh, honey." She murmured sadly.

"It's bad." I nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I should have warned you."

"No, honey." She replied, "It's not your fault." I watched as she turned, opening the door just a bit. Probably calling Carlisle in. I sighed, standing there and waiting. As much as that unsettled me, I wasn't going to say anything. I was far too tired to put up much of a fight anymore anyway, even if I wanted to.

To be honest, I sort of expected this reaction. For the first time, I was actually showing proof of Jack's actions. That bothered me, it really did, but I trusted them.

Sure enough, he took one look at me, and came in.

"They were worse before." I mumbled as he kneeled behind me, already pressing along the outside of the bruises gently, "They've healed a lot." There wasn't a lot of room for him to press without having to press on another bruise. I hardly had any clear skin anywhere. He put hardly any pressure, so it didn't hurt. Not really.

"I can see that." Carlisle murmured, concerned.

"They don't hurt as much anymore." I continued, keeping my eyes on the wall, "Only now and then. When I move or breathe wrong." I suppressed the urge to cringe away, biting my lip. He never pressed too hard, though, and after only a few minutes, he stood and stepped back.

"Jack did that to you?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded, turning to face him.

"It depends, though." I said, "The older ones are from awhile ago. Couple days. The skinnier ones are from today." I turned a little, trying to see my own back in the mirror. That was difficult to do without stretching the bruises, so I gave up with a sigh, "Ken did those ones. They're not so bad."

"There's nothing I can do about the bruises." He murmured, "But I can give you something for the pain-"

"No thanks." I mumbled, tensing and shaking my head, "I don't need it."

"Are you sure?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I don't like taking stuff that makes me sleep." I replied, "Last time I did that, I woke up hurting more than before I went to sleep." His eyes closed briefly, and he hung his head for a second. As if having a hard time with that. I pursed my lips, looking away.

I waited until he left before removing the last piece of clothing on me. Esme stayed with me, thankfully, keeping me company.

The warm water certainly took some getting used to, but it was a very, very welcome and pleasant change from the cold. I settled into the warm water, surprised at how much this didn't hurt.

After my bath, I sat cuddled with a pillow on the bed. My tired eyes on the floor as Esme gently brushed out my clean hair. For as long as I could remember, I'd never had anyone do this for me. For once, I wasn't just someone's beer bringer, or someone's problem.

Just like the warm water, this would take some getting used to.

Now that I was calm, I could think. I felt better now that they knew, as weird as it sounded. I felt better, relieved that I didn't have to hide anymore. Not with them. I didn't have to pretend that I was okay. I was cautiously learning that it was okay to not be okay.

"Leandra." Esme murmured, "You never said what made you run away today."

"Ken." I answered quietly, my voice partially hidden by the pillow.

"What happened?" She asked, "What did he do?"

I was quiet for a minute, knowing it was pointless to try to stall anymore. The sooner I answered her, the sooner I could go to sleep.

"I found out last night," I explained, "That Jack was going to leave me here. Because he found the card Alice gave me. With your number." I looked to Carlisle, "I kept it hidden for as long as I could, but he found it, and he was mad." I trailed off, getting my thoughts straight.

"Jack took the others out, so Ken could talk to me alone." I continued, "He told me.. That I had all these new rules to follow, and I didn't think the rules were so bad. It wasn't that that made me run." I paused again, hesitating.

"What was it?" Esme prompted, and I realized why it was so hard not to answer her. The tone she used was quiet, caring. Like she honestly wanted to know, so she could comfort me. It was strange to me, but I remembered it from that day. The day I first met her.

I kept my tired eyes down, my heart skipping a beat as I clearly remembered how scared I had been just a few hours ago. I was so worn out, I couldn't stall much longer. I just wanted it over with, and I hoped that once I told them, I wouldn't be asked about it again.

"He kissed me." I mumbled, those three words threatening to make tears spring to my eyes. Before they did, though, I yawned instead.

"Pardon?" Carlisle asked, and I glanced to him nervously.

"He said.." I mumbled, "That because he was willing to take me in, there was something he asked of me in return." I avoided their gazes now, "And he kissed me. It scared me, because that's something that Jack's never done before. So, well.. I ran. I couldn't get away right away, but I tried." I paused, "I bit him."

They were quiet now, so I continued.

"I don't think I've ever run so fast."

"You're okay now, sweetheart." Esme finally said, "No one's ever going to hurt you again." I didn't miss the way she looked to Carlisle, or the subtle hint of danger in her gentle tone. It was faint, very faint, but I knew Carlisle hadheard it too. Given the way he returned her gaze.

I knew I had a long road ahead of me, but for right then, I was even too tired to be hungry anymore. Esme understood, letting me know that what she'd gotten me to eat would be there when I woke up.

It was as if the warm water had stolen every bit of energy I had, and I could barely make it to the bed. Crawling back under the blankets, my eyes already closing. Barely opening enough to look to Esme as she brought the blanket further over me. Sitting beside me on the side of the bed.

"Get some sleep, honey." She murmured, and I yawned, "We'll be here when you wake up." I nodded, letting my eyes close. I felt safe right where I was. Something about having the blanket so snug around me, and having Esme sitting so close.

I was almost immediately out cold. There was no pausing to think before falling asleep. There were no nervous fidgets, or trying to get comfortable. My eyes closed, and that was it. My overwhelming day only ensuring I didn't waste any time falling asleep.

I must have rolled over in my sleep, because when I opened my eyes, it was dark in the room, and I was facing the opposite way, on my other side. When I'd fallen asleep, the room had still had a light on, so this change was disorienting.

I still hated the dark. I doubted that would ever change. It felt too suffocating, and there was always some sense of paralyzing anticipation there. Like at any second, something would grab me. I struggled to see in the dark, my panicked breathing quiet, but painful as it was choked off.

I sat up, a strong tremble chilling me as my heart skipped a beat. I absolutely hated the dark. Especially the pitch dark. It reminded me too much of home, and that just wouldn't do. I was afraid, but too afraid to move.

Only one almost silent sob had a chance to leave me.

"Leandra?" Esme's voice was quiet, coming from the bed beside mine. It was quiet, but it startled me. For just a second, I wondered how she knew I was awake, as I sat there silently, hardly even rustling the blanket.

That no longer mattered seconds later, and just like before, being startled made me cry. Large tears started from my eyes, followed by many others. Sobs squeezing from me before I could stop them.

I heard her climb out of bed, and take the two steps it took to get to my bed, sitting on the side of the bed again. Hugging me to her side, I felt so stupid for crying, but I couldn't stop it. My cries only picked up, so when she pulled me onto her lap, I didn't mind it too much. I knew it was Esme, and I knew she just wanted to calm me down.

This way, she was able to literally hold me. Unlike before, she'd only hugged me. This time, I was seated sideways, her arms around my shoulders as my head rested on her shoulder. Holding me securely, but not tightly. A little like Mike had done before, but this was different. If I thought his embrace was comforting, this was a thousand times more so.

As comforting as her embrace was, that did almost nothing to ease the fear. I trembled roughly in her arms. Reduced to a tiny trembling ball of tears, just because the light was gone. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't stop it.

"I'm sorry." I cried quietly, and I felt her shake her head.

"No. It's alright, honey." She assured me, "You're okay."

I kept my cries as quiet as I could, struggling to keep from choking on them too loudly. As stupid as it was, I had expected Esme and Carlisle to be awake when I woke up. Even despite the late hour. Esme didn't sound tired, though, which comforted me.

Eventually, with her arms around me, I calmed. Nobody had ever done this for me before. Just held me. Letting me lean against her, she kept telling me that I was fine, and I knew I was. To believe someone like that was enough to comfort me. Not to mention how calming her voice was.

It was still dark in the room, and I quickly began to realize how tired I still was.

I focused my eyes on the small dim light from the smoke detector on the wall. Blinking tiredly, unable to keep from yawning as my breathing evened out. Left over emotion shook my exhausted yawn.

This was a new thing, letting her hold me, but it was something I didn't want to let go of. Not to lay back down anyway, so I closed my eyes right there in her arms. Just to rest them, but I couldn't help falling asleep right there.

I startled awake at the sound of the door closing, and I was alone. I was laying back down, back under the soft blanket.

I wasted no time, looking around in the very dim light provided by the approaching dawn outside the window. It wasn't quite light in the room, but it was brighter than it had been before. That didn't ease me this time, though.

Just the sound of the door could set me into panic, and I scrambled out of bed, running around the next bed over before jumping onto it. Taking the free five inches or so between where Carlisle laid and the edge of the bed.

I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering. I knew I'd woken him up, but I couldn't help it. I heard the sound of the door, and I was instantly so sure that Jack had found me.

I curled into a tiny ball, my knees literally under my chin as I laid on my side. I whimpered again, hoping Carlisle wouldn't be mad at me. I didn't know why it was instinct already to run to him, but given the way he only sat up behind where I laid, I knew he wasn't mad.

"Leandra?" He asked, "What is it?" I couldn't answer him yet. Waiting for the moment Jack would drag me off the bed and start beating me for running away.

Carlisle sighed, probably understanding now.

"You're alright, Leandra." He told me, and I flinched slightly at the comforting way he stroked my hair. Just once, before he sat up completely.

He waited with me, watching as I slowly began to believe that I was alright. My tight ball loosened ever-so-slightly as he watched, until the door opened again, and I was right back to the tense, trembling and defensive ball of me that I was before.

"She's okay." Carlisle assured who I assumed was Esme, "She came over as you first left."

"Oh honey." Esme's voice beside me had me look to her, "I'm sorry I wasn't quieter." I couldn't reply yet. Her eyes softened as I met her gaze, so I knew she wasn't mad either. She looked up, probably to Carlisle, "Alice called. She thinks we should stay a few more hours. To give Leandra a chance to adjust to us and rest a little more before putting her through the long drive back."

"I agree." Carlisle replied, "I was considering the same thing." Hearing Alice's name helped. I knew her, so I felt better.

I closed my eyes again, listening to them talk quietly.

I'd always noticed the little things. Probably because I was a little thing myself, but I noticed things most people didn't. Recalling last night, and just now, I noticed something that I hardly gave any thought to, but was puzzling just the same.

Last night, when Esme had woken up, when she spoke her voice held no hint that she'd been asleep. I remembered observing that. Now, Carlisle's was the same way. Normally, when Jack or my mom would first wake up, their voice would be heavier. This wasn't the same.

I shrugged off that mystery, however. Maybe because of me, they didn't get the best sleep the night before.

"I'm sorry." I started to cry. This time, feeling bad for what I'd done.

"No, honey." Esme murmured beside the bed, "No. You're alright." I uncurled only long enough to hug her. She comforted me easily by returning the embrace, sighing sadly.

The rest of the morning progressed. Slowly, I became less tense, and was able to finally eat something.

It wasn't until the evening that they chose to leave at all, and I had to admit, I was glad they did. Esme and I got to talking, and I found I liked it just as much as I had before. I must have expected it to be temporary or something, but she still didn't treat me like something stupid. And after admitting all I had the night before, that was a very big thing to me.

I had to take a shower before we left, and I was hesitant until Esme told me that I could still use the hot water.

I was given a new set of clothes, and though I had just gotten new clothes with Jack, I liked these even more.

This time, she let me adjust the temperature of the water myself. Probably to get used to it. Considering it was only my second time using it. Probably since I was a baby.

When I got out, I had towel dried my hair the best I could get it, but it was still damp. My new clothes fit just perfectly, and it felt so strange to have these near strangers taking such great care of me when I'd never had that before.

"From here," Esme told me, "We're just taking you home where you'll spend the night. Then we'll call Charlie." I let her take my hand, despite how nervous I was, "We'll stop at a hotel a little later, because I know how uncomfortable travelling straight home would be for you."

I was asleep by the time we did stop sometime around early morning. Half asleep as I was lifted from the backseat. I shifted a little, only moving enough to get comfortable and wrap my arms around Esme's neck. I didn't even have to open my eyes to know it was her.

The temperature change going from outside to inside the hotel was enough to wake me up a little more.

"Isn't she cute?" I heard the desk clerk ask quietly. Probably to make small talk as Carlisle paid for a room.

Before I could stop it, I sighed. Frowned, and sat up.

"Ow." I whimpered. The way I had been held was starting to hurt. That was probably not a usual reaction from sleeping kids that walked through here, so the clerk's concern was justified. I didn't want him to be concerned about me. Not with Carlisle and Esme with me.

I looked up at him as Esme gently let me on my feet, "I was asleep too long in the backseat." I smiled a little, "Sore now."

Instantly, his concern was squashed, and he smiled back at me. It fading once he took in the healing darkening of my eye, and the concern was back. I didn't have a chance to cover it up like I normally did.

"What happened there, sweetheart?" By now, I gathered he was suspicious of Carlisle and Esme, so I just shrugged a little.

"Baseball." I laughed as if nothing in the world was wrong, "Josh threw it too fast for me to catch."

"Josh your brother?" The clerk asked, and I shook my head.

"Cousin." I corrected, "He didn't even want to let me play. I guess that's why they say girls aren't very good at sports, huh? He felt so bad." The clerk chuckled, shaking his head. As if scolding himself for ever doubting.

"Here you go, Mr. Cullen." The clerk went about his business. I looked up at Esme, taking her hand in mine. I hoped she didn't mind. I was a very convincing liar when I needed to be, and taking Esme's hand told the clerk I trusted them. I had to show as well as tell. That was the key.

"Put some ice on that." The clerk suggested to me before we walked away.

"Believe me, I have been." I smiled, "Thanks."

That smile instantly faded the moment the elevator doors closed, and I started to cry.

"I hate lying to people." I explained at Esme's worry. That, and I was tired. I was twice as emotional when I was tired.

This room didn't look much different than the old one, except I wouldn't be spending nearly as much time here as I had there. I just wanted to fall asleep. I hated travelling.

"Honey," Esme said as I fell onto the bed, "You've still got to eat something."

"Have you guys eaten?" I asked, looking over at her. She smiled comfortingly at me.

"It's not us we're worried about."

"I'm more tired than hungry." I admitted quietly. Letting my eyes close.

"Alright, sweety." She murmured, "Get some rest." I didn't even move enough to put my head on the pillows. I laid sideways across the bed, already so close to falling asleep. Tears drying on my cheeks, I sighed. I woke slightly to being moved. Laid rightways on the bed, and my shoes were removed. With a gentle smooth of my hair, Esme let me rest. I rolled over onto my side, but that was it.

I squinted my eyes open a little later, noticing that the bright daylight outside was closed off behind the thick curtains, and Esme stood talking with Carlisle. His arms around her, comforting her.

"We need to figure this out, because I don't know what else she can go through." Esme was upset. I had upset her. She'd never said anything, or even looked like she was upset. I felt bad, "How can anyone treat a child that way?"

"I know." Carlisle sighed in response, "She'll be okay now."

"Is Jack going to be home when we get there?" I asked quietly, watching as they turned to look at me. I laid there in bed, the light in the corner on, just so it wasn't so dark. I appreciated that. Very much.

"No, honey." Esme assured me, "Not our house." She moved forward, sitting gently on the side of the bed. I stayed curled, looking up at her.

"Oh, I'm not going home?" I asked, surprised, "I'll be going to your house?"

"Well, there'll be nobody to watch you at your house." She replied quietly, "Your mother isn't there."

"Fuck her." I grumbled bitterly, surprising Esme.

"Honey." She scolded lightly, "You shouldn't use that kind of language."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I don't mean to. I just hate her."

"Why?"

"Because she left." I replied, "She just left me there. Jack was right. She never wanted me." I sighed, looking to my hand curled in the blanket under my chin, "How come nobody wants me?"

"That's not true." She murmured.

"I've never been so bad. I'm not really a bad kid. I mean, I don't run around burning things down, and I've never hurt anyone. Not seriously. Ken will be okay." I paused, "My dad didn't want me. My mom didn't want me. Jack only wanted me around so he could hit me. I guess that's better than him not wanting me at all, right? It has to be."

"Oh, honey." She sighed, "Sometimes life is complicated." She obviously didn't know what to say. I couldn't blame her.

"But why does it have to be complicated for me?" I asked, "I never did anything wrong. Jack blames me for everything, but I know at least some of that has to be made up. Sometimes, though, I'm not too sure."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I had to have done something to deserve what life I got." I explained, "I've asked Jack what I did so wrong to make him hate me so much. All he says is it's because I was born. He says that I was made unwanted, born unwanted, and I'm going to die unwanted. He tells me that all the time." I hadn't realized how sad my tone was, until I could see it in her eyes. I pursed my lips a little, deciding to try to fix it.

"I guess some people just get the short end of the stick sometimes." I sighed and rolled over onto my back. Looking up at her where she sat. Closing my eyes briefly, before looking back up at her, "As shitty as my life is, I am glad for one thing. Something I would never trade for the best life in the world."

"What is that, sweetie?" She asked.

"Dreaming about you guys." I replied, "If I hadn't of dreamed about you guys, then Jack probably would have.." I trailed off, "I don't know. Sold me to someone or something. If he didn't think to give me to Ken, he'd have gotten rid of me some other way, and I wouldn't have had anyone to call."

"He wouldn't." She murmured, stroking my hair. I looked up at her, still not used to the comforting gesture.

"You don't know him very well." I mumbled, "He was going to give me to Ken. He didn't want me around anymore, and the only place I could go, was to his dad." She glanced across the room to Carlisle, his eyes on us, "I don't want to go to someone who'll do that. There are lots of weirdos out there, you know. I just got stuck with one of them."

She gave me a soft smile, "You don't need to worry about that tonight, honey."

"I know." I murmured, yawning as my eyes closed, "I'm scared, though. If I have to go somewhere, I'd rather just stay with Jack. Or Ken, or whoever gets to keep me. At least there, I know what to expect."

She was quiet, and I jumped lightly at the sound of the heater turning on. I jumped at every unexpected sound. Opening my eyes, I looked back up at Esme's sad gaze. This time, however, I didn't cry. I must have been calming down.

"Something's different." I mumbled, and she seemed confused, "I don't know how to explain it, except that something's changed. It's not the same. I've felt it for awhile now." She was quiet, "Is that part of the gift Alice was telling me about? How I'm just not okay with something?"

"I can ask her for you." She offered and I nodded.

"I think I'm remembering." I admitted almost silently, "I think I'm starting to remember things. Things about the dream."

"Like what?" She continued to smooth my hair, which I appreciated. She had a way of doing it that made me feel a whole lot better.

"I trust you." I mumbled, "It means I knew you. In the dream, I mean. I knew you. I knew you'd be there. I knew Carlisle would come. It's just how I feel for now, and I know there should be a memory there, but it's hard to get to. I know you don't think I'm weird."

"Of course not." She replied, shaking her head.

"I'm not _used_ to that." I continued, "I'm not _used_ to trusting anyone I just met. Not like that. Not like anything. I hate everyone I just meet, but I can't with any of you. It's impossible. That has to mean something, right?"

She was quiet, knowing I still wanted to keep talking.

"I think I'm starting to remember." I sighed, repeating myself, "I remember you. I remember Carlisle, and everyone else, but I haven't seen who I remember the most."

"Who's that, honey?"

"The only one I think I remember actually seeing. I don't remember much about him except.." I paused, "No, you'll think I'm nuts."

"Not at all." She assured me, and I looked up at her, "Go on."

"His red eyes." I admitted. I waited the several silent seconds, and I watched as she glanced to Carlisle yet again. Probably to make sure he was listening, "I remember them. I think it's because of the feeling I get. I'm afraid, but for different reasons I think than I should be. I don't like him much, whoever it is."

"If you remember anything else about him, it might tell us who you're talking about." Esme told me quietly, and I sighed.

"I'll try." I murmured.

I fell back to sleep at that thought, knowing Esme would stay there. Something I never had was the confidence that someone would stay. Somehow, I just knew. I knew she wouldn't leave my side as I slept. Neither of them would.

When I woke next, I sat up instantly. At first, I thought I was alone by the way I didn't see anyone around me. Then, I found Carlisle sitting in the chair in the corner. Reading a rather large book.

I watched him for a moment, curious. He glanced up, noticing me watching him, and I looked back down.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and I frowned a little.

"No." I answered quietly, and he set his book to the side. I listened to him stand, and I knew he was coming over. Crossing the room to sit on the side of the bed, I hardly glanced at him, "Where's Esme?"

"She'll be back in a moment." He answered, "She only went to get you something to eat."

"I'm not too hungry." I mumbled, "It hurts too much." He was quiet, so I figured I'd explain, "Sometimes the healing part hurts just as much as getting the bruises. Just in a different way."

"How often would he hit you?" He asked, "Was it always that way?"

"Not always." I replied, "Just a lot. When I mess up, or piss him off. When I just annoy him, it's not as bad." I was far more cooperative now, and he was seeing that. He'd given me my space up until now, letting Esme be the one to interact with me. I could see how that helped.

"Carlisle, there's a lot you don't know." I admitted after a minute of silence, looking up shamefully.

"I'm starting to see that." He nodded a little, "But I'm willing to try to help you, if you're willing to try." I looked down, "You don't need to fear me, Leandra."

"I know." I replied, "I'm just.. Really confused."

"And that's understandable, given how much you've been through lately." He explained, "We'll get you through this."

"Why did you come?" I had to ask, "I'm nobody."

He sighed, "I won't lie. I don't pretend to understand much about this situation, between Alice and yourself, but I also won't attempt to stand against it. I trust Alice's judgement, and when she tells me someone is in need, I take her word for it."

I stayed quiet now, studying his expression, "And I also meant what I told you before. You reached out, Leandra. I do understand how much courage that has to take for someone in your situation, even if you're convinced it was only out of fear. I can assure you, that took amazing amounts of courage, and I wanted to show you that even though you've been shown differently before, there are still reasons to hope."

We both glanced over as Esme returned, smiling a little as she closed the door behind herself.

"And I for one, strongly believe that you deserve all the kindness we can give, because it's been withheld from you for so very long." Carlisle continued, "We'll figure this out, Leandra. For now, all you have to focus on is getting some rest." I nodded, looking down, "We'll make it home tomorrow, and from there, it's one step at a time."

I felt much better after talking to Carlisle a little more. I was glad it hadn't turned out like Ken. The way I had been expecting myself to like Ken better after I talked to him, only to be proven so wrong. This was different. I already knew Carlisle was okay, and talking with him only helped me see that a little more.

We made it to their house the next evening. Carlisle had started us off very early, and drove straight home now. We didn't stop this time, but I was allowed to sleep in the backseat. The warmth was just enough to help me sleep, and the motion of the car allowed me to sleep, but not sleep deep enough to dream, so that was a plus.

With the tint on the windows as dark as it was, the sunlight didn't bother me. Until the sunlight faded behind clouds, and as evening approached, faded completely. Before I knew it, I'd snoozed the entire trip away.

However, I was moody. Uncomfortable from sitting for so long, and emotional. Scared, but knowing I couldn't go back now if I wanted to. I was uncertain, but not about trusting Carlisle. He knew what he was doing, even if I didn't.

I stepped into the house easily this time, no hesitation anywhere in me. I let myself be led into the living room to find the others. I wasn't as shy this time, even if I clearly knew I had to look like crap from the long drive. Nobody seemed mad that I had to have Carlisle come save me. They seemed just fine with me being there.

Alice stood and moved forward, hugging me.

"Hey again, shorty." Emmett was the first to say anything to greet me, and I took a shaky breath. I appreciated that, as it gave me more of a sense of how he was feeling.

"Hi." I mumbled in response. The least I could do was talk to him.

"Tough morning?" He had to ask. I couldn't help the renewing tears welling in my eyes as I nodded. I took a breath, wishing I could just stop crying. Instead of proving to them how much of a baby I was. I couldn't help it though. I was still in so much pain, and that, on top of being so scared just broke my heart.

Since I couldn't stop it, I stopped trying. Hugging onto Alice tighter, I squeezed my eyes shut as tears escaped. She accepted the hug easily, sighing.

"I know." She told me, "You're alright now."

"I didn't want to call." I mumbled into the sleeve of her jacket, "I couldn't help it. I didn't want to live there."

"He was going to leave her with his father." Carlisle explained, "That's why he took her so far away."

"Just leave her there?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"I don't like him." I whimpered, trembling at just the thought of him, "He's worse."

"Why?" Rosalie asked this time, "Why would he just leave her there?"

"Because I was noticed." I answered, turning to look at her, and she looked down to me, "He said I would stay there for however long it took for people to forget who I was."

I let go of Alice, stepping back.

"What's going to happen?" I had to ask quietly, looking up at her.

"Tonight, you'll stay here." Carlisle answered, and I looked back at him, "Tomorrow, I'll give Charlie a call. The police chief here. He'll come by and he'll ask you some things, and find a family to take you in."

"I won't go." I mumbled, "I would rather go back to Jack."

"Leandra." Alice sighed, and I looked down. I knew. 'Don't start that again' and all that.

"Sorry." I replied, sighing shakily.

"Why?" Jasper's voice had me look to him, "Why wouldn't she do all she could to get away from him?" He was directing that question to Alice, probably, but he was looking at me.

"She says something is different." Alice answered, "And that scares her." So Esme had talked to her. I hadn't been sure there for a moment, but given the fact that she knew, it told me she had. It was quiet for a moment as Jasper's eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, "Something like this must have happened in the dream she had, and it's different now."

"And she still can't remember what it is that has changed?" Jasper asked, and Alice shook her head.

"Well, let's think about it for a second." Jasper continued, "She knows us. She trusts us, without even really knowing why. Even despite the way that she doesn't trust her own trust." He paused, "Perhaps in this dream, we were the ones she went to?"

"That's highly unlikely." Carlisle murmured, and I looked to him.

"Maybe not." I mumbled, unshed tears in my eyes, "I remember. I don't remember anything about it, but I remember how I felt in it. I was scared, but I felt okay with it. Like I knew I was okay." I sighed, shaking my head, "It's hard to describe, but I _know_ it."

"Are you sure?" Alice asked, and I nodded.

"I'm positive, because there's no other feeling in the world like it." I answered quietly, "A-And it made me sad, because I felt like.. When I woke up, I just felt like I lost so much. There's no other feeling in the world like that, either." I paused, "A-And.. Well.. What he says doesn't seem so unlikely. Not when I know I dreamed about you, and that feeling. I was okay when I was sleeping, but when I woke up, I wasn't okay anymore."

"What else can you remember about it?" Jasper asked me quietly, and I looked to him.

"Not much else." I admitted quietly, taking a calming breath, "It's still there, though. Just waiting, I think, for me to get back to sleep like I was sleeping that night, but that's going to be hard to do."

"Why?" He asked almost hesitantly.

"Because I was really hurt that night, and I don't even remember sleeping." I replied, "I remember.. The night before that, and I remember laying there on the floor. I remember waking up, but almost nothing in between, but I know I dreamed."

"Carlisle," Alice spoke up again, "A word?" I sighed, watching her turn. Leading Carlisle into another room.

"I don't mean to bother anyone." I murmured almost silently, "I should have just stayed home that day."

"You're not a bother to anyone." Jasper replied, "Not at all."

"Like making Carlisle drive two states away just to pick me up wasn't a bother." I mumbled doubtfully, "I _had_ to, though. I'm sorry."

"Esme has been keeping us updated." Jasper told me, "And I believe you. I wonder if Jack knows that what he attempted to do was illegal."

I looked up at him, frowning.

"Everything about what Jack does is illegal." I reminded him, sitting back down. Emmett found that funny, for some unknown reason.

"She's got you there, Jasper." Emmett pointed out, and chuckled.

"No, what I'm saying is giving you to someone else in an attempt to hide you was illegal." Jasper clarified.

I looked down, "He was _so_ mad when I ran. I've _never_ done that before. I've never run from him, and I've never told him no."

It was quiet for a moment, so I spoke up.

"I don't know what to do." I admitted, feeling vulnerable, "I know you, but I don't. I trust you, but I don't. I'm just confused, and I don't know how to fix it." I let out a pair of sobs, looking down as he studied me.

"Leandra, do you think you still would have called us had he not tried to make you stay?" Jasper asked, and I thought about it.

"I wanted to stay with him." I mumbled, "I don't know why, but I really didn't want to be left there with Ken. I-I mean, I know why now, but I didn't then. So.." I sighed, "No, probably not."

He was quiet for a moment, glancing to Emmett and Rosalie beside him before looking back to me, "Leandra, can I be honest with you?" I nodded, looking back up, "Where do you think you would be in.. A year? Two? If you had not called, what do you think your life would turn out like?" I averted my eyes, biting my lip.

I knew exactly what he was asking, and I had the answer to that, but I really didn't want to explain that just yet.

"With the ability you have, I know you're learning how to use it." He pointed out, "Your gift, your ability is all about the future and the way it can always change. What you choose to do now can, and will affect what happens tomorrow, but you know that. There are so many ways things can change, and what you're experiencing now is due to the decision you made three days ago."

I looked back up, interested in the way he was explaining this.

"Just the same way as the others you know are experiencing what they are, or will, because of a decision _they_ made. It's all subjective in the way it turns out. You have the ability to know what steps will lead you here," He gestured to the left, "Or here." Now the right, "And who will be beside you here or there. Do you understand?" I nodded, "It's not up to you to control the decisions of others. That's their business, but you _can_ control your own. You're starting to see that."

Okay, I liked him. I felt a lot better, and I sighed. Nodding. Letting him know he was right. I looked up at Esme beside me, and she smiled down at me.

"We can't give her away." Jasper finally said, looking to Esme, "Not with a gift like hers, and definitely not if she could potentially remember crucial information."

"What?" I asked, sniffling, "Like, stay here? I couldn't do that. I couldn't bother anyone that way."

"Jasper is right." Carlisle's voice surprised me. I looked back at Carlisle and Alice returning, "We have to keep her here."

I sniffled again, surprised at how easy it was to be comforted by that statement. I suddenly felt better, and it showed. Hearing him say it didn't make me as uneasy, as if what he said was law.

"Do you feel better?" Alice asked me, and I sighed. Unable to lie, I nodded.

"Her gift is decision based." Alice turned, looking toward the others, "Originally, Carlisle had been planning on letting the state take her, and that's when she resisted. That was unacceptable to her, because more than likely, in her vision, she stayed here. Like you said, Jazz."

"I wish I could remember." I mumbled, sighing.

"It could just be hard for you because you're so young." Alice offered, and I pursed my lips.

"And what about Jack?" I asked again, looking up at Carlisle, "Is he going to get into trouble if I talk to Charlie?"

"Definitely." Jasper answered, and I glanced to him, "Leandra, he deserves to."

"I know he does." I replied, "But I'm afraid. Nobody knows what he can do, and nobody is listening to me. He's good at getting away with what he does."

"All you have to do," Alice spoke next, "Is be honest. Tell him everything."

"Everything?" I asked quietly, looking up at her, "Nobody wants to hear that."

"The more you can tell him, the better. I promise." She replied, "Let him take it from there."

I gave a hesitant sort of whine, looking down.

"I don't even like thinking about everything." I replied, "Why would he want to know it?"

"Trust me." She said, "He'll want to know."

"The more he knows, the less likely it is he gets away with it, Leandra." Jasper explained further, and I sighed. I definitely felt the last few days.

"He'll get away with it anyway." I mumbled, "Because you don't know him like I do. Or his dad."

"You said his dad was worse." Alice prompted, "How?"

My alright mood instantly dropped, and I bit my lip. Fear stealing my breath for a minute until I sighed. Looking up at Esme, she gently smoothed my hair. I quickly started to realize that I was getting used to that. Esme wasn't going to answer for me. This was definitely good practice for tomorrow, I thought. I might as well get used to telling everything.

"He scares me more than Jack does." I finally answered, nervously watching my fingers resting on my knees, "I couldn't stay there, because I really didn't want to find out what else he would do." I hesitated, "I mean, if kissing me scared me that bad, what else would he do to scare me?"

Nobody said anything.

"That's part of the reason why I ran." I admitted, shrugging a little.

"I don't blame you one bit, shorty." Emmett replied, and I glanced to him.

"I'm not that short." I huffed, looking down. Though the name he gave me wasn't all that bad, and I didn't _really_ mind it, I thought I'd point that out. It was definitely better than some of the things Jack called me.

Emmett seemed to find that amusing.

"Until you're taller than me, shorty, you're short." He chuckled, and I knew he wasn't trying to be mean. That helped. It lightened my mood significantly, and I couldn't help smiling a little. Rosalie beside him turned, heading for the stairs.

"Excuse me." Carlisle followed her, and I glanced over, watching as he left the room.

"I don't think I'll ever be taller than you." I admitted shyly, and he grinned.

"I know." He said, "And what does that tell you?"

"That you'll always call me shorty?" I asked, unsure.

"If you insist." He replied, and I smiled a little more, shaking my head. I yawned, looking down.

"That's my cue." Esme laughed quietly behind me, "I'll make you something quick to eat, honey." She seemed only too thrilled to keep offering things. I didn't have the heart to tell her I really wasn't hungry. She'd done so much for me, the least I could do was eat whatever she made.

"So." I jumped a little as Emmett flopped down beside me, staring over at him with widened eyes, "How was California? Other than the creepy old bastard."

I had to actually bite back the laugh that threatened to leave. Emmett was making it increasingly difficult to stay afraid of him.

"Emmett." Alice wasn't very happy. Probably unhappy with his choice of words, or the fact that he brought Ken up at all, but I didn't care. He made it seem silly to stay afraid of him. I glanced up, watching as Alice crossed the room to stand beside Jasper.

"What?" He asked innocently, "Okay, okay. Other than the creepy old guy." He fixed his previous words, and the look he gave her was enough.

This time, I did laugh. Just a little bit, but it was a laugh. He grinned at me, and I couldn't help smiling in return. I wouldn't trust being alone with him, especially given how much bigger he was than me, but I was starting to not mind him so much.

"It was fine." I answered quietly, "Other than that, I mean."

"Do tell." Emmett seemed intently fascinated, and for a second, I was thrown off. This was something nobody had asked about yet. Always curious about what happened, instead of what else happened.

"I liked Heather." I replied, and he nodded.

"And she is..?"

"Oh." I said, "Heather is Jack's sister."

"The plot thickens." He commented, still listening.

"I didn't think she liked me at first." I admitted, "But I guess she was okay. I mean, it _was_ her fault Jack met my mom, but I don't think that's actually her fault."

At Emmett's prompting, I was able to tell him about Heather and Mike, and their boys. Effectively distracting myself from everything that had gone wrong. That was much easier to talk about, and I found I was a lot less tense while talking about them than I had been since Carlisle had come to get me.

"So." Emmett said, "She said she would stand between you two, but was gone that day?"

"Yeah." I said, "I mean, I get it. I'd actually forgotten that she said that until just now, but I don't blame her for having to go along with Jack. Jack gets what he wants. That's what he does. It's impossible to tell him no on something he really wants."

"I'll tell him no with a fist to his face." Emmett grinned and immediately, I shook my head.

"That would probably just piss him off." I looked down, "But anyway, they weren't gone very long."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, they got back right as I was running away. Like she forgot something, or something."

"She was probably coming back to check on you." Jasper offered, and I thought about it. Maybe.

"She was so mad at Ken." I added, "I wasn't paying much attention to that part, though. Jack was telling me to get back inside, but.." I sighed, "It was like.. I couldn't. I normally listen to him. I never just.. Not do whatever he tells me. I learned a long time ago never to piss him off like that. He gets really creative, I guess, when he's angry."

"Creative?" Emmett prompted.

"Well, like.." I thought for an example, "Like when he told me to make you guys forget about me. He told me that if anyone kept noticing me, he'd put me back in the box."

"What box?" Jasper asked this time.

"Alice saw it." I said, "That shed looking thing in the back yard? Where I got the shovel from?" She sighed, nodding, and I looked back to Jasper, "It's this little shed thing in the back yard. It's really small, but smaller on the inside. I was in there for three days once when I was seven. I really didn't want to go back in there, but I didn't want to make you all forget about me either."

"That's why you insisted that day." Jasper murmured, understanding now. Silently, I nodded, "Edward mentioned you had good reason, but he never mentioned what that reason was."

"How would Edward know?" I found myself asking, frowning. Alice patted his arm around her, and they looked to each other for a few seconds.

"Excuse us for a moment." Jasper murmured, heading for the kitchen. Alice followed, and I watched as they left.

"Okay." I agreed quietly, confused. I noticed that it was just Emmett and I sitting there now. How was it possible that even with all the people living here, a room could be empty?

"Umm.." I mumbled now, looking toward the kitchen. I wanted to go find Esme, but I didn't want to be rude, and follow Jasper when he wanted to talk to Alice.

"You're nervous." Emmett pointed out from where he sat.

"A little." I replied, still watching toward the kitchen.

"You'd have a better chance of being mauled by a bear than of me bothering you." He said, and I looked to him, "Trust me. I might pick on you a little bit, but I'm harmless, shorty." It confused me how he used that example. I really did pick up on the little things.

"A bear?" I asked, and he smiled.

"Yup." He said, "A bear. A big ol' mean bear."

"How do I know you're not the bear?" I asked, and he was quiet for a moment, studying me a bit with a surprised expression. Suddenly smiling wider, he chuckled, shaking his head.

"This is fun." I was a little lost at how funny that seemed to him. It was a simple question. Why would that entertain him so much?

Thankfully, Esme called for me a few moments later, and I jumped up. Emmett stayed behind, continuing to laugh to himself.

"I think I broke Emmett." I muttered worriedly as I stepped into the kitchen with Esme. Eying the plate she placed on the counter.

"He's always been broken." Alice laughed a little. Jasper seemed fine now, which was relieving.

"Are you guys going to eat too?" I asked, hoping they'd at least keep me company.

"We had a big lunch." Alice answered, "You go ahead."

"I'll go fix Emmett." Jasper offered, stepping away from Alice, and heading back toward the living room. I frowned a little, sighing. Looking up at Esme, she smiled at me.

"What about you?" I asked, "You haven't eaten all day. Aren't you hungry?" She laughed a little.

"Oh, honey." She sighed, setting the plate in front of me as I took a seat at the counter. I liked sitting here.

"What?" I asked. Why did everyone think the things I asked were funny? I sighed, but didn't press it.

I yawned several times while sitting there. Despite having snoozed in the car all the way back here, I was more tired than anything.

"Once you're finished," Esme said, "I'll show you your room." I would have a room? That was difficult to understand.

Alice followed us from the kitchen, and up the hall, and I couldn't help noticing the way she watched me.

I wanted so badly to understand. I wanted to remember, but I really couldn't. The answer further from my mind as I stood there in the doorway, looking over all I saw in the room that was meant to be mine.

It was unmistakable. I'd been here. I knew this room.

"Is this the right room?" Alice asked, watching my expression. I nodded slowly and she smiled.

"I thought so." She replied, looking to Esme, "This was hers. It had to be."

"I wish I could remember." I whimpered, "This is so strange."

"I know." Alice murmured, "You'll get it."

I sighed, frowning a little as I looked around _my_ room. I knew she was right, that I would get it. I just didn't know when.

**A/N: And there you have it, kids. The homecoming.  
Uhm. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays my friends. (: I figured this is the only gift I can give. Even if it is a little choppy.  
I hope you enjoyed this little bit of informative chapter bits. I know I did, and it's almost a relief to have caught up to where I originally typed to. From here on out, you can look forward to it picking up like the others have. During Twilight, where it needs to be.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed the last chapter! Eeee I love you all! :D  
And as for any reviews I receive for this particular chapter, I shall see them as gifts from those kind enough to type down their thoughts. ;D  
Anyhoo. Yes, this is long. But I didn't have the heart to shorten it.  
Until Ten, my friends. (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

They allowed me a moment to look around the bedroom. A soft night light stood on the long dresser against the far wall, and I smiled a little at it. Curiously, I pulled open the door beside me. It was a closet, given all the clothes hanging on the bar inside.

"Those are yours." Esme told me, and I couldn't help being surprised.

"All of it?" I asked, looking up at the clothing. At least seven or eight pairs of shoes sat in a neat line on the floor of the closet. Three pairs of tennis shoes, others different.

"Sure is, honey." She smiled a little, "There's more in the dresser."

"There's _more_?" I couldn't stop asking questions, or hide my shock, "I've never had this many clothes."

"I heard." She replied sadly, watching me as I slowly pulled open one of the eight drawers to find it full of jeans. Different color denim, all without a hint of a hole in them. I closed the drawer quietly, opening another. Peering in curiously. I couldn't tell what this drawer was, so looking harder, I pawed through the fabric. Pajamas.

Looking around the room again, the window on the far right wall was open a little, allowing a comforting breeze into the room, fluttering the curtain over the window. Not a single hole in any of the walls, or stain on the flawless carpet.

Even the bed was something out of a magazine.

Instead of the cold metal bars that made up my headboard at home, this one was a soft wood color. Four poster, but not overwhelming. Matching footboard, with a soft aqua blue colored sheet and comforter set.

Touching the soft bed with my hand was a feeling I hadn't anticipated. It wasn't like the hotel rooms, or laying in Jack's bed, but this was mine. Somehow that made it even more comfortable.

Sitting down, it was almost painful how comfortable this was.

I sat there for a good while after Esme and Alice left. Just trying to adjust. This was so weird to me. The light was off, but the night-light kept me from worrying. Probably a last minute addition, but I appreciated it all the same. It illuminated the room just enough. It was perfect.

I wished so much I could explain this, but there was no explanation. Each one I thought of didn't explain it. Maybe this room reminded me of my room at home? Not even close. This room was nothing like the one I lived in at home.

The furniture was nice, not falling apart. It all matched, and the bed was soft. And big. There were real curtains over the window, instead of a plain bed sheet. It looked and felt like a real bedroom, instead of just some place to suffer. That was the difference.

Maybe I'd just seen a room like this before? Nope. Never. It was more than recognizing the way it looked. It was _more_ than that. I _felt_ like I'd been here. With how familiar this house, and these people were, I had to think.

They _had_ to be the reason I woke up that morning hating the fact that I had. They had to be the reason I remembered this place, and the reason I felt so safe. There was no other explanation. It would take some getting used to, but I had to accept that.

I wasn't alone anymore.

I liked the idea that if I needed to, I could find everyone just up the hall, or upstairs during the night. It comforted me, knowing someone could be there when I needed them. Not passed out drunk, or only there to hurt me.

Jasper was right, though.

I didn't trust my own trust. If I learned to trust my own trust, it would be easier on me, I knew. I would try, because they deserved it. Maybe here, I would learn about my supposed gift. It'd proven itself, I guess, but it was hard to believe. I doubted that Alice would let me stay skeptical very much. With her having the same gift as I had.

There was _so_ many confusing things about this. Things I had to get used to, but it was more than that as well. There was more to these people than I knew, but I couldn't figure it out.

I fell asleep early that night. Even in a brand new bed, I didn't wake up once. Even if I knew I should. I definitely wasn't used to having all this room. My bed at home was a twin sized bed. Hardly any room, but somehow, two people managed to fit in it at a time.

I refused to think about that as I woke up. Laying in bed, I chose to wake up slowly.

I was nervous today, but I knew that had more to do with the visit from Charlie later. I really didn't want to do this. I was scared, and I just knew talking to him would be a big mistake, but they had to call him. I knew enough to know that not calling him was a big mistake. Kidnapping and all that stuff. How would I go about telling him that I wanted to be kidnapped?

Esme slowly opened the door, and I looked to her from where I still lay. She gave me a smile, and I looked back down.

"I can't." I mumbled, "I can't talk to Charlie."

"Yes you can, honey." She walked in, sitting beside me on the bed, "I know you can. Carlisle will be there with you."

"Is he here?" I asked quietly, and she nodded.

"The only one we're waiting on is you." She told me, and I bit my lip, "Sweetheart, he knows how hard this is on you."

She managed to get me out of bed, and walked me from the room.

I was afraid. Despite knowing how I didn't have to be, I was afraid of Charlie. The Police Chief that looked my way from the living room. I didn't know why I didn't have to be, but the moment I walked in, and he looked at me, I was at war with myself.

"I thought you said she was nine years old." He said, surprised as he looked to Carlisle. He was expecting a bigger kid, obviously.

"She is." Carlisle nodded, and Charlie looked back to me. I was momentarily distracted by a rather large yawn. Even with getting as much sleep as I had the night before, I was still tired. I really didn't want to do this. I hesitated as Esme tried to start forward.

Nobody was listening to me.

"You're alright, Leandra." Charlie told me, and that didn't help any. Despite that, however, I let Esme lead me closer. She led me to Carlisle's side, and as much as that comforted me, I couldn't keep holding her hand. She was obviously not allowed to stay. Probably to minimize distractions, but I wasn't sure. I was just convinced Charlie wanted to be cruel.

I sat quickly on the couch, curling into a ball.

Charlie sat in the chair adjacent to the couch, and immediately started on how they should have gone to him first. How they should have contacted the police there, instead of just bringing me back here.

"I didn't do anything wrong." Were my first words to him. I could only hold his gaze for a moment, "Neither did they." He sighed, lowering his brown eyes to the packet of paper in front of him.

"The law says-"

"Fuck the law." I interrupted him and he looked back up, shocked, "There are two kinds of people that break the law. The people who break the law to help someone else, and the people who break the law to hurt someone else. I would rather be with the first types of people, because I've seen what the second type of person can do to someone like me. So instead of getting mad at Carlisle for helping me, get mad at Jack for hurting me."

He was quiet for a second.

"I'm sorry." I finally said, "I didn't mean it."

"You're okay, Leandra." He assured me, "Just relax. I'm not here to get anyone in trouble that doesn't need to be." He was quiet, watching me as I watched my hands on my knees, "Can you tell me?" Carlisle slowly moved, sitting down in the other chair, the one closest to me.

"Is there any way to tell you, without getting him into trouble?" I asked after a moment.

"Why wouldn't you want to get him into trouble?" Charlie asked quietly.

"Because." I mumbled, but he waited, "Because I don't trust you to keep me alive." I glanced up, and could clearly see that he had no idea before just how bad it'd been. Nobody did. Carlisle didn't even fully know, so I knew whatever answer I gave Charlie would surprise Carlisle as well. Alice told me I had to tell Charlie everything. Everything was a _lot_.

"You don't need to worry about that." Charlie finally replied, "We'll find him, and we'll hold him for as long as we can."

"You mean you don't have him yet?" That was news to me.

"Well, no." He said, "We had to wait until today."

"You're not going to find him." My tone was matter-of-fact, and I knew it had every reason to be that way. I shook my head.

"Yes, we will-"

"No." I said, looking up, "You won't. He's had a head start, and he knows you'll be looking for him."

"How would he know?" Charlie asked, curious.

"I told him." I replied quietly, "I told him that if he tried to leave me there, I would tell everyone everything." I sighed, "I was trying to threaten him, but it didn't work. You can bet that he's long gone."

That didn't seem to phase him, but with the new crease in his brow, I knew that news concerned him.

"We'll just handle this today." He finally said, "Is that alright? It's just a few questions." Hesitantly, I nodded.

However, those just few questions were very, _very_ difficult to answer.

The next hour, we were getting nowhere. Quickly. I either stayed silent through his questions, or I skirted around them. I didn't know how to be honest with someone I didn't trust.

I looked up as Esme stepped into the room, clearly feeling how tired I was.

"How is she doing?" She asked, and Charlie sighed.

"Not very well." He replied, "We've gotten nowhere."

"Might I suggest something?" Carlisle asked, glancing to me. I closed my eyes, resting my forehead on my drawn up knees. I was so tired. I didn't want this stranger knowing everything.

"Leandra." I must have snoozed off, as I looked up tiredly at Carlisle's calm voice, "Can you talk to me?" I nodded, sitting up straighter with a wince, "Can you tell me everything?"

I closed my eyes for a yawn.

"I just want to know all you can tell me about him." Carlisle explained quietly, "Everything you can think of." I was quiet for a second, "Remember how much you told me before?" I nodded a little, "I need more than that. Let's just go over that again, okay? But give me specific details."

"My mom met Jack six years ago." I started, and he nodded, letting me know that's what he meant, "About. I don't remember exactly how long ago, but I know he's hit me since I've known him. Jack's always hated me. He'd always tell me that he had to. He'd always say how much I deserved it, because I just kept fucking up. After awhile, it was just easier to believe him than to keep wondering what I did."

"Go on." Carlisle urged when I went silent. He slowly sat up straighter, and I knew both he and Charlie were listening to my every word.

"They always say that grown-ups shouldn't hit kids." I mumbled, "So I knew that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. What they don't tell you, is how someone like me is supposed to stop it. Not when I'm so small, and not when there's nothing anyone can do."

I paused, knowing they wouldn't urge me again.

"I'm not stupid." I murmured, "I don't care how many times Jack's told me that I am. This isn't easy for me, and even though he says so, I'm not forgetting what he told me would happen if I told. I'm not supposed to be talking about it, and I know I shouldn't be saying anything."

"What did he tell you would happen, Leandra?" Charlie asked this time, and I glanced to him. No matter how much I wished, I couldn't pretend he wasn't here. He seemed particularly interested in that answer, so I sighed.

Here went nothing.

I took a breath, "He caught a rabbit one day. Out in the woods, when I was four. I remember it, because he let me pet it." I kept my eyes down, "He let me hold it, and I remember how soft its fur was, and I remember how scared it was. I couldn't blame it, because I always felt the same way when Jack caught me."

They waited, listening.

"He told me that to prove his point, because I was so stupid, the rabbit had to die. I told him no, that he didn't have to do that." I kept my eyes down, "I didn't want the rabbit to die because I was so stupid. He could show me another way."

They were both silent now, and I didn't dare look at either of them.

"So he killed it. Right in front of me. He made me keep holding it while he took a knife, and he stabbed it in the side of its neck."

Nobody said a word, listening to me as I paused.

"I _tried_ to tell him that he didn't need to do that, but he made me watch it. He made me watch it die. He made me hold it while it died, so I could see up close what happened." I took another breath, realizing my voice had gone quiet, "Saying how he'd do the same thing to me if I ever told anyone. How at any time, I could be that rabbit. Saying how I should thank him. Every second I kept breathing was another second I should be grateful."

I was quieter now. For a little longer.

"So." I sighed almost silently, "This isn't easy."

While sitting there, gathering my thoughts, I looked up at Carlisle. If I wasn't sure before, I suddenly was now. He would protect me. There was something about him that made him so much different than anyone else. Carlisle was different. I couldn't remember what exactly it was, but he was different.

He gave me a nod, and that was all I needed.

"He hits me." I finally spoke up again, "He beats me. Every day, for some reason he makes up. He'll tell me to do something, and when I get done doing it, he'll tell me he told me to do the opposite. He makes up reasons." I glanced over when he moved. He was writing on the third page of that packet of papers he held before.

"When you say he beats you..?" Charlie prompted quietly, looking back up. I stood up, and without missing a beat, lifted my shirt over my back. I stayed standing for a few minutes, letting him view my entire back. I let my shirt drop, and sat back down.

"It was worse before." I mumbled, "I'm always bruised. I almost never see my skin without something wrong with it. He uses stuff, like belts and stuff to hit me with because he found out he can do too much damage with his hands. I'm just too small."

I paused, glancing up to see Charlie's horrified gaze.

"What all does he use, Leandra?" Charlie asked quietly.

"Belts, ropes, boards." I shrugged a little, "Whatever he can find." I knew he needed more, so I sighed, thinking harder, "Rocks, and stuff like that, but he prefers his belt. I think because it makes a certain sound."

I was quiet for a second.

"Um.." I hesitated, "He yells, but that's not really bad, is it?" I looked to Charlie, "The things he yells at me, though, is easy to remember. Especially when he's really mad, because he _really_ means the things he yells at me."

He stayed quiet, and I watched him write that down as well.

"He doesn't feed me, unless it's to get me to behave, or to get me to do what he wants." I mumbled, "That's probably why I'm so small." I sniffled, hesitating, "He locks me in my room. Days at a time." I paused, my hands curled up in front of me, between my folded up knees and my stomach, "There's _so_ much he does."

"Just the major things, Leandra." Charlie urged, and I shut up for a moment, "That's all I'm looking for specifically right now."

"A-And, uh.." I could barely make my voice work. Charlie waited, and I knew he wouldn't rush me. I had to say it, "Uh.. He.."

This was harder than I thought it'd be. Every time I'd try to speak, to say a word, it'd get stuck, and I'd give up for a second. I'd give up, but then I'd remember that I couldn't give up, and I had to tell him.

The truth was, what Jack did to me at night was so much worse than beating me. It hurt me, and it hurt me in a different way than the beatings did. I didn't know how it was possible, but by doing what he did, he could hurt me both physically and emotionally. Both at once, and by managing to hurt me both of those ways at once, it hurt me mentally as well. Beating me was only physical, but this. This was so much worse.

By admitting what he did to me, I would be admitting how ashamed I was. By admitting what he did, I just knew Charlie would turn around and blame me. Or laugh.

The longer I stayed quiet, the more pressure I felt, and eventually, it was too hard. I started to cry. I couldn't do it. I couldn't admit to Charlie what else he did, because by doing that, I'd be admitting my own guilt for not stopping it. I'd be admitting how weak I was, how stupid I was. I couldn't do that.

"You have what you need, right?" I sobbed, looking over at Charlie, "That's it."

"Leandra, he needs to know everything." Carlisle told me, and I looked to him, biting my lip.

"I can't." I mumbled, shaking my head, "I can't say it."

"Take your time." Charlie assured me, and I looked to him again, "Nobody's rushing you, honey. If you need a break, take one. I've got all afternoon." I sniffled, nodding. I appreciated his patience. More than he knew. I took a breath, letting back out in a sob.

"Charlie, a moment?" Carlisle stood, and I watched after him as he led Charlie from the room. I sobbed there on the couch for just a few seconds. Looking around me. Nobody else was in the room, so I saw my opening.

I stood up with a deep sniffle, heading quickly for the side door. I slipped out, closing the door quietly behind myself. Jumping off the last two steps, I landed on the gravel and headed straight for the trees.

"Running away?" Jasper's call from the front of the house had me jump, stopping and spinning to look his direction. I waited, unsure how to respond. Would he be mad?

He sighed, stepping off the porch to head my direction.

I didn't say anything, waiting for him to tell me how much trouble I was in.

"You shouldn't run, Leandra." He told me once he reached my side, "I know how scared you are, but the longer you put this off, the harder it'll be on you." I took a shaky, emotional breath, "I know."

"No, you don't." I mumbled, looking down. To my surprise, he laughed. I looked back up, confused now. How was that funny?

"You keep underestimating us." He pointed out. He didn't argue with me, though. He sighed, looking around, "I suppose there's no point in trying to force you to tell him everything, but let me tell you this. The more you tell Charlie, the less chance you have of seeing Jack again."

"Or I could just run away." I added quietly, "I'll figure out how to live on my own."

"No, you won't." He replied calmly, "You don't want to do that."

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I asked, looking up at him, "I don't even get it myself. He'll blame me."

"The same way you told us." He answered, "The same way you told Carlisle. Charlie isn't here to blame you, Leandra. He's here to help you. Just the same way that we are." His voice was so calm, quiet in the way he told me these things. It was odd. As if his confidence was giving me a bit of confidence. That didn't ease my fear any, though.

"But I don't know that." I countered quietly, "I don't know him."

"You don't know us." He reminded me.

"I do." I corrected, "B-But.." I whined, turning to pace. I didn't know how to explain it.

"You're doubting yourself." He pointed out, "Don't."

"How can I not?" I asked, "I don't have all the trust in the world to just give to someone like him."

"Someone like him?" Jasper asked, frowning a little. I was afraid for a moment, remembering when I'd let that same phrase slip to Jack. For a moment, I feared I'd made him mad, but after a moment of only studying me, he didn't seem angry.

A tense, quiet moment passed as I glanced up at him. Until understanding came to his eyes, "You don't trust him because he's male."

I looked down, sliding my hands into my pockets to keep them warm. Shivering in both the cold morning and the intimidation I felt from Charlie inside. I didn't like him, but I knew he wasn't bad. That was a very confusing feeling. I didn't like Charlie because he wanted me to tell him things. Things I never told anyone, and it went against everything I'd ever learned to tell him now.

"I can see this will be a problem." Jasper finally said when I did nothing to deny it, "Leandra, not everyone is out to hurt you."

"I know that." I mumbled, glancing up, "I know you won't. I know Emmett won't. I know the others won't, but I don't know Charlie won't. I hate him."

"Think about it this way." He suggested, "Do you think Carlisle would let him hurt you?" He had a strong point there. He knew it.

"No." I finally replied, shaking my head, "He wouldn't." I bit my lip, "But I'm still afraid. He's going to blame me for what Jack did, and I don't want that. No matter how I think about it, it won't come out right. There's no right way to say it."

"All you have to do, is tell the truth." He replied, "Don't worry about whether or not Charlie is going to believe you, or blame you. It's not his job to blame you. All he's asking for is the truth. That's all." I glanced over at the porch, spotting Carlisle and Charlie standing there. Watching us just feet away. Both able to hear us talking. I whimpered, looking up at Jasper again.

"I can't." My tears stung my eyes once more, and I knew he saw it, given the way his expression softened ever-so-slightly.

"Why?" He asked patiently, "Why can't you? If you know he's not going to blame you, and if you know you won't be the one in trouble for this, why can't you just tell him everything?"

"Because it'll make it real." I answered shakily, "Whenever it happened, I did everything I could to pretend it was just a bad dream. I did everything I could to just forget everything he made me do. Telling Charlie would just ruin all that. It would ruin _everything_."

"What all did he do?" Jasper asked and I gasped a sob. No longer hesitant with him.

"E-Everything." I mumbled incredulously, "At night, he'd come in. I-It was like.. Like he didn't like seeing me, because it was always in the dark. Always when I couldn't see." I paused, but this time, only to take a breath, "He always made me do stuff to him, and just lay still for him. If I fought, he hit me until I stopped fighting, so I couldn't just not do it. I didn't want to, but.." I sniffled, looking down, "I had to."

"When did it first start?" Jasper asked, and I started to catch on. It was easier answering him than it would have been to answer Charlie, so I went along with it.

"Officially?" I sniffled, "About three years ago. That's when.. It happened first."

"You were six?" He asked, and I nodded.

There was a silence in the yard that squeezed me, made it harder to breathe. I vaguely saw Jasper glance to the porch, but I didn't look up. With the breeze, though, came a sort of comfort. It brought fresh air, rustling the trees across the yard. It made it easier to breathe, to calm down. I took a breath, sighing it out.

"Unofficially?" Jasper asked, quieter now.

"Since I met him." I mumbled in reply without missing a beat this time, "It used to be just him getting me use to it, I guess. I didn't know what that was, or what he was doing. It had never really hurt before, just bugged me. Until three years ago. Now it hurts all the time."

He was quiet now, and I didn't interrupt that. I took a breath, calming down even further. There was one thing I had to stress.

"I didn't want to." I mumbled, "I didn't mean to."

"Nobody is blaming you." Jasper assured me, "Nobody." I sniffled, and I nodded. I knew he wasn't lying to me, given the way Charlie looked at me. His gaze wasn't angry, or sickened. Not at me.

Charlie cleared his throat, and looked to Carlisle. Nodding as he turned to go back inside. Bringing his papers with him. I watched after them, reaching up and clearing my hair from my face. I hoped he wouldn't ask me to be any more specific than that. I hoped I wouldn't have to repeat anything I'd just said. Not ever.

I looked up at Jasper, noticing how he looked back down at me. His expression torn into sadness and anger. I wasn't scared, though. I found I trusted Jasper as much as I trusted Carlisle.

"Am I really going to stay here?" I asked quietly, and without a word, he nodded. I sighed, "That's hard to believe."

"Why is that?" He asked.

"Because." I shrugged, "That might bother you." He didn't reply at first.

"Why would it bother me?" He finally asked, curious.

"I don't know." I mumbled, "Just a feeling I get."

I glanced upwards, looking at the clouds as they started spitting rain. I sighed, looking back to the house.

"I don't want to go back in there."

"You're almost done with him." He assured me, "Charlie just has a few more questions, and he'll leave you alone. Then comes the next step."

"Will you come too?" I asked curiously, and he seemed to debate for a moment.

"Sure." He finally said, "Come on." I turned with him, heading back for the house.

"What comes next?" I had to ask, "After Charlie is done asking me things?"

"Your day isn't quite over with, Leandra." Jasper told me, opening the door for me. I waited for him to explain as I stepped inside passed him, "Next, comes the examination."

"What's that?" I had to ask, nervous again.

"That's where you're looked over." He answered, "To make sure you're okay, and to take evidence."

"I don't have any evidence." I replied instantly, "Can I just skip that part?"

"It won't hurt." He assured me, "It would make everyone feel a lot better, and certainly make your case against Jack much stronger. You want it stronger, don't you?"

"I guess so." I admitted, biting my lip.

"A stronger case is a good thing, Leandra." He told me, and I sighed.

"It won't hurt?" I asked quietly, and he shook his head. It was too easy to believe Jasper. Impossible not to.

"It won't." He replied confidently, and I nodded, sighing again.

"Leandra." Charlie called once he spotted me inside, "I just have a few more things to ask you." I slowly sat, my eyes on him, "Can you tell me anything about your father? Your mother?"

"My mom left, a few days ago." I answered quietly, bitterly, "I doubt she wants to come back."

"Do you know where she might be?" He asked, "Her name?"

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, "Do I have to answer you?" He seemed confused, "I don't want her to know I'm okay. I want her to suffer."

"Leandra." Carlisle murmured in quiet correction. I looked down.

"Why should she get the peace-of-mind to know I'm alright, when she left me in the first place?" I asked in return, "She could have taken me with her. I hope she thinks I'm dead."

"What about your father?" Charlie prompted, and I shook my head.

"He left me too." I replied, "He didn't want me either."

"Leandra-"

"Fuck him." I murmured bitterly, "I hate him."

I was being uncooperative. I was tired, and hurting, and thankfully, Charlie seemed to understand that. He sighed, nodding as he closed the folder in front of him. It wouldn't be that hard for him to figure it out on his own.

"Alright, Leandra." Charlie told me, "That's it, I suppose." I had a permanent pout on my face, and I hated everything at that moment. If Charlie tried making me live with either of those people, I'd just run away.

"I'll meet you at the hospital." Charlie sighed, standing, "I'd prefer taking in the evidence at once." Carlisle nodded, standing as well.

I laid to the side, tiredly rubbing my eyes and sighing. This was too hard.

"Leandra." Carlisle prompted after a moment, and I glanced up at him, "Come on." He gestured that I get up, but I didn't. Instead I just closed my eyes, turning my face into the couch.

My uncooperative mood tripled three fold, somehow knowing I really didn't want to go through this. Yet again, I started to cry. I was so tired. So scared, and still in so much pain. It was all I could do to keep my sobs silent, and just sniffle quietly.

"Leandra?" I looked over at Carlisle's voice now beside the couch, meeting his eyes as he now kneeled, "Can you listen for a moment?" His expression and tone was kind, not annoyed in the slightest like I worried. He was patient, which was new to me. I nodded silently.

"I understand how hard this is on you." He told me, "We all do. Nobody's forgetting that. All we're asking is to just be brave for just a little while longer. I know how scared you are. Believe me, I can see it. The last thing I'd ever want to do is make that worse. I promise you. There is nowhere safer for you than here, or with me. Can you do that? Be brave for only a little while longer?" That's right. He was a doctor, so he could be there with me. I'd forgotten about that part.

"I can try." I finally mumbled.

I got dressed, and I had to leave the house with Carlisle. I couldn't help feeling nervous, as part of me knew this wasn't going to be easy. I knew it was going to be hard on me, but I had to try to be brave. I told Carlisle I would, and going back on it now was wrong.

I let him take my hand, glancing up at him. We stepped into the hospital, and I almost resisted, hating the way I grew even more nervous. I had to tell myself what I knew. It'd be okay.

It only took just over an hour, but by the time that hour had passed, I was three times as tired. Blood was taken, and my bruises were accounted for. Every single one, and being honest from the start only got me one more exam I didn't particularly care for. The nurse did that one, though, but it didn't make it any easier.

Every time I looked at Carlisle, I tried so hard to remember why I trusted him so much. It was the oddest thing, and I couldn't help wonder whether or not my sanity could be trusted, but I couldn't help it. I needed the answer to that so much, I couldn't just let it go.

I sat there while Charlie and Carlisle had a few last minute words with each other.

"Your sure about this, Dr. Cullen?" Charlie asked, and I looked up, "Taking in a kid like her isn't going to be easy."

A kid like her? A kid like me? The way he said that bugged me.

"I'm quite positive." Carlisle replied, "I think we've got it handled." Charlie sighed.

"Well, alright. If you're sure." He said, "Just fill out that paperwork, and it should be accepted. I'll give them a heads up that you're applying for her, so there's no confusion."

"Thank you." Carlisle gave him a nod, "It's appreciated."

I stayed seated stiffly as Charlie sighed, turning to me.

"You're not going to find him." I murmured as he kneeled in front of me, "I'm telling you that right now."

"Don't you worry about that." He replied, "Let us focus on that, and you just focus on getting better."

"I'm not sick." I corrected with a frown, and he chuckled.

"I mean feeling better." He said, and I sighed. I still didn't get the difference, but I nodded. He gave me another smile and stood up. I watched after him as he walked away. Shaking his head a little.

I was taken home, and allowed to have some lunch, but I couldn't eat much. Still too upset to want to, but I was assured that was it. I could be left alone now. At least, about Jack.

There were more pressing issues now, and that was about what I remembered so far.

"I don't." I answered Alice, staring down at my plate of food, "I can't yet." I looked to her, "Why does it matter so much? I mean, I remember that you guys can be trusted, right? Isn't that enough?"

"We just want to be careful." She replied quietly, "I think you know more than you even realize." I was quiet for a moment, "Tell me again. What all do you remember?"

"I woke up." I told her, "And I _know_ there was so much more to it, but all I could remember, was the way I felt, and.." I paused, looking back down, "Well, the color of your eyes." She was quiet so I frowned, thinking harder, "I remember.. I remember here, but.. I remember being older." She perked up a little, smiling slightly.

"That's new."

"I don't actually remember it, but I remember being surprised when I woke up." I replied, glancing to Esme as she listened in as well, "And trouble." I looked back down, studying my hands on the counter, "I remember.." I paused, thinking hard, "There was so much. It's hard to think about."

"Is there any way you can maybe choose what to remember?" She asked, "Maybe instead of the most recent things first, try remembering further back."

"I haven't tried that yet." I admitted, glancing to her. I fell quiet for a minute or two, until I spoke up again, "Josh." I looked to her surprised, "He was there, too. And Zack."

"Where?" She asked, "And who?"

"Josh and Zack." I replied, "Jack's nephews. I remember them. From my dream, I think. Not as much as I remember you, but they're there. It's pretty mixed up. Maybe that's why I can't remember." I paused, "And the one with red eyes."

"Hold on." Alice said, and I looked to her, "Who?"

"I don't know." I answered, "I haven't seen him yet, but I remember his eyes the most. He's the only one I actually remember any part of what he looks like. I don't like him."

"I wonder why that is." Esme murmured thoughtfully, "You don't remember anything else about him yet?" I shook my head.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Alice told me thoughtfully, and it went quiet for a second.

"Can I have a cigarette?" I asked, gaining her attention again.

"Definitely not." She replied, calmly but incredulously. I looked down, shrugging a little.

"Just thought I'd ask." I mumbled, scooting a leaf of lettuce around the plate with my fork. Resting the side of my face against my fist, I kept my eyes down.

"Leandra, I don't think you realize just how bad those are for you." Alice spoke again, and again, I shrugged.

"Jack let me." I replied.

"He very obviously didn't care about your welfare." She countered, "Things are going to be much different from now on."

"It already is." I mumbled, "I'm allowed to eat here. I'm allowed to sleep, and I haven't been hit yet."

"You never will be." Esme told me before Alice could reply. I smiled a little at her, looking back down.

"What if I really mess up?"

"Even then." She replied, "There's nothing you can do to earn treatment like that."

"Do you promise?" I asked quietly, hesitantly hopeful.

"I promise you, sweetheart." She answered immediately, "Nothing. The only thing you can expect here is kindness." I smiled a little at that word, "Patience, and understanding. You have my word on that."

After lunch, I was allowed to sit in the living room with Jasper and Emmett while Alice and Esme worked on getting the room up the hall more suited to having someone living in there. I wasn't sure what that meant, but they thought it was necessary.

I didn't make it that far. Right there in the chair, curled up and watching some stupid TV movie, I didn't even realize I was falling asleep.

"The shorty's growing on me." I woke slightly a bit later to Emmett's quiet voice, "Doesn't seem so bad to have her needing to stay."

"Emmett, human children are a big responsibility." Jasper's reply was quieter, "Especially human children with her sort of past. I don't think you fully realize just what she's been through." The word he used confused me. Human children, versus the easier single word 'children'.

"That was then, this is now." Emmett replied, and his tone took on more admiration, "Look at her. Isn't she cute?" I frowned a little, adjusting how I laid, "I've always wanted a kid around."

"A past like hers isn't one easily recovered from." Jasper countered, "She's going to have problems."

"We all have problems." Emmett said in return, "She'll feel right at home here. You'll see."

"I'm just giving you a heads up here, Emmett. She's not going to have the same reactions a normal child would." Jasper sighed, "She's going to be more sensitive to different things. It's going to take work to get her through it. You can't play with her the way you could a normal child, you can't tell her things the way you could a normal child. It's going to be tough learning what not to do or say around her."

"I don't care." Emmett responded quickly, "I'll take care of her, then. Since you're so scared."

"I'm not scared." Jasper sighed, "I'm only concerned, and you should be too." Their bantering back and forth was really starting to bug me.

"I'm more than ready for that sort of responsibility." Esme's voice beside me had me opening my eyes. Rolling over a little, and looking up at her. I hadn't even heard her come into the room. She smiled down at me, "Your room is ready, if you'd like to take a nap where nobody's talking."

She tossed a disapproving glance toward Emmett, offering her hand. I couldn't help it. I yawned and nodded. I let her help me to my feet. Sitting up, and scooting to the edge of the chair, I used her help to stand and followed her from the room.

Esme smoothed my hair back softly as I laid back down in the same bed I woke up in this morning, closed my eyes. Comforting me greatly. With a soft sigh, I fell asleep almost instantly.

Waking up, I was disoriented at first. Pushing myself up with one arm, I looked around myself, dazed. What had woken me up? I didn't remember dreaming, but I felt like I always felt when Jack was around. The near panic, the fear. A sound still echoing in my mind, but I didn't know what sound it was. I was alone in my room.

Sniffling, I climbed out of bed, leaving the room to the smell of dinner cooking. I went into the kitchen, catching Esme's attention, as well as Carlisle's standing there as I rounded the counter and hugged Esme.

"They won't find him." I mumbled as she returned the embrace, surprised.

"Who?" She asked quietly.

"Jack." I replied, "They're not going to find him." I trembled as I stood there, my arms wrapped around her. Just holding on.

They couldn't find him. If they couldn't find him, they couldn't keep me safe.

"I knew this was a bad idea." I whimpered, just loud enough for them to hear.

"No, honey." Esme murmured. Carlisle sighed, "They'll find him. He just wasn't where they looked. That's all it is."

"He's going to come for me." I mumbled, looking up at her, "I'm going to be that bunny."

"No, you're not." Carlisle spoke up this time, "I won't let that happen."

"I'm so scared." I admitted, looking up at him now, "I don't want to die yet."

"And you won't." He told me, and though I started to cry, I couldn't help trying to believe him. I trembled where I stood, looking around me.

"I don't want him to hurt you, either." I mumbled, looking back up at him, "He will."

"I'd love to see him try." I looked back at Emmett's voice, "He's not getting anywhere near you while I'm around, shorty."

My tears finally started to fall. Esme embraced me tighter, which I returned. Unable to help it. I really didn't want to die yet, but I also really didn't want them to get hurt trying to protect me. I cried into Esme's side, shaking my head.

What had I done?

**A/N: If there are any mistakes in this one, I apologize. I've been pretty distracted lately.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed last chapter! YAY!  
I'm quite aware that the site was down for majority of yesterday, so no worries about that.  
****Anddd... YAY! A normal length chapter! Lol**  
Next chapter we'll be moving on. You may recognize some points, but I'll do my best to fit them in.  
Until Eleven, my friends. (:  



	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Cursing, I darted across the hall into the bathroom.

For the third time in less than twelve hours, my nose dripped blood. Out of the blue, usually accompanied by a slight ache in my head. Not too much, but enough to spend minutes trying to stop. How was I supposed to get any sleep at all tonight if it kept doing this?

"Leandra?" Esme was at the door, "Honey, are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." I mumbled around the wad of toilet paper held to my face.

"Are you _sure_?" She pressed, not sounding at all convinced.

"Yeah." I replied. I didn't want to let on that anything at all was wrong. The last thing I needed was for them to worry. They'd already worried enough about me the last three days. I knew why she was worried, however. I was supposed to be sleeping.

Holding my head back, I grabbed another handful of toilet paper. Sighing.

"Do you want me to get Carlisle?" Esme asked from the other side of the door.

"No." I answered, "No, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." Wouldn't that be fitting? I could definitely do without any more examinations.

I didn't want to be in here too long, knowing she was probably waiting on the other side of the door, so I rushed it a little. Stepping out too early. I hardly had time to notice Carlisle was there anyway, having replaced Esme, when I clearly felt the blood flow restart.

"Dammit." I muttered, catching it in my hand and turning back around. This time, however, Carlisle followed me in.

"What happened?" He asked, turning me around and pulling my hand away.

"Nothing." I replied, surprised, "It just happened."

At his instruction, I sat straight on the side of the tub, and he corrected me. Apparently, holding my head back was wrong.

"Forward." He instructed, "Head down." I did as he told me, letting him gently pinch my nose closed. I hadn't been doing that. I sat like that for several minutes. I was embarrassed, but not enough to refuse his help. I just wanted it to stop.

"Am I going to die?" I asked, and he seemed to find that amusing. I did a little too, smiling a little along with him.

"No." He said, "You should be fine. Just a few more minutes."

Since my head wasn't back, the blood that still managed to flow filled my mouth, instead of letting me swallow it, so I had to spit it out into the toilet paper. It happened less frequently now, and soon stopped altogether. For a couple of minutes passed that point, Carlisle still held my nose.

"Okay." He sighed, releasing me, "That should solve it." I slowly raised my head, sighing, "What caused this?"

"I don't know." I answered again, gently wiping off my upper lip, "It just started."

"Are you dizzy at all?" He asked, "Any unusual pain?"

"No." I replied, "I'm fine. Annoyed, but I'm fine."

"Why are you annoyed?"

"I'm not used to nosebleeds that keep coming." I responded, "And definitely not on their own. I mean, I get.. Or used to get them a lot. Especially when Jack would hit me too hard, but I've never gotten any on my own before." I sighed, "And I'm tired. I want to go to sleep, but I don't want to bleed all over the pillow either."

"Well, I want you to sit upright for at least an hour." He instructed, "Keep your head above your heart. We'll see if it comes back, and if not, then you can go ahead and go to bed, okay?" I nodded, "If it does, then we'll see what else we can try." I nodded again as he stood up.

It felt strange being taken care of like this. It was one thing when he was driving across two states to rescue me from a dark alley, but this was different. This was a little thing. Some minor thing that he helped me with.

Somehow, this meant just as much to me as the big things.

As it turned out, I was fine. The reason it came back the first two times was because I never stopped it the right way. Go figure. Sitting upright on the couch, my chin resting in my palm, I watched TV with Emmett on the other end of the couch. Yawning almost continuously.

"Aren't most kids your age dying to stay up all night?" Emmett asked, noticing my yawns.

"I don't know." I mumbled, shyly glancing at him, "I just know I'm tired."

"Right." He said, "Busy day."

"Yeah." I agreed quietly.

"Tomorrow, you'll want to stay up all night." He suggested, and I glanced to him.

"Probably not." I replied, "Why?"

"I want a friend." He grinned, and I shook my head, looking back to the TV.

"Do you ever sleep?" I asked, "Staying up all night isn't all it's hyped up to be. I like to sleep."

"Sure it is." He reasoned, "When you stay up for the right reasons."

"There are right reasons?" I asked skeptically, "Like what? Watching some boring old movie?"

"Sure." He said, "Nothing wrong with an old movie."

"I guess not." I mumbled. I hoped I hadn't offended him somehow. I sighed, "I haven't watched many movies."

"You haven't?" He asked, surprised.

"Nope." I replied quietly, "We don't have a TV at our house." He was quiet for a second.

"Um." He spoke up again, "Yes you do. It's right there, silly." I was confused for a second, until I understood what he was getting at, "And you happen to be talking to the movie expert, shorty. I'll show you all the best ones." I smiled a little.

"Tomorrow, though." I suggested and he nodded.

"Oh, definitely." He said, "There's plenty of time." I looked up as Carlisle stepped into the room.

"How are you doing?" He asked, sitting in the chair closest to where I sat.

"It's still gone." I replied quietly, "Can I go to sleep now?"

"Eager to get away from me, I see." Emmett sniffed, "I see how it is. Here I was thinking we were getting along, but I guess I was wrong." I was surprised at first. I _had_ offended him. For some reason, that thought really bothered me. I didn't want to offend him, but I was really tired. I couldn't stay up all night like he did.

"I-I.. Well, no, but.." I looked his direction now. Really not sure how to reply, "I mean.. I-I'm just-"

"Calm down, shorty." He chuckled, "I was just playing with you." I whimpered, seconds from tears.

"Try not to cry, Leandra." Carlisle could see how upset I was, "That would be the opposite of helpful right now." He gave Emmett a glance, but didn't say anything to scold him. That wouldn't be helpful either. I'd feel worse. I struggled, but managed not to by taking a deep breath. I just felt so bad. Emmett laughed, surprised as he watched me.

"Aw, shorty." Emmett said, the chuckle still in his voice, "I'm sorry."

When I was calmer, Carlisle checked the inside of my nose, which was quite humiliating, and he checked my eyes with a bright little light. He must have seen something right, because he sighed and nodded.

"You're okay." He said, standing along with me, "Just let me know if it comes back, okay? I need to know these things in case there's something I missed during the exams today."

If I hadn't felt it before, I definitely felt it now. He was _actually_ concerned about me. He actually cared whether I was comfortable or hurt, or not.

That was both a nice, and a tough realization to have. It confused me, and whatever confused me, I didn't quite like.

"I will." I mumbled, "Good night."

"Good night." Carlisle responded quietly.

"Get some rest, shorty." Emmett smiled, and I turned. Heading back into my room. Still quite confused, but I chose not to focus too much on that. It was one thing to know Carlisle wouldn't hurt me, but this was different, to know he actually cared one way or another.

I climbed back into bed, sitting up for a few minutes. Wishing I could understand it.

I wasn't stupid. I wasn't. There were a lot of things I knew that other kids didn't know, but I was quickly finding out that there were also a lot of things I didn't understand. Things I obviously still had to learn. Like how to get used to kindness, or someone actually wanting to be around me. I had to learn how not to be alone. How to let someone help me.

How to just step back, and let someone else handle everything for once. I'd already done that, but I hadn't quite gotten it down yet. I'd been on my own for so long, it was a tough concept to grasp.

I had to learn how to let someone worry about me for once.

Laying down, I closed my eyes, and I let myself fall asleep.

I woke in the morning to someone standing beside the bed. It was more of a sense at first, and the second I opened my eyes, and saw someone standing there, I was upright. Fighting back, and letting out a sound the neighbors probably heard however many miles away.

"Whoa, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "Calm down."

"Emmett, I told you not to go in there." Esme's voice was coming closer to the room, which relieved my panic enough to let me start crying. She rounded the doorway, and came straight over, "I told you how many times?" Her tone was upset, but not at me. My heart beat too quickly, only fueling my tears. I felt so stupid for crying, yet again, but I couldn't help it. I hated being taken off guard like that.

I accepted her hug as she sat down beside me. She sighed, looking up at him, "Go wait out there."

I struggled to get my tears under control. I hated how I had so much to be scared of, and I proved it repeatedly. I just wanted to not be so scared all the time. That's all I wanted. Maybe I just needed a little bit of time alone. To reset myself, and adjust a little to being here. That seemed like an impossible thing, given how many people were here. I always found I did a little better with time to myself. I definitely wasn't used to all this interaction.

Maybe that's what was messing me up?

I'd been hidden away all my life, and suddenly, I was being stuck around so many people all at once with hardly any time to myself. That was probably why I was always so upset. The problem I found, though, was how to go about telling them that, without seeming ungrateful or rude. I wasn't ungrateful. Not in the least, but I couldn't adjust without some sort of time alone.

"Jasper's out there." Emmett countered quietly, "And he's not very happy. I guess it bothers him if I scare her." The look on his face had me cough out a laugh around my crying, which was strange for me. I'd never done that before. I still held onto Esme, but I found it a lot easier to calm down this way.

Thankfully, those sudden tears didn't restart my nosebleed from the night before. Carlisle really knew what he was doing.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett said, "If you're there, Jasper won't kick my butt." I felt better enough to agree, so I sighed, climbing off the bed.

"What about later?" I asked, "If I'm not around?"

"We'll worry about that later." He suggested, and I shrugged. I had to admit. I felt a little more important, being the one that prevented Jasper being too mad at Emmett. Even if he was a little unnerving, Emmett wasn't that bad of a guy, and it was definitely something to have a big guy like him want me around for his own protection. Even if I was just a small shield to him.

"That was some noise you made, shorty." Emmett chuckled as he let me lead the way into the living room.

"I know." I mumbled, "I do that sometimes when I'm scared." To my surprise, Rosalie was sitting in the living room, along with Jasper.

Emmett was so casual about everything. Like nothing ever bothered him. He could bring up an embarrassing subject like a noise I made like it was nothing.

I hesitantly accepted the seat beside Emmett, so I was stuck between where he sat, and where Jasper sat. Just that was enough to only heighten that sense of importance, and I took my job seriously.

"What are you doing, Emmett?" Jasper asked as Emmett seated me beside him, and his tone also told me he wasn't very happy.

"She's protecting me." Emmett grinned in return, "Aren't you, shorty?"

"I guess so." I replied quietly, "Not sure how good I am, but I can always try."

"I think it's nice." Alice commented from where she perched on the armrest. That seemed to prevent Jasper from commenting any further, and I did see the tiny hint of a smile on his face as he shook his head and turned his attention to the TV.

"I'm really sorry I scared you." Emmett chuckled down at me, and I shrugged. Sighing a little.

"It's okay." I looked down, "It's not hard to do."

"Nah, you're tough for a ten-year-old." He told me, and I had to look back up.

"I'm nine." I shook my head a little.

"See, I already forgot you were so young." He pointed out, "That's how tough you are, mighty mouse."

"I don't think I am." I mumbled, "I'm anything but tough."

"I beg to differ." Jasper spoke up again, and I looked to him.

"Huh?" I asked. I'd never heard that saying before, and it confused me.

"It means I don't agree with you." He explained, "Because you're wrong." I sighed, not really wanting to argue with him, so I just shrugged. Keeping quiet now.

It was quiet now as I focused on the TV, and what was on it. Over time, I became less tense, and I found it easier to relax. With nothing really planned for the day that I knew of, nothing to really dread, I found it even easier.

Emmett seemed determined to get me to like him. Reaching over, he took my hand, and after just a few minutes of being uncomfortable, it didn't bother me anymore. I held onto his hand now, frowning a little.

"Esme!" Alice seemed particularly excited over something as she jumped up from her spot before I could mention what I wanted to mention. I watched after her, watching her leave the room. I shook my head, shaking it off, as I looked back down at Emmett's hand in mine.

"Your hand's so cold." I mumbled, trying to wrap both of my hands around Emmett's. Just to warm it up.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking over, "Well, yours is warm." His tone was joking as he turned my own statement around on me. I was learning to tell the difference.

"I'm just saying." I laughed a little, unable to help it, "Why is your hand so cold?"

"I don't know." He replied, "Maybe there's something wrong with me?"

"No." I said immediately, "You'd know it, and besides. Everyone else's feel the same way."

"Interesting." He murmured, smiling over at Jasper.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me?" I asked quietly, frowning a little.

"There's nothing wrong with you, shorty." Emmett replied, "Nothing at all." I didn't agree with him, but I didn't argue. There had to be something wrong with me if I was the only one with a different temperature. I knew there really was something wrong with me, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my temperature being different than everyone else's.

I didn't have much time to concentrate on that, as Alice came back in.

"There's a storm coming." She grinned, and even if I didn't really understand, everyone else did. Emmett's instant grin told me that was good news. I was confused for a moment. Why would even _more_ rain be reason to be so excited?

"I don't like the rain much." I mumbled, "Is that a good thing?"

"I really don't know." Jasper was talking to Alice now, "Is that wise? Right now?"

"Bring the shorty with us." Emmett waved it off, "Maybe it'll jog her memory." He poked my head lightly, and I looked up at him.

"That's definitely not happening, Emmett." Alice declined this time, "And I think she'll be fine here by herself for a little while."

"Oh." I perked up, that catching my attention, "Yeah. I'll be alright if you guys have to go somewhere." That's what I needed! I couldn't help agreeing with her. I needed this. I barely managed to hold myself back from begging them to go without me.

"Okay, I don't trust that eager face one bit." Emmett muttered after a moment, and I looked down, "I don't think we should leave her here alone."

"It's not like that." I replied, looking to him, "I'm saying I'll be alright. I won't touch anything or anything. I'm just saying that you don't have to worry about me."

He didn't seem convinced so I sighed, disappointed now. Laying back a little too roughly. I was normally very careful, but this time, I wasn't. My back landing too roughly against the back of the couch, and I gave a quiet gasp. Wincing heavily and squeezing my eyes shut.

Being forcefully reminded that no matter what happened, I wasn't ever going to be a normal kid.

My bruises would heal. They'd go away with enough time, but despite how much I really wanted to, Jasper was right. I wasn't a normal human kid. I'd never be like Rachel or her friends. I'd never be like any of the kids at my old school. I'd never be like the kids in my class, or the kids my age. I'd never be like Josh, or like Zack. No matter how hard I tried.

I'd always known this, but for some reason now, that thought broke my heart. It upset me now, because I wanted to be somebody else. I didn't want to be me. I didn't want to always have to be reminded of what I grew up to be.

That thought, that one single thought, smashed any hopes for a good mood today. It left me with a cold, bitter feeling that I'd felt before, but normally, it wasn't so strong. Like a block of ice had settled in my stomach. I always hated it, even if it'd never actually hurt before.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett had noticed, and I opened my eyes.I steeled myself. Something I usually did when I refused to let myself cry. I knew the routine by now. This was just how I was when I was dealing with too much. This was how I got when I was overwhelmed. I ran when I was overwhelmed. I hid from everything overwhelming me. Blocking everything.

I took a breath, realizing that whether it was rude or not, I was going to get my alone time. I no longer considered their feelings. I just couldn't.

Sniffling forcefully, I stood up. Stepping passed Jasper, his curious gaze on me, I passed Alice as well. Heading straight for my room. Or rather, the room I used for the time being. I forced my thoughts to change. I didn't want to consider any part of this place mine. I was already getting far too comfortable, and that was no longer okay with me.

I didn't _want_ this. I didn't want to inconvenience anyone. That's exactly what I was doing.

I didn't want Emmett trying to make me like him. I didn't want Jasper trying to understand me, or figure me out. I didn't want Alice pretending I was something special, and I didn't want Esme to make me trust her anymore. I didn't want to trust her, I didn't want to trust Carlisle, and I didn't want to trust _anyone_.

I wasn't a normal kid. I knew that from the start, but now that it was real, I couldn't help feeling I'd be better off on my own. How very quickly my mood could change told me instantly that I didn't belong here.

I didn't belong anywhere but the dog pound.

I didn't belong anywhere I could hurt someone.

Just like before, my cooperation had reached its end. I was fighting this, just like I knew I should. That promise. The promise I'd always made to myself came forward yet again. I was so _afraid_, so very scared of being disappointed that I should have refused to let myself get into a situation where I could be. What was wrong with me?

"Shorty?" Emmett called again, and I heard him stand.

"Let her be, Emmett." Jasper spoke up, and I was glad he seemed to understand at least.

"Hey." Emmett had followed me, "Hey. Shorty, what's wrong?"

"Emmett," Jasper called after him, "I mean it. Don't push her."

Ignoring his words, Emmett caught up to me. He went to take my hand, but I jerked. More of a reflex, really. Spinning as I did so, smacking his hand away from me as I faced him in the hallway. The sound of me hitting him was loud, but it was more of a shove. There was effort behind that shove. More than I'd ever given before.

I stood there outside my bedroom door, tense for a few moments. Glaring up at him just enough to surprise him into taking a step back, his hands up in a calming gesture.

"Whoa." He murmured, all joking aside. I didn't hear him at first, unable to help myself as I glared harder, my fists clenched by my sides. I wanted to hit him, and I went to take a step toward him, but I stopped myself. Placing my foot back on the floor before I could move.

Without taking my eyes off Emmett, I noticed Jasper stand from his place on the couch up the hall in the living room, watching us, and it took my attention enough to calm me down. It was also enough to be surprised at myself. Where had _that_ come from? I had to consciously make the effort to unclench my teeth, not even really noticing I'd clenched them.

It took only a few breaths to calm enough to get ahold of myself. Emmett hadn't moved, watching me with surprised concern.

I calmed even more, despite the way that I knew I was probably in trouble now.

Glancing over at Jasper and Alice though, looking away from Emmett for the first time since I started to glare at him, I didn't see anger in their expressions. They were just as surprised as I was, probably having seen what I'd just done. I still couldn't believe it.

It took me a moment.

I could tell the difference immediately. I wasn't scared at first, or running for my life. I wasn't trying to get away from him like I probably should have. Not like I always would have. I was facing him, not trying to run away.

It took me a moment to realize that's what I had done. I had, in a sense, just challenged him. Almost daring him to try to grab me again. Why would I _do_ that? Not only could he smash me like a bug, but just _smacking_ him had hurt me. My hand ached dully with a subtle sort of throbbing pain I hadn't experienced before.

My glare slowly eased as he watched me there in the hallway, shaking my hand out a little as I looked back to Alice and Jasper, both closer now. They'd come closer. _Now_ came the fear. I could feel it start, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Easy there, shorty." Emmett muttered, still surprised, "I wasn't gonna-"

"Leave me alone." I murmured, spinning back around. I pushed my way into my room, closing the door in his face.

I sat there for hours. I was both glad, and a little disappointed at the fact that Emmett did as I told him to. My head was still spinning with how quickly my emotions seemed to turn on me. It was instant.

I knew, even if I denied it to myself, that I'd acted like that before. How else would I have known how? I chose not to dwell on the fact that I didn't remember ever acting that way before. Just like everything else significant these days, it had to have been in that dream.

It scared me how quickly I could change like that. Go from alright, to sad, to.. _That_. Whatever that was, was instant. It wasn't a learned behavior. At least, not recently.

I whimpered, laying to the side. I couldn't think about that.

It wasn't just the fact that I didn't run. It wasn't even just the fact that I had smacked him. It was more than glaring like that. It had been one very tense moment. My entire body had reacted to it, like every muscle had locked up, but I _wasn't_ scared. I'd been mad. Instantly angry, like I'd never been before.

Laying there, curled into a ball, I made a decision. If they left me here alone, I'd go. I'd just disappear, where I couldn't hurt anyone anymore. Now I was more convinced I belonged in the dog pound. Locked in a cage, because that's all I was. Some animal.

This reminded me so much of the many times I'd suddenly felt the urge to run. It wasn't just something I decided to do. It was something I just did. Not even thinking about it, not choosing to do it. I just did it.

A quiet knock at the door that evening startled me at first, until I looked back down. Maybe if I didn't say anything, they'd think I was asleep. To strengthen the lie, I closed my eyes, slowly snuggling further into the pillow I'd curled around.

Just as I'd figured, the door came open anyway. Just a little. Slowly, hardly making any sound. I forced myself to breathe evenly, laying there, refusing to move.

I never heard the door shut again, so I kept up my act for as long as it took, and eventually, I really did fall asleep. I never thought it would be possible, not after how badly I scared myself, but somehow, I calmed enough and I drifted off.

I dreamed. Barely, and it was hard to see, but I dreamed. About what I'd just done to Emmett. I felt bad. I really did. He wasn't going to do anything. He was just trying to make sure I was okay. That wasn't his fault.

My dream changed, and what I saw didn't surprise me. It was Jack. He was there, but this was different. Something was going to go wrong.

When I opened my eyes, I was laying in the dark. I'd forgotten to turn my light on before falling asleep, so this really bothered me. I sat up in my bed with a slight bounce, looking around myself in the pitch blackness. What had woken me up?

Was it the dream that had woken me up? Or was it something else? I didn't hear a sound around me.

That soon stopped mattering. The regular fear I felt in the dark came back, and I knew, all I had to do was just move a little bit. All I had to do was scoot over, reach out and turn on the lamp, but I couldn't move. Fear immobilizing me. I was so _convinced_ that if I reached out, if I uncurled from my tiny ball for just a second, something would get me. I squeezed tighter into my ball, squeezing my own breath from my lungs.

I might have been tough in the hallway, but that was long gone now.

However, I knew the longer I sat here, the longer I had to make sure I never moved again until the light came back. I was scared, but I knew I had to move.

Before I could dwell too much on it, I steeled myself the best I could and forcefully climbed off the bed. Standing up, I felt twice as vulnerable as I had before, so I did the only thing I could think of. Racing across the room as fast as I could. Fighting the door open, I jumped out into the hallway with a soft cry of fear. Knowing something was behind me.

The hallway was dark as well, but not near as dark as my bedroom was. It took me a moment to realize that I'd actually been brave enough to run through the dark. Maybe this bravery thing wasn't all bad. I was safe now. Looking back into the dark room, I reached over and turned on the hallway light. My panicked breathing had yet to slow down as I looked around the once dark room. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody waiting there to stab me if I moved wrong. Nobody waiting for me to leave myself vulnerable. It was just the room. Now void of anyone.

Slowly, I pushed the door further open, walking back inside. Straight to the bedside lamp, and turning it on. Ensuring that didn't happen again. I would sleep with that on tonight. I stood there, calming down after what felt like hours of fear. That had taken a lot out of me.

I sighed, rubbing my hungry stomach. I couldn't believe I'd gone the whole day without eating. That was probably what woke me up. Curiously, I started wandering. It was odd for me to not to see anyone.

They must have had to leave, and they chose to leave me here. Probably giving me my space, which was best, considering I almost attacked one of them like a cornered animal.

Although, to keep myself from remembering the promise I made to myself earlier in the day, I focused on the plate of chocolate chip cookies I found on the counter in the kitchen. Carefully stepping closer, I bit my lip as I slowly peered over the edge of the counter at the plate. Heavily tempted.

Would anyone notice if any were gone? They were just right there. Nobody was around to ask, and nobody was around to tell me no, so I figured. Why not? I was hungry, but didn't really have the energy to actually make something, so I'd deal with the consequences later on.

So I snagged one, and darted around the counter to sit in one of the seats there. Nibbling on the cookie eagerly, looking around. It was eerie here alone.

I froze as the garage door opened suddenly. Stuffing whatever was left of my cookie into my mouth quickly. Chewing slowly with a wide eyed expression, I glanced sideways as Carlisle stepped inside first, followed by someone else, and Esme afterwards. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I had eaten something.

I hoped they wouldn't be mad as their eyes found me. Especially after my behavior earlier.

"Leandra." Carlisle came to my side. He seemed tense, but not mad at me. I could tell that instantly.

"Hmm?" I couldn't exactly answer him.

"Go into your room." He urged, and I frowned a little. He never told me to leave the room. Nobody did. I wondered why that suddenly changed. Maybe he actually was mad? But he didn't seem to be. He wasn't angry. I was good at telling when I needed to run.

I glanced behind him toward where Esme stood talking with the stranger that had come inside with them.

"Hey." I mumbled when I'd cleared my mouth. I looked closer as I climbed off the seat at the counter.

"Leandra." Carlisle tried to take my attention again, "Go."

"Who's he?" I asked, and he looked my way. His gaze meeting mine. I partly recognized him. From where I stood, in the fading evening light, I had to really look, "His eyes are red." I could see that much, and the confusion in his eyes confused me right back.

I'd gained Esme's attention now, and she stepped forward, "Come on, honey." She took my hand. I kept my eyes on him, though. Walking backwards as Esme attempted to lead me away, resisting ever so slightly.

"Esme, his eyes are red." I murmured as we neared my room again, "But I don't think he's the same one."

"He isn't?" That caught her attention, and thinking hard about it, I shook my head. I might not have remembered anything else about the one I remembered, but I knew that wasn't him. I was sure of it.

"Uh-uh." I answered, "Who is he?"

"We'll explain it to you later." She replied, "For now, we just need you to sit tight, okay?" Meaning, stay in my room. I nodded, watching her close my door behind her as she left. The red eyed man.

He wasn't the one I remembered. How many people in the world could have eyes that color? I'd never seen _anyone_ with eyes like that. Now suddenly, there were at least two? How many others? And how were their eyes that color to begin with? Maybe a weird light brownish color? No. There was no brown there.

I waited in my room for as long as I could, but eventually, my curiosity got the better of me. Slowly pulling open my door, I peeked out. My door never made a sound, so I thought I was in the clear until Esme found me before I could even take a step out into the hall.

Coincidence.

She took my hand, hugging me into her side as she sighed. Something was wrong. I could tell that immediately. I looked up at her as she led me toward the kitchen, and into the bright garage. It seemed as if every light in the room was on, and it was busy. Something had obviously happened, and I'd missed it completely. Left clueless, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to know.

From there, she let me go, only to have Carlisle replace her with his hand on my shoulder. Everything was happening so fast, it was hard to keep up.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, looking up at him, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not, Leandra." He assured me, but his tone wasn't very assuring. Well, _something_ was bugging him, and I could only hope it had more to do with the red-eyed man than with me.

There wasn't much chance to ask him much else, as he wasted no time in crossing the garage with me and insisting I get into the back of his car. Not quite pushing me, but urging me. The tension, which was already starting to get to me, told me I knew this. Listen to what he didn't say, and do it. Which I did so, confused but too surprised to try to ask.

I climbed into the backseat beside Bella, she and I glancing to each other. We weren't alone in here either, as Jasper and Alice both took the front seats. Were we going somewhere? Looking out the window, we weren't the only ones preparing to leave.

Everyone else was as well.

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry." I spoke up, looking to Alice in the front.

"Leandra." Alice's quiet voice had me stay quiet as we got moving, "You're fine."

She said that, but I didn't believe her. I whimpered, staying quiet as we took the driveway first. Outside the car was dark, and I couldn't see much outside my window. It worried me, left me with a chilled feeling.

I looked to Bella, "Why do we have to leave?"

"Don't tell her." Alice murmured from the front, "She doesn't remember yet." I sighed, but didn't push it. I only wanted to understand, but apparently that was too much.

Looking back out the window, I watched. Calming now, into almost a daze as everything seemed to speed up, flying by as I slowly forgot about my questions. Calmer than I should be, it really didn't take long for sleep to find me.

I didn't understand what was wrong with me. Why I could go from scared, to calm so suddenly. Maybe that was part of what happened earlier? Maybe there really was something wrong with me.

I knew I should be scared, and I knew I should be wide awake, but I wasn't. The only thing I could be was tired. Nobody spoke now, the car silent as we left the house far behind. I closed my eyes, much like I had when Jack had taken me, but this was different. Like we were leaving not just the family, but everything else behind.

As I slept, it seemed as if a permanent frown was on my face. I was awake enough to remember that much. I could concentrate enough to know something was there. Closer than all the others, but that's because this hadn't happened yet. I knew that difference.

Everything was different now.

We never stopped. We just kept going, continuing on through dawn, and morning. Through afternoon, and evening. Despite the physical pain of sitting so still for so long, I couldn't stay awake. It felt, to me, like I'd taken some sort of sleep medication, because right then, sleep was more important than being comfortable. I knew I hadn't though, which was pretty confusing to me. As confused as I could bother to be, anyway.

We got to a hotel, and I woke enough to know that Bella had fallen asleep as well. Alice carried me from the car, giving me time to wrap my arms around her neck weakly, but Jasper helped Bella to her feet. Now and then, he glanced back at us, paying close attention to where we were as he grabbed Bella's bag. I didn't have a bag, but that hardly bothered me right then. I just rested my head on Alice's shoulder, and fell back to sleep. Not even awake long enough to see the inside lobby of the hotel. I was just out.

When I opened my eyes next, I was curled in a ball on the couch of a rather large hotel room. A thin blanket wrapped over me, and a pillow under my head. I opened my eyes, staring at the back of the couch, blinking tiredly. It wasn't a particularly comfortable position to lay in, but I still didn't want to move. The couch was pretty hard and uncomfortable, which told me that if I'd been laying on this for very long, moving would hurt ten times worse.

My bruises still healing would protest the second I tried to move, if they were already yelling this badly already. I eventually did have to move, however. My limbs felt stiff, and continuing to lay there for any continued length of time was surely out of the question.

I took a breath, and rolled over. Uncurling, and whimpering quietly in pain as I tried to push myself upright as I did so. I couldn't help it, and it alerted Alice and Jasper across the room that I was awake now, given how Alice stood up.

"Leandra." Alice murmured, crossing the room to help me sit up. Thankfully, "How are you feeling?"

"Ow." I mumbled, unable to say much else. I was already so close to tears, having to explain anything else would have ensured that I cry.

"I'm sorry." She sighed sadly, "We thought Bella could use the privacy of the bedroom." I nodded, and I really did understand. Even if I still had no idea what the hell was going on.

"It's okay." I whimpered, fixing my bunched shirt. She was quiet for a second, sitting beside me. I looked up at her, "When are we going back?"

She hesitated, "We'll be here for awhile." There was _so_ much she wasn't telling me. I wasn't stupid.

I hesitated as well, biting my lip a little, "Why are we here?" She studied my expression for a moment, as if debating with herself. I didn't ask again, waiting to see if she decided to tell me. I didn't want to push it.

"Your eye is looking better." She offered instead, and I looked down.

"Leandra." Jasper spoke up now, and at first, I thought he would be the one to explain. He stood up, "I want to talk about what happened yesterday." I looked down, "With Emmett." I had a feeling that was coming. I should have known I couldn't get away with that so easily.

How much trouble would I be in? It wasn't that I didn't deserve it, because I knew I deserved a punishment for it, but I was afraid. I was scared. My bruises were _just_ starting to heal. Why would I go and mess that up?

He crossed the room, and as he reached my side, I couldn't help cringing back, holding my breath as I partially cowered into Alice's side. I was unsure, really not sure if he was mad at me for what I'd done. Given his surprise as I chanced a look up at him, I was leaning more toward no.

Any other time, I'd have been put right back into my place for how I acted toward Emmett. Even if I really didn't mean to.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking up at him briefly. He looked to Alice before sighing and kneeling beside the couch. That made me feel a little better. Less leverage to hit me with.

"You're not in any trouble." He told me, and I let out the breath I held.

"I'm not?" I asked hesitantly, and he shook his head.

"No." He replied, "You're not." He was quiet, but I still couldn't look at him, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"No." I mumbled instantly, "I can't."

"Why not?" He asked, and I knew what he was thinking. Because of my response, he was thinking I couldn't trust him. His tone was quiet, but deeply curious. The sound of the TV almost drowned it out, despite how low the volume was.

"Because I don't even know." I answered, and he seemed to finally understand. I was still shaken up by it.

"What do you mean?" He asked, and I sighed. Trying to get over my brief moment of insecurity just then. He wasn't going to hit me, so I slowly adjusted how I sat. Crossing my legs under me now, I bit my lip.

"I mean.." I mumbled, pausing, "I don't know what happened. I don't know why I did that. I feel really bad for doing that, but.. I never meant to."

"Can you tell me how it happened?" He asked, and I looked down.

"I don't know." I replied, "I just remember.. I wasn't scared. I was _mad_." I looked back up, trying to explain it, "I was _so_ mad. For no reason. I know he wasn't trying to make me mad, and I know he was trying to scare me either, but I just.." I trailed off, shaking my head with a sigh, "I don't know." He nodded, letting me know that it was okay. He wasn't mad that I couldn't remember, "It took me a little while to notice how I was acting, but when I did, it took me a little while longer to stop it." He nodded again, letting me know he heard me. He was calm, not at all upset over what I was telling him.

"I've never done that before." I admitted quietly, "I don't know why I did that. I don't even know how I knew how to be that mad."

"It's okay, Leandra." He assured me, standing with a sigh. I looked up at him, "I think I understand now. Just try not to let it keep bothering you. I'll talk to Emmett, even if he's very eager to talk to you himself. He just doesn't understand what it means when I tell him not to push you too hard."

"Is that what happened?" I asked quietly, "Did he push me too hard?" Jasper nodded, answering my question with a sigh.

"Figuratively, of course." He answered, "But yesterday, you wanted nothing more than to be alone. You wanted your own space, and I can understand that, with everything that's happened. Emmett didn't."

"I'm really sorry for how I acted." I mumbled, and he smiled a little.

"Don't be." He said, "Emmett needs to know your boundaries, and all you did yesterday was show him where they are in a way he'd understand." I smiled a little at his smile, feeling immensely better, "That's the only way he'll learn."

Bella chose that moment to wander out of the bedroom part of the room, and instantly, their attention was taken by that. I continued to sit there, trying to recover from the pain I still felt. I knew it'd be weeks, if not longer, before that would go away. I still had at least a few weeks of pain to look forward to. Maybe that was why I was still so guarded?

Time passed, and I was eventually able to stand up. I had to wander around the room. Since I wasn't allowed to leave it. I was happy I understood finally, though. All I was doing was showing Emmett my boundaries. Whatever that meant. If Jasper wasn't upset with me over it, did that mean nobody else was? I could let myself hope now.

I couldn't help but feel, though, that there was more to it that he wasn't telling me.

A day passed, then another. I didn't ask anymore. I just did as I was told. Eating as directed, but there was more. I watched closely, growing increasingly curious as yet again. I never saw them eat. I never saw them sleep. I never saw them do anything, but sit there. They never got bored, despite the way I did. Just sitting there like they were waiting for something.

I didn't ask about that, either. Just watching. Wondering when the time would come when I'd get my answers. They _had_ to be tired. They _had_ to be hungry.

I was edgy now. On top of being bored, there was much more to it. Nervous, anticipating something like I had the night we left, but worse. I didn't like it.

"Leandra." Alice finally called my attention, and I turned. Just now noticing both she and Jasper were watching me pace a little, "Come sit with me for a moment." I shook my head. Turning back around, my eyes found the view out the window again, something that had taken my attention often the last two days. The late afternoon sunlight touched the city, and a lot of the buildings in it, but not the room we were in. I didn't like the sunlight anymore. Not a bit after California. This place reminded me too much of California, and I desperately wanted to go back home.

I jumped a little as Alice was suddenly beside me. I hadn't heard her get up.

"What's wrong?" She asked me quietly, and I knew by the way she looked at me that she was aware of how I felt.

"Something's coming." I mumbled, looking back out the window. I didn't know what else to say. I could feel it, but I couldn't describe it. She didn't ask me to, to my relief. She just stood there with me, watching the traffic below for a few minutes before she sighed. Hugging me briefly into her side, she left me alone. I stayed where I was, not bothering to turn around as Bella came back out.

She'd been here and there, edgy like I was, but for more reasons. I managed to gather that much. She was the lucky one, however, getting the bed. I didn't mind it so much, though. Sure, the couch hurt my bruises, but at least I didn't have to sleep on the floor.

I always found that when things changed, they changed quickly. Like before, back at the house. It was calm one minute, then the next, everything got moving again. Like sitting in a boat, going down a river. The water would be calm and slow one second, the next, you'd have to hang on, or get thrown out.

That was all I could do now, as the three of them talked quickly and quietly. About things I didn't understand. Soon, I told myself. I'd get to ask my questions soon. They'd explain. I just had to be patient. I knew my cooperation made it a bit less stressful for them. If I could help just a little, I would.

I just watched out the window again, letting them sort it out.

"Leandra." Alice called my attention, "Come on. Put your shoes on." Oh, we were leaving. I slipped on my shoes in probably record time. Stumbling as I attempted to tie my shoes while walking, trying to follow Alice and Bella. Jasper hung behind, and a few times I had to catch myself on him as I started to fall over. He didn't seem to mind, though. Patiently watching me.

I felt a little worn down from the last two days, and from not having a change of clothes. Nobody had brought any with them, and no one wanted to leave the room long enough to get me some, but then again, I never brought it up. I was fine.

Everything seemed to speed up from there. Rushing to check out, I saw the outside of the room for what felt like thirty short seconds before we were back in the car, and headed for, as Bella directed, the airport. Did that mean we were going back?

At the airport, it was almost difficult to keep up.

I had to practically run until Jasper, probably tired of having to keep an eye on me several steps behind, picked me up and carried me along. I bit my lip, not wanting to complain. I also didn't want to bring up one other tiny issue I had while everyone else seemed to be in such a rush with getting a ticket and getting to the right side of the airport in what also felt like thirty seconds. To my surprise, though, they'd only gotten one ticket. Weren't all four of us going back? Or was it more complicated than that?

I didn't ask about it, not even letting on that I'd noticed.

Until Bella eventually did, to my relief. She mentioned going to the bathroom, and I immediately agreed. Alice allowed it, thankfully, and Jasper was the one to escort us. I found that odd, but again, didn't say anything. I was just grateful we had time to go.

I followed her quickly, diving into the bathroom ahead of her, and finding the closest stall while Jasper waited outside. I wasn't paying attention to Bella anymore, preoccupied with one task at a time.

I washed my hands once I was done, curiously looking around. Bella wasn't out here anymore, so I assumed she was still busy, and stepped back out the way I came in. Sighing, I took the open spot beside Jasper. Waiting with him.

"This must be so confusing for you." He spoke up, and I looked up at him.

"Confusing isn't anything new." I replied quietly, "I learned a long time ago how to just go with it."

That was it for the conversation. I don't know how long we stood there, but Jasper seemed to be getting impatient.

"Please go back in there, and have her hurry up." He told me, and I nodded. Immediately doing as he asked. I rounded, and pushed open the door again. I couldn't blame him for getting impatient. I was too.

"Bella?" I called ahead of myself. Letting the door close behind me.

To my further confusion, however, every stall was empty. All the doors open, none in use, but I was the only one in here. Further investigation found the other exit door.

I came back out, pursing my lips a little.

"Um.." I wondered how mad he'd be, "She's not in there." I reported, and he frowned.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Positive." I said, "Maybe she got lost. There's another way out in there." He sighed heavily, and lifted me again. I stopped reasoning then, knowing it was about time to go. Alice was on her feet, waiting for us when we got back.

"What took so long?" She demanded, "And where's Bella?"

"She's gone." Jasper answered her, "You go look for her, and I'll get her settled." I didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but Alice gave a firm nod, lifting Bella's bag and heading off in the direction we'd just gone.

Jasper set me down, and handed me the ticket. Looking to me firmly as he also slid a couple of twenty dollar bills into my other hand. My hand closed around them instinctively, before I'd even noticed what else it was he was handing me, so I couldn't refuse it.

"I need to know you can follow directions." He told me, and I nodded quickly, "Okay, take this, and hand it to her." He gestured to the lady at the desk up ahead, "She'll give it back to you." I nodded, and he continued, "Go through that door, and down the hallway until you get to the plane." The ticket was for me? They were sending me back alone? I'd never been on a plane before. I hadn't the slightest clue what to expect.

"The first few rows of seats are where you want to sit. The third row of seats on your left is yours. If you still get confused, just ask one of the attendants, and they'll help you find it. Sit down, and wait. Don't move from that seat unless you really have to, okay?" I gave him a worried look, and he continued, "Once you land, Esme will be waiting there to pick you up."

"B-But, I-"

"Just go." He urged, and I took a breath, "You'll be fine." I held that breath, nodding.

Slowly, I walked away. Looking back, he was already striding off in the opposite direction. I swallowed nervously, doing as he said. Handing the lady my ticket, she marked it, and handed it back to me. I assumed this was the right way, as she didn't try to stop me.

I followed his directions exactly, and found the seats he was talking about on my own. The ones up front. I sat down quickly, adjusted how I sat, and trained my eyes out the window. I was so nervous, watching the people outside.

I knew we'd barely gotten me on in time, but it was still a surprise when I watched as they started closing the door so soon after I sat down. This was it. No way off of this thing. Instead of focusing on what the attendants were telling us, my mind was busy rolling through the possible reasons for all of this.

Was I that much trouble that I couldn't stay with them anymore? Was that what all this was about? Was I in the way? Jasper said Esme would be there. Maybe this was just for my own protection? Something had to be really wrong for them to worry so much. I knew that, so maybe they were just trying to make sure I didn't get hurt.

Or maybe they were just trying to make sure I didn't screw anything up.

I looked down, jerked from my thoughts as the plane started moving.

**A/N: I'm SO sorry this took so long. RL has been demanding my attention more than this, unfortunately. BUT. Like a week late, here it is. :D  
It's not easy making an informative chapter slight filler as well, but somehow, I managed to lol  
Chapter twelve won't be taking near as much time. It's already written out, just waiting for the second editing phase, and you can bet it'll be out soon, because I'm excited about it lol part of chapter twelve, a rather large bit of it, had been written out since before Christmas, and though I did have to change it in a few places, it's just about as ready as it'll ever be.  
ANYWAY. THANK YOU to my beautiful reviewers! I love reading all your thoughts!** **  
Again, thank you guys for being so patient with me, and not pestering me too much lol it's out now, and you can look forward to action in Chapter Twelve. :D  
Until Twelve, my friends. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**ImPORTANT NOTE: This chapter gets pretty scary, so just proceed with caution.**

**Chapter Twelve**

After the nerve-wrattling part of taking off was done, it wasn't so bad.

Other kids in the seats further behind me were still crying half an hour later, as it was probably their first flight too, but I sat dry-eyed. Sure, I understood where it was easy to be scared, so I didn't think any less of those kids, but I wanted to tell them to just suck it up.

I sat there still trying to figure this out, nervously biting my lip as my eyes stayed out the window. Watching as the clouds below us became more frequent, and soon, there was no way to see the cities below through the clouds.

During a very brief moment of immaturity, I wished I could touch one of those clouds. Just to see what it felt like. Until I shook my head, and questioned my sanity.

By the time we finally landed, I wasn't any closer to an answer, but my nervousness had tripled. Now convinced they were only trying to get rid of me, I hardened my nerves, and chose to do something about it. Getting rid of me, or getting me out of the way, it didn't matter to me. I hatched a plan, and I'd go through with it, because it was for the best.

I'd get so far out of the way, they wouldn't have to worry one bit, but there was one place I had to go first. It was just the first stop. Every time I tried talking myself out of it, I always got back to intending to go there.

I followed everyone else off the plane. Just so I'd be a little hidden. I honestly had no idea if Esme was waiting or not, but I wasn't about to look around. I followed the largest moving group I could find away from where we'd gotten out.

After a few steps, however, I looked back. I could almost feel it, and it was almost enough to make me turn around and go back the other way. I knew that this, right there, was going to be a big decision.

This time, I told myself as I looked briefly for Esme. This time, my bad feelings will be wrong. I could do this. I could survive on my own. I sighed. I didn't see Esme anyway.

Through a set of doors, down an escalator, before I really got moving. I hoped my measly $180 was enough to get me from Seattle to Sappho.

I was lost, so very confused, so I decided to ask someone. Hesitantly stepping over to a small group of four teenagers standing at the entrance, I managed to get their attention without even having to say anything. Two girls, and two guys.

"Can you tell me how to get from here to Sappho, please?" I asked quietly. I hated to ask, but I needed to know. I also really hoped they were local, and knew what I was talking about. Would my luck hold out?

"Well, aren't you cute?" One of the guys chuckled.

"We're just waiting for Amy's dad, if you want to hitch a ride with us." One of the girls offered, gesturing to another girl, "Is it just you?" I nodded, and she smiled, "There's plenty of room, and we're going that way anyway. We'll just drop you off."

"Thank you." I sighed in relief, and they smiled in return.

Thankfully, we didn't wait very long, and thankfully, 'Amy's dad didn't seem to mind an extra passenger in his SUV. I was pretty compact as it was, so I took up less room than the teenager's backpacks beside me. Hell, I would have ridden in the trunk if it meant I could go through with my plan.

It was a long four hour drive, and half the time, it was me forcing myself not to regret this decision. Having second thoughts wasn't smart right then, so I focused on the four teenagers, and them talking about the trip they just got back from. Choosing to stay quiet as I listened, but not wanting to be rude, so I looked out the window as they chatted to each other. Having to talk louder, because of the louder music.

However, the entire drive, I never learned their names. Far too distracted now. I was still fighting off the regret.

It was dark by the time we got to Sappho, and despite how I insisted, 'Amy's dad didn't want to just drop me off on the highway. I was nervous he wouldn't let me out at the house either, what with it being dark and all, but to my very intense surprise, someone was there.

Two vehicles, to be exact. One of which I knew very well, and the other, I didn't recognize at all. The light was on in the master bedroom, indicated through the window. Hiding my surprise, I sat in shock for just a few seconds.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I made my way out, "Are you sure I can't pay you guys?"

"Keep it, kid." Someone smiled, "We're happy to help out."

Turning to look at the house, and the truck I was surprised to see there, I was suddenly not so sure if I could consider what they did to be helping out. I was here alone. Nobody knew I was here. Should I change my mind? The thought of who was inside that house tempted me to turn back around, but I never did. All I did was take a few steps away.

As they drove away, I carefully leaned on the hood of the unfamiliar car, just to retie my shoes so the mud in the yard wouldn't pull them loose, and immediately pulled back. That car must have just gotten there, as the hood was very hot. I winced, rubbing my forearm lightly.

So I did what I probably shouldn't have. I should have turned around, and left. I should never have gotten out of the car just then. I should never have run on my own. I should have done what Jasper told me to do, and met Esme. I should have stayed there. I should have waited, even if I didn't see Esme right away. There was much safer than here.

Instead, I stepped slowly through the yard, carefully using the light from the window to see the uneven yard. I had to see this.

Carefully stepping as close to the window as I could, I stepped up on a log just to be able to peer in through the window. I wasn't thinking. That was probably a very stupid move, considering the possibilities of what could be going on in there, but to my slight relief, it wasn't that bad.

I'd expected to see Jack standing there, given his truck sitting right out front. I couldn't wait to tell Charlie 'I told you so' if I lived long enough. This was unusually daring of him, though.

However, the second person in there, I hardly recognized. She was there, standing stiffly in front of him. Trapped between him, and the bed behind her. It was my mom.

Why was she there? Was she really that stupid? Once you get away from Jack, you don't go back. Not ever. Yet, I reminded myself, here I was. That didn't explain why she was here now, though. Had she forgotten to grab something when she left?

That hardly mattered anymore, as I continued to watch. Jack slowly stepped behind her. Almost circling her, but stopping himself directly behind her, reaching up and pulling her long hair from over her shoulder, to lie straight down her back. Internally, I cringed. I hated seeing him again, but I couldn't look away now if I tried.

I watched through the window as he embraced her. Hugging her from behind. His hands over her shoulders, his lips kissing her neck. For a second, it was a shock to see her standing up, but I quickly shook that off.

Watching what I was watching, I knew I wouldn't want to watch for very long. I had to be this close, though, because they were talking, and the window was open just enough for me to hear.

"Where is she, Jack?" Her voice sounded so afraid. Who was she talking about?

"I told you." He murmured into her neck, "I killed her." The single sound of her sob only confused me more, but I held it in as I listened to him continue, "I told you what would happen if you ever left. Now look what you've done, Gina." He reached to his side, pulling a piece of fabric hanging from his pocket loose. He held up one of my old shirts, and she looked away. I could see why.

It was covered, stiff and caked with blood that wasn't mine.

I wanted to call out, to tell her I was fine, but I couldn't. I could only watch as his hand came up, over her shoulder, gently cupping her neck. I was too scared, rooted to the spot. Peering through the window, as he tightened his hand on his neck and turned her around to face him.

Kissing her, I could clearly see the tears down her face as he leaned in close to her.

"You son-of-a-bitch." I heard her sob through clenched teeth. She cared if I was dead? That was a very confusing thought to me.

"We'll just have to make our own, won't we?" Jack murmured, cupping her cheeks between his hands, "You know she was worthless anyway."

"She wasn't worthless." Her emotion stole her voice, but I managed to hear it, "She was my daughter."

"We'll have a son." He assured her, smiling, "Just wait. You'll see."

Before she could tell him to go to hell, he kissed her again, and he suddenly pushed her down. Sitting her on the end of the bed as he stayed standing. She lowered her head, looking down as her cries increased.

I knew what she was feeling right then. The sadness. I'd felt it before. The kind that made it impossible to concentrate on really anything else. She wasn't paying attention to him anymore. She couldn't. I just couldn't understand, though. Why would she believe him? Why would he tell her that?

It took me a minute, but I slowly started to piece it together. He was doing the same thing to her that he always did to me. Telling her lies to control her. Maybe that's how it'd always been? Maybe she stayed drunk for her own safety? But that didn't solve the problem of my safety.

"No." I murmured quietly, shaking my head. I knew she couldn't hear me. Neither of them could.

Reaching for his belt, he chuckled. He was going to beat her too? Then, as he unfastened it, but left it on, I understood. I understood, and my eyes widened. I knew what he was going to do to her.

I couldn't let her go through that.

I'd been there. I knew what that was like, but I still couldn't speak. I was far too scared to. Both shaken by what I was watching, and scared of what would happen if I tried to go in there. I had to go _now_.

She wouldn't let him. She was stronger than I was, so I knew she'd never let him. I waited, standing there watching, waiting for her to tell him to go to hell. She wasn't saying it. She wasn't even paying attention. Pay attention! My thoughts were much louder than my voice could be. Snap out of it, mom!

This had to be a dream. A nightmare.

"Wake up." I whimpered to myself, "Wake up, wake up." I finally tore my gaze away from the window. I stepped down off of the log I stood on, looking around myself. I was just one kid. I couldn't stop anything from happening any more than I could stop breathing.

Looking back in, I could see why she hadn't said anything yet. In Jack's hand now was something I knew he never should have been given. The cold metal glared at me as he held the gun against her face. I knew Jack was dangerous, but was he really a murderer? Was I about to see somebody die? Was I about to watch her die? He wouldn't do that. It had to just be an attempt to scare her.

I stepped back then, away from the window.

If she had come back for me, that would have been a very stupid thing to do. Maybe she really didn't know what kind of person Jack was? How could she not know, though? That didn't really make any sense to me. She was married to the guy for six years.

I had a very big choice to make right then.

Looking around myself in the dark yard, I knew that whatever I chose would impact me deeply. I could run. Try to make it to town on my own, and hope Ken wasn't around here anywhere.

Or I could go in there, and do what I could to help her out. She'd left me behind, but she came back. Obviously looking for me, but I wasn't here anymore.

She must have come back, and by pure luck, or misfortune, Jack was here as well. Going inside, probably looking for me, but finding him instead, and because I wasn't here, she had to believe him. He wasn't about to tell her the truth. That he was actually on the run, and me supposed to be in a foster home.

If I knew him, any chance he had at making anyone fear him even more was impossible to pass up.

But that still didn't solve my problem. What was I supposed to do? Save myself, or do what I could to save her too?

I took two steps toward the drive, away from the house, until I sighed heavily and spun. Jogging as quietly as I could up the porch steps, and pushed open the door. It was already open a crack, so that wasn't hard to do. The living room was dark, but the bedroom door was wide open, allowing the light from the room to illuminate the horrifying scene in front of me.

Lifeless on the floor, in a huge stain of his own blood, was a man I'd never met. His blank stare, and how impossibly _still_ he was told me he was dead. I covered my mouth, stumbling a quick step back as I held my breath in a silent cry of fear.

Despite how quiet I knew I had to be, tears instantly started down my cheeks. Who was this guy? And why was he dead in our living room? I was already shaking so much, I never thought I could pull this off.

I had to take a moment, but I knew I couldn't take very long. I had to force myself to look away from the body on the floor, forcing myself to take deep breaths, breathing in the heavy, suffocating scent of blood in the room. I had something I needed to do.

Through how badly I shook, and the tears down my face, I forced myself to move. I kneeled beside the body on the floor, wincing a bit as I felt the pool of blood instantly soak my jeans. I wanted to throw up at how warm it still was. I never let myself look at him, sniffling as quietly as I could to try to clear my vision enough to do this.

I started at his jacket, patting his pockets and coating my hands in blood at the same time. Moving to his pants pockets. I felt no hint of what I was looking for, and I wasn't about to try to roll him over.

I needed a cell phone.

Sniffling again, I looked around myself. No phone anywhere in sight, and I didn't have the chance to take my time searching for one. I forced myself to stand up, and giving one last glance around, I got moving again.

Jogging as silently as I could to the bedroom door, I peeked around it. Jack had moved. He now kneeled on the bed in front of my mom as she sat sobbing. He hugged her to him, murmuring things into her hair. His back to the door, his chest blocking her view.

The only problem I found, was he was still wearing his jeans, but I clearly saw the phone tucked into his back pocket. How was I supposed to get to it without him noticing?

"I know." Jack told her condescendingly, "It's such a horrible day for you, isn't it?" Sobs were his only response, "First you find out. You found out what you left your daughter with, didn't you? You should have stayed, Gina. You really should have stayed. Maybe she might still be alive if you hadn't left."

I eyed the gun still in his hand, nervously taking a step inside the room. I had to hurry. Looking around, I found a large glass candle-holder. Sitting on the table against the wall, and I knew. I'd have one shot at this, and if I could pull this off, I could get the phone, and possibly save us both.

I didn't like the way Jack's hand held her. Wandering over her like something he owned. He wasn't gentle with her, but he was possessive of her as she cried. I didn't like where this was going.

"Then, your only brother." He continued, "Such a shame, that is. I didn't want to do it, but he was just so _stupid_ running in here like he did. Maybe it runs in your family." Her brother? Was that the man dead in the living room?

His hand wandered even further, slipping into the collar of her shirt. Pulling it away from her shoulder enough to kiss her now bare skin. I didn't want to see what would come. I knew that immediately.

Cringing internally again, I forced myself to remember again that I had something to do. I tip-toed forward, wrapping my hand around the heavy glass. Lifting it silently, I took his lesson awhile back to heart. Don't hesitate.

However, before I could, the floor creaked. My heart dropped as he turned around, and I froze. Unfortunately, I was close enough that he was able to grab my arm, twisting my wrist painfully as he pulled me closer. I stumbled, tripping and dropping the candle-holder, and landed on the bed beside my mom.

"Leandra." She gasped, relief in her sob as she helped me right myself.

"How _great_ it is for you to join us, you stupid bitch." Jack chuckled as my mom's arms wound around me. I started to cry yet again, holding onto her as well. I couldn't help it. She was offering comfort where there really wasn't any.

I eyed the gun in Jack's hand, inches from me. I was so scared, thinking of nothing but the man laying out there, knowing Jack had been the one to do that. I couldn't think of anything in those short few seconds, but his sworn promise to end my life if I ever told.

I'd _known_ that was a bad idea!

Only a few days ago now, I'd made the decision to rat on him, and effectively end my own life. I tried to get out of it. I tried to avoid having to tell Charlie anything, but I _had_ to. Charlie wasn't the one paying the price for it. I was.

After only seconds, Jack reached out, and wrapped his hand around my neck. Pulling me forward, away from my mom.

"It's been a little while, hasn't it?"

"Jack." My mom finally saw. She finally saw for herself the way he treated me, and he didn't give a care in the world.

"Thought you got away?" He chuckled, ignoring her, "Was all this worth it? Was it?"

I couldn't answer now, stuck in his grip. He pulled me even closer, kissing my cheek but leaving me there. Probably looking to my mom now, to really make his point sink in.

"You got away from me that day, and I _hoped_ you were dead." He murmured against my cheek, "Just so I wouldn't have to do it." I flinched, immediate tears renewing in my eyes as he placed the gun to my head. I'd seen what that thing could do, and I really didn't want to go through that.

Would it hurt for very long?

Would I even know he'd done it?

"Was all this worth it, knowing you have just seconds left to live?" He paused, nuzzling the barrel into my hair, "Think about your answer, and think hard, because those are the last thoughts you'll ever have." The metallic clicking hit my ears, and I gave a sob.

"Jack!" My mom finally cried, gaining his attention.

"Well." He chuckled, "Mother of the year finally speaks up, does she?" He lowered the gun, thankfully, as I gasped for breath through my panic, "If only you knew. What do you say, Gina? Think we can end all this stupid shit and you'll behave again? For your precious daughter's life?"

"Yes." She agreed instantly, and I looked back at her. Jack turned me around, sitting me down on his kneeling thighs, "Jack, yes. Just let her go." He adjusted my weight, and we both looked to my mom now. I didn't dare fight him, sitting there stiffly.

I was never one to be very comfortable facing Jack, but this felt so wrong. Sitting with him now felt very wrong. His left arm around me, holding me tight back against him.

"Now she pays attention." Jack chuckled into my ear, his hand still tight around my neck, his free hand's finger on the trigger of the gun, "What do you say, Leandra? Think she deserves another chance?" He was leaving it up to me? "Tell you what, Leandra. It's your choice. Do you think she deserves to keep her life?"

I sobbed on his lap, staring at my mom only about a foot away from us.

"Tell me." He said, "Do you think she _really_ deserves to live?" I bit my lip, staying quiet now. What was I supposed to say to that? What did he want me to tell him?

"Remember." He murmured into my ear, easing how tight he held my neck, "How many times you'd cry over what she did. How many times you'd _beg_ her to see."

I had no choice but to pay attention, to listen to every word he said. I couldn't just ignore him like I wanted to.

"You hated her." He continued gently, "You hated what she did. You hated her for ignoring your cries. A mother should always protect her child, shouldn't they?" He asked, and I sat still, looking down briefly. He was right. This time, he wasn't mad at me for not answering, and he just kept talking, "A mother should _always_ be there, yet she tossed you to the wolves. She just threw you to me. Like you meant nothing. Like you never mattered to her."

My mom said nothing to deny it. She just kneeled there, watching me while I watched her.

"So what is your choice, baby girl?" His voice was sweet, "Just say the word, and I'll give you closure." I sobbed a few more times, "She's still hurting you. Isn't she?" Slowly this time, I nodded, "It's her fault you grew up the way you did. If she'd just paid a little more attention, you'd have a completely different life. It's her fault you're right here now. She just never stops putting you in danger."

I remembered Jasper's words. He told me I had the ability to choose where I ended up and who stood beside me, but I didn't have the ability to control other's actions. I didn't have the ability to escape the consequences of someone else's decision. That's what this was. Jack was the consequence. Everything he did to me, he did because he _could_. That was all it was. That's what he'd been telling me my entire life, and that's what he was telling me now.

"If she'd just stayed faithful, you'd still have your father. He _never_ would have done the things I've done to you." He paused, his voice softening, "But I've been here. Teaching you, even with how reluctant you were to learn. I've taken care of you, raised you all these years." He had a point there, "Haven't I?" Again, I nodded.

"I know what you're doing." My mom finally spoke, "And it's not going to work. It won't work, Jack. She's too good of a kid." She reached for my hand, and I pulled my hand away. Surprising her.

"Leandra, please." Her voice broke, "Don't listen to him, baby. Please."

Who was she to call me that? She had _no_ idea whether or not I was a good kid. She had _no_ right to pretend she knew me at all. All this was, was her begging for her life. She was a _coward_. Someone who was only looking out for herself.

"You hate her, Leandra." Jack murmured to me. I sobbed again, knowing he was right, "You hate her for what she's done. Don't you?"

"Yes." I sobbed, and I saw how my single answer hurt her.

"I've been here, and where has she been?" He asked, softer now, "I know." He gently stroked my hair now. I glared now at my mom.

"Stop it, Jack." She was trying to be tough, "Leave her out of this."

"She's been just right there, ignoring your cries." He ignored her, and to be honest, I did too, "She's been just right there, and she did _nothing_ to end your pain. She's been right there, until she left you behind. She got away, when you couldn't."

That hit a nerve, and I squeezed my eyes shut. More tears forcing out from behind my eyes. He knew, he could see how much that bothered me. She'd left me like I meant nothing to her. I'd tried all my life to get her to see, but never once did she care.

"You don't blame me for what I did, do you?" He asked, "You blame her, and that's how it should be." He placed a lingering kiss to my cheek again, holding me tighter, "So what do you say, sweetpea?"

"Jack, let's just go." My mom was getting nervous now, "Let's just.. Leave here, and we'll go. Let her go, and we'll leave."

"See that?" Jack asked me, "She wants to leave you behind. Again." My teeth clenched, my glare hardened, "She's choosing me over you. Again. She just never stops, does she?"

Something clicked in my mind, and I knew. I shouldn't be this way, but I was. I shouldn't hate the way I did, but I did. I shouldn't be tempted, but I was. Everything else stopped mattering for right then.

"Do it." I mumbled, and my mom's gaze dropped just as Jack chuckled. I didn't even recognize my own voice. Did I really just say that? The sound of him cocking the gun really sounded off to me. Like it wasn't right there beside me.

"I want you to watch this, because this is your choice." He murmured softly into my ear. I coughed on a sob, nodding. I waited for it, holding my breath. I knew what he was going to do, and I did my best to prepare for the sound.

"Better yet.." He said after a few seconds.

He scooted me over a little, centering me on his lap. Holding me higher on his lap, supporting more of me now. He raised the gun, and took my hand in his free hand. Placing my hand over his, my finger over his on the trigger. He covered my hand over his with his free hand.

I saw what he was doing, and for a second, that scared me enough to try to change my mind.

"She's not going anywhere, because she knows she deserves this." He told me quietly, "Come on. It'll be easy. You add the pressure."

I hesitated, looking up at him.

He met my eyes, and smiled, "Make me proud."

I looked back to my mom, whose crying eyes were on the bed. I'd come in here, hoping to save her, but now I hated her. _So_ much. I hated her so much for everything she never did for me. She was supposed to be there! She was supposed to help me! She was supposed to be the one person who never let me down!

I hated her. I hated her for how often she made me cry, hurting me. Abandoning me, and doing absolutely nothing for me but make my life more painful. She thought she could fix it by coming back for me, but it was her fault I was in this situation now. It was her fault I had to make this decision.

Before I could hesitate any longer, Jack's free hand over mine squeezed, making me jump, and my hand tightened over his in response. The resulting sound would always be engrained into my mind. I gave a little coughing yelp, gasping as I gave just enough pressure.

Apparently, his aim was off, and hit her shoulder instead. The blood sprayed out of her, coating my surprised face as she fell over, clutching her heavily bleeding wound with cries of pain.

"Well," Jack chuckled over the ringing in my ears, "Looks like we were off on the aim. Should we fix it?" I was shocked, still stunned. Staring at what I'd done. Unable to move, I finally took a breath as Jack chuckled again, "Aw, look how much pain she's in, Leandra. I bet that hurts a lot." He kept my hand on his, "Put her out of her misery, Leandra."

Could I do this?

"Do it." He murmured against my cheek, "Come _on_. I know you can."

All I'd ever wanted was this.

Of course, not to kill her, but I'd only wanted Jack's approval. Since he was all I had growing up, his approval meant the world to me. The way he spoke to me now was all I wanted. The way he urged me, giving me support. He'd never spoken to me like this before. Never. Now, it was more than just some condescending joke. This was more than that.

But this was her. This was my mom. It was _wrong_.

But if I didn't do this, Jack wouldn't approve anymore.

I closed my eyes, turning my head. This choice was way too hard for me to make. For a moment, I was so afraid I couldn't do it. His other hand took my face in his hand, turning my head back toward my mom. I trembled.

"Come _on_." He wasn't angry, given his continued gentle tone, "Do it, Leandra. The longer you wait, the longer she hurts." His free hand left mine and gently pulled my hair over my shoulder, "You don't want her to suffer, do you?"

I took a trembling breath, everything sort of slowing down.

"No." He said, "You don't. You know what it's like to suffer. You know what it's like to hurt. Wouldn't you love to be the one to end her pain? I know you would. I know you, Leandra. Wherever you've been, wherever you go, that'll never change. It'll never be enough to undo the way I raised you to be." He paused, and I looked to him again, "Don't disappoint me, Leandra. I know you can do this."

I looked to her again.

She looked at me, and I suddenly remembered even more vividly. I remembered how often she would lay there. Not bothering to look at me while I cried. Not bothering to even acknowledge that I needed her. She was there, and I was stuck handling everything about Jack on my own. Now that I had her life in my hands, now was when she finally decided to act like I was alive. It wasn't fair!

Four years old. Five years old. Six years old.

Seven, eight, and now nine. My earliest memories of her were of the brown bottles I always had to bring her, and the way my heart broke when she barely spoke to me, if at all. It was _always_ about her. Never caring, never seeing. Never helping me the way I desperately needed her to. Never even bothering to tell me how good of a job I was doing. How proud she was of me.

Maybe if I did this, she'd finally be proud.

Maybe if I did this, she'd be proud, and Jack would be proud. I had a golden opportunity here, to make both of them proud of me at once. I needed Jack's approval more than anything.

With my other hand, I pulled Jack's hand free, took the gun from him, and aimed better. His hands found my upper arms, holding tight now. I hesitated only a second longer. Long enough to listen to his chuckle behind me.

Just as I was about to do it, he jerked the gun from my hand, making the sound that much scarier, and the bullet hit the wall across the room. I sat there, shocked for a little while longer, my ears ringing yet again. He leaned forward, half squishing me as he slammed the handle of the gun against her head. She fell to the bed, unconscious as he laughed, sitting straight.

"You were going to do it." He was shocked, surprised, "Holy _shit_."

I looked up at him, surprised as well. Why did he stop me? I met his gaze, and for once, didn't look down immediately. A frown on my face as I wasn't able to speak yet to ask him out loud. Why wouldn't he let me do it? I was going to!

"What are you going to grow up to be?" He asked, almost as if he were asking himself that question, "What did I make?"

He searched my eyes for a moment, before he sighed, shaking his head. I looked back to my mom laying there. Unconscious, but still clearly alive. I still hated her! I reached for the gun again, but he pulled it away from me with a quiet chuckle.

"Easy there, tiger." He said, "I was just trying to see if you'd do it."

"B-But.." I shook, trembling on his lap, "W-Wha-"

"And you were going to." He said, "If I hadn't pulled this damn thing away from you, there'd be two murders to cover up. Don't get me wrong, kid. I'm proud of you. Prouder than I've ever been, but I need her alive."

My anger and confusion suddenly shattered me into uncontrollable sobs, catching me off guard, and I'd never trembled so hard. My voice only added to the screaming sobs I gave now, bawling there on his lap as he held me tight to him.

Covered almost head to toe in blood, drying on my skin. Both from the man out in the living room, and what had come from my mom, my teeth were clenched as he held me tight around my stomach, standing and carrying me in one arm as he turned. My sobs were loud as he carried me from the room. Stepping over the man's still body on the floor of the next room, he headed for the back door.

"I can't tell you how proud I am of you, Leandra." I couldn't respond to that if I wanted to, despite how relieved I was, "It really tells me that all I've been teaching you has stuck."

With me in one arm, he stuffed the gun into his waistband, and set me down on the ground outside. I couldn't move now, shaking much too hard to really do anything.

Dropping me on the ground, he headed for the box. The shed that held most of his tools. Reaching in, he pulled the can of gasoline from inside, and turned. Heading back inside with a quiet, "Stay."

I watched after him as he headed back inside. Just a minute later, returning with my mom's unconscious form. Laying her beside me, before leaving again. My eyes were on her again, and I watched the blood slowly pool from the head-wound she had, as well as the shoulder wound. Slowly staining the dirt underneath her.

I looked up slowly as the kitchen window opened, and Jack came back outside. I was confused as he came back to my side and lifted me.

"Light one." He said, shoving a box of matches into my hand. He carried me closer as I did as he said, "Now toss it in." I was silent now. Numb, cold. I couldn't do much or even speak, so I did as he said to. We watched as the fire instantly started. The flames exploded loudly inside the trailer.

"Good girl." He'd never said that to me and meant it before, "One more."

I didn't hesitate, repeating the process and tossing it another direction this time, closer to my bedroom this time.

"Beautiful." He grinned, nodding, "Again."

Twice more I did so, and by then, the fire had spread too fast to catch. Now he moved us back, me in one arm, the matches in his other hand. Back across the yard, closer to the trees.

"They'll look for you in there, no doubt, but they won't find you in there. They'll find you right in here."

He set me in the box shed, and I suddenly got moving again.

Giving a desperate cry, I tried to jump out again, but he shoved me back inside with ease. Pulling the gun from his waistband, he took my bloodied shirt that had wound up in his pocket again, and wiped the entire gun down. Continuing to hold it, he paused. Holding me firmly by the face.

He sighed, shaking his head a little as he searched my eyes.

"I'd take you with me, but you'd probably just run again, or get me caught." He paused, smiling a little, "But hey. I'll see you when you're older. If you live that long, and I'll be sure to let my dad know how good you did tonight." He smiled, kissing my cheek again. I grunted in discomfort now at the rough way he did so, before I felt the sharp, brief pain of him hitting me in the head.

It was brief, as darkness covered me immediately.

I whimpered, which was the next thing I remembered. My stomach tumbled with the unbearable pain in my head. I was disoriented at first, looking around myself in the dark.

The smell around me reminded me forcefully where I was. I was in the box. It smelled heavily of mold, damp earth, and gasoline.

My vision had yet to focus, and the constant spinning made me close my eyes again. I struggled to push myself up, my hand falling on something hard and cold metal. The gun, I found when I opened my eyes. He'd left me with it.

It was cold out here now, and briefly wondered how long I'd been in here. The darkness outside the box told me the trailer fire had been put out. Whoever came to put it out never bothered to look in here, which was clear, and with me being unconscious, there was no way I was calling for help. Even if I could, or even wanted to.

I managed to shakily push myself up, sitting upright now with quiet gasps of pain. I'd never complain about a couch again. Never.

Sitting more comfortably, and curling into a ball. Closing my eyes and resting my forehead against my knees.

I didn't understand it. I tried to make sense of it, but somehow, I couldn't. He wanted me to do it. It had been his idea! Then he told me that I was worse than he was?

I drifted. Listening to the sounds of the night outside the box, I fell asleep. Closing my eyes, I fell asleep to that, and my thoughts of Jack's surprised expression. His words, his voice, his eyes. Everything about him that I hated, I realized I either had, or was becoming. That was a scary realization for me.

Scared to death, and probably in shock, I couldn't make myself shout for help now if I wanted to. Only a quiet, muted sob and a whimper left me as I lowered my head back down. I just knew they were going to eventually find me, and toss me in jail for what I did, and for what I almost did. They couldn't do that, could they? I was too small for jail.

When I opened my eyes again, it was still quiet outside the box. I just whimpered, and closed my eyes again. Waiting for the moment when they'd come looking for me.

If they did at all.

I dealt with my sentence inside the box in silence. I lost track of how long I was in there, but I know it was quite a bit of time. It grew light outside the box, and dark when I woke next. Then light again.

And still, I slept. In and out of consciousness, my head never once stopped aching. My frightened thoughts running in tiny circles, until slowly, the closer I went to unconsciousness, that tiny circle would expand ever so slightly.

Pushing further out as I dizzily stared at the other side of the box. Thinking, despite how I really didn't want to, about everything I'd gone through recently. Alice, California. Ken, the boys, Mike and Heather. Calling Carlisle. Reaching out for some help, only to somehow wind up right back here. In this box with nothing to look forward to but jail, or death.

Even if they did somehow find me, it would never be in time.

I was convinced by that time that I would die in here, and yet, I didn't care. I thought long and hard during my waking moments in this box. I thought about what I would get as a punishment for this. Would they give me the death penalty? For _wanting_ to kill my own mother? For hating her _so_ much that I wanted to end her life? Would they care at all that it had been Jack's idea all along? Probably not. Not knowing Jack.

The silence outside the box, now and then broken by the sound of crickets or birds, was all I heard. Aside from the pounding rain every so often.

The box was far from waterproof. It leaked horribly, and all I could do was throw my arm over my face. Hoping it stopped. Laying in the oily mud that formed inside there, now I lay almost motionless. Maybe moving my legs or my arms when they'd go numb from laying still for so long or from the cold at night.

How many days? A week? A month? A year? Who cared?

I left my eyes closed. There was nothing left to see anymore, as I'd resigned myself to death. I deserved it. I didn't deserve to live anymore. Not for what I almost did. I _owed_ Jack. I owed him for stopping me.

My thoughts continued. Dizzily, running around, never stopping. Restless, despite how physically, I sat so still. Running me around in circles again, like mice trapped inside a shoebox. Someone shaking the box, keeping them running around in panic. The pain in my head increased double the longer I kept my eyes open. I tried to focus on one thing, one thought at a time, but I couldn't.

It felt so much like my mind was trying to work overtime. I had no control over it, no way to stop it, so I knew it was pointless to try to focus. I just let go. Taking a breath, I let my thoughts go where they wanted to go.

Suddenly, just like that, I could remember. I saw, I remembered.

Back in the beginning. I remembered just how different this was, and I remembered just about _everything_. It was overwhelming at first, but that quickly sorted itself. I remembered.

I remembered now, how it had happened before. I wasn't supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to be sitting in this box. I wasn't supposed to be scared, and I wasn't supposed to be alone like this.

I remembered how it was supposed to be. That day, the day of the field trip, I was _supposed_ to hit Rachel. That's how it was supposed to go, but I didn't. Choosing not to hit her changed absolutely everything. Taking me down a completely separate path I could never turn around on. Despite the way that I could clearly see just how the other path looked now. At least, from where I was on my path, anyway.

I remembered all the things that happened. I remembered Carlisle, and I remembered just _how_ much he meant to me. I remembered relying completely on him, more than I had now. I remembered the family, much different then than it was now. Then, I had a lot more time to trust them. I remembered them, and I remembered the support. I remembered everything about them, and how it happened before.

I remembered something else.

Slowly lifting my head, this sudden remembered memory answered so many of the questions. The ones I knew I had, and the ones I didn't know I had. It solved the confusion, and it sent ice through my veins at the same time. I knew not to be scared, but remembering this, it made me see _so_ much more.

They were vampires.

That was the thing, the one thing that made them so different. Because they _were_ different. That made all the questions I had suddenly make sense, and I took a breath. How cold they were, how they never ate. Never slept. How quiet, reserved they were.

All the little hints, all the things I said that they found funny... That was myself, trying to tell me.

Jasper, the one not nearly as used to humans as the others were. That's why my staying there would have bothered him. Emmett, the bear. His preference in animals to hunt. He'd never hurt me. Alice, Esme, Rose. All of them. They were all vampires, but they weren't like the rest of their kind. They were different, and they were _mine_.

How much they'd meant to me, even from the beginning, was why I felt such a sense of loss when I'd woken up. Just remembering it had me suddenly melt into a sob, gasping quietly in my tiny ball, inside the tiny box.

I pushed further, and could only see such a short distance more before I was suddenly blocked. There was more. I knew there was more, but I couldn't see it yet. My mind already overwhelmed by remembering everything I had already remembered so far.

I hoped I wasn't losing it. Was it possible to be driven insane at only nine years old? As if insanity had an age limit. An age restriction that somehow overlooked those too young to know any better.

Those memories of the dream I had that night seemed so incredibly impossible, they couldn't be real, but I knew. They were real. I was _so_ sure that it was true. It was true, and I firmly believed it.

I laid to the side, covering my desperately aching head. It hurt so badly, I actually prayed to die soon. There was no other way to handle it. I must have fallen back to sleep there, because when I moved again, it was because I heard something outside.

I only barely stirred, however, when I heard the sound of the lock being messed with outside the box. I rolled over just a little bit when I heard the sound of what seemed like the lock being cut off. Removed forcefully, and the lid opened.

I couldn't see at first. Completely blinded by the bright clouded sky. I squeezed my eyes shut, turning my head with a quiet whimper as the blinding light nearly made my empty stomach turn painfully. I was actually very surprised I didn't throw up. I turned away, looking away. Turning my face back into the now thick mud underneath me, choosing not to see whoever it was if it meant not having to face that nauseating light again.

"Leandra." It was Carlisle. He sighed, reaching in, and I felt him take my arm in his hand, gently pulling me upright, sitting me up. I couldn't stand however, just desperately needing to stay limp. Scooping me up, he lifted me out easily as if I didn't weigh a pound.

I was cold, and I was tired. Soaked completely in left over blood and mud. Rain that had fallen through the box coating my skin, drenching my hair and clothes.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, leaving my eyes shut. I thought I'd only said it once, but I could tell I was repeating it by the way I had to keep taking a breath.

"I need to warm her up." Carlisle was no longer paying attention to my repeated apologies, "Her temperature is too low."

I was placed inside his car, gently laid in the backseat. Thankfully, it was dark in here, and I finally felt like I could breathe again as my repeated apologies died in my throat.

No longer having the energy to say them, even if I still felt them.

My eyes closed, and I no longer felt like I was suffocating. I wasn't as scared anymore. No longer left to die in my tiny, curled ball. Inside the tiny box.

**A/N: Well this chapter was eventful.  
THANK YOU to those that had and took the opportunity to review chapter eleven. :D I'm so glad to read that you enjoyed it.  
This chapter was difficult for multiple reasons. I had so many opportunities here, it's not even funny. All the possible ways this could have gone wrong, or even been avoided, but what fun is avoiding it?  
This chapter had originally turned out a lot differently, but my good friend/unofficial beta talked some sense into me, and I got back on track lol  
Seriously, without her, we'd probably still be stuck six stories back, so let's give her some recognition. :D She definitely deserves it.  
Now.. Chapter thirteen will probably be the final chapter of this story, and I'll be working on the first few chapters of the next story. Just to get them written enough to be considered an outline, and work from there.  
AS A HEADS UP: There will be SENSITIVE themes in the next story. Meaning, if you're sensitive to certain themes/subjects, I'd read/proceed with intense caution.  
Chapter thirteen is fine, though. I mean the story after chapter thirteen. :D  
Anyhoo... This got pretty long.  
THANK YOU To my reviewers, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :D  
Until thirteen, my beautiful readers.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

I must have fallen asleep yet again, because I was aware next only by being pulled out of the backseat.

I wasn't looking forward to having to spend any time in the hospital, until I recognized the garage. He'd taken me home. _My_ home. This used to be _my_ home.

"N-No." I finally mumbled, trying weakly to climb down from his arms. I whimpered, recalling what I remembered just the night before. He must not have heard me.

"Where'd you find her?" Alice was there, and her voice shook with what sounded like panic, "Where's she been?"

"C-Carlisle.." I was trembling again, probably more from the cold that I didn't feel.

"Alice, I need warm clothes. Her warmest clothes you can find." Carlisle wasn't answering questions, but giving instructions. I dizzily watched as Alice gave a nod, and turned. Heading back into the house as Carlisle continued, "Esme, please go gather blankets, and meet me upstairs with a bowl of warm water. I need to clear some of this blood away before I can really tell how bad it is."

Esme had been in the car with us, which I hadn't noticed until then. A hand gently smoothed my hair back, and I looked up to see it was Esme. I whimpered, and that was it for my sound-making for right then.

Carlisle carried me inside, and the warmth of the house instantly surrounded me. Through the doorway, into the kitchen, Esme following the entire way until we got inside, and she started off on her own.

It comforted me slightly, knowing I was safe now. Even if I didn't deserve it. I looked around, despite how I didn't move. He turned, carrying me quickly through the house and toward the stairs.

Inside his large office up the stairs, he sat me down on the long couch in the room. I didn't try to speak now, silent as he began removing my shoes.

"Leandra, I know this is hard for you right now, but I need you to focus." He spoke to me. I met his deeply concerned eyes, before closing mine and looking away. He was going to be so disappointed in me.

He sighed as I listened to someone follow us inside the room. Alice stepped in, dropping to kneel beside me and placing the clothes in Carlisle's hands. I opened my eyes, looking at her dizzily. As much as I'd slept the last few days, I was still tired. I must not have been sleeping. I must have just been resting.

She could see it. I knew she could, how hard a time I'd been having.

"Leandra, please." She murmured, distracting me as Carlisle removed my shirt, "Can you tell me what happened? Where have you been?" Before I could even lean back, he pulled the warm, dry shirt over my head. Probably getting it filthy, but I knew he wasn't concerned about that.

"Leandra?" She tried again, "It's been three days. Those are the clothes you left us in." I really didn't care, "Why didn't you wait for Esme? Where did you go?"

I didn't look at her. I just closed my eyes again. I didn't want to answer her. I couldn't now. If she knew what I'd done, she'd never want to keep me around. My eyes were just too tired to stay open, so I rested them.

"I found her at her old home." Carlisle finally answered her, "Inside the shed in the back."

"Carlisle, what's wrong with her?" Alice was obviously very worried. He sighed, replacing my jeans with the pajama bottoms just as quickly as he had my shirt

"Given her heart rate," He answered tensely, "And her low temperature, as well as her nearly complete lack of response to us directly addressing her, it's safe to assume that she's in a mild form of shock." He allowed me to lean back now as he pulled warm socks onto my feet, "The best thing we can do for right now, is get her warmed up, and hope she comes out of it on her own."

He moved only long enough to pull a blanket from the pile Esme held in one arm. When had she gotten there? He sat me forward yet again, draping the blanket around my shoulders and closing it in the front. My head was spinning at how quickly everything was happening. Just like before, I noticed that when things changed, they changed _quickly_.

That was all I was awake for. I started to warm up, and I couldn't fight sleep anymore.

Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to sleep for very long, as the sensation of water on my face had me flinch back in a startled reaction, trying to turn my head away from it.

"I know, Leandra." Carlisle was still there, "I'm sorry." Opening my eyes, I noticed he was just trying to clean my face up a little. Now that I knew it wasn't water dripping on me from inside the box, I was fine.

I calmed down, letting him wipe the blood away with the warm water. I didn't have the energy to resist, anyway. Over my cheeks, and over my nose. I sat still for him, shamefully keeping my eyes down.

"You were trying to say something earlier." He told me, and I glanced up, "Leandra, what were you trying to tell me?" I couldn't say it now. All the courage I'd had then was gone. It was just him and I in the room now, but that didn't help my confidence any.

"Not all of that blood was yours." He continued, "I know that. There's no way it could be." He meant on my clothes. I'd foolishly believed the mud would cover it, but I was wrong, "Leandra, I need to know what happened. Were you in the house before it burned?"

Hesitantly, I nodded. Giving him his first direct answer since he'd brought me up here.

"Was there someone else with you?" He asked, and again, I nodded. Technically, there were three others there, but one didn't count because he was dead. I closed my eyes at the memory of it, flinching back again from Carlisle's hand. I was done answering for now.

He watched as I brought my legs up, curling slowly into an upright ball. I felt safer this way.

"Was it Jack?" He asked, and I didn't nod this time. I didn't shake my head. I just hid half my face in the blanket bunched in my hands. Like this, I felt safer. I wasn't trying to be rude, but I needed to feel safe so badly. He had to understand that.

My eyes closed, just so I wouldn't have to see his concern, or his worry.

I must have actually fallen asleep there once again. I meant to stay awake, to try to make myself answer him, but I couldn't hold onto consciousness. I fell asleep, just like that.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but I know I slept deeply. Probably having more to do with knowing I was safe, than having to do with being comfortable. When I opened my eyes, I was still in his office. Still on the couch, probably so he could watch me from his place at his desk.

It was dark outside the windows, but the fire burning in the fireplace illuminated the room, warming it at the same time. Also catching my attention. I pushed myself up, having been laid down. My eyes on the fire across the room. Just watching it.

The way it looked, the way it sounded held my attention.

"Leandra?" Carlisle stood up. I blinked, hearing his voice before I looked down. Away from the fire. The fire bothered me, but I wouldn't say anything. I curled right back up into my upright ball, letting out a quiet, gasping sob as I buried my eyes in the blanket still curled around me. I clutched it to me, not wanting to let it go.

He must have seen something good, because he wasn't as worried now. Probably the fact that I moved, and made a sound again. That I started to cry.

"Leandra, I need you to talk to me." He was there beside me. I hadn't even seen him cross the room, "As much as I know you want me to, I can't leave you alone until I know." I shook my head, vigorously this time. I knew he saw it, as I raised my head again to look at him.

"I know you don't want to answer-"

"No." I finally spoke, gaining his full attention, "Don't leave me alone. I'll talk, just.. Please. Please don't leave me alone." My voice trembled with how quiet it was, but it was something. Slowly, I shifted. Moving myself over, closer to him. Still in my curled, upright ball, but I needed to know, at least for right then, that he cared.

This was such a change, I knew he noticed. Normally, I avoided him. Normally, I kept as much distance as I could, but this was the opposite. He hugged me into his side, and I leaned against him. Even if I knew I didn't deserve it, I needed to know he wasn't going to disown me. At least not right away. There was just something about knowing he'd never, ever hurt me that changed me and how I acted toward him.

Sitting for a few minutes, both of us silent. He watched me as I started to calm down. Despite the quiet way I sniffled, I was calming down, until I sighed.

"Tell Jasper to stop trying to calm me down." I murmured almost silently. He didn't reply at first, hardly moving. Sudden stillness. A typical surprised reaction. I finally looked up, watching him as he watched me.

"You remember?" He finally asked, and slowly, I nodded again.

"That's what I was trying to say earlier." I admitted, "I remember, and I knew being covered in blood the way I was would bother everyone."

"Can you tell me what all you remember?" He asked, and I pursed my lips for a moment behind the blanket.

"Before," I mumbled, "Everything was different. It didn't happen this way."

He waited, listening closely as I continued, "You took me in first thing. Before. The same day of the field trip, because you got me to admit it that day. I never went home that day. Changing one thing changed everything else."

"So we had taken you in?"

I nodded slowly, "You got me to admit it, because instead of walking away, I actually did hit Rachel." I answered, and he nodded as well, "You had to be called in, and I met you that day. I don't know how you did it, but you did. You saw, and you were the only one I had to trust after that. Before, I trusted you first. Before everyone else. They were going to send me to a group home until a foster family could be found for me. You volunteered because I trusted you so much."

I sniffled, looking down briefly. Sorting through the confusing memories.

"I spent the week here," I continued, "Nothing else that happened now happened then, except Laurent. That happened just like it did before, except then, you explained. You told me. You were honest with me then, because while you tried to hide me at someone's house, I figured it out. From what you told me before we left, I figured out what you couldn't tell me, so I demanded that you explain. So.." I hesitated, "I found out. All about.. V-Vampires, and why you're so different." I stumbled on the word, half worried he'd think I was insane. Now was when I'd figure out if it was true or not. I looked up at him hesitantly. He didn't seem amused. He seemed nervous.

He didn't speak now, probably gauging my reaction.

"I'm not scared of you." I finally told him, "I'm not. I still trust all of you just like I always have, except now, I know why. I remember how much you meant to me, to trust you enough to tell you outright like that, but that isn't the same as it is now." I sighed, "That's why when I woke up, I felt so sad, because I lost that. I didn't have the trust anymore, and I didn't have you anymore. I didn't have you, I had nobody. Until I found Alice that day."

"There's more." I mumbled, looking down, "So much more happens, but I can't remember it yet. I do remember, though, where I was before I woke up." I offered that, hoping he'd continue to listen. He gave me a nod, letting me know to continue.

"It's weird, because I remember the beginning, before, and I remember the last thing I saw." I paused for a breath, "That's why I was so surprised when I woke up, because I was here. The last thing I saw before I woke up, I was sitting out there. Out front. On the steps. I wasn't by myself. Everyone was with me." I frowned a little, trying to describe it, "I remember.. Being confused when I started to feel pain again, and I remember.. Wondering if something had happened, but it was only me. Waking up." He was quiet, so I continued.

"I was seventeen." I admitted hesitantly, "I was seventeen before I woke up back on my bedroom floor."

"That must have been so disorienting." He finally spoke, and I nodded.

"Nothing in the world like it." I replied, "I can't remember anything about what we were all doing outside, or who everyone else was, but I remember. I was here. I was out there. I was here, and I remember everything I need to know now, so you don't have to worry about getting into.. Trouble.." I trailed off. Slowly frowning, as I thought. Sitting up straighter, my eyes on the rug now.

"What is it?" He asked, seeing my change. What was the name? The name of the reason I said that? I knew his name now. I saw his face, and I knew his name.

"Aro." I muttered, looking up. Just remembering his name, the thought of the person behind the name made me curl up tighter. I wanted to say more, given Carlisle's shock at me mentioning the name, but I couldn't. I couldn't remember where I remembered his name from, or why, but he was obviously a real person, given Carlisle's surprise.

"Who?" He asked, and I bit my lip for a moment.

"Aro." I replied, "I don't like him. He's the one I remember that I don't like."

He stood up suddenly, crossing the room. I watched after him, watching as he turned to face me. Gesturing to a single painting on the wall.

"Is this him?" He asked firmly, giving me a single nod, and despite how nervous I was, I couldn't clearly see from where I was, so I stood up. Bringing my blanket with me, I shakily crossed the room after him. Stepping carefully so I didn't fall, until I reached his side.

I took another look, and despite how I'd never seen the men in the painting before, I knew immediately who Aro was.

"Him." I said immediately, taking a step back. Hesitantly, I pointed to the one in front of the others, "That's Aro." My heart pounded uncomfortably as I continued looking. An involuntary shiver rolled down my back, and I held the blanket tighter. Something like a very mild form of panic settled into my stomach, and I bit my lip, "That's him."

He watched me closely, probably for what he knew I would say next. I pointed to the other two in the painting now, individually.

"Caius." I said, "And Marcus." I stepped closer, looking harder, "I don't mind Marcus so much, but the other two.." I trailed off, shaking my head as I looked back up at him.

He sighed, moving now. Taking my shoulder in his hand, he turned us around. Away from the painting now, back across the room to the couch. Given his expression, the fact that I knew them was troubling to him.

"We'll revisit that subject another time." He told me, "But for right now, I must ask." I froze, pausing while settling back down on the couch, "Leandra, what happened?"

I was quiet as I curled back up, averting my gaze. I wasn't ready to lose his support so soon.

"How did this happen?" He reached forward again, gently touching my upper forehead. I winced, pulling back and reaching my own hand up. Higher up on my forehead, near my hair, was a padded piece of gauze, and I knew the wound underneath it was left over from Jack hitting me. I found that it was pretty decent sized, as I felt the lump underneath, and I sighed. Letting my hand drop. Keeping my eyes down.

"Someone had to have put you in there." He prompted. He waited for me to gather the nerve to speak again. Even if I was so afraid of him disowning me, he deserved to know. He needed to know what kind of person I was.

"I deserved to be in there." I mumbled, and I vaguely noticed the concern cross his features. I was quiet now. I couldn't continue.

"Leandra," He sighed, "If you trust me half as much as you say you do, and used to, trust me enough to tell me what happened. Please."

"That's why I can't." I murmured, "As soon as I tell you, you'll get rid of me."

"No, I won't." He replied immediately, "I don't make promises I can't keep, Leandra, but I promise you that nothing will ever make that happen."

That helped. Quite a bit, so I sighed. Unwrapping myself from the blanket as I realized I was getting too warm. I took a deep breath, holding it for a moment, before I let it out slowly.

"Everybody else can hear me, huh?" I asked shyly, and he sighed a bit, nodding. I looked down again. Gathering my thoughts for a moment, before I spoke again, "I did deserve to be in there. I never deserved to be saved, and I deserved to die in there."

"Why would you say that?" He asked quietly.

"Because if what I did." I answered, "And for what I wanted to do." He continued listening, never rushing, so I sighed.

"I got off the plane, and I snuck out. I found a ride with some kids and their dad, all the way back to Sappho." I went quiet again, fighting back the emotion. Studying my hands, taking deep breaths. If I didn't say this soon, I'd never say it.

"Well, I got there." I paused, "Jack was there, but so was my mom."

"Your mother came back?" He asked, surprised, and I nodded.

"I know." I said, "I was surprised too when I saw her there." I hesitated, "She came back for me." I took a breath, emotion threatening to steal it, "I tried to save her, but.. Somehow, it just.. All got turned around."

"What do you mean, Leandra?" He asked quietly.

"I tried to kill her." I admitted just as quietly, and despite the way I could clearly see his shock, he didn't say anything. Giving me a chance to explain, which I was thankful for.

"Jack was there, and he had a gun. I was scared, because he'd already killed somebody just before I got there, but I went into the room anyway." I didn't really give him a chance to ask about that, though I knew he wanted to, as I continued, "I was trying to save her, but Jack held me, and he told me that it was up to me whether or not she kept her life."

Tears had formed, and started down my cheeks, "And I decided she couldn't."

He leaned back, but I continued before his sigh was even through.

"Jack told me I had to be the one to do it, but he stopped me before I could." I let out in a rush, "I only shot her in the shoulder. He pulled the gun away from me before I could kill her. She was fine the last time I saw her. W-Well, not _fine_, but you know.."

"Where is she now, Leandra?" He asked, his tone gentle.

"I don't know." I mumbled, "After I set the trailer fire, Jack put me in the box. He must have taken her with him when he left. Before he knocked me out, he told me he'd see me again. When I was older, if I lived that long."

I closed my tired eyes, waiting for it. Waiting for the disgust, or disapproval.

"Did he hurt you?" He asked instead, and I looked up.

"Other than this," I touched my forehead again, "No." He nodded, relieved, "He kept telling me how proud he was of me. I think that's why I almost did it to begin with, to make him proud. I knew it was wrong, but he'd _never_ been proud of me before. Never. Not once. That's all I ever wanted. To just _stop_ messing up long enough for him to be proud of me." I hesitated, "But.. There's something else."

He waited, and I looked up at him.

"I wanted to do it." I admitted, "I still want to. I-I mean, I would have, but I was still so surprised over the first time, and I waited. I don't know why I waited."

He sighed again, nodding once more. Probably choosing not to press too much into that. I just wanted him to know. I needed him to have some sort of idea of what he was dealing with.

"Thank you, Leandra." He told me, and I nodded. Hoping that was the worst of it. I was so tired.

I watched as he stood up, suddenly feeling the need to say something else. Just so he knew how I felt.

"Carlisle?" I asked, "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course." He answered, slowly sitting back down.

"I didn't want to tell you." I admitted, confused for a moment, "I didn't want to tell you, because I know how much people like me bother you. I was scared of what you'd say."

"Leandra, everybody deserves to be listened to." He said, "To be heard, and understood."

"I wish I could have remembered what was in the vision before.." My voice broke, and I looked down, "I know now how disappointed you would be if I had gone through with it, and I know differently now." I blinked slow tears from my eyes, really not sure how I would continue, "And I know to you, nothing's changed. To you, I'm just some kid, but to me, everything's different."

I took an emotional breath as he listened.

"It's harder now, though." I told him, closing my eyes, "Because I had a chance to get older, to get to know all of you, and I actually _remember_ now, and.. I'm trying not to cry, but it h-hurts.." I broke again at that last word, "I _miss_ you." This time, I couldn't keep talking. My emotion taking my voice. I was grieving, sitting right there, like I'd actually lost someone, because to me, I had. It wasn't the same.

Probably because he saw how much I was hurting, he stood up, and took the spot beside me. I turned, accepting his hug gratefully with a soft sob, and returning it as much as I could.

"You don't have to." He told me, "Because I'm right here."

"It's not the same." I cried, "I wish I knew how to explain."

I didn't have the energy to cry for very long, so even despite how I still hurt, I couldn't keep crying. He held me until my cries stopped. Just because my cries had stopped, though, didn't mean I was done hurting. I struggled so hard to come up with the right way to say these things I felt, but I couldn't.

"It may not be the same right now," He spoke after a moment of letting me calm down, "But that doesn't mean it'll never be the same again." I looked up shyly, "Okay?"

He had a huge point there. It _was_ possible. Maybe. So I took a deep breath and nodded. Biting my lip, I looked back down as he nodded as well and stood up.

"Can I ask you a favor?" I mumbled, and he met my eyes. Apparently, I just couldn't stop bugging him.

"Anything." He replied quietly.

"Well, it's more like two favors." I admitted, remembering. I waited, and when he didn't protest, I continued, "One, don't tell my dad I'm here. It would be a whole lot easier for him if he didn't know." He frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to go with him." I replied, "And from what I remember, it's definitely not an option."

"It wasn't an option then." He reasoned and I looked up.

"It still isn't one." I said. "A week ago, I could still let you all go. Now that I remember, it's impossible." He smiled a little, nodding as he looked down, "The other thing.. Um.." I studied my hands in my lap, "If Jack ever does get caught, don't make me go to a trial." He frowned again.

"They shouldn't make you go at all."

"Last time, they did." I mumbled, "It doesn't go well, and I don't wanna go through that again." He nodded again, believing me, "One more favor." I hesitated, "Please don't hate me for what I did."

"Leandra, listen." He said after a moment spent in silence, "Jack is.. The kind of individual that likes to see pain."

"You don't have to tell me twice." I mumbled.

"What I mean is, he likes to cause pain. In any way, shape, or form that he can." I nodded a little, agreeing, "He knows exactly what he was doing asking you to do something like that. I couldn't blame you for something that was his doing from the start. You know what happened was wrong, and that's enough for me."

"But I wanted to." I shook my head.

"You wouldn't have wanted to, had he never put you into the position to." He clarified. That made sense.

"It was his idea." I told him, "He didn't even let me do it."

"What do you mean?" He asked, frowning.

"The first time, when we shot her shoulder, he was the one holding it. My hand was over his, and he told me I had to add the pressure. I guess he didn't want me to shoot him instead, but he moved, and it scared me, so I moved. Just enough."

"So it wasn't you who actually shot her?" He asked and I shook my head. So that's what he was thinking? He thought it was all me that did it, and he still wasn't mad at me?

"No." I replied, "I was going to, but he didn't let me. He said he just wanted to see if I would do it. He said he needed her alive." He sat up straighter, nodding slowly in understanding now, "I didn't even want to do it, but I was _so_ mad at her for so many things, and Jack was telling me not to disappoint him, so.. I was going to. I would have, if he didn't stop me. I know that makes me a bad person, but.."

"You're not a bad person." He told me, "You were manipulated."

"What does that mean?" I asked quietly, frowning a little in confusion.

"It means.." He paused for a moment, "Jack talked you into doing what he wanted you to do, even though you knew it was wrong."

"Yeah." I agreed, nodding a little, "So.. It wasn't my fault?"

"No, Leandra." He said, "The blame in this case falls soley on him. He never should have put you into a situation like that. Never. Asking that of you is unforgivable." I looked down.

"He said it was because he taught me to be that way." I told him quietly. I wanted to keep talking, but I yawned instead.

"You should rest." He said, "Get cleaned up, eat something, and rest. You've been through too much."

I had little choice but to listen, far too exhausted to resist. While I took a careful bath, Esme made me something to eat. Something cooked, not just some sandwich, which I was thankful for. Getting clean first, it took three times of replacing the bath water before I was clean. Scrubbing my skin clean, just to get the residual dirt and blood off of it.

I had to have my forehead bandaged again, as I desperately needed to wash my hair. I got to see the two tiny stitches, and the bruising spread over my skin, and winced. Realizing how hard he'd hit me. Lucky I had a hard head.

I had yet to see any of the others, but I knew Emmett had heard me. He knew I remembered now, and I knew he was holding himself back.

So once I ate, I had to go find him. If what I remembered of the dream was true, almost right away, he and I had become almost best friends. I found him in the living room, as usual. Biting my lip, I stepped over, and sat on the other end of the couch. Sitting cross-legged, facing him.

I knew he knew I was there, but he didn't say a thing.

"Mad at me?" I asked quietly when I got tired of the silent treatment, and he looked over.

"Hell yes, I'm mad at you." He replied, and I looked down, "Running off, almost getting yourself killed before I could bug you some more?" I laughed a little, keeping my gaze down. I was quiet for a second.

"Think Jasper's mad at me?" He was the one I'd disobeyed, after all. I couldn't blame him for not being in the room.

"Oh, he is." Emmett nodded, "He thought for sure you'd listen to him."

"Think I can hide from him for the rest of my life?"

"No." He replied, and chuckled, "I'm glad you're okay, though, shorty." I smiled wider as I heard that. Noticing, he laughed again, "What?"

"You always used to call me that." I admitted, sniffling a little in my left over emotion from earlier, "Always, so at least one thing is the same."

"I'm happy to help." He chuckled, and I smiled a little more before it faded. He waited, watching me, "You okay?"

"I wish I never woke up." I admitted, "I might not remember everything, but I would have been.. _So_ much better off just.. I don't know. Dying right there."

"Don't say that." He said, shaking his head.

"You don't know how bad this hurts." I replied quietly, "You don't know how hard this is for me. Remembering all this stuff that never happened, and all the people that meant the most to me in the world don't even really know who I am."

"It's true." He said, "I don't know how bad that hurts, but think about it this way. If you hadn't woken up, you'd never have known that we were actually real."

"That's what hurts." I looked up, "Figuring all of this out. Remembering what waking up actually took from me. It's not just a feeling anymore, Emmett. I remember what it was _supposed_ to be like, and it's not like that anymore." I looked back down, sighing, "Carlisle says it could still turn out like that, but no it can't. I didn't have the chance to learn how to trust you guys like I did before. Starting now wouldn't make it the same."

"How do you know starting now won't make it better?" He asked, and I knew he had a point.

"I don't." I admitted after a minute.

"Exactly." I jumped at Jasper's voice behind me, practically flying across the couch. Over Emmett to sit on the armrest of the couch beside him. Emmett was smirking, obviously trying not to laugh, and potentially piss me off again. Jasper stood with Alice, watching me as well while I attempted to calm down.

"She's pretty quick." Emmett pointed out quietly, a hint of a chuckle in his voice.

"I wish I wouldn't do that anymore." I whimpered, looking up at them.

"That might take some time, shorty." Emmett murmured, smiling, "He ain't gonna bite you."

"Shut up." I sighed, looking at him. I didn't find that funny, but he certainly did.

"I didn't mean to startle you." Jasper told me, and I sighed again, "I apologize."

"It's okay." I mumbled, looking down. It was quiet for several tense moments, just like it had been with Emmett, until I finally spoke again, "I'm sorry."

"Leandra, what were you thinking?" Jasper asked calmly, "Why didn't you do what I asked you to do?"

"Because you didn't ask me, you told me, and because I'm nine?" I offered, hoping it would calm his disappointment some. It seemed to work, at least a little bit, as I noticed his slight smirk. I knew he wanted a real explanation, so I looked down.

"I know it was stupid, but I thought I was only being sent back because I was in the way." I explained, "So I was going to leave, and find a way to live on my own. I had to stop in Sappho first, though, because I needed some clothes, but I never got far enough to grab any."

I kept my eyes down, continuing.

"Jack was there when I got there." I said, "So was my mom. I looked through the window, and I heard what he was telling her, and.. I don't know, I guess I wanted to help her somehow, but that went wrong. Right from the start." I paused, "I never should have listened to him, but I couldn't help it. I hate her _so_ much for what she did, and I guess I never knew just how much before."

"What do you hate her for, Leandra?" Jasper asked, slowly sitting down, "This much anger isn't good for you to hold onto."

"I hate her for ignoring me." I answered, "It's her fault I grew up how I did."

"It's true." He said, "She does hold a lot of the blame, but you're resting it all on her, and that's not how it should be. It's only natural for you to be angry, Leandra, but there are so many other factors that you're not taking into consideration."

"Like what?"

"You've been wronged for so long, it's hard to figure out which way to blame." He explained calmly, "There's your father, of course, for leaving you. He never should have done that, but somehow, I sense it wasn't entirely his choice."

"How could it not be his choice?"

"You've met Jack before." He said, "You tell me." I never even thought of it like that before. Jack always got what he wanted. Usually without much effort on his part.

"And your mother." Jasper continued, sighing, "I can't speak for her, as I don't know her, but it sounds to me like she came back for you." I shrugged a little, "Maybe leaving in the first place was never her idea." I frowned a little.

"The day she left was the day Alice saw her." I explained quietly, "Before school. When I got home, she was gone."

"Maybe she had to leave in a hurry, Leandra." Jasper offered, "Maybe it was the one chance she had, and she didn't have a chance to wait for you to get home. Maybe she thought that by leaving, she would be doing you a favor."

I shrugged again.

"Do you remember what it was like for you?" He asked, and I looked up, "When you had to leave in a hurry?"

"I won't ever forget what that was like." I mumbled, shaking my head a little.

"What if she was just as scared?" I couldn't reply to that, "Would that not matter?"

I thought about how to answer. Pursing my lips for a moment. I couldn't, so I just looked up. Hoping he could understand how I felt just by looking at me. The reasons didn't matter to me. I didn't care about why she did it. I only cared about the fact that she did it at all. That's all that mattered to me.

"She left me a long time ago." I whimpered, rubbing my arm insecurely.

"So," He said, "You're saying that if she was ever found, you'd not want to see her?"

"Never." I murmured, shaking my head, "She made her choice. It's not my job to forgive her. I hope she dies, because I didn't get the chance to do it."

I was stuck. This was one subject that would lead me around in circles. Always bringing me back to that one single emotion. That one split second when I decided I hated her so much that I wanted to take her life.

I was sorry for it, but that didn't change how I felt. I was sorry for it, but I would do it. If I had the chance, I would do it. I wanted them to understand that. My words clearly bothered him.

"And your father?" He asked after a moment, "What about him?"

"What _about_ him?" I asked in return, "He made his choice, too."

"Was he there?" Jasper asked, "Before?" He meant in the vision.

"Yes." I mumbled, "He was there."

"What can you tell me about him?"

"He's got a new wife." I murmured, "A new daughter. He lives far away, and if I don't convince him, he'll want to take me."

"And that's a problem for you?" I nodded immediately, "Why?"

"I hate him too." I admitted, "I hate him just as much."

"If given the chance," He started firmly but quietly, "Would you kill him too?"

"Yes." That answer even surprised me, but I tried not to show it. I never even noticed I felt that way about him too, but even I heard the truth in that one quiet word, so I had to explain, "I don't want to hurt him, but I will."

"You know that's not how you're supposed to handle your emotions, right?" Jasper asked, hiding his surprise amazingly well.

"I know." I said, "But I will."

I wasn't like that before. I wasn't like that back in the vision. Back in the vision, I had been angry. I had been mean, but not like this. This was something else.

Something had changed me for the worse this time around, and I worried about what that would mean later in life, but for right then, I could definitely feel the difference. The difference in the way I should be, and the way I was. There was a darker side to me now that I couldn't escape.

Jasper studied me for a moment, before he glanced to Alice with a sigh. It was silent now, not even Emmett offering a joke to lighten the mood.

"Thank you, Leandra." Jasper finally said, standing. I watched after him as he headed up the stairs. Probably to talk to Carlisle about what we'd just talked about. I rubbed my eye a little, sighing. I couldn't blame Jasper. This was a problem. I knew it, and I knew he knew it. That's just how it was.

I wondered what this would mean for me now. Would it change anything? Would that change everything else? Probably.

"Well, that was interesting." Emmett finally spoke up, and I looked to him, "It's a good thing we're sturdy, isn't it?"

"I'd never hurt you guys." I mumbled, "Even if you weren't so sturdy."

"I'm relieved." Emmett replied in a serious tone. No joking anywhere in it, and I smiled a little. Finding that amusing.

It wasn't until the next morning that Carlisle found me. It was clear to me that he and Jasper had talked about everything all night, probably trying to figure out what to do. I had to admit, I was nervous when they both came to the kitchen. I worried about what they'd decided about me.

Carlisle sighed, leaning a little on the table where I sat.

"Leandra, I want to talk to you about the situation we're in right now." I looked to Carlisle as he spoke, nervously biting my lip. Jasper stood silent behind him, his expression telling me this wasn't something good. I nodded, letting him know I was listening.

"One, as much as it bothers me, I can't tell Charlie about what happened recently at the trailer." I understood that, "It would raise too many questions, and I've chosen to leave that out." I nodded, agreeing with him. Having to tell Charlie about what happened would not have been easy. I was relieved about that, "But the body had been found."

I looked down immediately, reminded forcefully of the sight I still saw every time I closed my eyes, "I didn't do that."

"We know that." He said, "They won't find anything that connects you to the murder. So that's a good thing, at least. If anything, they'll just assume it was Jack." Because it was, "They won't even think about suspecting you."

I didn't know what to say to that, keeping quiet.

"Next, is this situation with your father." I bit my lip again, harder this time, "Charlie had already found, and contacted Chris before we ever discussed it. The problem I'm facing right now, is about what you told Jasper. I don't know how to go about bringing that up without having to explain in detail why you can't go to him."

"Then I will." I mumbled, looking up.

"Leandra, I don't think you understand what that will mean for you." He said, "Children are not supposed to have that reaction. They're not supposed to even really be able to comprehend what it means to kill someone. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"

I frowned a little, confused, so he continued, "It means that if you're honest, if you tell Charlie the truth about how you feel, he'll see that as a deeply disturbing sign that you're not getting what you need. Telling him will tell him that you need more help than we can currently provide you ourselves."

I stayed quiet, trying to understand, "There are places, facilities that he can send you to get you the help you require, and we won't be able to stand in the way of that, because it's ultimately the state's decision. Especially if you're exhibiting the signs that you are exhibiting."

"You mean, they can take me?" I asked, understanding now.

"Yes." He nodded a little, "If Charlie senses you require that sort of rehabilitation, then he'll make it happen. I'm confident, right now, that there's no better place for you than right here, where it would be impossible to hurt any of us if you were to try, but I can't explain that to him."

"I won't go." I said immediately, "I want to stay here."

"You see our dilemma." He murmured, "Chris has already been notified, and is intending to reclaim custody. Because he's your biological father, we have no grounds to prevent that."

"But if Charlie knows about what I'll do, he'll send me away anyway."

"Exactly." Carlisle sighed.

"Then.." I mumbled, "I'll just have to convince my dad to give me up. I hate him. I won't go with him."

"I'm glad you suggested that." Carlisle nodded, "Because he's on his way over." I was in tears before he finished saying that, "An official from the state is accompanying him, and they'll both be here in a few minutes." I shook my head, "Leandra, I'm going to take what you told Jasper seriously, okay? That is something I'm not going to take lightly. Any other time, I would tell you to at least give it a try with your father, but in this case, I can not comfortably do that."

He spoke quietly over my quiet sobs, "Just know that if he does manage to take you with him today, we won't be far behind. We may not be able to be directly with you, but we'll be right outside until we can figure out a way to get you out of there. It _directly_ depends on how this meeting goes. Do you understand?"

I sensed a meaning in his words, but I couldn't tell what that meaning was. Too distracted by my tears, and my overwhelming fear of being taken.

Just as he finished speaking, a knock at the front door caught his attention. The second I heard that, I stood up, and rounded the table to Carlisle's side.

I was scared now. I really didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hurt him, but I would. I hated him so much, just like I hated my mom. I blamed him, and nothing would ever change that.

Also just like with her, I didn't care what his reasons were. The only excusable explanation for leaving me behind like he did, was death. If he'd died, then I'd understand. Everything else, was just an excuse. Excuses he was hiding behind.

Carlisle sighed, lifting me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, just like I always remembered doing. Before, in the vision. It comforted me slightly to do this, not letting go as I felt him start toward the living room. Jasper trailed behind us, his eyes on me. My cries quieted a bit, and I knew Jasper had everything to do with that, but I continued holding on.

I didn't want to see him, so I closed my eyes. Keeping them closed, holding tighter.

"Leandra." I heard his voice, and it was familiar. Just like with everybody else in that vision now, I knew him. I knew him, and I didn't _want_ to hurt him.

"She's a little shaken up." Carlisle explained away my behavior.

"Oh, that's completely understandable." He replied, "I know. I sort of expected this, actually."

"What happened to her forehead?" Someone else's voice actually did take my attention. I didn't recognize his voice, so I slowly turned around. Curiously gazing up at the man standing back. He must have been from the state, given the folders in his hand, and the way he watched both my dad, and me closely. Esme stood beside him, watching us as well.

"I tripped." I mumbled, "And bumped my head on the table in my room. I have a little cut, so Carlisle says to keep it covered." Given the way it was still bandaged, he had to believe that. And given the way I continued to hold onto Carlisle, he knew I wasn't afraid of him. Not in the least. I really didn't want him to suspect them. Never.

They were the only ones I cared about.

With that, I looked at my dad. I met his eyes, and I recognized myself. I looked just like him, which was surprising to see. Even with the way I remembered him from the vision. Not actually seeing him for over six years, hardly remembering him from so long ago was still a difficult thing to get over now.

I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I just felt the same anger, and the same hate I felt toward my mom raising my heartbeat. That pressure was something I was quickly beginning to recognize. Instant tension, like being startled, but this was different. I knew both Jasper and Carlisle could feel and see the change, as Carlisle held me tighter.

The amount of anger I felt seemed to steady, once it was where it was going to be. Just thinking to myself that he should have been there too. If he had been there, nothing would have ever happened. If he had been there, if he had cared enough to stay around, then I wouldn't be the way I was now.

I didn't care what his reasons were. No reason in the world was good enough to me to explain away what I was going through now. Nothing in the world would make abandoning me okay. I just felt so incredibly resentful toward him, and because of that resentment, I became confident that there was no way in hell this would ever work. I threw him a quick, but no less heated glare before looking down. Glaring down at my hands, nervously examining my fingers.

"Leandra." He spoke again, probably seeing the emotion in my eyes. He was confused, given his tone, but I wouldn't let that bother me. It wasn't my job to wonder about his confusion.

"If you cared about me at all, you'd leave me here." I told him, and despite the hurt that entered his eyes, I didn't care. I didn't care how much I hurt him. In fact, I hoped I did. I hoped he felt just a little bit of the pain I felt for all these years. He deserved that and then some.

"You weren't there, and you lost your chance." I continued, hoping with all that I was that he'd listen to me, "You can't make it right by taking me now. I hate you. I'll always hate you. That won't change just because you make me leave with you. That'll only make it worse. Leave me alone."

He didn't say anything at first, looking down. I looked back up, watching as he seemed to struggle with what to say next. The anger was somewhat tolerable when he wasn't watching me in return.

The second he looked up, I looked down. Glaring back down at my hands. I couldn't handle this much anger. Not without being able to do something about it. I felt like I'd explode. A storm inside me that almost physically hurt with its strength. Tensing me, like before. With Emmett. Like that day in the hallway, but this was so different. With Emmett, I had stopped myself. With Emmett, I had the opportunity to, but I didn't _want_ to hurt him.

Before I'd seen him, I hadn't wanted to hurt him. Now, I ached for the opportunity to run across the room and stab my own father.

"Leandra," My dad finally said, "I couldn't be here."

"I don't care." I replied instantly. My tone was significantly darker, yet again gaining Carlisle and Jasper's attention. Even Esme's eyes grew concerned across the room. I glanced to her, hoping briefly she didn't think less of me.

"I wasn't allowed to be here." My dad continued, "I literally was not allowed."

"I don't care." I repeated, shaking my head stiffly, my hair swaying slightly along with it as it fell over my shoulder, partially hiding my face.

"I was hoping for you to be a little reasonable."

My anger was no longer stable.

"Reasonable?" I looked up, my anger tripling in that one moment, "You're asking me to be reasonable when _you're_ the one that left me? _You_ left _me_. Don't try to blame me. It's _your_ fault." I hardly recognized my own voice, "And you know it is, so don't pretend that I'm being _unreasonable_, when you just took off, and pretended that I was never born!"

I was literally trembling now in my anger. I literally wanted to hop down from Carlisle's arms, walk over, and punch him in the face as hard as I could. I wanted to just beat on him until I couldn't anymore. I wanted nothing more than to take out my anger on him, but I knew I wouldn't be satisfied until he was in the same position that man in the trailer was.

I wanted to hurt him, and I wanted to hurt him _badly_.

"I shouldn't have to be reasonable when you're the son-of-a-bitch that left your only daughter behind like trash!" I didn't miss the way my voice shook. How angry it was. I knew he had to hear it too.

He looked to the official by the door after a moment of staring down at the floor.

"I need a moment." My dad muttered, shaking his head.

"Of course." The official told him, nodding. I watched as my dad turned, and that only pissed me off even more.

"Yeah." I fiercely called after him, "Run away. That's what you do, isn't it?" Carlisle wouldn't set me down now, and I understood why, but it was still frustrating. I wanted to run after him.

"Leandra." Carlisle took my attention, "Look at me." I clenched my teeth, sobbed through them and looked to him now, "Calm down. I understand how hard this is on you, especially after the last week or so, but I want you to try."

I only cried harder, hugging him again. He held me tighter in response, of course being careful of my bruises. He knew just how to hug me to keep from hurting me, which was a very tricky thing.

The rest of the visit didn't go at all well. It went even worse than the start of it, but so far, Carlisle had kept me far enough away from my dad that I couldn't hit him. Carlisle held me the entire time, keeping me from attacking him. Knowing that was the only way to do so, but that didn't stop me from yelling at him, throwing the blame straight at him.

The longer I sat there, seeing him, the worse I felt. The more I was allowed to see him, the more I hated him. It got to the point where I wanted to tell him that if he wanted to protect himself, he'd leave me here. I knew better than to actually say that, though. Not with the official watching our entire interaction.

"If you cared about me in anyway," I sobbed angrily his direction, repeating myself, "You'd leave here, and never come back, you fucking coward."

His tone was pained now as he spoke up again, "Leandra-"

"Coward!" I shouted again, listening to Carlisle's sigh behind me as my dad looked down, "I don't fucking care! Just leave! Leave!"

"Alright." He finally sighed, shutting me up, "I'll leave, and I won't come back. If that's what you really want, Leandra, then I'll do it, but just know I'll always love you-"

"Fuck off." I growled, glaring harder now, "Don't you _ever_ tell me that. I've been lied to enough in my pathetic life."

I watched as he nodded, glanced once more at the official standing motionless by the door, and turned. Leaving the house, closing the door behind him. I didn't dare take a breath until he was off the porch.

"Well." The official sighed into the silence of the room, "That didn't go well at all. I think it's safe to assume he's going to forfeit his rights. I trust you'll continue to be the ones to foster her?"

"Leandra," Jasper called my attention, "Come on."

Carlisle finally let me down, and kept hold of me until Jasper took my hand. Just to keep me from running after my dad, knocking him over and smashing his head against the pavement outside like I wanted to.

I doubted I was strong enough to do that, but that didn't make me want it any less.

Jasper led me into the kitchen, me hardly resisting at all. I just cried now. More upset than I'd expected to be for quite some time. Sitting me down, he sat beside me. Waiting with me while gently calming my emotions. Not too quickly, but more like covering the pain slowly. Working calmly with me until I sat there quietly.

His eyes watched me intently, concentrating while my tension eased. My trembles slowly calmed, and he didn't speak until I sat there calmly. Sniffling as I slowly traced the wood patterns on the table with my finger.

"You did what you had to do, Leandra." Jasper murmured after a moment. I sniffled, nodding a little, "We're listening. We know you have your limits, and you were just letting him know that. That's all you were doing. You were warning him, and we heard you loud and clear. He did too." I was surprised how much that comforted me, "You're doing just fine. Take a breath."

Doing as he said to, I calmed down even more.

I nodded, letting him know I was okay. Looking back over my shoulder, toward the living room. He stood up with a sigh, probably listening to the conversation in the other room. I looked up at him, waiting for him to decide I needed to be filled in. Patiently waiting, sniffling quietly now and then.

"You'll be staying." He told me, "And for right now, your anger doesn't seem to be an issue yet." I sighed now in relief, looking down, "They are discussing it, though. It's up to him, the official. It's not up to us, whether you have to see someone." He paused, continuing to listen, "But because of your recent past, he's giving it time. He's recommending therapy, but not making it mandatory."

I appreciated being filled in. Especially since I found it frustrating that I couldn't hear a word of what they said to each other. They talked so quietly, it was impossible.

He fell quiet, frowning a bit as he continued to listen. I waited, biting my lip.

"What?" I asked finally, unable to take the silence.

"Nothing." He shook his head a little, but his frown stayed, "They're discussing Jack now." I immediately looked down. I hated the sound of his name. It always managed to scare me. Just the sound of his name sent ice through my blood, chilling me. It sounded too rough. Too violent for not just me, but for anyone else to hear.

"He's still gone, isn't he?" I asked after the brief emotional spike, and slowly, Jasper nodded. Confirming it. I already knew that. Jack wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be found. That's just how he was.

I wondered vaguely about Ken, whether or not they even tried to get him. Considering with Charlie, I'd only talked about Jack, I doubted it.

"Alice has seen him." Jasper murmured, "But never any specific location yet."

"What about my mom?" I had to ask.

"She's with him." He nodded, "She's alright. He had her treated at a hospital quite a ways away from here. She tells me he's _very_ creative."

"I told you that already." I mumbled, folding my arms on the table, and leaning forward, resting my chin on them.

"So far, he's gone straight east." He informed me, "Not yet deciding on a specific place. Sooner or later, though, he will." He paused, "But.. I think it's safe for us to assume you inherited your gift from your mother." I frowned, looking up at him, "It's a bit difficult for Alice to see them as well, because she's there. Even if she's never developed it, it still poses a problem."

"Perfect." I grumbled, "I should have killed the stupid bitch when I had the chance."

"None of that." Jasper corrected me, and I fell silent, "I don't want to hear those words from you. Understood?" Despite his tone being quiet, it wasn't as gentle as it always was. It was a correction, and it was effective. I looked down, further than I had yet today.

"Why not?" I asked, "She deserves it."

"I won't argue with you right now." That pretty much settled it right there. Despite the way I wanted to keep arguing. Knowing he was watching me. Probably silently testing to see if I would continue my arguing.

"Alice never saw what happened there, huh?" I asked quietly after a minute of sitting there. Choosing not to argue with him either. Choosing to change the subject instead as I continued to trace the patterns on the table top.

"No." He answered after a moment, "She didn't."

"I could tell." I mumbled, "Because she was so worried about me when I got back here."

"Leandra, did you see yourself?" He asked, and I shook my head, "Finding you covered in blood like that is a very startling thing to find." He paused, "The only reason we were able to find you at all, was by Emmett recalling what you'd mentioned about the shed. Behind the trailer. We hadn't even thought to look there, thinking you'd be long gone elsewhere. It made no sense to us why you'd ever go back there."

I was quiet, sighing as I lowered my gaze back to the table.

"We'll figure this out, Leandra." He told me, "Everything."

And I knew he meant the way I was. The way I hated with so much fury behind it. Why I felt bad about it, but couldn't change it. Knowing I could kill, and just knowing I could do it scared me.

I was learning things about myself that scared me, but I trusted the family enough to know they'd be there to help me. I might not know what made me this way, as there were probably so many answers to that, but I knew I was where I needed to be. At least until I was older.

I kept my eyes down as Jasper calmly headed from the room. Giving me time to myself. I couldn't quite be sure, not yet. Not until I could remember more about the vision and what happened in, but I was fairly certain that this time around, I was far more dangerous, and under twice the amount of stress.

They wouldn't realize that until Edward got back and he could tell them exactly what it's like for me. Until then, I would just be a mystery.

Keeping me here wasn't just for my safety anymore. It wasn't like that yet. Keeping me here was more for the safety of other people, because if I could hate my own parents that way, what was to stop me from hurting other people?

With that single thought, I sat up straighter. Frowning a little as I recalled one of the last things Jack told me. One of the last things I heard him say to me. If I was this bad now, how much worse would it get?

What would I grow up to be?

**END**

**A/N: Fear not, my dear readers! Another story will be on its way just as soon as it can be. It may take a few days, but never fear. I've got plans for this story. Prepare for a surprise appearance by a HUMAN version of one our favorite characters.  
That's all I'm gonna give away, ladies and gentlemen.  
I hope you enjoyed this final chapter, and I look forward to reading your responses to what our favorite little psychopath is turning into.  
On that note, THANK YOU to my GORGEOUS reviewers! Your thoughts are VERY appreciated, and I look forward to them each and every chapter. :D  
Until chapter one, my dear, beautiful readers!**


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